Could you go out with a religeous person?

Flamed Diving

Dragan wrote: »

Nope, i have done in the past and it always lead to to many issues. I found that while i was more than willing to repect their right to believe they were not willing to respect my right not to.

Very true. It's as if they think that you don't take the topic seriously. Like being an atheist is some flippant decision.

'A confused catholic'

midlandsmissus

I think 'religious' is used wrongly in alot of cases. Would you call some-one who believes in God but doesn't believe in organised religion religious?

Cause there is a difference, I certainly don't believe in any of that catholic church tripe

Malari

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I think 'religious' is used wrongly in alot of cases. Would you call some-one who believes in God but doesn't believe in organised religion religious?

Cause there is a difference, I certainly don't believe in any of that catholic church tripe

Really? Anyone who believes in a god is religious. Doesn't matter what kind of religion they subscribe to.

midlandsmissus

Malari wrote: »

Really? Anyone who believes in a god is religious. Doesn't matter what kind of religion they subscribe to.

Nah there is a difference.

After all there is a difference between agnostic and atheist even though they all basically don't believe in anything.

Handsome Bob

Dragan wrote: »

Nope, i have done in the past and it always lead to to many issues. I found that while i was more than willing to repect their right to believe they were not willing to respect my right not to.

How many religious people have you dated that would lead to you make such a de facto statement that you wouldn't date one again because they won't respect your views?

midlandsmissus

LZ5by5 wrote: »

How many religious people have you dated that would lead to you make such a de facto statement that you wouldn't date one again because they won't respect your views?

Yeah exactly you can't tar everyone with the same brush. My boyfriend is agnostic for example, and we rarely if ever discuss religion/non religion. It is a private thing.

Malari

I'm not tarring anyone, I'm saying that the definition of religious is the belief in god.

That for me is a problem in a relationship because I would feel that I couldn't express myself fully without offending them. Being an atheist is important to me and I wouldn't try to hide it or keep it private. I don't talk about it every day, but I do discuss my thoughts sometimes and it's a big deal to me that I am going out with someone who is also atheist.

Gazza22

I don't think i could go out with a very religious person, no. I could respect their views if they kept them to themselves but unfortunately religious people are not in the habit of keeping their views to themselves!

philologos

Malari wrote: »

I'm not tarring anyone, I'm saying that the definition of religious is the belief in god.

That for me is a problem in a relationship because I would feel that I couldn't express myself fully without offending them. Being an atheist is important to me and I wouldn't try to hide it or keep it private. I don't talk about it every day, but I do discuss my thoughts sometimes and it's a big deal to me that I am going out with someone who is also atheist.

That isn't entirely true. Being a theist is different from being religious.

However I have to say Christianity is a religion, there is a movement amongst more charismatic Christians to suggest that it isn't for some reason, I never quite understood that, then again I go to a rather traditional usually

Gazza22 wrote: »

I don't think i could go out with a very religious person, no. I could respect their views if they kept them to themselves but unfortunately religious people are not in the habit of keeping their views to themselves!

In fairness two points to be made here:

1) Most of the atheists and agnostics I have met are rather vocal indeed on religion, so I don't think that excuse cuts it.

2) Religion isn't a private thing to be kept to oneself. I was watching a youtube video by an atheist who was given a Bible by a Christian after doing standup or something, I think he was a comedian, and anyway, he said that if you are a Christian and if you believe in the salvation of others you'd be a monster if you didn't evangelise.

Secondly, if religion defines who someone is, it is going to be pretty much visible. I don't think my Christianity causes much problems to my friends, who are mostly agnostic, some atheists and indeed I've had some very interesting discussions with people about it. Most of whom approached me first on and one to one level.

Malari

But how else would you define religious? You don't have to be belonging to a named religion.

midlandsmissus

Malari wrote: »

I'm not tarring anyone, I'm saying that the definition of religious is the belief in god.

That for me is a problem in a relationship because I would feel that I couldn't express myself fully without offending them. Being an atheist is important to me and I wouldn't try to hide it or keep it private. I don't talk about it every day, but I do discuss my thoughts sometimes and it's a big deal to me that I am going out with someone who is also atheist.

That's funny because I find that in the last 2 years it is atheists who constantly try to push their their views on me, more than any religious person.

To an atheist if you don't believe exactly what they believe you are either called 'stupid', 'of limited intelligence' or generally 'crazy'.

Though I suppose either side will think there is more persecution from the other, as you don't recognise it as much on the side of belief that you are on.

Gazza22

Jakkass wrote: »

In fairness two points to be made here:

1) Most of the atheists and agnostics I have met are rather vocal indeed on religion, so I don't think that excuse cuts it.

2) Religion isn't a private thing to be kept to oneself. I was watching a youtube video by an atheist who was given a Bible by a Christian after doing standup or something, I think he was a comedian, and anyway, he said that if you are a Christian and if you believe in the salvation of others you'd be a monster if you didn't evangelise.

Secondly, if religion defines who someone is, it is going to be pretty much visible. I don't think my Christianity causes much problems to my friends, who are mostly agnostic, some atheists and indeed I've had some very interesting discussions with people about it. Most of whom approached me first on and one to one level.

Yeah i agree with you, it isn't just one sided. Atheists may at times be even more vocal because we tend to be challenging opinions a lot more.

While i understand religious people may feel that they should share their faith, it makes me uncomfortable probably because i'm an Atheist and i keep my thoughts private unless questioned - which is always by a religious person in my experience.

Genghiz Cohen

midlandsmissus wrote: »

To an atheist if you don't believe exactly what they believe you are either called 'stupid', 'of limited intelligence' or generally 'crazy'.

I agree.

Gambler

I guess it all depends on what sort of a relationship it is. The big problem is if you have fundamentally different opinions on the existence of a god then in the long run you are going to have "issues". For example, do you baptise your kids? How would you like your remains to be dealt with?

In the long run a relationship is about compatibility and given how important some peoples religious beliefs are to them it can be a make or break issue. If you are going out with someone who has never really considered the matter in any real sense then it's a different issue, there are a lot of people who believe (or not) by default because they've never actually thought about what it means to believe (or not as the case may be )

pseudonym1

Gazza22 wrote: »

I don't think i could go out with a very religious person, no. I could respect their views if they kept them to themselves but unfortunately religious people are not in the habit of keeping their views to themselves!

In the risk of generalising I think the same could be said of A&A..

Malari

midlandsmissus wrote: »

That's funny because I find that in the last 2 years it is atheists who constantly try to push their their views on me, more than any religious person.

But that's what I'm trying to say. I'm not "pushing" my views but I'm outspoken about them and that is only compatible with someone else who shares those views.

midlandsmissus wrote: »

To an atheist if you don't believe exactly what they believe you are either called 'stupid', 'of limited intelligence' or generally 'crazy'.

And yet you still seem surprised that an atheist would want to go out with one of the people they label in this way?

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Though I suppose either side will think there is more persecution from the other, as you don't recognise it as much on the side of belief that you are on.

All I'm saying is within a relationship there are lots of things I would say to my partner that I wouldn't share with other people. If this is the opinion that religious people are crazy then it doesn't matter as long as it doesn't offend him.

philologos

Malari wrote: »

And yet you still seem surprised that an atheist would want to go out with one of the people they label in this way?

I personally don't really care if an atheist would consider me in that way. Infact I would consider it their issue rather than mine. I really don't think there is much basis to suggest that theists are less intelligent than atheists. Actually it kind of comes off like chucking a demographic into a group which are "inferior". However, if that's what makes your day, sobeit.

Malari wrote: »

All I'm saying is within a relationship there are lots of things I would say to my partner that I wouldn't share with other people. If this is the opinion that religious people are crazy then it doesn't matter as long as it doesn't offend him.

I wouldn't say that I find atheists crazy, but I never could come to the same conclusion that they come to, and I would consider them mistaken and mistaken where it actually counts.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Malari

Jakkass wrote: »

I personally don't really care if an atheist would consider me in that way. Infact I would consider it their issue rather than mine. I really don't think there is much basis to suggest that theists are less intelligent than atheists. Actually it kind of comes off like chucking a demographic into a group which are "inferior". However, if that's what makes your day, sobeit.



I wouldn't say that I find atheists crazy, but I never could come to the same conclusion that they come to, and I would consider them mistaken and mistaken where it actually counts.

Look, I was just illustrating a point, I'm not saying that I am of the opinion that religious people are crazy or whatever. I'm just saying that from this thread it seems very apparent that even a very mild conversation in the direction of the existence of a god within a relationship might raise fundamental differences of opinion. And because this is such a sensitive issue, I can't see myself having the same arguement with a partner over religion.

With friends it almost never comes up. Within a relationship I think it comes up a lot more with declared atheists. I'm sure there are plenty of people who never discuss it at all and have never really thought about god much.

Helix

i definitely couldnt go out with an uber religious person tbh, its not something i find attractive, more a character flaw than anything

dioltas

I'd go out with a religious person. Wouldn't bother me tbh, so long as they didn't expect me to go to mass every week!
I'd go once in a good while to keep them happy if I had to. Don't think that would make me a hippocryte, I mean plenty of girls go to football / rugby matches to keep their bfs happy even if they have no interest.

Malari

dioltas wrote: »

I'd go out with a religious person. Wouldn't bother me tbh, so long as they didn't expect me to go to mass every week!
I'd go once in a good while to keep them happy if I had to. Don't think that would make me a hippocryte, I mean plenty of girls go to football / rugby matches to keep their bfs happy even if they have no interest.

:pac: They may go to keep them happy but at least they have no problem believing that all the players actually exist!

acontadino

no i find it disturbing.

coffee_cake

Jakkass wrote: »

I personally don't really care if an atheist would consider me in that way. Infact I would consider it their issue rather than mine.

Malari said "go out with someone like that " , not just "label them". Ofc it's their issue whether they want to GO OUT WITH someone or not.

Ickle Magoo

I don't think I have ever gone out with someone who was very religious...none of the Church every Sunday & Grace before meals variety anyway.

There are lots of little aspects of personality & the way people choose to live their lives that I don't find sexually attractive & tbh, an enthusiasm for religion would be one of them. I've dated non-practising theists & agnostics so it's not a case of ruling someone out before I even know them just for believing in God. If anything, I've been quite attracted to a religious person until they started getting "too" religious & I just find that a complete turn-off - not intentionally, it just is.

Certainly in terms of long-term relationships or marriage, I just couldn't be bothered clashing or having to compromise against my own judgement of raising children on every christening, baptism, school, etc argument.

I think I have always just been more attracted to men, probably somewhat subconsciously, who hold the same core (non?)beliefs as myself, even if we have different likes or dislikes in other respects.

Flamed Diving

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I don't think I have ever gone out with someone who was very religious...none of the Church every Sunday & Grace before meals variety anyway.

There are lots of little aspects of personality & the way people choose to live their lives that I don't find sexually attractive & tbh, an enthusiasm for religion would be one of them. I've dated non-practising theists & agnostics so it's not a case of ruling someone out before I even know them just for believing in God. If anything, I've been quite attracted to a religious person until they started getting "too" religious & I just find that a complete turn-off - not intentionally, it just is.

Certainly in terms of long-term relationships or marriage, I just couldn't be bothered clashing or having to compromise against my own judgement of raising children on every christening, baptism, school, etc argument.

I think I have always just been more attracted to men, probably somewhat subconsciously, who hold the same core (non?)beliefs as myself, even if we have different likes or dislikes in other respects.

Fancy a pint and a Ruby?