Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Gremlinertia

It's all a bit difficult, i haven't moved yet today. In bed since finishing work this morning. Back into work again soon.. Least i have the job, not working would give me way too much time on my hands.

InReality

Good luck with it. I think I saw a thread about them on boards. If you can participate at all in them I'd say that's a big plus.

lukesmom

I'm on a lot of meds for my generalised anxiety disorder. Had to practically beg for my valium dose to be upped today and the psych wouldn't increase it. She wants to see me in the morning for appointment. I've small kids to look after and I need my valium. I don't care that they are dependant. Aren't most meds anyway? She told the nurse I should present myself at A&E??? Wtf????? Why would I ever go back in there I am not depressed I am severely anxious and in therapy but it ain't enough to get me through the days. It's like passing the problem onto somebody else. I left there feeling like complete sh!t.

Gremlinertia

I see what you mean lukesmom, getting sent back to a&e when you are already in therapy seems odd. Does your doc perhaps want you to see another doc for second opinion on medication I wonder?.

InReality

I think docs in general are almost desperate to get people off Valium these days. Its considered as bad or worse than alcoholism and hard drugs in terms of addictiveness.
When I asked my Psy about them she talked me out of it.

lukesmom

InReality wrote: »

I think docs in general are almost desperate to get people off Valium these days. Its considered as bad or worse than alcoholism and hard drugs in terms of addictiveness.
When I asked my Psy about them she talked me out of it.

True but it has a place for those who are extremely anxious. I tapered off it last year with no problems.

lukesmom

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I see what you mean lukesmom, getting sent back to a&e when you are already in therapy seems odd. Does your doc perhaps want you to see another doc for second opinion on medication I wonder?.

No it's just passing the buck onto someone else. When she sees me this morning and hears me out she will know what I mean. It is odd and was such an odd thing to say.

Gremlinertia

Know the feeling. They don't seem to be taking me seriously at hospital, perhaps because i am working i wonder.. Yet if i wasn't working i sincerely doubt i'd be here.. At a total loss currently.

Temaz

These withdrawals are hell!

Had to be signed off work for a few days.

Never touching a sleeper again and I'll never go back on zispin.

lukesmom

So doctor leaving me on meds as they are and not changing them for 3 weeks. She has assigned me to the homebase team who will call me everyday to chat about how I'm doing.

Temaz

lukesmom wrote: »

So doctor leaving me on meds as they are and not changing them for 3 weeks. She has assigned me to the homebase team who will call me everyday to chat about how I'm doing.

That's good support to get. Hope it works out!

lukesmom

Temaz wrote: »

That's good support to get. Hope it works out!

Thank you and I hope you feel better soon too. Can I ask what your withdrawing from?

Gremlinertia

A homebase team actually sounds like a decent idea for now. Hope it works for you. Think i'll be on look out for some new way to help myself if i can get out of this blackness i'm in..

lukesmom

Gremlinertia wrote: »

A homebase team actually sounds like a decent idea for now. Hope it works for you. Think i'll be on look out for some new way to help myself if i can get out of this blackness i'm in..

Awful isn't it. Hope u come out of it soon

Gremlinertia

I truly hope so too. Can't sleep, can't stay awake. Had what i can only guess was a full on panic attack the other night, horrific.. So damn tired of it..

Call Me Jimmy

Gremlinertia wrote: »

A homebase team actually sounds like a decent idea for now. Hope it works for you. Think i'll be on look out for some new way to help myself if i can get out of this blackness i'm in..

Understand gremlin. It often takes me to wait for fate to deliver me a small bit of light so that I can even begin to use my own mind with me rather than against. I've taken today off because when I work for even 2 weeks I begin to notice my mind and body especially moving into the fuzzy place of not being able to discern whether I'm coming or going, feel tense, muscles around my eyes start becoming very uncomfortable, my torsoe may as well not exist for all the feeling I can identify from it.

So I've said to myself, right, lets go deep into this today, let the feelings of discomfort 'have their way' and wash over me past the point of discomfort, hold them their, give them the keys to the body and say 'right stomach muscles, you want to spasm? Go. do your worst. How about you thighs? You complaining about something, nows your chance to really tell me how you feel you annoying little bastards. Shoulders pop if you want to pop, you have the floor.' No trying to make my body 'calm' artificially, that's what I'm doing nearly all the time. My stomach wanted to do quick sharp breathing, as most tense stomachs do. So I let it for a while. It got it out of its system.

What I'm saying is by trying to seem calm to myself, I've been tensing my body to the point that all the muscles are spasming so that I sit 'still' but I wasn't still, my muscles were actually spasming at a rate that appeared to be stillness (think how a table is vibrating at a certain rate to make it solid).

So I'm looking at things that way today because I've had to. My uncle got my a more practical mindfulness book and I'm also taking that onboard and restarting practice today. Surprising myself because I am in a sort of place with my usual problem that I would not bother with anything. But I'm regaining the attitude of not having to be physically uncomfortable at the very least. Mind is trickier but at least that.

cloudatlas

Feeling sick as a parrot after the group assessment today. Two people dominated I had a good idea but nobody listened. The guy who was loudest was asking people what they had and since I had more to consider than everyone else as I had been given more information (not fair in my opinion) I missed a chance to respond and I know it looked bad to the assessors like I wasn't listening even though I was, I just had more to consider. When it came my turn to speak I thought I did a good job of explaining what I had but the person who had the same didn't get it or wasn't listening. I made two small mistakes on the individual tests.

I fooking hate these corporate ways of assessing people. They think thought process and communication is straight forward and can be condensed into a tiny arse ways test where the rest of your work history matters for ****. :mad:

Temaz

lukesmom wrote: »

I'm on a lot of meds for my generalised anxiety disorder. Had to practically beg for my valium dose to be upped today and the psych wouldn't increase it. She wants to see me in the morning for appointment. I've small kids to look after and I need my valium. I don't care that they are dependant.

They are highly addictive and my doc stopped giving them to me, I got hooked on stilnoct and am kicking that atm along with zispin and it's hell so I know how you're feeling.

I wish you all the best.

stinkle

cloudatlas wrote: »

Feeling sick as a parrot after the group assessment today. Two people dominated I had a good idea but nobody listened. The guy who was loudest was asking people what they had and since I had more to consider than everyone else as I had been given more information (not fair in my opinion) I missed a chance to respond and I know it looked bad to the assessors like I wasn't listening even though I was, I just had more to consider. When it came my turn to speak I thought I did a good job of explaining what I had but the person who had the same didn't get it or wasn't listening. I made two small mistakes on the individual tests.

I fooking hate these corporate ways of assessing people. They think thought process and communication is straight forward and can be condensed into a tiny arse ways test where the rest of your work history matters for ****. :mad:

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling good about your experience. I've been on both sides of group work before and sometimes the loudest people aren't doing themselves any favours. It obv depends on the field your in, but I've definitely felt like I said too little/wasnt very assertive and was actually the only one who passed, and subsequently I had to supervise group work and being loud wasn't an asset in the people we were looking for.

cloudatlas

stinkle wrote: »

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling good about your experience. I've been on both sides of group work before and sometimes the loudest people aren't doing themselves any favours. It obv depends on the field your in, but I've definitely felt like I said too little/wasnt very assertive and was actually the only one who passed, and subsequently I had to supervise group work and being loud wasn't an asset in the people we were looking for.

Thanks Stinkle. One of the assessors was impressed with the loud mouth guy as he went straight over to him afterwards and told him that we were doing well until someone didn't say that they had a certain part and that this was a listening task (assumed he meant me, though I was listening) and he probably skirted over the fact that I made a good contribution that was shot down that was proved right when the result was apparent. Still I felt it wasn't fair to give me more information to handle than the rest of the group also unprofessional of the douche assessor to say anything about the performance afterwards.

lukesmom

Temaz wrote: »

They are highly addictive and my doc stopped giving them to me, I got hooked on stilnoct and am kicking that atm along with zispin and it's hell so I know how you're feeling.

I wish you all the best.

Yeah I'm still on 8mg valium. I came off Zispin in February with no withdrawals but missed the sleep it gave me so went back on it 6 wks later

stinkle

cloudatlas wrote: »

Thanks Stinkle. One of the assessors was impressed with the loud mouth guy as he went straight over to him afterwards and told him that we were doing well until someone didn't say that they had a certain part and that this was a listening task (assumed he meant me, though I was listening) and he probably skirted over the fact that I made a good contribution that was shot down that was proved right when the result was apparent. Still I felt it wasn't fair to give me more information to handle than the rest of the group also unprofessional of the douche assessor to say anything about the performance afterwards.

That is unprofessional. Hopefully it won't all come down to that one assessor - it sounds good that your contribution was proven right! As you say, that was a listening exercise - maybe they should have listened to you!

InReality

Fair play for doing the group interview anyway.
I hope you get it , its very hard to judge these things anyhow , and even more so when anxiety/depression sticks its oar in.

handbagmad

Just done 8k walk. I was day dreaming so much didn't realise how far id gone then realised had to walk back =]

Gonna be sore tomorrow.
Plus side too tired now to think

Gremlinertia

Work, day on couch in a daze, back to work.. Hopefully since i'm not on tomorrow i might catch some sleep and be able to do something.

cloudatlas

stinkle wrote: »

That is unprofessional. Hopefully it won't all come down to that one assessor - it sounds good that your contribution was proven right! As you say, that was a listening exercise - maybe they should have listened to you!

Who knows obviously this was a first time experience for me (and the organisation they haven't used this assessment before. go figure ) I just wish so much wasn't riding on an experiment and that I had a shot at a proper interview. We'll see, the last p.f.o after interview hit me hard. I hope I can rally myself and keep applying if it's a negative result but each time it gets harder. I have an appointment with a recruitment agency tomorrow so I won't check my emails for the result until after that appointment so I'm not stressed out if the answer is a no. Thanks.

Gremlinertia

Another six hours or so and out of here.. Nearly grateful to my pain issues as they mean I don't have to try appear ok or, dare I say it, happy.

Addle

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Have you suggested he talk to his gp, perhaps offer to go with him? There's turntome.org that has online group support if he's not able for his doctor..

Tried recommending this site to someone today and I can't access it. Is anyone else having problems with it?

Gremlinertia

Addle wrote: »

Tried recommending this site to someone today and I can't access it. Is anyone else having problems with it?

turntome.org is only live between 16.00 and 22.00 if memory serves me.. Think they have a rep on the "talk to" tab.

cloudatlas

Bad news unfortunately. I feel like the energy has been sucked out of me. It's hard to keep filling in forms repeatedly and continue with a part time job that I dislike, I am dependent on others and financially stunted. Nowadays employers create so many road blocks to interview, things that weren't required before, things that their top managers didn't have to go through to get the job and yet they make entry level candidates do them.