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Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 478 ✭✭Kaching


    angeline wrote: »
    Anyone here have experience with Cymbalta? My psych is thinking of changing me from Effexor to Cymbalta. Would appreciate any info.

    Lifesaver , shame it wears off too quick


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Had dangerous thoughts for the first time in a while today, it was weird. Nothing happened to bring them on, I was just on the train =/

    Hope everyone is doing okay x

    What's up/?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    i've had my 5th session with my counsellor. I had to say to her that I wanted more than just talking. i said at the beginning that I was there for CBT as opposed to just counselling. she still seemed kinda confused. she asked what was I looking for. I said practical help. she kinda asked for an example then. so i dunno that I have much confidence in it getting better. but i'm giving it another week anyway. can't afford any more than that though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    jammstarr wrote: »
    I don't mean to sound nosey but what kind of thoughts entered your head? Could you clear them from your head then?

    The reason I ask is just in case myself and others ever get similar thoughts what you were able to do might help.

    Hope you're ok now :)
    cloud493 wrote: »
    What's up/?

    Suicidal thoughts. Interspersed with what's the point/life's so sh1t/I'm fat and ugly and no one will ever love me etc etc etc. They stayed around for about an hour, but I started concentrating on the music I was listening to, and organising some of my notes which helped take my mind off them. Distracting yourself with repetitive tasks helps I find - you can focus on doing them instead of what's going through your head.

    When you're really down it can be impossible to distract yourself from the bad thoughts though. Or you might not want to. I know that sounds odd that you wouldn't want to get rid of the bad thoughts, but when you're down the self-pity can just be comfortable, for want of a better word.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Suicidal thoughts. Interspersed with what's the point/life's so sh1t/I'm fat and ugly and no one will ever love me etc etc etc. They stayed around for about an hour, but I started concentrating on the music I was listening to, and organising some of my notes which helped take my mind off them. Distracting yourself with repetitive tasks helps I find - you can focus on doing them instead of what's going through your head.

    When you're really down it can be impossible to distract yourself from the bad thoughts though. Or you might not want to. I know that sounds odd that you wouldn't want to get rid of the bad thoughts, but when you're down the self-pity can just be comfortable, for want of a better word.

    Aye I know what you mean. Easier to entertain the bad thoughts cos its so easy rather than try to think about positive things. Long as your feeling a bit better now.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    Hope things improve for you YTH.

    Had a decent day myself. Went to the gym for an hour. Definitely worked in giving me extra energy and felt less tired for the day having put in that exercise.

    Have something to work towards for the end of the week which I hope goes well.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    Suicidal thoughts. Interspersed with what's the point/life's so sh1t/I'm fat and ugly and no one will ever love me etc etc etc. When you're really down it can be impossible to distract yourself from the bad thoughts though. Or you might not want to. I know that sounds odd that you wouldn't want to get rid of the bad thoughts, but when you're down the self-pity can just be comfortable, for want of a better word.

    So true and well put too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    i've had my 5th session with my counsellor. I had to say to her that I wanted more than just talking. i said at the beginning that I was there for CBT as opposed to just counselling. she still seemed kinda confused. she asked what was I looking for. I said practical help. she kinda asked for an example then. so i dunno that I have much confidence in it getting better. but i'm giving it another week anyway. can't afford any more than that though.


    CBT is tough work - really makes you look at yourself. But is well worth it - if you can convince your psrink/gp/councellor that you need to go that way then be prepared for some horror. Sorry for sounding so dramatic but it is hard stuff. Spent nearly a year with weekly appointments with a CBT. Almost all ended with me crying. But the upside is that you look at yourself and your relationship with the world in a totally different way.

    I have no idea how much it will cost you - I was lucky enough to be on a medical card at the time and had a brilliant GP that pushed everything through for me. But if it means getting to the root of your problems then it's money well spent. When times get bad I still go back to some of the stuff we did together and it helps :)

    Anyway, if you can afford it I'd 100% recomend going to CBT. Stay positive and know that there is a light at the end of that long and very dark tunnel

    Take care x

    PS - if you do go to CBT, be prepared to do a hell of a lot of writing :D (You'll understand)


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    Suicidal thoughts. Interspersed with what's the point/life's so sh1t/I'm fat and ugly and no one will ever love me etc etc etc. They stayed around for about an hour, but I started concentrating on the music I was listening to, and organising some of my notes which helped take my mind off them. Distracting yourself with repetitive tasks helps I find - you can focus on doing them instead of what's going through your head.

    When you're really down it can be impossible to distract yourself from the bad thoughts though. Or you might not want to. I know that sounds odd that you wouldn't want to get rid of the bad thoughts, but when you're down the self-pity can just be comfortable, for want of a better word.
    jammstarr wrote: »
    So true and well put too.

    God, that is just my life typed out for me - horrible thoughts with no way out and eventually it becomes like a warm cuddly duvet. But you can get through it - it's feckin hard and painful but is doable. Hope you've spoken to professional help about it or a friend at least.

    Take care x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    FanadMan wrote: »
    CBT is tough work - really makes you look at yourself. But is well worth it - if you can convince your psrink/gp/councellor that you need to go that way then be prepared for some horror. Sorry for sounding so dramatic but it is hard stuff. Spent nearly a year with weekly appointments with a CBT. Almost all ended with me crying. But the upside is that you look at yourself and your relationship with the world in a totally different way.

    I have no idea how much it will cost you - I was lucky enough to be on a medical card at the time and had a brilliant GP that pushed everything through for me. But if it means getting to the root of your problems then it's money well spent. When times get bad I still go back to some of the stuff we did together and it helps :)

    Anyway, if you can afford it I'd 100% recomend going to CBT. Stay positive and know that there is a light at the end of that long and very dark tunnel

    Take care x

    PS - if you do go to CBT, be prepared to do a hell of a lot of writing :D (You'll understand)

    thanks for that :)

    the problem is I can't afford it. as is i'm paying €60 a week for this, and it's not CBT like I requested. i'm almost at the point where I don't believe they do it in Ireland. this woman is down as practicing CBT, but we haven't done anything but talk. and like I said she seemed confused as to what practical stuff she could give me to do. I set out on doing this because most things I read said they do 6-8 sessions for CBT, and I thought well I'll just dip into my savings. at this stage i'm €300 down, and no wiser. i'm on the waiting list with the HSE but i'm on that for exactly 11 months now, and i've been told it'll be months more.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    thanks for that :)

    the problem is I can't afford it. as is i'm paying €60 a week for this, and it's not CBT like I requested. i'm almost at the point where I don't believe they do it in Ireland. this woman is down as practicing CBT, but we haven't done anything but talk. and like I said she seemed confused as to what practical stuff she could give me to do. I set out on doing this because most things I read said they do 6-8 sessions for CBT, and I thought well I'll just dip into my savings. at this stage i'm €300 down, and no wiser. i'm on the waiting list with the HSE but i'm on that for exactly 11 months now, and i've been told it'll be months more.

    Might just be your councellor trying to drag money out of you (fingers crossed I'm wrong). I was lucky in that my CBT was just that - CBT only. Maybe yours was only a trainee - they have to go through a hell of a lot of work to be CBT qualified.

    It's not an exact science, an awful lot of they do is reacting to how and what you say. They are very smart at reading people - what you say and how you say it. And it's better if they are in contact with your psrink (they are good but not as good as your CBT)

    I was initally treated in a day hospital run by nurses who had one-to-one contact with all the patients. They made all the recommendations as to how to treat the patients - the docs were only there to dispence meds. Maybe I was one of the lucky ones cos my nurse recommended CBT within a couple of weeks.

    Anyway, you could have a word with your GP and explain the situation. Know it's not ideal but they could recommend someone different. Would have to go through a lot of the same stuff again - history etc but if you got a decent one that started working with you straight away, you'd know!

    Have my fingers crossed and am sending good thoughts that things will get sorted for you.

    Take care x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭Captain Graphite


    When you're really down it can be impossible to distract yourself from the bad thoughts though. Or you might not want to. I know that sounds odd that you wouldn't want to get rid of the bad thoughts, but when you're down the self-pity can just be comfortable, for want of a better word.

    Self pity is like crack to me. I constantly indulge in feeling bad for myself. If someone has worse problems than me (like about 90% of the world's population) I get resentful that I've lost my right to complain. :rolleyes:

    Hope you're feeling better today. *hugs*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Hope everyone's ok. Had a good day etc


  • Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭thrilledskinny


    downer cow wrote: »
    Another day of celebrations and mingling with people all part of development, I have myself cut off from the world outside of my home.

    Despite how much I know I am doing myself any favour whatsoever being this introverted I can't snap out of it.

    Is there anyone here that feels imprisioned in their mind today???

    I found being out of work only caused to isolate me in my own home and mind.

    I find I now isolate myself from others due to my aliment and shame at having same

    Used to be so confident, life has thought me differant/

    @Gremmilita... did you decide to stay in work, its better for u even if its hard to deal with people etc ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 385 ✭✭Mully_2011


    Started college 3 years ago dropped out in second year over depression

    Started new course in 2nd year in September doing grand until after Christmas and now I just feel like a train wreak don't want to talk to people don't want to do anything its happening all over agian tbh this semester is just a right off.

    being to counciller and doctor which helped for a bit but the smallest thing can set me off.

    any advice ??


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,792 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    @Thrilledskinny

    Yes i've stayed in work, free time is far more dangerous to me. Trying to figure out other things to do to occupy mind/time. Mood swings are ferocious at the minute. :mad:


  • Registered Users Posts: 11 crunchyogurt


    I just don't think that I'm cut out for this world,and I'm really geting tired of my lonely existence in it.Something is going to give sooner or later I think.

    I can completly relate to this. Everything seems to come so easy to everyone, I just cant get to grips with anything in life.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    So so low... at the lowest point of my life. Not much fight left in me :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 727 ✭✭✭Ms Happy


    I come home from work and just sit on the couch until it's time i can take a sleeping tablet and go to bed. sitting here since 7 doing nothing, i have so much to do but have 0 motivation or drive. TV is on, not really paying attention

    having a bad time in work, problems with manager and their "buddy" making me feel like crap all the time it's verging on bullying (thats another story)

    When i wake up i just want to go back asleep, when i'm want to sleep i have to take a tablet to help me.

    I have been to my doctor, i haven't been diagnosed with depression but i tick all the boxes.

    I feel like everything is falling around me, i'm the one that everyone goes to - the reliable one of you know what i mean. terrified of opening up to anyone as i feel like i'll open a floodgate and feel worse?

    I feel like a failure


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    So so low... at the lowest point of my life. Not much fight left in me :(
    There's a quote from Robert Frost that a friend told me recently - "the best way out is always through." Keep fighting, just take it one minute at a time xx


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,857 ✭✭✭indough


    never posted in here before, but ive been depressed pretty much my whole life. even as a kid i was completely withdrawn. im at the lowest ive ever been right now though. i was even contemplating putting myself into some sort of ward because i have been having dangerous thoughts lately and things came to a bit of a head tonight. feeling ever so slightly calmer now but all it will take is one thing to set me off again, i know it


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    indough wrote: »
    never posted in here before, but ive been depressed pretty much my whole life. even as a kid i was completely withdrawn. im at the lowest ive ever been right now though. i was even contemplating putting myself into some sort of ward because i have been having dangerous thoughts lately and things came to a bit of a head tonight. feeling ever so slightly calmer now but all it will take is one thing to set me off again, i know it

    That's almost exactly where I'm at, even though I think I'm past the stage of treatment. The thoughts I've been having make me think a ward is the only place alive I can be... it feels like it can't be real


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,857 ✭✭✭indough


    Yep, I did try medication but only for a few months, and to be honest the side effects were just too much for me. I even went through a few different varieties to be sure that it wasn't just me. I don't really know what my options are any more and I feel like I just don't have a future. Also feel a bit like it's my own fault because I did a lot of stuff I shouldnt have done years ago, messing with my brain and I feel like I messed it up even worse than it already was and that maybe it's just irrepairable. I feel like I should be living my days out in some sort of care because to be honest i am entirely not functional. i can barely be bothered to wash or even cook for myself. i mean i can do it but the motivation just is not there


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    indough wrote: »
    Yep, I did try medication but only for a few months, and to be honest the side effects were just too much for me. I even went through a few different varieties to be sure that it wasn't just me. I don't really know what my options are any more and I feel like I just don't have a future. Also feel a bit like it's my own fault because I did a lot of stuff I shouldnt have done years ago, messing with my brain and I feel like I messed it up even worse than it already was and that maybe it's just irrepairable. I feel like I should be living my days out in some sort of care because to be honest i am entirely not functional. i can barely be bothered to wash or even cook for myself. i mean i can do it but the motivation just is not there

    Jesus I could have written every word of that... exact same. I've been in denial for a while, working hard. trying harder. It's just something's gone.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    I found trying to explain this to certain people pretty tough as they simply refuse or cant get it. This particular person insists its to do with my thinking or attitude, which can be an aspect. In my case, its not.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,857 ✭✭✭indough


    i think for me it is my way of thinking thats wrong, but its who i am at this stage and its not going away. the drugs will just zombify me and thats no way to live. im also far too distrustful of psychiatry which is probably stupid but there you go. i feel bitter at the world.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    Been doing much better lately. I was right in thinking my couple of bad weeks weren't a relapse or whatever you call it back into my long depression spells. Just a bit of settling in period I think. But moods are back up, and I have been making a better effort to socialize and make friends. :)

    Getting on well in my support group too. Lots of the girls suffer anxiety and depression, as well as eating disorders and body image disorders. It's oddly comforting to be around people who are like me, even though its sad that we all suffer. Some are worse off and some are better off than me (in my eyes) I was unsure about group work but I'm really starting to like it and open up, now that we have gotten to know each other. It's a nice setup that we have in that its the same group every week.

    Can't say yet if its gonna have any actual physical significance on me, but I do feel better at sharing my issues at least.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Was doing well for a while up to tonight, but tonight I'm low and fairly miserable. Ah well, hopefully just a temporary blip.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    This sort of stuff, especially self injury, to me, is probably quite a hard thing to grasp from the outside looking in, so to speak, so I try when the situations arise, to be patient with people who 'don't get it' But I'm still that tiny bit.. annoyed.

    Some people just don't try to understand you know. 'Emo' 'go kill urself' 'omg i scratched myself im 13 and think im depressed' just... annoys me a bit. People like that, off the internet, that give the people with more... I want to say serious problems, the bad image.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 482 ✭✭Mont


    Where to begin? Im 35 now and have been depressed since mid-teens. Dropped out of college etc due to lack of confidence really and feeling unable to communicate with people. People can be so annoying yet I feel so lonely as well some of the time. I have even developed a stammer, its manageable but i still shudder at the thought of public speaking. I have always biten my nails since a child but the past few years I have to wear plasters in the evening to stop me from chewing my frigging fingers off. Then i only start rubbing my eyes with my knuckles.

    Serious problem, can totally associate with what people are saying here. I live alone in a city that i am not from and seem unable to make new friends due to me being a flipping a mental patient as i never go out anymore and i am really quiet in a group now bar when pissed. Been off sick from work for the past 6 weeks due to depression/anxiety but i must go back next week. Went to doctor last year for first time re depression and am now on 200mg of Lustral per day. Grand but get fcuk all sleep and hard to get a boner so from today i am gonna stop taking them as they are not really working for me when i weigh it all up. Anyone got experience of coming of the stuff? Its mainly due to sleep, without sleep you are screwed.

    Sometimes i wish there was a massive nuclear bomb dropped on us or something similar as then i wouldnt have to go through another day of nothingness. Dont want to commit suicide for sake of family left behind so please North Korea bomb this country. I have been a total recluse just going out the odd time. Dont bother answering the phone half the time or the front door - feel so trapped, alone, lonely and messed up. I drink around 5 cans a night for the past 10 years just so i can sleep so need to give that up as well. Just all seems so hard. When the dark cloud comes over your mind it gets so bleak.


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