Could you go out with a religeous person?

Weidii

Just wondering what other peoples thoughts on this are.

Personally (and I know it's descrimination, I'm being brutally honest here) I just couldn't. The fact that someone is religeous suggests something about their personality/mindset to me, and it's that je-ne-sais-quoi that would turn me off.

Throughout my life I've always ended up being best friends with devoutly religeous people and from those experiences I'm making this judgement. Don't get me wrong, I get along with these people as buddies and they have all been great fun, etc, but I just couldn't spend my life with one.

...I hope this doesn't sound bad (it's not meant to)

ChocolateSauce

I'm in a relationship with someone who until about 3 months ago called herself a Jehova's Witness. She still has an irrational respect for them, something her mother has no doubt instilled in her.

But she was never a very good one! And I guess my outlook on life has rubbed off on her.

My first real partner was a wiccan, and that drove me up the wall. She'd say things like "I can sense some angry energy coming from you", thus making a self-fulfilling prophecy. But she became an atheist eventually, with the cajoling of my militant and unapologetically snide mother (we all lived together).

But I don't think I could even get on with someone who was actively religious. Passively, maybe...but not for a serious relationship. Issues like how to raise children would just be insurmountable.

Mena

Weidii wrote: »

Just wondering what other peoples thoughts on this are.

Personally (and I know it's descrimination, I'm being brutally honest here) I just couldn't. The fact that someone is religeous suggests something about their personality/mindset to me, and it's that je-ne-sais-quoi that would turn me off.

I'd pretty much agree with your sentiment. Just couldn't do it, as I'd never be able to respect the person or their judgement.

Trickier one would be: How to react when your wife/husband whatever suddenly becomes a religious fanatic... That one would scare me.

ChocolateSauce

Mena wrote: »

I'd pretty much agree with your sentiment. Just couldn't do it, as I'd never be able to respect the person or their judgement.

Trickier one would be: How to react when your wife/husband whatever suddenly becomes a religious fanatic... That one would scare me.

It would scare me too. If my partner suddenly went deep into the Jehova's Witness fold our relationship would become unworkable.

Imagine if there were kids involved and one partner had an evangelical religious conversion and insisted the children were brought up according to the customs of ancient barbarians?

Dades

Couldn't live with serious religion always in my face.

So it would never get as far as the the kids issue.

robindch

Depends on the kind of religion really. Can't imagine all that much trouble with a couple-of-times a year church-goer or perhaps even a sunday catholic, if she scores high everywhere else.

But that said, if they're the kind of person who puts their religious beliefs ahead of reality or the relationship, well, I wouldn't respect that over beer, let alone the next morning or five years down the line.

And what about the other side? Whatever about having to endure my opinions of organized religion on an ongoing basis, I wouldn't like to have somebody around who believed me intellectually incapacitated and who might try to "convert" me passively by spending years on her knees in a cold church, drip-feeding prayers into the silent rafters.

Anyhow, I'd be suspicious of a chick waiting for another bloke's second coming. I'll do that myself, thank you very much

iUseVi

Having been brought up in a devoutly religious family, I don't think I could stomach it. I am possibly letting the pendulum swing too far the other way, but I would probably even have problems with a couple-of-times a year church-goer type as Robindch mentions. (severely limits my options, I know...)

eoin5

For me she can believe whatever religion she wants and as long as she knows her beliefs are irrational. I cant see there being much overlap

Hivemind187

My last girlfriend was a bit of a tree-hugger and extremely suseptable to suggestion.

She had given up the majority of the christian stuff but had a habit of latching on to other spiritualities like buddhism and wicca. So much of which I can cope with.

When she turned vegan, abandonned western medicine and science in favor of "chakras" and "herbs" and "positive thinking" things really took a turn for the worse.

She's now hooked up with the Greek Orthodox church and believes that the use of shamanic rattles will alleviate the symptoms of her various "problems".

So I guess its not so much the religoous rubbish that bothers me as it is the abandonment of reason and evidence for superstition and magical thinking.

Galvasean

Are we talking church on Sunday religious or "Stop wearing clothes made of more tahn one kind of fabric!" religious?

On a side note, I used to go out with this girl. Shortly after we broke up she became 'Born Again', probably as some kind of bizarre sideswipe against my atheist ways.
Pfft, she didn't seem so Christian when she had her ankles around her neck. :pac:
Or when she decided polygamy suited her better. :mad:

Zillah

In terms of casual dating, sure.

In terms of a real relationship founded on respect and mutual understanding, not for a second.

brianthebard

Does she want to convert me? If she was happy with me being agnostic then there's no problem if she was putting pressure on me to join her faith I'd have a problem.

taram

I agree with the OP. My current love is agonostic so we're good We're going to raise our children agnostic. Wouldn't accept a friend who put their religious beliefs over other parts of their life either, though two of my friends are very strong in their respective religious beliefs, they know I'm as strong in my lack of and we never discuss religion, ever!

Weidii

It would also be interesting to hear the other side of this.

To any religious person who may be reading this:

Could you get into/stay in a relationship with an athiest, agnostic or *gasp* anti theist?

Dave!

hmmmm I'd probably find it hard to go out with someone who was very religious, or referenced god/jesus on a regular basis because I would find myself rolling my eyes on a constant basis when I'm around them. Usually if you don't respect someone or think they're a gobsh*te, then it'll make a relationship difficult.

I'd have no problem shagging one though.

ChocolateSauce

Dave! wrote: »

I'd have no problem shagging one though.

That made me think of Ann Coulter for some reason.

Dave!

She's a bit too masculine for my tastes............... and I think there's a threshold of INSANITY that I will not cross for love nor money! Nutjob of the highest order

robindch

Dave! wrote: »

I think there's a threshold of INSANITY that I will not cross

"Never sleep with anybody odder than you".

Calibos

You see we are backing ourselves into a corner here. We don't want to let ourselves fall for someone who we will only lose respect for when we find out they are religious or have Woo beliefs. So the obvious solution would be to try and hook up with ladies at the local secular humanist society/club where you are guaranteed a lady of the atheistic/agnostic persuasion. But then again, the type of girl in general who would join such a club would be more the activist type and if theres on thing that goes hand in hand with female activists its hairy armpits and an untrimmed thatch!! Whats a handsome atheist guy to do??

Galvasean

Calibos wrote: »

Whats a handsome atheist guy to do??

Screw around.

Dades

Galvasean wrote: »

Screw around.

Typical godless attitude. Tsk.

Zillah

Dades wrote: »

Typical godless attitude. Tsk.

God might forgive him as long as he doesn't use condoms.

Burial

The only time I'd have a problem with it, was if she kept converting me, and was only really with me for that reason. But if the girl knows that I won't be her religion and shes cool with it, then she can be as religion crazy as she likes! However, with kids she must also accept that the kids must choose their own paths... I'd be more worried of the kids becoming crazy religion people...

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I did it once, and won't do it again Was more of a problem with my partners parents than my partner. I was the devil in their eyes...

aidan24326

Dave! wrote: »

I'd have no problem shagging one though

Good man Dave, I like your style!

Same for me too, just as something casual it would be no problem, but for a long-lasting relationship I think it would be an issue if our views were that different. I suspect it wouldn't get that far.

Hivemind187

... you all realise we'll be branded intolerant-bigots for these statements?

Mena

Hivemind187 wrote: »

... you all realise we'll be branded intolerant-bigots for these statements?

Tolerance only goes so far, this one would bring me to my breaking point :pac:

estebancambias

LMAO...good luck getting partners in Ireland, and even if you can the talent on offer will be greatly sliced.

Galvasean

estebancambias wrote: »

LMAO...good luck getting partners in Ireland,

This opinion poll fills me with hope.
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055380182

estebancambias wrote: »

and even if you can the talent on offer will be greatly sliced.

Oh that's right, for the lord has smote us nonbelievers with festering boils and tarnished bodies :rolleyes:

Dades

estebancambias wrote: »

LMAO...good luck getting partners in Ireland, and even if you can the talent on offer will be greatly sliced.

Somebody's not getting any...

aidan24326

Hivemind187 wrote: »

... you all realise we'll be branded intolerant-bigots for these statements?

Yeah probably!

It isn't intolerant at all though, it's just that in general we tend to gravitate towards people of at least a reasonably similiar mindset, and religious views would be a significant part of that. I wouldn't say I'd like to agree with my wife/gf on everything, that would be no fun. But if we were diametrically opposed I suspect that would be a problem for me and for most people.