Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

neemish

Maybe get in touch with your GP? See if they can find out anything

Totalelf

neemish wrote: »

Maybe get in touch with your GP? See if they can find out anything

Spoke to St Pats, told to phone back at 5pm, but just getting answering machine. Guess admin is finished for the evening. Will try again tomorrow, and if no joy. I'll speak to my GP.

neemish

Nope, admissions are open til 7pm. they're probably doing another admission. Leave a voicemail and they might be able to get back to you :-) Stay with it, you're doing great

ashblag

jesus christ this is just a rollercoaster. was great the other day down to a ****ing miserable anxious mess now. Very worked up last night had bad thoughts of doing something took 2centrax to calm down. im usless a failure and a wast of a human life.
Im now getting serious pressure from work to go back this is all just too much for me.

Odysseus

Pedant wrote: »

Is skin picking a sign of extreme anxiety? I've had a habit since I was younger where I used to pick my scalp and forehead constantly. It usually gets worse when I'm stressed out and sometimes leaves scabs on my scalp and forehead. I usually have my fringe brushed down to hide them. I don't think it's a form of self harm because I do it unbeknownst to myself without thinking.

Sorry if I've grossed people out but does anyone else with anxiety do this?

Yes there is a particular term for it, but you need to speak to a professional about it, rather than some guy on the net saying its X. Go and have a chat with you GP, anyway if a person posts about their behaviour on a thread like this asking is this a problem/issue, it generally is. For them in anyway.

Hope that helps

G-Money

Anxiety calmed down and effectively went away once I started to get busy at work without the need for any medication. It's funny how when I'm busy and occupied with something, I feel "normal" and not on hyper alert. I kind of wish I could feel like that all the time. I'm wondering if constantly thinking about this stuff all the time is just making me worse.

G-Money

ashblag wrote: »

jesus christ this is just a rollercoaster. was great the other day down to a ****ing miserable anxious mess now. Very worked up last night had bad thoughts of doing something took 2centrax to calm down. im usless a failure and a wast of a human life.
Im now getting serious pressure from work to go back this is all just too much for me.

I haven't been following your posts ashblag so apologies if I'm stating the obvious. Are you seeing a professional about this stuff?

I'm not quite in the same boat but sometimes I feel not far off. My contract at work is finishing so I will hopefully be starting a new job in the not too distant future. However sometimes it all seems like it's too much. The thought of starting over somewhere new, with people I don't know and not knowing anything. It all feels too much and there's almost like screaming in my head.

I think it's so unfair that work is allowed to make people so unhappy and stressed out.

One day last week I was just mega stressed about the whole unemployment thing. I'd found out a few days earlier my job was finishing and I thought I had gotten used to the fact, but I don't know, just last Wednesday everything seemed to be too much. I was mega-stressed and tense, couldn't relax, couldn't focus on anything. Things kinda got worse at the psychologist as talking about it all was just making me feel even worse.

I managed to get to sleep that night but woke up in the middle of the night and straight away felt stressed again and sat there for about 1hr and a half from 3am to 4.30am feeling stressed. At this point a little voice in my head said "You don't have to put up with this, go see the doctor and get something to help". And almost straight away, the tension started to go. I just kept saying to myself "go to the doctor, get a prescription". I repeated that over and over and my stress levels went down very fast and I managed to fall asleep again shortly after.

I went to the doctor the next morning and got a prescription and it's a relief having some tablets here to help me through the tense times.

If you aren't seeing a professional, look one up. I find making an appointment is the first step in making me feel better.

ashblag

G-Money wrote: »

I haven't been following your posts ashblag so apologies if I'm stating the obvious. Are you seeing a professional about this stuff?

I'm not quite in the same boat but sometimes I feel not far off. My contract at work is finishing so I will hopefully be starting a new job in the not too distant future. However sometimes it all seems like it's too much. The thought of starting over somewhere new, with people I don't know and not knowing anything. It all feels too much and there's almost like screaming in my head.

I think it's so unfair that work is allowed to make people so unhappy and stressed out.

One day last week I was just mega stressed about the whole unemployment thing. I'd found out a few days earlier my job was finishing and I thought I had gotten used to the fact, but I don't know, just last Wednesday everything seemed to be too much. I was mega-stressed and tense, couldn't relax, couldn't focus on anything. Things kinda got worse at the psychologist as talking about it all was just making me feel even worse.

I managed to get to sleep that night but woke up in the middle of the night and straight away felt stressed again and sat there for about 1hr and a half from 3am to 4.30am feeling stressed. At this point a little voice in my head said "You don't have to put up with this, go see the doctor and get something to help". And almost straight away, the tension started to go. I just kept saying to myself "go to the doctor, get a prescription". I repeated that over and over and my stress levels went down very fast and I managed to fall asleep again shortly after.

I went to the doctor the next morning and got a prescription and it's a relief having some tablets here to help me through the tense times.

If you aren't seeing a professional, look one up. I find making an appointment is the first step in making me feel better.

hi yeah I am seeing my doc on a weekly basis for the past month or so. Im just very up and down. Work is really not helping the company ""nurse" was less than understanding. Its not like I dont want to work but my job you have to be 100% with it mistakes arent allowed thats why im frightened as right now I can barely consintrate on a reading a book!!
Im sorry for coming on here ranting its just helps sometimes
Its hard to put up a happy persona when all you think about is how worthless u are.
again sorry if im bringing anyone dowm

RubyXI

Well I've created this years lie about where I'm going for my holidays. It's nice and believable and is tied to the truth enough to be able to answer questions. It would be nice not to have to create my life.

Totalelf

neemish wrote: »

Nope, admissions are open til 7pm. they're probably doing another admission. Leave a voicemail and they might be able to get back to you :-) Stay with it, you're doing great

Got the call today, going in tomorrow. Thanks for the support, will keep in touch while I'm in there. So nervous but glad to be finally getting some help.

Seren_

Hope it goes okay for you totalelf x

Had a panic attack for the first time in over a year last nigh >.< Under a lot of stress at the minute so I know why it happened, it's just annoying. I wish I'd know by now not to let myself get into these situations when I know I can't deal with them!

DeVore

Totalelf wrote: »

Got the call today, going in tomorrow. Thanks for the support, will keep in touch while I'm in there. So nervous but glad to be finally getting some help.

You've taken the biggest step Totalelf. Big love and stay in touch, we're all in your corner.

T.

neemish

Totalelf wrote: »

Got the call today, going in tomorrow. Thanks for the support, will keep in touch while I'm in there. So nervous but glad to be finally getting some help.

Best of luck, will be thinking of you. We're here when you need us.

hugs,
N

Totalelf

Thanks all, just waiting to be admitted. Stomach is sick, and very anxious.

Gremlinertia

Hope it all works for you. Best wishes..

nesf

Totalelf wrote: »

Thanks all, just waiting to be admitted. Stomach is sick, and very anxious.

It's as nice a place as it can be. Don't be too worried about it although being anxious about a first admission is perfectly natural.

Captain Graphite

Your Text Here wrote: »

One thing that I think is important Capt Graphite is to try not to place a deadline on when you should feel better/be fixed by. Sometimes things can take a lot longer than expected, but once you're on the right path it's okay.

I know what you're saying, and to any other person in the world I'd say the exact same thing.

But for me, just in my particular case, there's a deadline. There's one mental block that I can't get past, which is the feeling that at 22 I've already "lost" my youth. And if I have to wait another 20 years to get on the right path....then it's just not worth it. Hell, even another 10 years is too damn much. If I don't force myself to get better, and force a deadline on myself, I may have to wait an insanely long time searching in vain for this fabled "right path". It either has to come soon or not come at all.

The next few years of my life are crucial because the thought of being, say, 30 years old and still having never achieved something I can be proud of and recognised for, or still not having any meaningful sense of direction in my life, is absolutely unbearable. Frankly, and I know this is gonna sound extreme, I'd rather be someone who died young than be someone who grew old and still never achieved anything or found that right path.

Mimbo

Hi,

I need some help. I am a panic/anxiety sufferer. I recently rescued a kitten and decided to adopt her. Now before she came to live with me, I had an anxiety attack thinking about the cat being lonely in our house and then suddenly I didn't want the cat to come. Now I'm an animal lover so I couldn't do that to her, so we got her. Now every since, apart fromt he odd there here and there, I am having thoughts about not wanting the cat which are making me feel anxious. I have already had two anxiety attacks over it.

Maybe in some strange way I think if the cat goes away, my anxiety will go but I also know that is illogical.

Has anybody experienced anything like this before?

da_shivsta

Your Text Here wrote: »

hello there this is a great thread for ranting/support, kinda more more private than the AH thread too, even though the AH one seems good too. I know exactly what you mean about people not understanding you - i'd say it can be hard to get what depression/anxiety etc is like unless you've been there. Are you seeing a dr/therapist? I find having someone like that to talk to really helpful.

I don't have to go back to see the psychiatrist (unless circumstances change), which I'm happy about. Still have to stay on the meds for the forseeable future 'cause the psych thinks I'd be likely to relapse. So just have to keep going with therapy and the rest.

hey there. my GP has me on meds for over half a year. it's my second time on them so I'd say I will be on them for quite a while. my doc says he isn't planning on taking me off them - he says he'd be inclined to leave me on them since I'm stable enough but without them I relapse. I am very forgetful with taking them. some days I forget altogether and I seem fine. other days I'm a pure mess still but at least i'm not hysterical or whatever. which I have been in the past.
I don't see a therapist because I don't find it helps me - I'm very aware of my feelings, I find writing things down more therapeutic since the paper won't judge or ask me questions. I just say what I want and don't need to worry.

Although I'm 22 now - my sister is 33 and has had the same problems. she told me that I should really think about whether the reasons for relapse are because I'm running away from the deepest problems. maybe that's a fair point.
I suffer from anxiety depression and SADS.

neemish

Mimbo wrote: »

Hi,

I need some help. I am a panic/anxiety sufferer. I recently rescued a kitten and decided to adopt her. Now before she came to live with me, I had an anxiety attack thinking about the cat being lonely in our house and then suddenly I didn't want the cat to come. Now I'm an animal lover so I couldn't do that to her, so we got her. Now every since, apart fromt he odd there here and there, I am having thoughts about not wanting the cat which are making me feel anxious. I have already had two anxiety attacks over it.

Maybe in some strange way I think if the cat goes away, my anxiety will go but I also know that is illogical.

Has anybody experienced anything like this before?

Can I ask, did you have any problems with anxiety before the cat?

I've never had any problems with cats or other animals but I can certainly relate to being anxious over seemingly strange things. (answering the phone is a big one for me, as is picking out/buying clothes). I practice slow breathing, reassuring myself that everything is ok.

Mimbo

No it didn't start with the cat. I have been suffering with anxiety for over 4 years.

Meditation and deep breathing does help but sometimes the anxiety gets away from me.

Gremlinertia

Yet another mess up with roster at work meant i spent an hour on the bus travelling in this morning to be told i'm not in until tonight. I can't help but feel it's my fault though i can't see any reason for it to be, and because some medication makes me drowsy it pulls my system upside down.. These little things de-stabilise me much more than i care to admit to anyone..

Anyway rant over, i hope everyone is doing ok here..

nesf

So tired. So sleepy.

Captain Graphite

spud_gunner wrote: »

existing is not really living at all

Exactly. And existing is pretty much all I'm doing at the moment.

When I move to England in September for my Masters it's sink or swim time. And I'm pretty much at the stage where I'm not getting depressed as such anymore, just more and more emotionally detached. It's like I'm issuing myself and the universe with an ultimatum; fix things in a year or I'm out of here.

Wrote a long blog post about all this last night.

jammstarr

Am feeling a bit low third day in a row now.

Hersheys

I've crippling depression/anxiety.

I take lexapro and zyprexa daily, and lexotan when I get a panic attack.

Stems from a ****ty childhood and a deep rooted feeling that I'm not good enough to live life.

I've a great doctor and a great CBT counsellor.

I'm sure I'll share more as the moments arrive

Goat the dote

Just feel so so sh1t. Snapping at the hubby for no reason, grumpy, tired but can't sleep. Just feel like never waking up again. feel like the worst mother in the world for not functioning properly at the start of my baby's life. Failure of a woman for not being able to walk during the pregnancy.

LegacyUser

It's kind of surprising when you realise just how many people face similar suffering to you.

I've been either clinically depressed or on an extreme high for more than 10 years running now. I also suffer from very bad anxiety for no reason. It's been a cause, not a side effect, for things going wrong for me.

Feels like a week, maybe two since I left my last job. It's been a year and a half... Cycle has happened 4 times now. Everything will be going well, I'll have a great relationship, a good job, and then one day I'll wake up and just can't go into work again. After a year or so I come out of it, go back into high energy super creative mode and land another job from nowhere. It's getting tougher now though, what with there being no work and having no references.

I suffer from extreme anxiety at even simply speaking to people, especially if it's someone I don't know or someone over the phone. Haven't been able to claim the dole just because the thought of speaking to someone about my personal circumstances sends me into palpitations (even though I have been looking for work, and am perfectly entitled to claim it).

Don't feel sorry for myself in the slightest, nor do I want anyone to feel sorry for me. Have thought very much in depth about killing myself (oxygen displacement, no mess, painless, not horrific) but absolutely never would due to the burden it would place on others. I figure I'm going to die anyway, so it seems totally pointless to inflict that much suffering on others.

Have spoken to family and friends about it in the past. "No you're not" is the short version of the response I got. My sister, knowing about the situation, tried to have our Dad throw me onto the street because I was unable to pay rent at the time. Our Dad owned the house & was renting it with us and two strangers. I haven't spoken to her since she moved out soon after... which she had been planning for 6 months.

I've seen a doctor about it once, put me off the idea permanently. Explained the situation to her calmly and clearly, particularly the lows and highs. Made it very clear that at the time I had been unable to look for work for a long time due to the illness & it was a last ditch effort to start fixing it for the sake of my family and friends before I topped myself. Wanted help with medication to regain some sort of control, get referred to someone who could help me properly and discuss the possibility of disability because it had been so bad for so long. She told me "it was a shame I hadn't gone to her sooner". Gave me a prescription for a Valium substitute, a card for the Samaritans, told me to go to social welfare (not eligible) and come back in 3 months. So essentially I paid 60 euro for a Samaritans card.

At the moment I'm reaching a point where I'm so emotionally disconnected that I might actually be able to make some progress on developing myself as a person. All I care about is being able to get into a position where I can help some of the people that have actually been there for me. Particularly my ex-girlfriend who pretty much carried me for a year when she had more than her own share of troubles to deal with already.

Right TLDR and I'm essentially talking to myself at this stage. Not sleeping for weeks is a bastard. If I have any advice to give anyone who feels suicidal it's: Go to sleep. You can always kill yourself tomorrow.

HalloweenJack

Have been doing really well for the last while but last night when I was getting ready for bed, a wave of anxiety hit me in anticipation of the week ahead. I think I only slept about five hours last night. Took me ages to get to sleep then I kept waking up and couldn't sleep past half six, just gave up trying.

Thankfully, I haven't had much to do today but tomorrow, I'll be getting up at 7am and probably won't get home 'til 11pm. I'm really dreading it, just don't feel like I have the energy for it.

Feeling really tired and edgy today. I have that heavy feeling in my chest and my fingers are all trembly. My friend's having a party tonight and I want to go but at the same time, I need to get a proper night's sleep. I'm in two minds about what to do. I want to hang out with my friends. When I do, I relax and the stress disappears so it's good for me. Just the sleep thing is bothering me. I know I can go and leave around 11pm and still get a decent night's sleep but I know come 11pm, I'll be telling myself "just stay a bit longer".

girlonfire

Feeling really s*** at the moment. It's so annoying when things are going really well, only to be followed by a low. I know it's important to appreciate the good times while they last. I'm just finding it hard to be positive at all of late. Flare-up of eating disorder behaviours, which I know is entirely my own fault and within my control to change. But I'm not changing it:(