The Pregnant Womans Moan Thread.

73trix

Isolt wrote: »

Big Moan Alert: Everything hurts, fingers, toes etc, all from the fluid and swelling. My pelvis has become very sore, even climbing over the bath to have a shower causes me pain now. Still horribly disappointed that the induction couldn't go ahead this week. My OH is heading back to work Sunday evening so crossing everything that baby doesn't make a surprise appearance then because he could miss it. Back in Holles St today for more monitoring, such an exhausting load of crap planning my week around hospital appointments. Sick of it all now!

The waiting is hard alright. We will get there v soon though. What's your deadline date? Have been told I won't be let go past Oct 4. So a week tomo at the very latest.

mirrorwall14

I suppose I wasn't expecting it this early bobskii, and I only wore them from 630-10! Ah well, the swellings down a lot today so just have to wait out the aching

Isolt

73trix wrote: »

The waiting is hard alright. We will get there v soon though. What's your deadline date? Have been told I won't be let go past Oct 4. So a week tomo at the very latest.

I was told I was not to exceed 40 weeks. Which is tomorrow. I was meant to be induced on Tuesday gone but they said with baby's head so high that induction is far too risky. So that's why I'm scanned every few days and am being reviewed again on Tuesday at 40 + 3. I had mentally prepared myself that it'd all be over by now. But such is life, once baby arrives safely! We're not too far from the finish line now though. How are you feeling?

73trix

I am grand now thanks. My due date was yesterday but I won't be left go the full 10-12 days over. No more than 8/9. It must be v difficult when you had a timeframe in mind. I have always figured anything up to +10days over although a few weeks ago thought I was going to go early. My consultant said statistically 80% go between 3 and 7 days over naturally.

Isolt

73trix wrote: »

I am grand now thanks. My due date was yesterday but I won't be left go the full 10-12 days over. No more than 8/9. It must be v difficult when you had a timeframe in mind. I have always figured anything up to +10days over although a few weeks ago thought I was going to go early. My consultant said statistically 80% go between 3 and 7 days over naturally.

Wow 80% is huge! I read yesterday that only 5% of women deliver before or on their due date. I just thought I'd have well delivered by now, especially since they've been mentioning induction since 37 weeks. Ah well, at least we know now that the end can't be anymore than two weeks away!!

spottybananas

Not a physical moan for today (thank God!) but more an emotional one. We were planning on telling my parents this evening as we're calling to see them after work to pick up something. I was dreading telling them because I just feel my mum won't be happy, she's not your average mammy who wants grandchildren and thinks babies are great, but over the few weeks of keeping it to ourselves I convinced myself it wouldn't be too bad. She just called me now and had a bit of a rant about a cousin of mine who just had a baby and how difficult it is for her now juggling work and the baby, doesn't know how she gets it done at all and why would anyone do that to themselves She seems to completely forget she juggled 2-3 jobs herself with parenting and did a great job.

I was almost hoping it was going to be a positive experience to tell her (eternal optimist, completely ignoring past experiences here), but now I'm dreading it again, and I'm thinking of just leaving it another month, when we'll see them after the 12 week scan. But at the same time I don't like this feeling of keeping something from them.

angeldelight

Did you tell your mam in the end spottyb? My mam is very non-maternal but she was still excited when we told her

spottybananas

angeldelight wrote: »

Did you tell your mam in the end spottyb? My mam is very non-maternal but she was still excited when we told her

No, we didn't tell her. We'll see her again over the weekend I think, but right now I don't think I will tell her then. I'm just not able for the onslaught of "reasons we're stupid to do this" which I know we'll get.

angeldelight

spottybananas wrote: »

No, we didn't tell her. We'll see her again over the weekend I think, but right now I don't think I will tell her then. I'm just not able for the onslaught of "reasons we're stupid to do this" which I know we'll get.

That's fair enough - hopefully she surprises you

spottybananas

angeldelight wrote: »

That's fair enough - hopefully she surprises you

That's what my husband says "you never know she might surprise us", but I'll stick with expecting a negative reaction, that way I won't be disappointed no matter what happens!

Penny Dreadful

spottybananas wrote: »

That's what my husband says "you never know she might surprise us", but I'll stick with expecting a negative reaction, that way I won't be disappointed no matter what happens!

While I appreciate it is difficult to keep news like this quiet given the reaction you're expecting from your mother is might genuinely be best to wait until you've had your 12 week scan.
Then you'll have had the reassurance and lovely moment of seeing your baby on screen, have a picture and be assured (in so far as is possible at this stage) that all is well.
If your mother starts making negative comments or suggestions at least you will have both the lovely memory of the first scan and the assurance of the doctor that you and your baby are progressing as normal.
It might also provoke a different reaction from her if she sees the scan photograph.

spottybananas

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

While I appreciate it is difficult to keep news like this quiet given the reaction you're expecting from your mother is might genuinely be best to wait until you've had your 12 week scan.
Then you'll have had the reassurance and lovely moment of seeing your baby on screen, have a picture and be assured (in so far as is possible at this stage) that all is well.
If your mother starts making negative comments or suggestions at least you will have both the lovely memory of the first scan and the assurance of the doctor that you and your baby are progressing as normal.
It might also provoke a different reaction from her if she sees the scan photograph.

Thanks for your reply Penny, hope all is well with you and baby! We actually already had a scan at 8 weeks, so that was our first scan. Granted it wasn't a baby more of a blob but we heard the heartbeat and all that (hoping it's still there next week at 12 week scan!). I did want to wait until after it if possible seeing as we got this far without telling them, but I won't see them for about 2 weeks after the 12 week scan, and for various reasons the sooner I could tell my parents the better, so we can adjust family plans that have been made for next year.

I really appreciate your advice, I think I have decided to just tell her and get it over with, either tonight or tomorrow, I had said I'd call by over the weekend. Better to have it done and dealt with than to be worrying about it every day like I currently am!

Blingy

spottybananas wrote: »

Thanks for your reply Penny, hope all is well with you and baby! We actually already had a scan at 8 weeks, so that was our first scan. Granted it wasn't a baby more of a blob but we heard the heartbeat and all that (hoping it's still there next week at 12 week scan!). I did want to wait until after it if possible seeing as we got this far without telling them, but I won't see them for about 2 weeks after the 12 week scan, and for various reasons the sooner I could tell my parents the better, so we can adjust family plans that have been made for next year.

I really appreciate your advice, I think I have decided to just tell her and get it over with, either tonight or tomorrow, I had said I'd call by over the weekend. Better to have it done and dealt with than to be worrying about it every day like I currently am!

Best of luck spottybananas I hope her reaction will surprise you and if not just remember it's what you and your partner think that matters not anyone else (including family). Good luck.

spottybananas

Thanks Blingy! I will report back after it You'd swear I was 15, not 30 and married!

73trix

Re. Attitudes of some midwives.

Now to be fair most are gems and every profession has a couple of dodgy members but while in hospital I really struggled with 2 especially who I found cold, dismissive and patronising. As a brand new mam, after a section and all that goes with it and new to breastfeeding, the first few days in hospital have been v tough. This is without the bad attitude of a couple of nurses who made me feel stupid and inadequate that I dreaded ringing the bell. I had had a pretty good day with my baby today but tonite was really tough - could not settle him and thus could not get him to latch on and thus he was in a state. I had done so much in and out of the bed, picking him up in dif positions to try wind, cuddle, checked nappy, changed him from being on my bed to my lap to my shoulder to walking the corridor that I hurt my back with all the manoeuvrings. In the end I called the bell and asked the MW for assistance. She was so cold and asked the obvious - have you fed him, can you get him latched on. I explained that i had been trying everything for 2 hrs and now my back was sore and I needed her to settle him so I could get ready to feed and hoping he'd be calm. She ignored my sore back and just said you need to latch him on immediately when he indicates he is hungry and not let him get upset. Like I didn't know that. She helped me get him feeding but as she walked away said the same thing again to "avoid this problem again". Not a bit supportive but as if pissed off at being disturbed . I was tearful aswell but this was ignored. I have avoided the bell to seek pain relief as cannot deal with her type again tonite. Thank god I get discharged n the morning. Most staff v have been fab but it only takes one or 2 like her to feel really undermined.

Dolbert

Can't fupping sleep at all these days Mention it anyone with kids and get 'You think it's bad now, wait til you have a newborn hweh hweh hweh!' Yeah thanks for that.

spottybananas

Dolbert wrote: »

Can't fupping sleep at all these days Mention it anyone with kids and get 'You think it's bad now, wait til you have a newborn hweh hweh hweh!' Yeah thanks for that.

Dolbert my own husband said that it's handy that my sleep is already being ruined by dreams, loo trips and random wakings, it is preparing me for when "you" have to get up at night. Note the lack of "we" there!

Whispered

Ah 73trix I hope you're feeling a bit better now. it is amazing how one person can turn an otherwise ok experience into a nightmare.

Merkin

Dolbert wrote: »

Can't fupping sleep at all these days Mention it anyone with kids and get 'You think it's bad now, wait til you have a newborn hweh hweh hweh!' Yeah thanks for that.

That's such rubbish, don't listen to them. Newborns sleep a lot and unless you've got a particularly cranky baby they won't keep you awake at night either. Yes you will have night feeds etc but it's not like one feed takes eight hours! You simply go back to sleep when they do! I had difficulty sleeping intermittently in my pregnancy, particularly towards the end, but once you have your little one all those loo trips and the inability to turn in bed without military planning are things of the past so just ignore the whiners! You'll get better quality sleep and rest when your baby arrives.

Neyite

Dolbert wrote: »

Can't fupping sleep at all these days Mention it anyone with kids and get 'You think it's bad now, wait til you have a newborn hweh hweh hweh!' Yeah thanks for that.

I got more sleep in the newborn stages than I did/do in the toddler years.

At least when I was on maternity leave I could nap a lot, now I have to stay awake because I'm back at work and for some reason they frown on that sort of thing. While I didnt get the 12hr stretches of my teens, I still got my sleeps in, and felt well rested.

Some people are lucky and get great sleeper babies, some dont. I dislike the way that its percieved to be the way you parent that determines how a baby sleeps or not, when its down to babies being individual beings with their own preferences and traits.

angeldelight

Neyite wrote: »

I got more sleep in the newborn stages than I did/do in the toddler years.

At least when I was on maternity leave I could nap a lot, now I have to stay awake because I'm back at work and for some reason they frown on that sort of thing. While I didnt get the 12hr stretches of my teens, I still got my sleeps in, and felt well rested.

Some people are lucky and get great sleeper babies, some dont. I dislike the way that its percieved to be the way you parent that determines how a baby sleeps or not, when its down to babies being individual beings with their own preferences and traits.

No no no if your baby isn't a sleeper its your fault because you 'spoiled' them by comforting them when they cried as newborns

Neyite

angeldelight wrote: »

No no no if your baby isn't a sleeper its your fault because you 'spoiled' them by comforting them when they cried as newborns

Oh, I've had that implied.:mad: By someone also on their first baby who did cry-it-out for hours over several nights. Their child doesnt cry out for them now at night, even when sick. And they seem proud of that fact. I had the strictest parents out of all my peers growing up and we still got a cuddle if we woke up in the night sick or scared.

Whispered

Merkin, I think I love you :pac:

Seriously question though, you know the way you are supposed to lie on your left as much as possible, would there be a reason I'm much more comfortable on my right? It seems the baby has settled to that side of me if that makes sense and there is a lot less "pull" on my stomach if I lie on that side. Less hip pain too.

Although I was lying on the couch on my left side last night watching TV and one of the dogs ended up snuggling under the bump. I was SOOOOO comfy.

EDIT: Neyite, I read an article recently that said the levels of cortisol in a baby who is left to cry it out, are still just as high even when not crying. Suggesting they don't self soothe, they just learn there is no point crying out for you.

loubian

Whispered wrote: »

EDIT: Neyite, I read an article recently that said the levels of cortisol in a baby who is left to cry it out, are still just as high even when not crying. Suggesting they don't self soothe, they just learn there is no point crying out for you.

That is so sad

indigo twist

Whispered wrote: »

Seriously question though, you know the way you are supposed to lie on your left as much as possible, would there be a reason I'm much more comfortable on my right? It seems the baby has settled to that side of me if that makes sense and there is a lot less "pull" on my stomach if I lie on that side. Less hip pain too.

I was always most comfortable lying on my back or right side. I actually know exactly what you mean about the "pull"! I asked the midwives about it a couple of times as I'd read a few places that you shouldn't lie on your back, they said it was absolutely fine to lie whatever way you're comfortable right up until the end.

Sligo1

73trix wrote: »

Re. Attitudes of some midwives.

Now to be fair most are gems and every profession has a couple of dodgy members but while in hospital I really struggled with 2 especially who I found cold, dismissive and patronising. As a brand new mam, after a section and all that goes with it and new to breastfeeding, the first few days in hospital have been v tough. This is without the bad attitude of a couple of nurses who made me feel stupid and inadequate that I dreaded ringing the bell. I had had a pretty good day with my baby today but tonite was really tough - could not settle him and thus could not get him to latch on and thus he was in a state. I had done so much in and out of the bed, picking him up in dif positions to try wind, cuddle, checked nappy, changed him from being on my bed to my lap to my shoulder to walking the corridor that I hurt my back with all the manoeuvrings. In the end I called the bell and asked the MW for assistance. She was so cold and asked the obvious - have you fed him, can you get him latched on. I explained that i had been trying everything for 2 hrs and now my back was sore and I needed her to settle him so I could get ready to feed and hoping he'd be calm. She ignored my sore back and just said you need to latch him on immediately when he indicates he is hungry and not let him get upset. Like I didn't know that. She helped me get him feeding but as she walked away said the same thing again to "avoid this problem again". Not a bit supportive but as if pissed off at being disturbed . I was tearful aswell but this was ignored. I have avoided the bell to seek pain relief as cannot deal with her type again tonite. Thank god I get discharged n the morning. Most staff v have been fab but it only takes one or 2 like her to feel really undermined.

To the post pregnancy moan thread with you!!! Haha. Jokes. I haven't actually been following this thread lately but just read your post and I actually felt like giving you a hug. I hope you are feeling a bit better today?

Fwiw there is always one or 2! I can vouch for that. Some midwives (and of course other professions nurses, docs, teachers etc) are crabby and cold and insensitive at a time when you are most vulnerable and in need of empathy, support and kindness. But for each of those horrible ones there are 10 fantastic ones. But yes... It's the insensitive one you remember. I found the young midwives fantastic and kind and supportive while there was one old school midwife who was just awful. If you feel very badly about the whole experience you can make a complaint (formal or informal), or perhaps just mention in to the CNM2 of the ward. No body deserves to be treated in that way.

Congratulations and I hope you and your little bundle are well today

Merkin

Neyite wrote: »

Oh, I've had that implied.:mad: By someone also on their first baby who did cry-it-out for hours over several nights. Their child doesnt cry out for them now at night, even when sick. And they seem proud of that fact. I had the strictest parents out of all my peers growing up and we still got a cuddle if we woke up in the night sick or scared.

That has really upset me The poor little thing. You can't give a baby too much love, too many cuddles or enough reassurance. They are ever so little and growing at the rate they do can be hard work for them, knowing they'll be comforted and cuddled gets them through it.

Dolbert

Whispered wrote: »

Seriously question though, you know the way you are supposed to lie on your left as much as possible, would there be a reason I'm much more comfortable on my right? It seems the baby has settled to that side of me if that makes sense and there is a lot less "pull" on my stomach if I lie on that side. Less hip pain too.

I get this exact sensation when I lie on my left too, it's really uncomfortable! This morning I also got dizzy when I was lying on my back for too long which was a first. The only way I can get any sleep these days is on my right with a pillow propped under the bump!

Whispered

I can't lie on my back for any length - or lounge, I have to sit up relatively straight or lie on my side or I loose my breath. Still I am perfectly happy to lie around on my side

Just back from the doc, heartbeat good and strong and he was happy to sign a fit to fly form for a little holiday next week. All go now for packing, hotel booking, travel insurance, car parking etc.

angeldelight

Having a cold while pregnant is a truly miserable experience Only being able to take paracetamol doesn't help :mad::mad: