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Lets all be anxious/depressed together.
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I don't mean to sound nosey but what kind of thoughts entered your head? Could you clear them from your head then?
The reason I ask is just in case myself and others ever get similar thoughts what you were able to do might help.
Hope you're ok now
What's up/?
Suicidal thoughts. Interspersed with what's the point/life's so sh1t/I'm fat and ugly and no one will ever love me etc etc etc. They stayed around for about an hour, but I started concentrating on the music I was listening to, and organising some of my notes which helped take my mind off them. Distracting yourself with repetitive tasks helps I find - you can focus on doing them instead of what's going through your head.
When you're really down it can be impossible to distract yourself from the bad thoughts though. Or you might not want to. I know that sounds odd that you wouldn't want to get rid of the bad thoughts, but when you're down the self-pity can just be comfortable, for want of a better word.0 -
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stupidusername wrote: »i've had my 5th session with my counsellor. I had to say to her that I wanted more than just talking. i said at the beginning that I was there for CBT as opposed to just counselling. she still seemed kinda confused. she asked what was I looking for. I said practical help. she kinda asked for an example then. so i dunno that I have much confidence in it getting better. but i'm giving it another week anyway. can't afford any more than that though.
CBT is tough work - really makes you look at yourself. But is well worth it - if you can convince your psrink/gp/councellor that you need to go that way then be prepared for some horror. Sorry for sounding so dramatic but it is hard stuff. Spent nearly a year with weekly appointments with a CBT. Almost all ended with me crying. But the upside is that you look at yourself and your relationship with the world in a totally different way.
I have no idea how much it will cost you - I was lucky enough to be on a medical card at the time and had a brilliant GP that pushed everything through for me. But if it means getting to the root of your problems then it's money well spent. When times get bad I still go back to some of the stuff we did together and it helps
Anyway, if you can afford it I'd 100% recomend going to CBT. Stay positive and know that there is a light at the end of that long and very dark tunnel
Take care x
PS - if you do go to CBT, be prepared to do a hell of a lot of writing
(You'll understand) 0 -
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CBT is tough work - really makes you look at yourself. But is well worth it - if you can convince your psrink/gp/councellor that you need to go that way then be prepared for some horror. Sorry for sounding so dramatic but it is hard stuff. Spent nearly a year with weekly appointments with a CBT. Almost all ended with me crying. But the upside is that you look at yourself and your relationship with the world in a totally different way.
I have no idea how much it will cost you - I was lucky enough to be on a medical card at the time and had a brilliant GP that pushed everything through for me. But if it means getting to the root of your problems then it's money well spent. When times get bad I still go back to some of the stuff we did together and it helps
Anyway, if you can afford it I'd 100% recomend going to CBT. Stay positive and know that there is a light at the end of that long and very dark tunnel
Take care x
PS - if you do go to CBT, be prepared to do a hell of a lot of writing (You'll understand)
thanks for that
the problem is I can't afford it. as is i'm paying €60 a week for this, and it's not CBT like I requested. i'm almost at the point where I don't believe they do it in Ireland. this woman is down as practicing CBT, but we haven't done anything but talk. and like I said she seemed confused as to what practical stuff she could give me to do. I set out on doing this because most things I read said they do 6-8 sessions for CBT, and I thought well I'll just dip into my savings. at this stage i'm €300 down, and no wiser. i'm on the waiting list with the HSE but i'm on that for exactly 11 months now, and i've been told it'll be months more.0 -
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stupidusername wrote: »thanks for that
the problem is I can't afford it. as is i'm paying €60 a week for this, and it's not CBT like I requested. i'm almost at the point where I don't believe they do it in Ireland. this woman is down as practicing CBT, but we haven't done anything but talk. and like I said she seemed confused as to what practical stuff she could give me to do. I set out on doing this because most things I read said they do 6-8 sessions for CBT, and I thought well I'll just dip into my savings. at this stage i'm €300 down, and no wiser. i'm on the waiting list with the HSE but i'm on that for exactly 11 months now, and i've been told it'll be months more.
Might just be your councellor trying to drag money out of you (fingers crossed I'm wrong). I was lucky in that my CBT was just that - CBT only. Maybe yours was only a trainee - they have to go through a hell of a lot of work to be CBT qualified.
It's not an exact science, an awful lot of they do is reacting to how and what you say. They are very smart at reading people - what you say and how you say it. And it's better if they are in contact with your psrink (they are good but not as good as your CBT)
I was initally treated in a day hospital run by nurses who had one-to-one contact with all the patients. They made all the recommendations as to how to treat the patients - the docs were only there to dispence meds. Maybe I was one of the lucky ones cos my nurse recommended CBT within a couple of weeks.
Anyway, you could have a word with your GP and explain the situation. Know it's not ideal but they could recommend someone different. Would have to go through a lot of the same stuff again - history etc but if you got a decent one that started working with you straight away, you'd know!
Have my fingers crossed and am sending good thoughts that things will get sorted for you.
Take care x0 -
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There's a quote from Robert Frost that a friend told me recently - "the best way out is always through." Keep fighting, just take it one minute at a time xxCall Me Jimmy wrote: »So so low... at the lowest point of my life. Not much fight left in me
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Been doing much better lately. I was right in thinking my couple of bad weeks weren't a relapse or whatever you call it back into my long depression spells. Just a bit of settling in period I think. But moods are back up, and I have been making a better effort to socialize and make friends.
Getting on well in my support group too. Lots of the girls suffer anxiety and depression, as well as eating disorders and body image disorders. It's oddly comforting to be around people who are like me, even though its sad that we all suffer. Some are worse off and some are better off than me (in my eyes) I was unsure about group work but I'm really starting to like it and open up, now that we have gotten to know each other. It's a nice setup that we have in that its the same group every week.
Can't say yet if its gonna have any actual physical significance on me, but I do feel better at sharing my issues at least.0 -
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