Worst housemates ever?

Professey Chin

Ally Dick wrote: »

What's wrong with having a pedal and crank?

Not having a bike

Lockstep

segaBOY wrote: »

I shared a house with a Korean guy (sound guy by all accounts)

His room was adjacent to mine and his bed was up against the wall. Every morning I used wake up to hear his moaning as he was masturbating.

Apart from the mental scarring of that he was fine to live with.

My housemate is a bit like that.

Indonesian lad, quite and nice, bit shy.
However, him and some woman (girlfriend? Hooker? Sex slave?) love to get their sex nuts on with what sounds like an electronic defibrillator. I usually get woken up at 3am to the following;

*zap* OOOOOHH
*ZAP* OOOOOOOHHHHHH


The landlord lives on the ground floor and is a bit of a nutter. Anyone ever seen the League of Gentlemen and remember Pop, the Greek landlord? He reminds me of him. If he ever sees the curtains closed past noon he will find an excuse to come into the room ("Your sink needs bleaching"....?)
If I ever do anything to inconvenience him (needing to go out the front door when he's painting it) I get an earful of Dutch abuse which I can't understand but the gist of which is that I'm an inconsiderate Irish toerag. He works in a bar next door so if I ever go past, he will come out to say "and you don't be coming back drunk tonight eh?"
He seems to have given me the room purely because I;m Irish (he loves Irish whiskey) and is positive I'm an alcoholic. Once he started talking about how drunk I was the day before (I was visiting Brussels for the weekend so it couldn't have been me) but he was adament I was pissed as a skunk.

Sam Vimes wrote: »

i don't know if that's insane or genius

you: you took my top
her: no i didn't
you: YOU'RE WEARING IT RIGHT NOW!!
her : no i'm not

cosmic

That happened to a guy back in school;
David; hey that's my ruler.
Patrick; No it's not, it's mine.
David; It has David Loving written on the ruler.
PAtrick;.....uh that was on it when I bought it.

MadPatrick

My currant housemate goes mad if I pick up girls, like proper mental.

And she's all up in my business and usually she wakes me up during weekends and wants to go for walks and breakfast.

Also she quizzes me on what my family are doing after I call home(I live in Aus)

I can only see it getting worse after we're married!!

katicasi

Once i lived with a guy who smoked weed all day long and failed to see the problem in leaving a pile of dirt which sort of radiated from the base of the couch to the middle of the room then i lived with a girl who stole all of my make up (alot) when she moved out of the house, there was the two lads who failed to pay the rent for 6 months leaving me to pay it for them, there was the sex guy, the guy who'd only stay once a week on thursday, bring a load of strangers to the house and left w/o paying his bills and now there's this guy who, in a week, has driven FOUR of my mates away by just being a twat, insulted me everyday since hes moved in and is possibly the cockiest ass ive ever met....gonna ask him to leave later!!

katicasi

MadPatrick wrote: »

My currant housemate goes mad if I pick up girls, like proper mental.

And she's all up in my business and usually she wakes me up during weekends and wants to go for walks and breakfast.

Also she quizzes me on what my family are doing after I call home(I live in Aus)

I can only see it getting worse after we're married!!

lol

amandakola

last year in toronto, i was living the loveliest, easygoing cool canadian girls. eventually one moved out, and we picked this irish girl to move in, who seemed nice at first.

After two months,she ended up getting one of the Canadian girls [who had lived there for 2 years] kicked out, because she didnt like when she had her boyfriend over, and instead of just saying it to her, kept going straight to the landlord, and exaggerating/making stuff up about him showering at our place every day etc. [not true. and WHO CARES, the landlord paid the bills.]

she was just SUCH an asshole. if i could punch one person from 2009 in the face it would be her hands down.
though i do believe before the Canadian girl left the house she did a few nice phlegmy spits in irish girls food.
and rimmed the toilet with her toothbrush.

horrible?yes. i wouldn't have the guts to do that...too afraid of karma! but then, irish girl had gotten canadian girl KICKED OUT of her home, so i guess that IS her karma.
can't say it doesn't make me smile a big one!

Michael B

amandakola wrote: »

last year in toronto, i was living the loveliest, easygoing cool canadian girls. eventually one moved out, and we picked this irish girl to move in, who seemed nice at first.

After two months,she ended up getting one of the Canadian girls [who had lived there for 2 years] kicked out, because she didnt like when she had her boyfriend over, and instead of just saying it to her, kept going straight to the landlord, and exaggerating/making stuff up about him showering at our place every day etc. [not true. and WHO CARES, the landlord paid the bills.]

she was just SUCH an asshole. if i could punch one person from 2009 in the face it would be her hands down.
though i do believe before the Canadian girl left the house she did a few nice phlegmy spits in irish girls food.
and rimmed the toilet with her toothbrush.

horrible?yes. i wouldn't have the guts to do that...too afraid of karma! but then, irish girl had gotten canadian girl KICKED OUT of her home, so i guess that IS her karma.
can't say it doesn't make me smile a big one!

What an absolute tit! You guys should have made up lies about her and gotten HER kicked out!


I have too many to mention, I try to blank them out of my memory.

Evolute

This happens to be one of the only threads on boards that I have read all 15 pages of and laughed my a** off for most of it.

I can quite thankfully say I have never had any problems with roommates so haha .
Some of the stuff in this thread though I have got to say would have me swinging for alot of the bad roommates well bar the wimmens can't be hitting them.
Would scare the crap out of them if they where dirt birds though.

sam34

i lived with a girl who used leave used sanitary towels lying around on the bathroom floor, and when she eventually put them in the bin she never rolled them up or wrapped them up, just chucked them in so when you went to put something in teh pin you'd be faced with a bloody pad.

gross

ToxicPaddy

Oh I dunno where to start:

One house mate, an english guy who lost his job a few months after moving in
and decided the sitting room was gonna be his new hangout for 24 hours a
day, 2 sofas, one was his wardrobe and the other was his bed..

He used to make a big saucepan of soup, break up half a sliced pan of break
and mix it in, then wander around the house eating it straight from the
saucepan. Then suddenly get bored of eating it and just leave it anywhere.
Found a saucepan of half filled cold soup sitting on the middle of the landing,
behind a sofa, in the back garden.. He also admitted his fathers job was
dealing in stolen equipment from building sites.. :rolleyes:

Another one was constantly complaining about her weight, she used to go to
weight watchers and come home with a burger and chips.. She also used to
change into her pj's and the come sit on on the sofa curled up with her hair
pulled down over one eye rocking back and forward. She argued with
everyone, used to have screaming matches with her family on the phone
almost everyday.. Complete lunatic.

And finally one who tried to scam us out of rent claiming that she didnt have
to pay her total amount as she found the house, lied about who was moving
in, lied about bills, lied about basically everything, we caught her out and then
she tried playing us off one another, saying oh he said I didnt have to pay for
this.. eh no he didnt I was speaking to him 5 mins ago and you told him I said
you didnt have to pay for that.. she had neither the intelligence or know how
to pull it off but continued to try it.. we turfed her out after 6 weeks.. :P

Thats just some of them.. there were plenty more!!!

Columbia

One of my housemates ended up obsessively stalking me. She broke into my room one day while I was away and started going through stuff on my computer. I only realised once I came back and a different screen was up than when I had left.

She set up a fake Myspace account with a girl sharing all the same interests as me, presumably so I'd come on to her and she could try and use it to break me and my girlfriend up.

She tried to kiss me hours before I decided to try it with said girlfriend. How she knew what I was thinking is beyond me, it's possible she went through my phone or something similar. More than a coicidence anyway.

And then, one of the strangest of all, since there was no real reason for it, she used to text herself messages, and then show them to me as if they were from her friends. And they would usually be things like "You dumb cow, I hate you so ******* much!!"



edit: OH YEAH! She also made up a friend "Mike", started a band with him (with music stolen from Boyce Avenue, as if I was never going to figure it out), set up a Myspace for him, had a car crash with him, and even flirted with one of the other housemates through the Myspace.

The last time I spoke to her at length I told her in all sincerity that she needed a huge amount of help and that this was no way to treat the people that are supposed to be her friends, but she just got angry, denied everything and told me to "**** off forever", which I did. She's flunked out of college and is working in Spar, last I heard.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

WeeBushy wrote: »

Yes what you did, that was shameful.

You made her wash her hands in your bf's jizz, brush her teeth in the remnants of your excrement and made her ingest someone's urine.

How are you a functioning member of society?

Also you have never told any of your friends about this, but are willing to make it public knowledge to thousands of people on the internet...

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Oh no, people on the internet think i'm awful... I wonder how is she ever going to live with herself... fcuking lol...

kowloon

Lived with a ~35 year old postgrad last year, he couldn't cook at all.
He used to add this strange powder into all his meals. His most common meal was a sliced pan torn up and boiled in water with this spice mix added. Sometimes he would boil Crumpets or Scones to mix with the curry powder.

It used to make one of my other housemates feel so sick she would open all the windows and head off to friends for an hour or so until the smell had started to clear.

He boiled eggs sometimes, and boiled them for so long the shells would crack and they would start exploding, he would then mash up the eggs, shell and all, and add his spice powder.

He usually boiled things for so long the water would boil off, the worst being frozen chicken; the chicken boils into mush and comes off the bones, he would eat the chicken must and spit out the sharp bone fragments.

/rant.

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

Eduardo Orange Tendon wrote: »

I lived with a heroin junkie last year... beat that.

I lived with a german guy in 4th year in college. He looked like a vampire :eek:, hair below his shoulders, leather jacket to his ankles and a hat. Never left his room only to make food. I was heating beans in a saucepan on the hob, his response "you know it more efficent to use the microwave?" He hated ireland, first time i met him he hared irish night clubs, pubs, he watched 5 mins of GAA...... and hated it! All this within 5 mins of meeting him. hated any noise we made. Total pain in the ass for the year.

same year, a guy lived with us, (we were in student accommodation) we might only see him once a week, when all his mates would be drinking in his room before they went out, and then a house party when they returned after 3am until 10-11am. The only conversation we had with him, he was off his face and wondered did we want any E. One thurs night he came home after 3 for the usual party, he forgot his key, kept banging on the door, we didnt let him in, just stayed in our rooms (even the german ) thinking they will just go to another house. Was kinda funny for a while. Some of his mates screaming in the letter box "Ya garman fcuker, open the door!" Then after 20 mins of trying, they get a great idea, lets break a window :rolleyes:. On the sunday we returned, there was an envelope stuck to his door with his eviction notice

and thats only 4th year!

kowloon

Annalise Alive Author2010 wrote: »

I was heating beans in a saucepan on the hob, his response "you know it more efficent to use the microwave?"

Everything is nicer from a pot. Efficiency is irrelevant when it comes to food.

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

kowloon wrote: »

Everything is nicer from a pot. Efficiency is irrelevant when it comes to food.

exactly!

itac

I've been fairly lucky with housemates apart from the odd few...

One girl (Dental technician, so she had some brains somewhere...!) burnt almost every item of food she cooked. Pizzas, meat, toast...the kitchen just smelt of burnt food all the time. I was used to the fire alarm going off everytime she cooked, so when it went off, I paid no attention to it, as I figured she'd reset shortly.

A few minutes later, it was still going, so I opened the door of the living room to be met by a corridor full of black smoke! Ran into the kitchen, smoke was pouring from the microwave. Knocked it off at the mains with a wooden rolling pin, opened windows, doors etc, and left the room for a good ten mins. She came rushing down the stairs at this point, screaming & shouting at me!

When I went back into the room, I opend the microwave door to see this small black charred object. When I asked her what it was, she replied "ohh, it's a burger bun, I figured it'd be quicker to toast it the micowave, so I just put it on for ten minutes!"

What annoyed me even more was we had both a toaster, and a grill...:rolleyes:

Another guy I lived with went on and on about how he hated the house being untidy & about the amount of junk food I ate. (apparently home cooked lasagne/bolognese/salads/stir fry=junk food!!)

There was only the two of us in a five roomed house one summer, so it was only the kitchen & living room we shared. Now, I don't have the cleanest of rooms, but I always clean up any mess I make in shared areas, because I know how annoying it is when housemates don't!

So this guy would have friends over, leave all their crap on the kitchen table for days, and then give out about the mess I'd left. When I'd point out to him that it was him & friends who created the mess, he'd just give out that it was a shared area, and I "shared" the responsibility for cleaning it. He changed his tune fairly quickly on that when I started leaving my dishes on the table for a few nights, claiming it was his share of the washing up that needed doing!

He ate at least one, if not two pizzas a day, drank 4-6 cans minimum per night, and would always leave the biggest load of s*** in the toilet without flushing last thing at night. His exuse was that I was usually gone to bed, so he didn't want to wake me by flushing it! When I told him I'd prefer to be woken by water pipes than be greeted by that first thing in the morning, he said he'd make the effort to flush a bit more. So he was a nice guy really...:D

But that's only 2 headwreckers out of a possible 25+ over the last ten years, so that's not too bad I guess....!

daveyboy_1ie

katicasi wrote: »

there was the sex guy, the guy who'd only stay once a week on thursday, bring a load of strangers to the house and left w/o paying his bills and now there's this guy who, in a week, has driven FOUR of my mates away by just being a twat, insulted me everyday since hes moved in and is possibly the cockiest ass ive ever met....gonna ask him to leave later!!

I have to ask.......?

kumate_champ07

This is why I dont share with anyone else, I wouldnt want to be annoyin anyone

Paulj

Lived with a girl once who on more than one occasion left a used sanitery towel on the window sill of the bathroom :eek: A lovely sight to try and avoid eye contact with when taking a piss. :P

kumate_champ07

Paulj wrote: »

Lived with a girl once who on more than one occasion left a used sanitery towel on the window sill of the bathroom :eek: A lovely sight to try and avoid eye contact with when taking a piss. :P

reuse recycle?

yimrsg

I had this one guy whilst in college who can only be described as a nightmare, at first he seemed normalish but I quickly found out otherwise.

He used to shout a morning mantra every morning about achieving his goals; blah, blah, blah and let a big Wooo! a la Ric Flair for no apparent reason often for just leaving a room and entering another. He did the normal bad housemate stuff of leaving the kitchen in a mess (we had slugs in our kitchen because of him), taking other peoples food without asking and used condoms on bathroom window sill.

He also left his radio on full blast to some crappy station and locked his door. This wasnt too bad (by his standards), but since he had the gas meter in his room and needed a gas card to top it up and get hot water and heat the house, it soon became a big issue. I refused to pay for his share of the gas card until he paid his debt. He once ran a scalding hot bath and forgot about it. So we had icy showers! He eventually caved in when I stopped him using my kettle to heat up water for a bath.

When I eventually got into his room to top up the gas meter (I wouldn't trust him with it) there was picture scraps of famous chefs (he once told me how he was going to be as good as Gordon Ramsey) and kitchens and his scribblings written all over the place, of his mantra/ramblings. Hmmm creepy.

Then one day there was a knock on the door and there were two middle age ladies there who asked me to give him his medicene which he hadn't collected (and not taken!!) So I took them and left them on the letter pile for him to see. I checked the medicene hoping it would be something like an giant gobstopper to shut him up but it was risperidone. I don't wish to stigmatise people who use risperidone but I'm only relating my experience.

I went to my land lord explained the situation to them and moved house within a week.

walshb

midlandsmissus wrote: »

When he took down the shower curtain because he said it was 'broken', and mysterious holes started appearing in the bathroom walls and ceiling, we all legged it.

Norman?

walshb

partyguinness wrote: »

*The girl who went for a dump first thing every morning and NEVER flushed is a very recent example. Sad thing is..she is damn sexy but I just cant look at her in the same away again.

If she's damn sexy, why did you want her to flush?:D:eek:

Jumpy

I remember a story a former girlfriend once told me about a housemate she had.

He used to get big wads of frozen mince from his farmer mammy and pappy when he went home each month. He would heat up oil, get the mince ball out of the freezer, drop one end into the pan until it was cooked, scrape it off the still frozen ball and put the remainder of the ball back in the freezer. This used to last him weeks.
Them farmer boys have strong stomachs.

walshb

I have read so many now, this thread is insanely brillinat and addictive. Reality and weirdness at its best.

Post #102 is IMO the best of the lot, hilariously demonic.

Mayoegian

yimrsg wrote: »

I had this one guy whilst in college who can only be described as a nightmare, at first he seemed normalish but I quickly found out otherwise.

He used to shout a morning mantra every morning about achieving his goals; blah, blah, blah and let a big Wooo! a la Ric Flair for no apparent reason often for just leaving a room and entering another. He did the normal bad housemate stuff of leaving the kitchen in a mess (we had slugs in our kitchen because of him), taking other peoples food without asking and used condoms on bathroom window sill.

He also left his radio on full blast to some crappy station and locked his door. This wasnt too bad (by his standards), but since he had the gas meter in his room and needed a gas card to top it up and get hot water and heat the house, it soon became a big issue. I refused to pay for his share of the gas card until he paid his debt. He once ran a scalding hot bath and forgot about it. So we had icy showers! He eventually caved in when I stopped him using my kettle to heat up water for a bath.

When I eventually got into his room to top up the gas meter (I wouldn't trust him with it) there was picture scraps of famous chefs (he once told me how he was going to be as good as Gordon Ramsey) and kitchens and his scribblings written all over the place, of his mantra/ramblings. Hmmm creepy.

Then one day there was a knock on the door and there were two middle age ladies there who asked me to give him his medicene which he hadn't collected (and not taken!!) So I took them and left them on the letter pile for him to see. I checked the medicene hoping it would be something like an giant gobstopper to shut him up but it was risperidone. I don't wish to stigmatise people who use risperidone but I'm only relating my experience.

I went to my land lord explained the situation to them and moved house within a week.

Yet it didn't cross your mind that his Schizophrenia and peculiar behaviour weren't linked? The man obviously had a disorder, it's nothing that you should be sharing with the World. Show a bit of consideration.

Spore

MaighEoGoDeo wrote: »

Yet it didn't cross your mind that his Schizophrenia and peculiar behaviour weren't linked? The man obviously had a disorder, it's nothing that you should be sharing with the World. Show a bit of consideration.

Er, his identity wasn't given away? What's the problem?

Korvanica

Ivicia wrote: »

(I only allowed the dope smoking before 5pm and after 8pm cos I hate the smell).

Worst One yet... i kick you out so fast!

madmac187 wrote: »

Don't live the following I think:
Gaa Heads always do damage because they can't do it at home

true, my cousin (BIG gaa head) told me about the time they spent 2 hours hitting a sliothar off the walls in their house.... Then he complained about the state of the place and not getting his deposit back.

haven't had any bad house mates, just messy friends. So its all good.

Keep the stories coming!!!

Overflow

Iolar wrote: »

oh and i read one of his writing on the ground how he was convinced the world was going to end in 2012 and the salvation for humanity is somewhere in Norway.....
l

He didn't by any chance tell you exactly were ???