Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

neemish

Just realised that any I felt better over the week end when I took my anti anxiety meds. Can't take them during the week because of driving/work. Bit of a catch 22 really. Take meds, feel better but have to stay at home or not take them and risk feeling pretty lousy at work.

I know that I'm going to have to go to work, just wish a felt a bit better in myself

handbagmad

neemish wrote: »

Ben and Jerry - no better friends on a day like this!
Fair play on the walk. You got further than me. Mind you, I did manage a shower

i'm back in bed now only temp. changed the mood. Happens a lot these days, l'm like jeckel and hyde.

Try not to stress out about work easier said than done. I think bankholidays do more harm than good tbh.

Well done on the shower, went a few days last week without one. It can be hard to get the energy sometimes

Rothko

ellavin wrote: »

Do you think it helped the doc out me on 15 mg of lexipro its laying in cupboard I said last week il make another appointment this week I will. . Do yiu mind me asking what part of lreland you from

I'm not really sure. I think it has a bit. It has been known to initially cause people to feel worse and that happened to me, although it felt like I was getting worse anyway. I've also been going to occupational therapy and that's helped me a lot. I'm from the south east.

Robyn_14

Guys I have been reading some of your stories. They brought tears to my eyes. They are sad but what you don't realise is you are all so so brave. And you will get through this. It's so lonely and sad to feel so bereft and alone but you are all going to find the strength, don't be afraid. Talking to a GP is scary but look at all of us here suffering, doctors know there are people out there who need some help,God knows a lot of doctors probably feel like this at some stage.
The human mind is a beautiful yet fragile thing. Life is too short to feel sad. If you need help reach out one little step at a time. I know it seems too difficult at times but you are not alone, look at the amount of people on this forum alone.
Hugs to everyone, you have made me feel a little better so thank you xxx

Gremlinertia

Well I'm back in circulation here again. Kinda decided not to be online during week off. Had a lot of pain too so surfing the net would just be annoying, anyway how are people here?.

Gremlinertia

A few here were apprehensive about today regarding work and such.. I hope ye got through it ok..

RubyXI

Psychotherapist tomorrow :eek::eek::eek:
Terrified doesn't say half of it.
Don't know if i can do it.

dougalbear

I am at a loss with unemployment and an unfinished thesis with a few years still pending completion. I cant focus my head to get to grips with where I am at in life and the seriousness of not having graduated with my masters. I put a front to all that I am good but deep down I am so depressed with what I have left happen me with finding work. I ashamed of not having work. I have tried counselling over a long period but cannot afford to keeping going weekly anymore. I dont know why I came to boards to vent my frustration but I am really at a loss.

delthedriver

dougalbear wrote: »

I am at a loss with unemployment and an unfinished thesis with a few years still pending completion. I cant focus my head to get to grips with where I am at in life and the seriousness of not having graduated with my masters. I put a front to all that I am good but deep down I am so depressed with what I have left happen me with finding work. I ashamed of not having work. I have tried counselling over a long period but cannot afford to keeping going weekly anymore. I dont know why I came to boards to vent my frustration but I am really at a loss.

Be easy on yourself. Completing a thesis and a Masters is not the most important things in life. You are the most important thing, So be kind to yourself.


Idenjtify what is most important to you at this point in time. I believe they should , you, your health and having enough money to get by.


If things don't change they will stay the same. Your tomorrows will be like your yesterdays.


So it is time to get your health back, plot a new course of action, get a job to ensure some financial security, and ultimately complete your thesis and Masters.


Be kind to yourself! You are worth it


I hope this makes sense

delthedriver

phi3 wrote: »

Psychotherapist tomorrow :eek::eek::eek:
Terrified doesn't say half of it.
Don't know if i can do it.

Of course you can get through it.


There is nothing to be terrified about. Trust me.


Relax, go with the flow, the meting will be over before you realise it.


Be kind to yourself

dougalbear

I would like to thank you very much Dell the Driver for the above message you left for me to read. It was very kind of you and what you said makes sense to me. There is something that I cannot pinpoint that is holding me back from getting on with things. I feel so passive and disinterested in what I need to be facing up to..not having the thesis completed is like a big red ring on my C.V. I have had a few interviews recently and I come across so scattered in my train of though and my voice goes so low and meek. Its frustrating but change is the cornerstone to fixing where I am at right now. Thank you again Del for your encouragement.

neemish

Del? Where you gone? Hope all is ok. xx

delthedriver

neemish wrote: »

Del? Where you gone? Hope all is ok. xx

Neemish,


Thank you for your kind post. Oh I am still around.............


All well here.


Best wishes always,


d

neemish

Ah! It's your location that says closed account! LONG day!

Glad all is well.
N.

delthedriver

dougalbear wrote: »

I would like to thank you very much Dell the Driver for the above message you left for me to read. It was very kind of you and what you said makes sense to me. There is something that I cannot pinpoint that is holding me back from getting on with things. I feel so passive and disinterested in what I need to be facing up to..not having the thesis completed is like a big red ring on my C.V. I have had a few interviews recently and I come across so scattered in my train of though and my voice goes so low and meek. Its frustrating but change is the cornerstone to fixing where I am at right now. Thank you again Del for your encouragement.

Dougalbear,


You are most welcome & thank you too for your message.


This is a wonderful thread where all the contributors have similar issues going on in their lives. They are a fantastic bunch of people who look out for each other.


Be life confident!


Sincerely,


delthedriver

Drumpot

Suas11 wrote: »

Feeling deeply depressed and distressed at the moment and yet again I feel tempted to self harm but I'm trying to fight it.

Has anyone here experienced sleep paralysis? I think I experienced it recently.

Cant remember the last time I had it, but I can tell you its one of the scariest things that has happened to me. .

It happens usually when I am really tired and stressed. I sort of wake up semi conscious in the middle of the night but I am completely paralysed. I think its where the mind wakes up but the body is still in that paralysed state that it gets in sleep.

When it first started I would try to scream or wriggle my body to alert my wife to wake me up. But this got me even more distressed. Usually if I can relax, accept that I will either wake up or fall back asleep, it goes quick enough. Its scary when you actually think that somebody might be in your bedroom and you cant move (that's what usually freaks me out!).

Drumpot

neemish wrote: »

Just realised that any I felt better over the week end when I took my anti anxiety meds. Can't take them during the week because of driving/work. Bit of a catch 22 really. Take meds, feel better but have to stay at home or not take them and risk feeling pretty lousy at work.

I know that I'm going to have to go to work, just wish a felt a bit better in myself

Just a suggestion, but what I have done (with some but not perfect success) is that I have a number of things I do to try and help pick me up.

I am off all medications now, so I find my anxiety , fatigue and feeling down can be quite acute. I used to try something and if it didn't work I would just dismiss it completely.

For example, sometimes going for a walk helps, but sometimes it doesn't. Instead of dismissing it when it doesn't work I move onto other things. I find going into an empty church, taking deep breaths and just letting my mind wander can help. If I struggle to stop thinking about upsetting things I go with them sometimes and sometimes I try to just look at the pictures on the wall (of jesus carrying cross etc), to try and take the focus of whatever is bothering me.

Sometimes I will try to make a plan for later on in the day or week. For example, there was one day I was feeling rotten and very long story short I ended up finding a meditation course in a Jesuit church that I hoped might help me learn good meditation techniques. I believe that the mere fact I researched, reached out to a support group (this can be everybodys support group) and found something that may help was enough to pick me up. I was actively trying to do something to feel better.

It may sound like a small thing, but it can have a huge knock on effect to me . When I am at my lowest I seldom want to do anything or talk to anybody. But if I push myself to do something positive (not necessarily going out with friends or social events) to try and help improve my mood, I instantly feel like I am taking back some level of control in my life.

I believe medication is great to help me get back balanced at different times but its a crutch, not a solution. I wouldn't refuse to take medication again if my doctor really recommended it, but I am working with my doctor to try medication free life techniques to live my life.

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I'm a registered boardsie but don't feel comfortable posting under my username. Basically I've had issues with depression for a number of years now but have let things get so out of control now that I am on the brink of failing final year in college. I have missed lectures, essays and exams but haven't been able to bring myself to approach anyone in college about it. I'm now faced with sitting all exams in August and while it will be difficult I know I have the ability to pass them all if I could only sort my head out. I've managed to hold down a part time job during this time and I've hidden the depression so well that none of my colleagues or even my best friend suspect anything. I have seen a doctor about it before and was on anti-depressants for a while but after thinking I was better, it has all been building up on me again. I know I need to see a doctor and talk to college about it but I'm struggling to find the energy and courage to do that.

delthedriver

Guest5002 wrote: »

Hi there,

I'm a registered boardsie but don't feel comfortable posting under my username. Basically I've had issues with depression for a number of years now but have let things get so out of control now that I am on the brink of failing final year in college. I have missed lectures, essays and exams but haven't been able to bring myself to approach anyone in college about it. I'm now faced with sitting all exams in August and while it will be difficult I know I have the ability to pass them all if I could only sort my head out. I've managed to hold down a part time job during this time and I've hidden the depression so well that none of my colleagues or even my best friend suspect anything. I have seen a doctor about it before and was on anti-depressants for a while but after thinking I was better, it has all been building up on me again. I know I need to see a doctor and talk to college about it but I'm struggling to find the energy and courage to do that.

If things don't change they will stay the same!


Please talk to your Doctor and College immediately.


You can do it! You can also pass your exams , you just need a little time to get yourself organised both physically and psychologically.


Do not be hard on yourself, indeed be kind to yourself.


Take one day at a time, remember you can do it!


Best Wishes,


Sincerely,
d

stinkle

Up and down at the moment. Had a mildly stressful week at work - I had to speak at a meeting this week and was wracked with guilt that I haven't been performing so well lately so I was dreading it. I have been unmotivated but some aspects have come to an end, or halted so I've genuinely been less busy than in the past but it's allowed me more desk time.

Anyway the meeting went well, though I was dreading being undermined by the bullies in the group (often happens - try to belittle my work). I'm happy to say I held my own really well and was fairly assertive in dealing with the negativity - to the point where I got really sulky/negative body language from them. It was so weird, almost as if I'd caused offence by not lying down and taking it. It was actually funny looking back, although I'd much rather not be in those kind of situations in the first place. I had arranged to meet a friend for lunch and I was so delighted to get away from the meeting and meet her! It might also be the last meeting I have to speak at before my contract is up, and that feels good - all the sweeter for standing up for myself!

Really this job is my main trigger for anxiety. I spoke about feeling like this only last week with my OH as I was very upset about lots of things. He said I'm always too hard on myself, and maybe there's some truth there, but it's all I know really. Maybe that's why I take things to heart when they go wrong. I wake every day with dread, regardless of what lies ahead that day and it can be hard to get up. Then at night I'm wired, though once I go to bed sleep usually comes. Thankfully, at the moment my stomach is behaving despite the anxiety feelings every day. I've not gone to the GP yet (the idea pops in and out of my head), but should make an appointment for something else anyway and discuss my feelings then.

I'm a bit uneasy today as have some stupid admin things to chase and it's less straightforward than it should be. I need to speak to one of the bullies about it too so that;s obviously contributing! I've emailed someone else first and if I dont get a reply I will call them later - I hate sitting around waiting for emails to come through. But will ignore and do something else till later on. Gonna stick on some music and hope that helps (it usually does). Maybe treat myself to a Friday treat!

delthedriver

stinkle wrote: »

Up and down at the moment. Had a mildly stressful week at work - I had to speak at a meeting this week and was wracked with guilt that I haven't been performing so well lately so I was dreading it. I have been unmotivated but some aspects have come to an end, or halted so I've genuinely been less busy than in the past but it's allowed me more desk time.

Anyway the meeting went well, though I was dreading being undermined by the bullies in the group (often happens - try to belittle my work). I'm happy to say I held my own really well and was fairly assertive in dealing with the negativity - to the point where I got really sulky/negative body language from them. It was so weird, almost as if I'd caused offence by not lying down and taking it. It was actually funny looking back, although I'd much rather not be in those kind of situations in the first place. I had arranged to meet a friend for lunch and I was so delighted to get away from the meeting and meet her! It might also be the last meeting I have to speak at before my contract is up, and that feels good - all the sweeter for standing up for myself!

Really this job is my main trigger for anxiety. I spoke about feeling like this only last week with my OH as I was very upset about lots of things. He said I'm always too hard on myself, and maybe there's some truth there, but it's all I know really. Maybe that's why I take things to heart when they go wrong. I wake every day with dread, regardless of what lies ahead that day and it can be hard to get up. Then at night I'm wired, though once I go to bed sleep usually comes. Thankfully, at the moment my stomach is behaving despite the anxiety feelings every day. I've not gone to the GP yet (the idea pops in and out of my head), but should make an appointment for something else anyway and discuss my feelings then.

I'm a bit uneasy today as have some stupid admin things to chase and it's less straightforward than it should be. I need to speak to one of the bullies about it too so that;s obviously contributing! I've emailed someone else first and if I dont get a reply I will call them later - I hate sitting around waiting for emails to come through. But will ignore and do something else till later on. Gonna stick on some music and hope that helps (it usually does). Maybe treat myself to a Friday treat!

A Friday treat is most important! Be kind to yourself you deserve it. Bullies are bullies, whether in the classroom, playground or workplace .
Does your Company have an Anti-Bullying policy?
Anyhow you are coming to the end of your contract, so put yourself first!
If things don't change they stay the same , a visit to your GP is important to look after your health, both physical and psychological. See it like getting your car serviced.
Most of all be kind to yourself

ellavin

Someday my family will discover borads I hope it helps them

stinkle

ahhhhh.....everything worked out in the last few mins. Sorted the query I had and sent stuff for next week to the bully. I might not have heard the last of the nonsense today but I've done everything expected of me. Now to relax a little.

The GP thing pops in and out of my head depending on how anxious I am. If I;m doing ok I forget to make an appointment. I need to phone about a different issue this month so will definitely mention it.

I'm nearly done alright (and have a good bit of time to take off in the interim!), but I'm feeling pressured to get through everything before then. I'm looking after myself I think! Getting more exercise and trying to eat better. More sleep might be a good thing to focus on.

I've nice plans for the weekend so happy about that.

delthedriver

stinkle wrote: »

ahhhhh.....everything worked out in the last few mins. Sorted the query I had and sent stuff for next week to the bully. I might not have heard the last of the nonsense today but I've done everything expected of me. Now to relax a little.

The GP thing pops in and out of my head depending on how anxious I am. If I;m doing ok I forget to make an appointment. I need to phone about a different issue this month so will definitely mention it.

I'm nearly done alright (and have a good bit of time to take off in the interim!), but I'm feeling pressured to get through everything before then. I'm looking after myself I think! Getting more exercise and trying to eat better. More sleep might be a good thing to focus on.

I've nice plans for the weekend so happy about that.

Well done! Have a great weekend!

LegacyUser

delthedriver wrote: »

If things don't change they will stay the same!


Please talk to your Doctor and College immediately.


You can do it! You can also pass your exams , you just need a little time to get yourself organised both physically and psychologically.


Do not be hard on yourself, indeed be kind to yourself.


Take one day at a time, remember you can do it!


Best Wishes,


Sincerely,
d

Thanks Del. Have doc appointment booked for next week so feel a bit better now. Just need to make sure that I actually go and don't get over anxious about it.

Gremlinertia

Doing the darkness into light walk later. Missed it last year, anybody here ever go?.

murria

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Doing the darkness into light walk later. Missed it last year, anybody here ever go?.

Yes Gremlinertia, did it last year and doing it again tonight, both times in the Phoenix Park. It's a truly inspiring and meaningful event. So very moving to see people walking with pictures of their loved ones who they have lost to suicide, but at the same time there is a tremendous sense of warmth and unity.

Hope the rain stays away.

Gremlinertia

Weather gone to hell here.. It'll be an interesting stroll.. Then again i think wild weather suits it more..

cloudatlas

I have a headache and an interview coming up in the next few days. The person I'm depending on for support just keeps dragging up past experiences where I failed at interview which isn't very helpful and making me more anxious.

Gremlinertia

Headache stress related? I hope it recedes soon.. I've bee trying t grab a nap but it's not going well..