Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

stinkle

AnonAsimov wrote: »

Not totally sure if I'm right or not but I'm quitting my job. I've booked flights for this month and I'm handing in my notice tomorrow. I finished work on Friday and was already dreading coming in Tuesday that same day. I hate that job it's not really in my field and I'm treated like crap.

Since I've taken that job I've dropped a college course I was doing and am back in medication. I've enough saved to last a couple of months so I should be ok.

I sure hope this works out. I'm sick of being unhappy.

well done on deciding to take action. No job is worth feeling that bad.

stinkle

Hey, welcome! And great that you are taking a big step to address this. I'm on Xanax too since very recently and it's great, but I don't like the drowsiness it induces in me, so like yourself I'm trying to take charge, as it's been spilling into everyday life.

Call Me Jimmy

kc83 wrote: »

Just saw this thread for the first time! I have been trying to cope with anxiety for the past 13years and it has been a struggle.It started when I was diagnosed with depression and although still do get down sometimes have seemed to come through the worst of it. I think though a lot had to do with my anxiety! It's extremely bad and have been given Xanex but enough is enough! Anxiety is overlooked! Mine effects my every day life! I get anxious when things change,when something unexpected happens, or as I describe it is when someone jumps into the ring that I do not want in the ring as I have my people who understand etc and I have decided to take my FIRST really big step on years and make an appointment with someone who helps with this (hopefully)!! Has anyone heard of Jack Carter?? And any recommendations?

Hey welcome. It sounds like you have your head right to get started on tackling it once and for all. Imo anxiety is easier to overcome in a structured way than depression. Remember that anxiety is physical as well as mental and that it can be beaten.

I haven't heard of that doctor but I would recommend the book 'Self-help for your nerves' by Claire Weekes I think. Short enough book but it gave me a completely new perspective on nervous disorder, i.e. linking it to the NERVOUS SYSTEM that runs up and down the whole body all day every day. It can become overactive and on a biological level, knowing whats going on (and some mental approaches to calming it) was very helpful for me before.

Best of luck

lukesmom

stinkle wrote: »

oh brilliant, how do you feel now? does this help you get through the day?

Yeah at least I know I'll see her in the morning and hopefully she can do something with my meds to alleviate my anxiety.

Killer_banana

When you're doing good do you ever feel like you're on borrowed time? Whenever I have unexpected good days I just expect to come crashing down again any moment. My work trial is next week and worried I'm going to crash spectacularly for that. I don't really have a plan B so need it to work out.

stinkle

Killer_banana wrote: »

When you're doing good do you ever feel like you're on borrowed time? Whenever I have unexpected good days I just expect to come crashing down again any moment. My work trial is next month and worried I'm going to crash spectacularly for that. I don't really have a plan B so need it to work out.

yes I hate to say it, but I expect something to tip me over the balance when things are good. That's life though, I suppose and happens regardless of previous anxiety or depression.

A month is a good while to prepare for the work trial. What does it entail and can you avoid unneccessary stresses between now and then?

I'm up to ninety at the moment with my current job and personal stresses. I've a lot of people making demands of my time and have decided to plan stuff for me and everyone else can fit around that, rather than have them dictate my schedule. Also I'm gonna try and delegate some family stuff to other family members

AnonAsimov

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Are you flying to somewhere you know?. Staying in a job that's ruining your head is often very bad for mental and physical health so I would not blame you for leaving.

Cheers Grem, heading to Canada. I have relatives I can stay with and some pretty good contacts. Hopefully ill land something sooner than later. My brain feels fried so I wouldn't mind taking a low level entry job and cruise for a bit and think about what I want out of life.
Giving my notice went allot better than expected. I thought he was gona chew the face off me.but he didn't, I think I can count on him for a reference even.

Gael23

Hey Guys,
This is not specific depression as such but something you might have an answer to.

Basically, I feel really let down by someone I thought I could trust, its been just over 2 months now since this happened but I still find it quite hard to let go of the anger and frustration caused by it.

I just wondered how you can deal with it in a positive way? I realise I need to try to move on and everyone I've spoken to tells me that but its hard to go on like any of it ever happened and also I have been left with a bit of a mess to clear up which doesn't help

Call Me Jimmy

Don't ignore it, process it fully. Sit with all the things that come through, feel them. Say some angry things to yourself. It sounds cliche but get it all out emotionally, even to yourself (you can get through something on your own just as well as if there's another person there imo).

Then think it out, why am I suffering? Because someone let me down? why does that bother you? Because I trusted them I thought I knew them and now that has changed. And is it a case of you can't hang around with them anymore?

just do a stream of consiousness/logic in the vein above and when you freely articulate it to yourself with full feeling you might get some insight.

handbagmad

I got stood up last night. Why are people so cruel. I would have accepted/respected him if he even text to let me know he didn't want to.
if this is what dating is like, im staying alone.
Can't let this set me back but my feelings and pride R badly hurt

Gael23

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Don't ignore it, process it fully. Sit with all the things that come through, feel them. Say some angry things to yourself. It sounds cliche but get it all out emotionally, even to yourself (you can get through something on your own just as well as if there's another person there imo).

Then think it out, why am I suffering? Because someone let me down? why does that bother you? I trusted them I thought I knew them and now that has changed. And is it a case of you can't hang around with them anymore?

just do a stream of consiousness/logic in the vein above and when you freely articulate it to yourself with full feeling you might get some insight.

I know that life moves on and that but it takes time to process that thought constructively. Im also trying to find a way of moving forward again and have gone back and forth a few times on that.
It bothers me because often when trust is broken it can't be gotten back and this is on of those situations so its really a case of trying to find a way of picking up the pieces and moving on I guess.
I really wish I could fix it but I can't and thats not really in my control

Hugo Stiglitz

handbagmad wrote: »

I got stood up last night. Why are people so cruel. I would have accepted/respected him if he even text to let me know he didn't want to.
if this is what dating is like, im staying alone.
Can't let this set me back but my feelings and pride R badly hurt

Hang on in there H. There are apparently good people out there somewhere. You never know, you might meet one of them when you least expect it.

ryanf1 wrote: »

Hey Guys,
This is not specific depression as such but something you might have an answer to.

Basically, I feel really let down by someone I thought I could trust, its been just over 2 months now since this happened but I still find it quite hard to let go of the anger and frustration caused by it.

I just wondered how you can deal with it in a positive way? I realise I need to try to move on and everyone I've spoken to tells me that but its hard to go on like any of it ever happened and also I have been left with a bit of a mess to clear up which doesn't help

I wish I could offer some good advice like Jimmy has. I'm the type that never forgives and never forgets which means I tend to quietly seethe which results in continuing the negative experience. I hope you do get some closure on this though.

Call Me Jimmy

handbagmad wrote: »

I got stood up last night. Why are people so cruel. I would have accepted/respected him if he even text to let me know he didn't want to.
if this is what dating is like, im staying alone.
Can't let this set me back but my feelings and pride R badly hurt

That's tough pill. I pleade with you for my sake, do as you say and let it bounce back off you. Once you remember that you are still as class as you always are - doesn't change because of some fool's meandering!

Call Me Jimmy

ryanf1 wrote: »

I know that life moves on and that but it takes time to process that thought constructively. Im also trying to find a way of moving forward again and have gone back and forth a few times on that.
It bothers me because often when trust is broken it can't be gotten back and this is on of those situations so its really a case of trying to find a way of picking up the pieces and moving on I guess.
I really wish I could fix it but I can't and thats not really in my control

I suppose acceptance then is where you need to channel your energies, but that takes time so patience is needed. I would sit down in my chair and try and see through the fog of thoughts and just look around my room for a bit.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, it could easily be but I accept when I'm ruminating on something that it is an indulgence. When I think about repetitive thoughts as confectionary and I'm just after finishing a whole pack of jaffa cakes I stop and say 'jesus i need to stop eating'. Our bodies usually do this for us, but with the mind I think it also has to be practiced. A lot of us suffer because of repetetive thoughts and it's like a drug to me.

But I hope I don't sound like I'm belittling this man it sounds serious. Just tryin to think things out practically, how do you move on? As you said it's outside of your control, I'm losing my hair, outside my control. Whether we like or not, are happy or sad, universe shrugs his shoulders, then we have to shrug our shoulders back.

Gael23

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I wish I could offer some good advice like Jimmy has. I'm the type that never forgives and never forgets which means I tend to quietly seethe which results in continuing the negative experience. I hope you do get some closure on this though.

I did feel like you would for long enough,and as if i'd been kicked where it hurts.
Its been nearly 3 months since all this started and the way its happened theres a chance I won't see the person again so I don't have to forgive really, except to get this out of my head.
I still fell hurt, and thats going to last for a while but that was bound to happen I suppose.
Part of me wants a chance to forgive if I ever meet the person again, but to do that I would need the truth and some answers and i'm not sure I will get that

Killer_banana

stinkle wrote: »

yes I hate to say it, but I expect something to tip me over the balance when things are good. That's life though, I suppose and happens regardless of previous anxiety or depression.

A month is a good while to preparee work trial. What does it entail and can you avoid unneccessary stresses for th between now and then?

I'm up to ninety at the moment with my current job and personal stresses. I've a lot of people making demands of my time and have decided to plan stuff for me and everyone else can fit around that, rather than have them dictate my schedule. Also I'm gonna try and delegate some family stuff to other family members

It's actually next week, not next month. I mistyped - if that's a word. :P i'm just trying to spend this time on getting out and about and seeing people and getting various bits and pieces done in preparation. If I get the job I'll be moving country but I don't want to have going away because firstly if it doesn't work out it'd be very embarrassing to come back after having a party and secondly seeing people individually or in small groups over the course of the week gives me more chance to chat and catch up with people properly than if it was one big group. Basically trying to have a fun relaxed week and not stress too much about what might or might happen. Trial ends the same day my final year exam results come out though which I am not happy about...

Sounds like a good choice. You need to look out for number one first and foremost. It can work out better for others as well because if you're looking after yourself you're in a better place to help others and generally just better company.

handbagmad

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

That's tough pill. I pleade with you for my sake, do as you say and let it bounce back off you. Once you remember that you are still as class as you always are - doesn't change because of some fool's meandering!

im not going too jimmy. I am hurt can't say otherwise.
Why build someone up to let them down.
F**kin as*hole....
There must build the bridge and get over it

Hugo Stiglitz

ryanf1 wrote: »

I did feel like you would for long enough,and as if i'd been kicked where it hurts.
Its been nearly 3 months since all this started and the way its happened theres a chance I won't see the person again so I don't have to forgive really, except to get this out of my head.
I still fell hurt, and thats going to last for a while but that was bound to happen I suppose.
Part of me wants a chance to forgive if I ever meet the person again, but to do that I would need the truth and some answers and i'm not sure I will get that

Depending of the severity of the event, 3 months can still be mighty fresh in the mind. Do you find yourself ruminating the incident over and over again?

Gael23

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

But I hope I don't sound like I'm belittling this man it sounds serious. Just tryin to think things out practically, how do you move on? As you said it's outside of your control, I'm losing my hair, outside my control. Whether we like or not, are happy or sad, universe shrugs his shoulders, then we have to shrug our shoulders back.

Its not really that serious but it just never happened to me before and never thought it would.
Trust is something thats earned and when its broken in the blink of an eye its just a little hard to take. As I said, I've been dealing with this since mid March and at the time I was so stunned at what was happening it kind of took me over and I kept asking myself why are people trying to hurt me like this.

I have been having some of the same thoughts over and over again but uo to quite recently they were thoughts of anger and frustration. I know now I need to try and change those thoughts into how to move forward and put this behind me

Gael23

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Depending of the severity of the event, 3 months can still be mighty fresh in the mind. Do you find yourself ruminating the incident over and over again?

At times I did but I do find it becoming less often now as time moves on.
Im not sure i'll ever come to a point where I forget it ever happened but I can't keep going around in circles either.
I should add that this happened in a professional capacity rather than a personal one.

NegativeCreep

Left this thread for ages because I was feeling fine for a few months. Thought that was the end of it. Clearly not.

Feel terrible. Probably the worst I've ever felt. This is how it'll be forever, a few good months and then ~ a year of feeling terrible. I don't even know.

handbagmad

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Left this thread for ages because I was feeling fine for a few months. Thought that was the end of it. Clearly not.

Feel terrible. Probably the worst I've ever felt. This is how it'll be forever, a few good months and then ~ a year of feeling terrible. I don't even know.

hang on in there negative creep.
Feeling sh*Ty too. Its like a rollercoaster.
The good days I really do forget how bad the bad days are,!
I hope it lifts soon for you

NegativeCreep

handbagmad wrote: »

hang on in there negative creep.
Feeling sh*Ty too. Its like a rollercoaster.
The good days I really do forget how bad the bad days are,!
I hope it lifts soon for you

Thats the thing that annoys me about it. You completely forget just how bad it gets! **** it.

neemish

Welcome back NC
I often take a break from the thread when life is good, but it's great to know it's here!
When it comes back it's the worst. I hate the start of it, when I'm wondering is this going to last for a day, a week or a year.

I'm doing ok, but feel very tired. Not just insomnia tired. But emotionally drained. Supposed to be starting a meds change this week but just not up to it

Gremlinertia

I haven't really ever taken a break from the thread since I started posting here :$ actually now I think about it, I think any time I'm offline for a bit I'm usually very very bad. Still feeling pretty terrible here.. Think the only thing I do reliably is mess things up..

Call Me Jimmy

I don't remember you going into too much detail though Gremlin (not that I'm asking you to if ye don't want to). It surely is something you feel you can do very little about. Have you got people in your life?

Gremlinertia

Don't know if I have gone in to huge detail but you certainly hit a nail on the head with that question.. A big thing in my life is how many people have left it.. An above average ( that sounds cold and clinical - it's anything but for me though) amount of people have died.. Then there's people who left the area for work or relationships etc. If it wasn't for bus drivers, shop assistants and barstaff I would, and have, gone days without speaking..

I have to admit that I'm most likely not great company at times, however I am trying to help myself by staying on medication and keeping to hospital appointments whenever they come up.. Disappointed in some people I guess and feel too hurt to trust in someone else..

Call Me Jimmy

I sometimes think people in our situations sometimes really need a shock (not of the traumatic kind). How many years have you been underwater? Sorry to hear about your people situation. I have half a pocketful of friends but if one or two of them went i'd be pretty ****ed.

Gremlinertia

Couldn't tell you how long I've been depressive for as I think i have always had a tendency towards darkness.. The suicides of people around me started about five years ago. Lost some other people to accidents and cancer.. Not saying everyone of them were best mates but it decimated the two main social circles that I used to exist in.. Feel a bit like a ghost wandering around sometimes.

Gael23

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I don't remember you going into too much detail though Gremlin (not that I'm asking you to if ye don't want to). It surely is something you feel you can do very little about. Have you got people in your life?

I think this is often what hurts most. When it's something that no matter what you do you can't fix.