talk to a complete stranger!!!!

justshane

This comedian didn't quite get sarcasm....

Stranger: hey
You: hi
Stranger: wanna hear a joke?
You: yeah
You: why not
(2 min pause)
You: Are you going to tell me one?
Stranger: sorry
You: not that funny
Stranger: got to think of how to type it without babbling
Stranger: ive not done it yet!!
Stranger: okay
You: o sorry
Stranger: im going to shorten bits
You: Ok sound
Stranger: gf gets dumped by bf for being too kinky during sex
Stranger: so she goes out to a club to get over him
Stranger: she meets this guy and they start to talk
Stranger: he tells her that his wife has just divorced him for being too kinky durin sex
Stranger: so the girl invites the guy back to hers
Stranger: she goes to the bathroom and changes
Stranger: she comes out in a tight, leather outfit, with a whip, gag, ties, cream, chocolate sauce etc
Stranger: but she sees that the guy is leaving, she asks him why he is going
Stranger: he says what?? im done, i have already ****ed your dog and shat in your handbag
Stranger: NOW the joke is finished
You: When did it end exactly?
Stranger: my last sentance
You: Great joke

Wacker

justshane wrote: »

This comedian didn't quite get sarcasm....

Stranger: hey
You: hi
Stranger: wanna hear a joke?
You: yeah
You: why not
(2 min pause)
You: Are you going to tell me one?
Stranger: sorry
You: not that funny
Stranger: got to think of how to type it without babbling
Stranger: ive not done it yet!!
Stranger: okay
You: o sorry
Stranger: im going to shorten bits
You: Ok sound
Stranger: gf gets dumped by bf for being too kinky during sex
Stranger: so she goes out to a club to get over him
Stranger: she meets this guy and they start to talk
Stranger: he tells her that his wife has just divorced him for being too kinky durin sex
Stranger: so the girl invites the guy back to hers
Stranger: she goes to the bathroom and changes
Stranger: she comes out in a tight, leather outfit, with a whip, gag, ties, cream, chocolate sauce etc
Stranger: but she sees that the guy is leaving, she asks him why he is going
Stranger: he says what?? im done, i have already ****ed your dog and shat in your handbag
Stranger: NOW the joke is finished
You: When did it end exactly?
Stranger: my last sentance
You: Great joke

That was a good joke!

rhythm90

__________
You: so who's rooney gonna go to then?
Stranger: huhhh
You: m or f?
Stranger: f
You: say no more.
Stranger: u
You have disconnected.
__________

lil_lisa

You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: how's your day going?
Stranger: oh prettyy good
Stranger: its night atm so almost over
You: so you're in new zealand?
Stranger: na australia
You: ah, east coast
Stranger: lol since when do ppl say nz b4 oz
You: ha ha, i have a lot of kiwi friends
You: saying australia first gets you in trouble :P
You: its almost noon here
Stranger: yeh same with scottish, irish accents, always ask if scottish first
You: ha ha, well this time its irish
Stranger: oh yeh
Stranger: u from ireland?
You: yes
Stranger: thats cool is your name justin?
You: ha ha no
Stranger: damn tohught u were the 1 irish guy i know

Typical!

Thirdfox

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: I'm male..looking for horny female on msn with cam
You: ooh too bad - just have skype
Stranger: m or f
You have disconnected.

smash

You: Hi f*ckface
Stranger: hi, how are you
You: I just called you f*ckface and you still want to talk?
Stranger: Ah I've been called worse
You: Ok f*ckface, gotta go
Stranger: Have a nice day

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

rhythm90

Stranger: ASL? hey im a horny girl and ive been reallynaughty i need someone rough to help me out;) do watever you want to me.. your in charge 17 f usa
You: heyy
You: m 20 ireland
Stranger: can you try to help me?
You: i can try...
You: what would you like me to do?
Stranger: ive let too many boys take advantage of me and **** me i need u to teach me something
You: you want me to teach you some self respect?
Stranger: mhmm
You: SELF RESPECT THESE NUTS!!

Mr Magners

bleg wrote: »

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: howdy
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: howdy
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: hi
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: yo
You: hey
You: how's it going?
You: kept getting error messages there for ages
Stranger: pretty good
Stranger: u?
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: this is weird
You: what is?
You: you getting those messages too?
Stranger: yeah The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
You: server must be in ****
Stranger: this talking to a stranger malarkey i mean
Stranger: is weird
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: hows u?
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
You: i'm fine
You: you?
Stranger: fine also
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: where are u
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
You: ****ing donkey balls!!!! send the ****ing message
You: that got through
Stranger: heheh
Stranger: where r u
You: must only be when you curse that it gets through you ****ing wanker
You: i'm in front of my pc
Stranger: i mean where in the world u ****
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: You: i mean where in the world u ****
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: You: i mean where in the world u ****
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: You: i mean where in the world u ****
You: i'm from ireland
You: you?
Stranger: gateshead
You: no need to swear you big donkey bollox
Stranger: soz twatface
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: this is really frustrating
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: this is really frustrating
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Stranger: this is really frustrating
You: it's not that frustrrating
You: see
Stranger: what do u do
You: i **** with people on the internets pretending their messages couldn't be delivered and that they should try again
You: you?
Stranger: i plan my every move
You: The message you sent could not be delivered. Please try again.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I've only just discovered this thread and I'm still on Page 1 but this post was outstanding. I nearly died laughing at it.

Well done Bleg that was top class:D:D:D

Shryke

You: Hey. I heard bears can't run downhill.
Stranger: don't know about that, they can rolll
You: My mate tells me if a bear ever gets after you that's what you should do. Ever touched one?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


My first Omegle. Some of the stuff on here is hilarious. Kudos to all.

V4

You: hi
Stranger: male?
You: yep
Stranger: msn?
You: nope
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

lol:pac:

Thirdfox

Stranger: hey
You: hello!
Stranger: its 9 inches
You: your ruler?
You: kinda short...
You: should be the standard 12 inches
You: or 30 cm
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Namlub

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: Found out my bf was cheating, now he's tied to the bed. Revenge ideas? lol
You: Well, have you ever seen Saw??
Stranger: ahahaha
Stranger: yes
You: Make him watch that. It's really poorly plotted.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Sindri

Has anyone here been on Omegle?

This is a few of the conversations I have had.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: any girl out here from new york or new jersey
You: What?
Stranger: are u from new york or new jersey
Stranger: ?
You: No.
Stranger: where u from than
Stranger: ?
You: New Zealand
Stranger: damm
Stranger: ur far
Stranger:
Stranger: i wanted to hook up


Here is another.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Wanna spank my horny ass?
You: Ok
Stranger: M?
You: No
Stranger: Damn
You: Are you female?
Stranger: Yeah
You: I can still spank your horny ass if you wish?
Stranger: If u suck my nips too
You: Defo


And this...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: submissive female looking for a shemale mommy and daughter roleplay (guys and girls can also join)
You: I'm In where abouts?
You: Hello?
Stranger: hey
You: I'm a male.
Stranger: wanna roleplay as the shemale mommy?
You: Hell Yeah,
You: So what's your name?
Stranger: Jessica
Stranger: but dont mention it in the roleplay
Stranger: its kind of a tturn off
You: I'll call you michelle?
Stranger: umm sure?
You: So what else do you want me to do?
Stranger: im into scat if u dont mind
You: Okay, that's fine.
Stranger: alrightt


This...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ur nipples hard?
You: I don't have nipples
Stranger: o
You: dont leave we can still have cyber sex without nipps
Stranger: ok

And last but not least...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m/f
You: m
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Discuss.

Hasmunch

Sindri wrote: »

Discuss.

You are a male in New Zealand and have no nipples!!

Sindri

Hasmunch wrote: »

You are a male in New Zealand and have no nipples!!

No mate, a honey badger robbed on me.

Super-Rush

Threads merged.

robbie_998

El Pistolero wrote: »

Threads merged.

and then locked for digging up an old thread and making me reliaze i have a subcription to it :pac:

u_c_thesecond

Stranger: hey

Stranger: bro here are you a sis?

You: yes sis here

Stranger: Oh yeah!!!!!!!!!

You: well i will be once i have my final operation

Your conversational partner has disconnected.:(

................................................................

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:
Dogs, cats, or fish?

You: cats

Stranger: none

You: def cats - they are delicious

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

jethro081

Stranger: horny girl? want to skype?
You: yes,
You: and of course i do
You: i am frothing with anticipation
You: let me just get my whips and chains so i can properly debase myself in anticipation of your pleasure
Stranger:
Stranger: mmmm
Stranger: i love a girl that takes controle
You: i love a guy who can spell control
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Insect Overlord

Stranger: Hi asl
You: What an original opening line! you must get all the girls
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

LOL

EddyC15

Question to discuss:
you two are now married, how do you spend your honeymoon?
Stranger: Oh honey
You: Yes, darling?
Stranger: do you like to do it in the living room, or in the balcony
You: I'm tired of this relentless copulation!
You: Let's go hiking.
Stranger: ofcourse, whatever you say is my command and will
Stranger: where would you like to go hike?
You: The Hollywood Hills.
You: Hitch hiking.
You: Like it was 1967.
Stranger: that is kinda freaky
Stranger: but you are my little freak
Stranger: and i love you forever
You: Aw...
You: Get your boots on anyway.
You: We've many miles to travel.
Stranger: yes my princess
Stranger: right away
Stranger: how much cash we should take with us
You: I've got 40 dollars left after the wedding. The only present that survived the fire was Aunt Bessy's toaster.
Stranger: actually we dont need money, we love eachother until the end of times. and that keeps our engine running
Stranger: lets just go with the flow
Stranger: and see what happens
You: That's a load of crap and you know it, ya cheapass.
Stranger: maybe we end up in other side of the planet
You: Get your credit card.
Stranger: i got only 1,2 million dollars left
You: Woo.
You: That's why I married you!
You: Ever dependable.
Stranger: well you spent most of it on those cheap rags
You: Anyway.
Stranger: you married me for money
Stranger: what is wrong with you
Stranger: i thought you love me
You: Well, I hardly married you for looks.
Stranger: i think i need to call my loyer
You: I need to call my lover.
Stranger: so you have been cheating on me aswell
You: She's a 16 year old Philipino.
Stranger: id like to hear that in court
Stranger: you cheap bitch
You: Are you divorcing me?
Stranger: no, you divorced yourself
You: I'm going to tell the judge that you hit me.
Stranger: you got no proof lady
Stranger: i dont hit you
Stranger: i slap you
You: *hits herself* The bruises will be here tomorrow.
Stranger: well good we have a camera here
You: You're going to jail, dickweed.
Stranger: it is going to americas funnyest homevideos
Stranger: im not going to jail
You: Your face is going to America's Funniest Homevideos!
You: Your ass is going to jail.
Stranger: that what you are telling me now
You: I was born a man, by the way.
Stranger: that explains the extra hair on your feet
You: I keep my testicles in a jar by my false teeth.
Stranger: you sicko
Stranger: *tryes to find his machinegun
Stranger: im gonna blast you to pieces you cuntbag
You: *pulls ****ing Matrix *****
Stranger: *emptyes the whole magazine, all missed
You: MY TESTICLES!!!
You: You smashed the jar!
You: They can't breath in the air.
Stranger: you are going to eat those balls
Stranger: with your asshole
You: Their gills are useless!
You: Holy ****, is that Robert DeNiro in our back yard?
Stranger: well he better be here for seeing you eating your testicles with your asshole
You: Nope, he's just passing through.
You: Hi, Robbie!
Stranger: what did you expect we live where actors live
You: We live in Compton.
You: This is just the honeymoon.
You: Don't get delusional.
You: Let's buy a midget!
Stranger: a what
You: A midget.
You: A dwarf.
You: A little person.
You: Vertically challenged,
You: Anyway.
You: I don't think it's working out.
You: At least we lasted longer than Kim Kardashian.
You: The slut.
You: It's over.
You: I'm keeping the toaster.
Stranger: ofcourse its over
Stranger: its my toaster
You: No!
You: My toaster!"
You: Please!
Stranger: okay
You: I only have 40 dollars.
Stranger: take your toaster
Stranger: and get the **** out of my mansion
You: And that's worth **** all these days.
You: You're standing in Bill Murray's mansion.
You: we booked it for the honeymoon.
Stranger: you dont come tell me where to sit
Stranger: i think that roleplay is ending
You: Look, I have the toaster, 40 dollars in my pocket, a poptart and An Eminem CD in a locker in Washington.
Stranger: i need to ****ing eat
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Shiner11

Stranger: hi any indians here?
You: just cowboys

That_Guy

Stranger: ... 19 m u???
You: 18 t
Stranger t???
You: Transexual

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

cocalolaman

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: male..
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

/omegle

TanG411

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:
Truth or dare (fastest goes first)

You: I dare you to press alt + f4.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

JerryHandbag

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: sup?
You: supper?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Shiner11

Stranger: hey male here looking for a girl with skype
You: you've just found her!!!
You: LOL JK. keep looking creep.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



Stranger: hey
You: sup
Stranger: asl
You: wut?
Stranger: age,sex, location
You: 18-20, with a girl, and on the beach. Ya, that would be sweet.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

dazftw

That_Guy wrote: »

Stranger: ... 19 m u???
You: 18 t
Stranger t???
You: Transexual

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Lol had to try that.

You: 23 T Australia
You: you??
Stranger: Wat I T
Stranger: Is t
You: Transexual
Stranger: Really?
You: Yeah
Stranger: Wat do u have and don't have?
You: I dont have a penis anymore
Stranger:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Hahaha

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Would you use a strapon on Taylor Swift?
Stranger: maybe
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

fusuf

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: asl

You: We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

steinone

Stranger: asl
You: FINISH YOUR WORDS MAN!
You: A slow?
You: A Slow dog?
Stranger: u dont no what that means
You: I know you didn't finish typing that
Stranger: no i did asl stands for some thing dumbo lol
Stranger: your like 10 arent you
You: Nahh
Stranger: yahhh
You: Dumbo is kinda something a ten year old would say tho..
Stranger: ok well at least i no what asl stands for
You: So you ARE ten? I knew it
Stranger: no im 16
Stranger: seriesly
You: Serious*
You: :P
Stranger: back off
Stranger: r u a boy or a girl
You: COME AT ME BRO!
Stranger: ok
You: Boy
Stranger: i will
You: Ok...
You: You will what? Here you go again, finish your sentences. Your words are better
Stranger: come at you
You: Ah I see, I see.
Stranger: lol
You: So lets try this out....
Stranger: what
You: asl?
You: Am I doing it right?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: do u no what it stands for
You: Google is my friend
Stranger: WOW
You: Age sex location?
Stranger: omg your right
You: And bingo was his nameo..
Stranger: your so childish
You: So go on, answer my internetz question

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This is fun!