Worst housemates ever?

ash23

I lived with some total dipsh1ts in my day.

One was so high pitched only dogs could hear her. She totally dropped me for months when she got a boyfriend, instead preferring to shag loudly on the couch in the sitting room and spend all weekend in her nightie and he in his pants, lying wrapped in a duvet on the sofa. When he moved away she flipped out because I "never asked her to go anywhere anymore".
Then she cheated on him and it somehow became my fault. Because I knew, she basically made up a load of sh1t about me to the others in the house and I was outcast. Not that I gave a fiddlers, they were all twats.
They went through my room, rang me at work insisting I come home to go to house "meetings" which were generally aimed at complaining that I was never there (because I have 2 jobs dipsh1ts!!). Oh and they'd leave notes. Lots of notes pinned to my door to ask me to join them in the sitting room for a "meeting" which would yet again just be about the general lack of my involvement in their lives. And then would go on to be a rant at me about various things like using the bathroom when I got in from work at 4am. Could I not go before I left work?
And the one who was high pitched, she used to sing loudly and tunelessly early in the morning to U2. That alternated with the high pitched squeals while she shagged her ugle boyfriend. Ever heard a pig having sex? I'd imagine that's what it sounded like. A series of grunts and squeals.......*shudder*

One day I just packed my bags and left. Forsaking my deposit I left them in their bitchy quagmire cesspit type house.
Weirdos.
Now the only weirdo I live with is myself!

Captain Barnacles

Anyone seen the Netflix show "Worst Roommate ever" ?

Jaysus!!! that's fuckkked up ...

bodhrandude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118757134#Comment_118757134

More like murder investigations than about disruptive flatmates, watched first two episodes. Was expecting a bit humour in it and it being about crazy nutters who just annoy you or cause you sleepless nights, this programme is more about serial killers and real psychos.

Edit: Eleven years later, Captain Barnacles you must have a lot of time in your hands seeking out zombie threads.

NedsNotDead

I use to ejaculate in my housemates yogurt

swimming in a sea

I never had any nutters, just some ghost housemates.

I Shared a flat with one guy and I kid you not I met him the day I moved in as he gave me the key and I lived there for the next 12 months and i didn't meet him again. He worked a normal day job but he usually cooked at 3am and had the en-suite so didn't need to leave his room. His bedroom door was right opposite the flat door so it actually shielded any view of him until he got in his own room.

Motivator

When I was in my mid 20s I lived with three others. They were all late 30s and two of them were never there, maybe one night every two weeks or so. The one that was always there was a woman in her late 30s and she basically never left the house. One weekend I was staying up in Dublin to go to a match and got a takeaway and a few cans on the Friday night after work. The woman was meant to finally go out with some friends but they cancelled and she ended up getting wine and watched a film with me.

We ended up having sex and then continued to do so for a few weeks. She wasn’t particularly good looking but she was older and it was literally a come home from work and go straight to her room if the others weren’t there kind of set up. I’d say we had sex 40 or 50 times in the space of 3 weeks. I came home from work one evening and the other two lads were in the kitchen with her, then the landlord came with her husband.

the woman obviously had a change of heart about our antics and wanted me out of the house. She told the others she caught me stealing money from one of the other lads room - a total lie. The lads didn’t really know me at all because in the 9 months I’d lived there I’d say I saw them a handful of times so there was no way they could back me up. Landlord and her husband gave the guy money (€200) out of my deposit and kept the rest themselves. I was asked to pack my stuff up and I was essentially escorted out of the house. A few months later I got a phonecall off the fella I supposedly took the money off and he said she had come clean and admitted I didn’t do anything wrong. A total nutter of a woman and it became clear to my why she was alone at nearly 40 years of age.

Hangdogroad

Shared a house for under six months in my early 20s with two students from Crawford School Of Art in Cork, a guy and girl. They wernt a couple (he was gay) but were very cliquey. There was another girl studying with them in the Crawford who was part of their clique and she was constantly crashing overnight.

They would harldly never wash up, would leave half eaten meals sitting around for a day or more. Worse all three of them would come in at 2 or three in the morning and wake me with impromptu parties several times a week. They were the three bitchiest snobs I've ever met, could overhear them making snide comments about me, plus about supposed friends of theirs. They would pin smug Polaroid photos of themselves that they took while partying all over the kitchen wall (this was the late 90s).

Tensions grew when I confronted them about the washing up and being woken up by their late night antics, plus the state they left the place in one night when they threw water all over the kitchen. It culminated with me threatening to beat the **** out of yer man when for the umpteenth time I overheard him mocking me. I left not too long after.

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/58851505#Comment_58851505

my name is luca, i live on the 2nd floor

padd b1975

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118766125#Comment_118766125

Good news about the sex though.

Gael23

Owner occupied place where the guy was just an OCD clean freak

cj maxx

In nyc we let a Cavan lad stay in the flat as he had nowhere else. Thieving cnut stole a ball of cash I had . Still planning my revenge, Haw

Gael23

Anyone lived in house shares where girls are really messy and it’s some of the lads that do most of the cleaning?

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118803160#Comment_118803160

I share a house with my fiancé, she's messy and I do all of the cleaning

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

I used live in a house with a fella that wouldn't wash up anything...I mean, he would eventually after a week or so. His usual routine was to make dinner, use all the pots and pans, dishes etc and then leave them in the sink for up to a week at a time... The issue here is I wanted to use the pots and pans to make my own dinner so in order to do so I'd have to wash up his mess first, then cook my dinner, wash up after myself, only to come home to a mess again the next day. The final straw was him using the blender at 3am to make a smoothie out of frozen fruits and yoghurt waking me up in the process. The whole lot went over the back wall, blender, pots and pans, plates etc. Bought my own stuff after and left strict instructions that they're MINE and not to be used. Solved the problem.

Gael23

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118803976#Comment_118803976

Do you go the full scale chemical assault cleaning products or keep it natural?

Mad_maxx

My fiancé is great at cleaning the bathroom, I never do as good a job , she's a terrific cook but leaves an awful mess afterwards

Her mam warned me years ago that " its a good job one of you is tidy "

bejeezus

I was quite ill in first year of college and puked in our shared bathroom sink. Couldn’t get rid of it before a lecture ,and thought my roommate wouldn’t be back before then, so I left it and went to the lecture. She arrived early and found it and basically thought I was disgusting for pukingI there. I had crohns, so there was the odd vomit-cleaned up vomit from then on. She wasn’t that sympathetic ,naturally enough!

Gael23

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118805264#Comment_118805264

Bleach down the toilet and spray everything else, pretty easy!

Ekerot

This thread brings back memories.

When I was in college, I had a roommate. The dude was fat, smelly, and obsessed with a Pokémon called Gardevoir. He had Gardevoir T-shirts, Gardevoir posters, a Gardevoir plushie, and I swear to God, he had a Gardevoir Japanese **** pillow. Every **** conversation we had, he turned it into Gardervoir conversation. I wanted to punch him so bad, but I couldn't. I got anger issues, and just one **** up could get me out of college. But I swear to God, sometimes I thought it would be a just price for punching that fat motherfucker in the face. I kept finding Gardevoir pictures EVERYWHERE. Some of them were covered in cum. Every night I heard him jerking off, and no matter how many times I asked - he did it anyway.

Once he said to me: "Hey Ekerot, we are having Pokémon night this Friday, are you cool with that?" I had an all-night videogame LAN party that Friday, so I allowed that, but only if his buddies wouldn't touch any of my stuff. At all.

Long story short - LAN party got cancelled, and I had to go back to my room. My God, what I saw could not be described. Four fat nerds, watching the Pokémon anime, eating Cheetos, and covering everything with orange dust. One of those fatasses wore a **** Gardevoir suit and another one was smoking. And they were sitting on my bed. That's right, those fuckers were sitting on my goddamn bed, covering it in Cheetos dust, cigarette ash and sweat. They haven't noticed me, because they were too busy watching anime. I was about to scream on top of my lungs and punch them, when Gardevoir appeared on the screen. All four pulled their dicks out in one synchronised movement and started to masturbate. I wish I was making that up. Even today this comes back in my nightmares. I gave my roommate a head concussion, knocked a few teeth out of others, and shattered suit guy's kneecap. Got into serious trouble for a while, but my lawyer pulled my ass out of the fire. I **** hate Gardevoir.

NedsNotDead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118807935#Comment_118807935

Cool story. When is the movie

fryup

Cool Story. What is the movie (you took it from or was it a dream)

Liberty_Bear

My old house mate was my boss. A lad who would interrupt watching tv, would whinge and insult and then went on to become a diplomat, left me short on the rent but I over looked it

Despise the fella

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^

your boss?? now a diplomat??? elaborate please😶

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118807935#Comment_118807935

...hes autistic!

El Gato De Negocios

When I was a fresher in college, a French lad moved in about halfway through the college year, was a chef. He was an utter slob, at least 20 stone and every Sunday when I'd come back up the sink would be stacked with dirty dishes, pots, pans etc. I could abide with his slovenly ways to a point and took to keeping my own pots and pans for my own use. Anyway, one Sunday i landed back to an empty house. Pottered around then went upstairs to my room and noticed my two pillows were gone off my bed. Looked around the room but couldn't see them. Knowing Frenchy was the only one in the house over the weekend I looked into his room and there were my two pillows, on his bed and obviously having been slept on.

I was effin livid. Left a note on his door telling him if he ever went near any of my stuff again I'd kill him while he slept. Not that I would of course, i wouldn't be any use in a fight never mind anything else but it worked and he moved out less than two weeks later.

iamstop

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/58845237#Comment_58845237

I lived with a flat earther. And she as a teacher! She was 50. Also believed satellites were not real and the south pole is illegal to fly over. She believed in remote viewing and one day called her buddy to prove to me it was real. Well basically all his guesses were WAY off and he eventually only got close because of all the clues she was feeding him. Complete hogwash plain as day for anyone who cared to look but she felt is was adequate proof that he could remote view. Sheesh.

TBH she was generally harmless, she paid rent on time and was clean. Though she did adopt a traumatized cat with bowel problems despite me telling her no pets were allowed on the lease.