Bipolar Disorder ask a question/discussion thread

Crumble Froo

heya great thread nesf

just thought i'd pop in here and have a wee browse. been suffering depression since i was about 12, but particularly since coming out of my shell a lot since school (about 17) have been generally a very upbeat happy bouncy (kinda odd and quirky) person. always been a sorta big part of my personality, that im so easily excitable and amused, and so energetic and all that...

nooooowwwww long story short, ive been suffering really really badly with depression recently, and for the first time, sought out antidepressants, because i was genuinely afraid of what i'd do to myself. first lot didnt work great, few days in, the side effects were just sending me over the edge with other issues i have (eating disorders... the drugs increased my anxiety and created knots of it in my stomach... total trigger feeling for me). second was one that was specifically not generally too bad for potentially sending people with bipolar high (why my doc suspected it at that point i forgot to ask actually)... but was on 1 pill a night, where the usual dosage is 3. was still experiencing extreme lows on this, so was doubled to 2... which sent me instantly nuts, really. took first double dose on wednesday... had my first intense experience of mania on friday... that really really high feeling, thoughts racing, connecting thing to thing to thing to thing, unable to sit still, feeling exceedingly giddy (took genuine effort not to be singing 'the wheels on the bus' out loud while sitting on the bus by myself)... but it was just so... im often happy bouncy giddy... but i felt genuinely out of control of myself that day.

that was the first one, lasted a couple of hours. was ok on saturday and sunday (though spent 6hrs getting a tattoo on saturday), but monday tuesday... so low. incredibly so. just... it's amazing how many thoughts i had about different ways to kill/harm myself, one in particular, somewhat memorably making me smile while chilling with a mate, as it was the most plausible one and ... yeah.

have told the doctor, who has taken me off the meds (go back down to one for wed, thur and fri night, and then no more), and that was on wednesday. she wants to send me to a specialist for an official bipolar diagnosis and to get on better meds than she can put me on.

thursday night now and ive just had my second kind of manic experience, going even higher than the last time, and lasting longer. felt so much more intense, out of control, and ... while feeling great, another part of me feeling quite scared, wondering how much this will change, or remain, or what.

so my plan now is to just get off the meds for a bit and see if i can stabilise without having to take bipolar meds. i dont like the sounds of the side effects, and i dont actually want to lose the happy bouncy odd side of myself that is just so much a part of me at the same time though, i could do without committing suicide any time soon. and the depression is threatening to make that a reality at the moment. so if i cant get a handle on that any time soon, then i really only have so many options.

so fingers crossed i can get a handle on the depression


sorry, just had to get some of htat out, i think. still trying to get my head around the diagnosis and implications and options now.

Crumble Froo

and from the manic thing last night, about midnight-ish, it faded down,a nd then went low... very very low.

was a half hour late for work this morning, and when i did get there, i burst into tears because the notebook for the petty cash wasnt in the box where it belonged (it was sitting beside the box), and then almost had a panic attack when the printer started printing. boss sent me home.

i dont feel that seeing if i stabilise now that im off the antidepressants is that amazing an idea any more... i dont know how long i can last like this, the highs seem to be getting higher, and the lows are just getting lower. i can't function, ive only worked one day this week and i really am a suicide risk when the lows take me.

:S

pookie82

Hi nesf. Great thread, makes for fascinating reading. I don't suffer from depression but my OH of over three years is bi-polar. He was really really ill when we first met (I didn't realise how much until I look back now at emails I wrote about it at the time) but time, patience and the right medication means that he now lives a pretty stable life, with the odd bout of depression, a few manic stages a year, and mostly a fairly settled in between (though he is highly talented, focussed and driven, sometimes to the extent that I don't know if it's his illness or HIM, and his sleep can tend to be all over the place - going to bed at 7 in the morning and waking for a "day's work" at four in the afternoon). He's lucky enough to be in a creative profession which allows him to do this.

You mentioned earlier that you have a wife who helps you with your finances and controlling your expenditure (amongst other things, I'm sure). I'm just wondering if you were ill when you guys met, how she copes with it, if she is ever "cruel to be kind" or harsh with you, whether you can ever be sure of your feelings for her or if your feelings towards her change with your moods.

Maybe you aren't comfortable with or in a position to answer these questions, if so, fair enough. I'm just coming from the perspective of someone who lives with the illness but doesn't have it, which can be perhaps sometimes as difficult.

Thanks.

nesf

pookie82 wrote: »

You mentioned earlier that you have a wife who helps you with your finances and controlling your expenditure (amongst other things, I'm sure). I'm just wondering if you were ill when you guys met, how she copes with it, if she is ever "cruel to be kind" or harsh with you, whether you can ever be sure of your feelings for her or if your feelings towards her change with your moods.

She's fairly detached as a person and is very good at ignoring my moods when I'm withdrawn and non-responsive when depressed. I was ill when we met but not that bad (was on meds and was responding well to them etc). She isn't harsh with me, more blunt about stuff. The intensity of my feelings change with mood but not the feelings themselves. I love her regardless of whether I'm depressed or manic but how strongly I feel said love does change from one to the other.

Flamed Diving

So, I thought I would update. My symptoms have been poking their head up more and more lately, more on the manic side, as usual. This is making work exceedingly difficult because although I have a ****load of energy and drive, I cannot stay focused on anything for more than a few minutes. I have the attention span of a 2-year old!

PIOP

Recently diagnosed with bipolar after years of struggling with it. Currently heading into a low phase, finding it more and more difficult to get out of bed on time, feeling tired and irritable, and feeling very low indeed. Current motivation levels are very low - finding myself just browsing the web instead of working, and falling asleep at my desk.

Recently came off my manic meds (zyprexa) because of all of the side effects I was having. Did this with doctor advice and consent, I should say. Went into a bit of uncontrolled mania for a few days then, but managed to restrain myself just a little and keep from going too far off the edge.

For the last 2 days, I've been having very mixed days, as I sometimes do in between phases. I get all the anxiousness and irritability, as well as restlessness that signify a manic phase coming on, coupled with such low motivation and a physical inability to do anything about the restlessness. I get anxious about my messy room, to the point where I'm freaking out, but I can't move from my bed or my floor to clean it.

It seems that these days are kinda decider days for me. Depending on how they go, I'll either pop out of it in manic, or heading low. And I guess, this time, I'm heading low.

Sorry if this is a bit scattered, it's hard to gather my thoughts today.

bob50

PIOP wrote: »

Recently diagnosed with bipolar after years of struggling with it. Currently heading into a low phase, finding it more and more difficult to get out of bed on time, feeling tired and irritable, and feeling very low indeed. Current motivation levels are very low - finding myself just browsing the web instead of working, and falling asleep at my desk.

Recently came off my manic meds (zyprexa) because of all of the side effects I was having. Did this with doctor advice and consent, I should say. Went into a bit of uncontrolled mania for a few days then, but managed to restrain myself just a little and keep from going too far off the edge.

For the last 2 days, I've been having very mixed days, as I sometimes do in between phases. I get all the anxiousness and irritability, as well as restlessness that signify a manic phase coming on, coupled with such low motivation and a physical inability to do anything about the restlessness. I get anxious about my messy room, to the point where I'm freaking out, but I can't move from my bed or my floor to clean it.

It seems that these days are kinda decider days for me. Depending on how they go, I'll either pop out of it in manic, or heading low. And I guess, this time, I'm heading low.

Sorry if this is a bit scattered, it's hard to gather my thoughts today.

Seen that you came off zyprexia Did you doc give you another drug to replace the zyprexia

PIOP

Hi,

I'm not on anything else yet, as I haven't seen my doctor. I spoke to him over the phone about the side effects that I was having, and he told me to just come off them, which I have done. I've managed to keep a bit of a lid on the mania the last few weeks, and hope that I can do the same until I see him again. Then, maybe, we'll be able to find a drug that helps and doesn't cripple me with side effects.

I'm sure zyprexa works well for loads of people, but unfortunately, all the side effects that I was having (physical changes, massive bloating, etc.) were affecting my self image so badly that my anxiety levels were through the roof and I was hating myself, thus neatly negating any positive effects the drugs might have had. For me, the last straw was when I was so sore that I couldn't be touched. Too many negatives outweighed the positives for me.

flyswatter

Sorry if this has been asked before but having been diagnosed with schizophrenia this question interests me.

Are there similarities between bipolar and psychotic depression?

nesf

flyswatter wrote: »

Sorry if this has been asked before but having been diagnosed with schizophrenia this question interests me.

Are there similarities between bipolar and psychotic depression?

Yes. In that psychosis and depression can be a part of bipolar. The difference is that psychosis is normally (but not always) during manias moreso than during depressions with bipolar but people with bipolar can suffer from psychosis during depressions.

Many of the symptoms (negative and positive) of schizophrenia can be present in bipolar, but they are "mood congruent" (i.e. a product of the mood state of the individual rather than always present as they would be with schizophrenia (or at least present regardless of mood state).

nesf

PIOP wrote: »

Hi,

I'm not on anything else yet, as I haven't seen my doctor. I spoke to him over the phone about the side effects that I was having, and he told me to just come off them, which I have done. I've managed to keep a bit of a lid on the mania the last few weeks, and hope that I can do the same until I see him again. Then, maybe, we'll be able to find a drug that helps and doesn't cripple me with side effects.

I'm sure zyprexa works well for loads of people, but unfortunately, all the side effects that I was having (physical changes, massive bloating, etc.) were affecting my self image so badly that my anxiety levels were through the roof and I was hating myself, thus neatly negating any positive effects the drugs might have had. For me, the last straw was when I was so sore that I couldn't be touched. Too many negatives outweighed the positives for me.

I had a similar experience on zyprexa. I put on over 30 pounds in just under 3 months and had reached a weight that I'd never been close to in my adult life. Like you I was brought off the drug once its side effects became apparent.

Flamed Diving

It should be noted that the side effects of drugs are not constant across all patients. nesf and I have been on similar drugs, but with sometimes quite different effects.

LegacyUser

My friend has bi-polar.

She has had many manic episodes over the last 15 years and I've always been there for her.

The last time though pushed my patience to the limit where I thought "hang on - why am I going through this again?"

Turns out she'd stopped taking her medication. She said it was because she couldn't afford it. Now, this is someone who never has an issue dropping 20 quid on breakfast, will get takeaways a couple of time a week, takeaway lunch every day and pints once or twice a week.

Add onto that a couple of weekends away etc.... so the money just seemed like an excuse. She earns a great salary.

So a relation of hers has offered to help out and pay for the medication - last week she spent about €300 on a present for herself. It's like she just doesn't want to take the pills - they are the best ones she's been on and she says she doesn't get side effects from them.

I am really annoyed with her for not telling us that she'd come off her medication as it must be nearly 10 times she's gone manic and I think she just doesn't realise the pain she causes me and her family (that may sound a bit selfish but it's very physically and mentally demanding being with her/watching she doesn't do anything dangerous.

What's more, had she told us she was off them - we'd have been able to spot the signs sooner as we'd have been looking out for them.

After each time it happens she never opens up about it - the way I see it is that she needs to sort out a plan of action if it happens but she just seems to not want to talk about it when she's back to normal... which leaves myself and her family at a loss as to what to do.

I'm just looking for a bit of advice really - is it a matter of just saying "look, we all know this problem may re-occur - it's up to you to take responsibility" (there are kids involved) and forcing her to talk about it.

I would like to brace the subject but I don't want to upset her - the thing is, I think it should be her coming to us saying something along the lines of "look guys, these are the signs you should be looking out for.... if I start doing X and Y, can you make sure that I get to my psychiatrist and make sure the folks look after my kids for a few days".

Because otherwise we just end up dealing with it - she goes off on one for a few days/a week and comes out the other end and brushes it off with a "thanks" in a text.

i think now that she just thinks "ah sure they'll catch it in the early stages and sort me out and it'll be fine" without realising that it's extremely hard to have to put up with someone thinking they're God or thinking they can tell the future or being physically threatening.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I've seen her committed a few times and have borne the brunt of it and I just think that she should kind of deal with it in a better way.

Any advice?

nesf

Flamed Diving wrote: »

It should be noted that the side effects of drugs are not constant across all patients. nesf and I have been on similar drugs, but with sometimes quite different effects.

Indeed. Both of us have been on Epilim (sodium valproate) at different times. With FD, it was relatively side effect free, with me it caused severe nausea and me throwing up each morning. Versus a sister drug Trileptal and me where I've no side effects other than sedation (which is welcome since I take it before bed each night).

Individual reactions to drug vary hugely person to person. People should definitely not be slow to take a drug because someone they've read about has had a bad reaction to it. People post up stories online when they have bad reactions to drugs, they tend not to when they don't have bad reactions, so you get a very biased view when looking up drugs online and it can seem like there is a far higher adverse reaction rate than what is actually the case.

Flamed Diving

zoogoogaloo wrote: »

My friend has bi-polar.

She has had many manic episodes over the last 15 years and I've always been there for her.

The last time though pushed my patience to the limit where I thought "hang on - why am I going through this again?"

Turns out she'd stopped taking her medication. She said it was because she couldn't afford it. Now, this is someone who never has an issue dropping 20 quid on breakfast, will get takeaways a couple of time a week, takeaway lunch every day and pints once or twice a week.

Add onto that a couple of weekends away etc.... so the money just seemed like an excuse. She earns a great salary.

So a relation of hers has offered to help out and pay for the medication - last week she spent about €300 on a present for herself. It's like she just doesn't want to take the pills - they are the best ones she's been on and she says she doesn't get side effects from them.

I am really annoyed with her for not telling us that she'd come off her medication as it must be nearly 10 times she's gone manic and I think she just doesn't realise the pain she causes me and her family (that may sound a bit selfish but it's very physically and mentally demanding being with her/watching she doesn't do anything dangerous.

What's more, had she told us she was off them - we'd have been able to spot the signs sooner as we'd have been looking out for them.

After each time it happens she never opens up about it - the way I see it is that she needs to sort out a plan of action if it happens but she just seems to not want to talk about it when she's back to normal... which leaves myself and her family at a loss as to what to do.

I'm just looking for a bit of advice really - is it a matter of just saying "look, we all know this problem may re-occur - it's up to you to take responsibility" (there are kids involved) and forcing her to talk about it.

I would like to brace the subject but I don't want to upset her - the thing is, I think it should be her coming to us saying something along the lines of "look guys, these are the signs you should be looking out for.... if I start doing X and Y, can you make sure that I get to my psychiatrist and make sure the folks look after my kids for a few days".

Because otherwise we just end up dealing with it - she goes off on one for a few days/a week and comes out the other end and brushes it off with a "thanks" in a text.

i think now that she just thinks "ah sure they'll catch it in the early stages and sort me out and it'll be fine" without realising that it's extremely hard to have to put up with someone thinking they're God or thinking they can tell the future or being physically threatening.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I've seen her committed a few times and have borne the brunt of it and I just think that she should kind of deal with it in a better way.

Any advice?

That's a tough one, it seems that you and her family/friends have done everything you can for her, but it sounds like some part of her either fails to accept her illness or believes that it is "part of her personality" and to suppress it would to deny her "spontaneous, edgy self". Perhaps she actually likes her manic highs, irrespective of the damage they cause to her loved ones. Egocentricity is part and parcel of Bi-polar Disorder, or to put it more bluntly, she is spending so much time thinking about herself she cannot even begin to think about other peoples feelings. While I never reached the God/psychic heights of mania (I came damn close), I can definitely understand what it is like to be literally incapable of considering other peoples feelings when manic. In my experience, the only thing that made me seek change was when people began to turn away from me, even my own parents. It was then that I realised that I had to help myself by going to both a psychiatrist and counselling to work this out. I can't sit here and suggest that you ditch your friend, but in my case, the fact that people kept forgiving me and letting me off only excused my behaviour and led me to believe that I really did nothing wrong and that it was probably their fault to begin with. You would be amazed what the Bipolar mind can rationalise. Anyway, that's all I have except a book recommendation, written for both patients and friends/family alike. I read about your friend in this book, if you get me:


http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Survival-Guide-Family/dp/1572305258

LegacyUser

Flamed Diving wrote: »

That's a tough one, it seems that you and her family/friends have done everything you can for her, but it sounds like some part of her either fails to accept her illness or believes that it is "part of her personality" and to suppress it would to deny her "spontaneous, edgy self". Perhaps she actually likes her manic highs, irrespective of the damage they cause to her loved ones. Egocentricity is part and parcel of Bi-polar Disorder, or to put it more bluntly, she is spending so much time thinking about herself she cannot even begin to think about other peoples feelings. While I never reached the God/psychic heights of mania (I came damn close), I can definitely understand what it is like to be literally incapable of considering other peoples feelings when manic. In my experience, the only thing that made me seek change was when people began to turn away from me, even my own parents. It was then that I realised that I had to help myself by going to both a psychiatrist and counselling to work this out. I can't sit here and suggest that you ditch your friend, but in my case, the fact that people kept forgiving me and letting me off only excused my behaviour and led me to believe that I really did nothing wrong and that it was probably their fault to begin with. You would be amazed what the Bipolar mind can rationalise. Anyway, that's all I have except a book recommendation, written for both patients and friends/family alike. I read about your friend in this book, if you get me:


http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Survival-Guide-Family/dp/1572305258

Thanks for that - she has a decent pscyhiatrist but has never gone down the counselling route which I think she'd benefit from. I would have thought that she has nearly lost her kids would be warning enough but no.

I'll pick up a copy of that book.

hitlersson666

Is it normal to have a short manic episode and then a depressive one? I know im mentally ill but i have to wail till im 16 so I can get help but i do get little ''fits'' where I would say/do very odd things e.g lick shoes

Flamed Diving

hitlersson666 wrote: »

Is it normal to have a short manic episode and then a depressive one? I know im mentally ill but i have to wail till im 16 so I can get help but i do get little ''fits'' where I would say/do very odd things e.g lick shoes

Well, only a psychiatrist could give you a correct diagnosis and you don't have to be 16 to get one. To answer your question, there is something called "rapid cycling bipolar disorder", which I have, but it doesn't make me lick shoes...

flyswatter

Hitlersson, as Flamed Diving said you don't need to be 16 to get a diagnosis from your doctor and counselling.
However, from my expreience I had to wait till I was 18 to enter a particular psychiatric unit. Seems a bit ridiculous, but I'm not sure if that proviso has changed since.

nesf

flyswatter wrote: »

Seems a bit ridiculous, but I'm not sure if that proviso has changed since.

The idea behind it, I believe, was that exposing young teenagers to severely mentally ill adults would not be a positive or good experience for the teenager due to potentially seeing some very distressing behaviour.

Of course, it's feck all good to stop under 18s going into psych wards if there isn't an alternative for them to attend in their area.

hitlersson666

I don't want my parents to know for a number of reasons

Flamed Diving

But surely there are alternatives to going to a ward. Have you gone to the school nurse?

TheCardHolder

Hi guys,

Just wondering what the steps would be to test for bi-Polar?would i just contact my regular gp?

sam34

speak to your gp, and he/she can take it further from there if neceaasry.

there is no one test for it, it depends on history and clinical presentation

PIOP

nesf wrote: »

Indeed. Both of us have been on Epilim (sodium valproate) at different times. With FD, it was relatively side effect free, with me it caused severe nausea and me throwing up each morning. Versus a sister drug Trileptal and me where I've no side effects other than sedation (which is welcome since I take it before bed each night).

Individual reactions to drug vary hugely person to person. People should definitely not be slow to take a drug because someone they've read about has had a bad reaction to it. People post up stories online when they have bad reactions to drugs, they tend not to when they don't have bad reactions, so you get a very biased view when looking up drugs online and it can seem like there is a far higher adverse reaction rate than what is actually the case.

Couldn't agree more. No one should take my bad drug experience as a reason not to try them. One of the drugs that I'm on has a similarly huge side effect list, but I have absolutely none of them, and they have enabled me to function better in the past 6 months than I have managed in my whole life.

It's unfortunate that I had a bad experience with them, but it won't stop me from trying to find the right drug combo for me.

Sorry to hear you also had a bad experience nesf.

pickarooney

Excellent thread, kudos on the honest exposure.

Are there generally upsides to manic depression, e.g. enhanced creativity or deeper understanding of complicated subjects, or is this a popular misconception?

Do you find that, when on medication, a part of the real you is missing or do you find yourself constantly wonder which is the real you?

Flamed Diving

pickarooney wrote: »

Are there generally upsides to manic depression, e.g. enhanced creativity or deeper understanding of complicated subjects, or is this a popular misconception?

Yeah, there are upsides, I guess. But manias are usually preceded by depressions, so anything could be viewed as an upside after that! Secondly, I sometimes feel more creative and that my mind is capable of understanding more complex issues, but I now know that mania comes with delusions of grandeur. I would attribute it to the latter, as it is unlikely that your brain suddenly becomes super-intelligent. However, your mind does become faster, and your energy levels hugely increase, so when the combination is right, you can get super-human levels of mental work done. But when your brain goes too fast, you can't get anything done.

pickarooney wrote: »

Do you find that, when on medication, a part of the real you is missing or do you find yourself constantly wonder which is the real you?

Which is the real you? Think about it.

PIOP

When I first started down the road of getting treatment and going on medication, I did struggle with the idea that I'd be losing a part of me, or that I wouldn't really be me if I was medicated all the time. My doctor gave me a lot of advice about it, explaining that it wouldn't change who I was, per se, but that it would help me to be the person I am without being ruled by the disease.

I do wonder sometimes if I've lost a little bit of myself, but I don't think I could go back to a life without medication, because I lost so much more of myself then because of the way I behaved - taking on too many tasks in manic phases, and then beating myself up for failures in depressed phases, driving friends away with wild mood swings that they couldn't deal with, ruining nights out by wandering off from friends and refusing to answer my phone, leaving them freaking out and searching for me, etc. I didn't like who I was, because who I was was often very difficult to deal with, and not the person that I want to be.

I still cycle between manic and depressed, even on the meds, although they seem to help me to moderate my highs and lows, so that I don't soar quite so high, or dip quite so low. The manic phases can sometimes feel quite good, to be honest. There's nothing quite like being absolutely certain that you are right, that you are the best at what you are doing, that no one can touch you. There's also a lot of fun to be had when you're slightly giddy and giggly. Everyone wants to be your friend because you're charismatic and witty, and you have boundless energy.

The flip side, for me, meant that I couldn't sleep, that my spending was out of control, that I'd fly into rages at friends, family, and myself. That I'd physically hurt myself while raging about things that were largely inconsequential. I'd pick fights just to have the fight (not physical, but verbal arguments). Once I was properly in the swing of things, there would be no stopping me, and it wasn't pleasant. I was a nightmare to be around.

And then, of course, coming off the mania was awful. I'd feel myself slipping, and the feeling of loss and the uncertainty creeping back in would just push me further down into a depression. I'd think about the things I'd done while manic (if I remembered them) and worry about them, stress about them, and use them to beat myself up and make myself feel worse. For me, coming down off mania is much like coming down off a drug induced high, I would imagine (have never had a drug induced high, so I'm just guessing). It's always accompanied by a profound sense of loss.

These days, the mania is more controlled. I often still get quite giddy, and my anxiety levels definitely rise. I find it more difficult to let things go, and I do become much more productive. I fight against the irrational spending, and sometimes win. I can't always keep a handle on it, but I am able to do so sometimes and that is a huge thing. The depressions are not as bad as they were. I still do have periods where I am undeniably down, but I can kind of function, I can get to work (and sometimes accomplish something while there), I can get out of bed (although I struggle with excessive sleepiness throughout the day).

I think that people are seeing more of the real me now than they were before. Now I can be part of a group, be pleasant company, be a nice person. Before, it was a coin-toss every day to see whether people would want to be around me at all. I'm more like the real me now than I was before.

bob50

hi everyone

ive suffered with different levels of depression for the last 15 years

i have been on prozac seroxat cipramil not all together for the last ten years im now taking lexapro 20mg as prescribed by gp

my question is would i be better off in going into to st patricks hospital in dublin for 2/3 weeks to get intense treament with their pyschs councellors etc and maybe then i wouldnt have to stay on anti depressants for rest of my life

The Gp says there would be no need for me to go in to this hospital as they only have psychiarsts which only look at treating you with drugs

thanks in advance for any help offered

Flamed Diving

bob50 wrote: »

hi everyone

ive suffered with different levels of depression for the last 15 years

i have been on prozac seroxat cipramil not all together for the last ten years im now taking lexapro 20mg as prescribed by gp

my question is would i be better off in going into to st patricks hospital in dublin for 2/3 weeks to get intense treament with their pyschs councellors etc and maybe then i wouldnt have to stay on anti depressants for rest of my life

The Gp says there would be no need for me to go in to this hospital as they only have psychiarsts which only look at treating you with drugs

thanks in advance for any help offered

If I am reading you correctly, you are only seeing your GP and not a psychiatrist of any kind? If that is the case, my advice would be to see a psychiatrist because GPs know very little about the subject.

If your GP won't refer you to one, go to a different GP, or go private.

If I am wrong about the above, then I don't really know what advice to give. From the literature I have been reading would suggest that the ideal thing to do is not rely on medication alone but to complement them with counselling/psychotherapy. Talk to your GP about this, maybe.