Trying to conceive/Planned parenthood/Assisted Reproduction Chat thread.

Tigeress

And look where you are now DFT I'm so happy for you! Hopefully I'll be as lucky soon! 18 months trying now..

barbiegirl

DetectiveFoxtrot I couldn't be happier and both I and the hubbie love you photos, he agrees a gummybear is just about right. So cute :-) The same to all the other good newsers I am delighted for ye.

Tigress I'm like you, my due date would have been tomorrow and it is hard. I'm a bit down at the moment, sister in law announced her pregnancy on Sunday and I am genuinely very happy for her, but can't help feeling it will never be our turn. This month hubbie was ill for some of the days we should have been trying so not much hope. Plus I know I didn't have the fertile mucus stuff so that says a lot really.

Still chin up, accupuncture today. I can only do, what I can do.

talkin

Now four days late, dont Want to test in fear of a negative, been having mood swings a bit cranky sore breasts on and off defo fatigued these could be symptoms of either! Ud know it in ur gutt though I'm sure if I actually was pregnant and I'm defo not convinced

CathyMoran

DetectiveFoxTrot - our daugher has been consistently late with the dates (last period was 5th September) but she has always measured a week later than that and I am over 27 weeks now. Your litte baby looks beautiful! I was doing ovulation tests that month and did not pick it up, we just had a policy of having fun as much as possible! Good luck with your pregnancy.

barbiegirl

talkin wrote: »

Now four days late, dont Want to test in fear of a negative, been having mood swings a bit cranky sore breasts on and off defo fatigued these could be symptoms of either! Ud know it in ur gutt though I'm sure if I actually was pregnant and I'm defo not convinced

It's always scary to do the test. But I'd buy one today and do it in the morning. Fingers crossed for you

Tigeress

Barbiegirl, I'm so sorry for your loss & due dates make it all the harder.. I had a good cry last week & now just trying to stay positive about this months try! I don't have any discharge showing at all so far this month & hoping the ovulation sticks will give me the go ahead anyways I know our turn is just around the corner Hun so chin up our babies will be so loved when they get here

lizzie02v

Thank you for your replies. It really is devastating to lose a baby. You experience such happiness and then in a flash it is taken away from you. You develop such a bond with the baby and I began to think after 12 weeks I was in a safe zone. I cant believe I lost my baby and everything was going so well. I keep thinking back and everything was fine. There were no signs of anything wrong and then I go into labour too early. I am dreading the thoughts of being told i will have to get a cerclage but I really will do anything to have a beautiful healthy baby. What are the success rates of the cerclage? Are there many people who have had it and still lose their baby. Or is the sucess rate so high that it pretty much guarantees you a chance to carry baby full term.

DetectivFoxtrot

CathyMoran wrote: »

I was doing ovulation tests that month and did not pick it up, we just had a policy of having fun as much as possible! Good luck with your pregnancy.

I know what you mean. I certainly got to a stage when I went overboard with the ovulation kits and the temping and checking cervical mucous. At one point I lost sight of the most important thing - regular sex! lol. The 'have fun' policy is definitely the best one

DetectivFoxtrot

talkin wrote: »

Now four days late, dont Want to test in fear of a negative, been having mood swings a bit cranky sore breasts on and off defo fatigued these could be symptoms of either! Ud know it in ur gutt though I'm sure if I actually was pregnant and I'm defo not convinced

TEST TEST TEST you have some willpower girl!

barbiegirl wrote: »

Plus I know I didn't have the fertile mucus stuff so that says a lot really.

don't count yourself out because of this Barbie girl. I have had no fertile mucous for a long time now, including my pg cycle. It's not the be all and end all. Try Pre~seed if your worried about being dry. I've been using it the past 6 months, and again used it on my pg cycle.
One word of warning - don't plan your sex schedule around all of these 'signs' (or lack thereof) as that can cause you to miss the crucial day. Keep having regular sex (even past the day you suspected you ovulated) every three days, and once a day around ovulation day (i.e. day before, day of and day after). Twice a day around ovulation is too much imo, I'm a firm believer that the soldiers need 24 hours to fully replenish.
The ultrasound tech said something interesting yesterday. She says she does 'follicle tracking' as part of her job (presumably for IUI's etc) and she said she has seen many women who got a + ovulation test and then went on to actually ovulate 3/4 days later! She reckons that could be a reason why I'm measuring behind. She said women can put too much faith in the kits, i.e. getting a positive today means ovulation tomorrow, not always the case says she. All the test does is demonstrates that the hormone that will MAKE you ovulate is surging, it's doesn't confirm if or when you ovulate. interesting stuff.

Tigeress

That is interesting DFT! I know the ovulation sticks I'm using say that when it shows positive that I'll ovulate within 48 hours.. I figure we'll go 3/4 days in a row when I get the positive and then every 2 days again to be sure! I really want this month to be our month but no signs from my body so far so think it's maybe not gonna happen this month now..
Still, staying positive

DetectivFoxtrot

just a quick log on to say my gummy bear's heart stopped beating yesterday.
Lost of cramping, blood and clots last night, went to A&E and stayed for the night (i.e. slept on a trolley in a busy corridor - what a super country we live in).

Scan this morning shows all tissue is still inside (2 sacs and gummy bear) but no more heartbeat. Cervix closed. I couldn't believe I was looking at the exact same image as I did when we got scanned on Monday, but just no flickering hb anymore.
I want to try and pass everything naturally so have delayed potential d&c til next week.

Devastated beyond words.

Knew it was too good to be true... should have trusted my instinct on the spotting and acted earlier, maybe I could have prevented this... am so guilt ridden

May79

So sorry Detective - Can't believe that. Such a hard time. I miscarried at 8 weeks before - Just get through it whatever way you can. Talk loads to your DP and don't close yourself away from people who care.

CathyMoran

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

just a quick log on to say my gummy bear's heart stopped beating yesterday.
Lost of cramping, blood and clots last night, went to A&E and stayed for the night (i.e. slept on a trolley in a busy corridor - what a super country we live in).

Scan this morning shows all tissue is still inside (2 sacs and gummy bear) but no more heartbeat. Cervix closed. I couldn't believe I was looking at the exact same image as I did when we got scanned on Monday, but just no flickering hb anymore.
I want to try and pass everything naturally so have delayed potential d&c til next week.

Devastated beyond words.

Knew it was too good to be true... should have trusted my instinct on the spotting and acted earlier, maybe I could have prevented this... am so guilt ridden

Huge hugs, I am sorry for your loss.

Lucyfur

DFT, I'm so so so sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

Please don't be guilt ridden, please don't xxx

Unfortunately if a miscarriage is going to happen, there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

I really don't know what to say....sending love and huge to you and Mr DFT.

I'm only a PM away if you ever need a chat/vent/cry xxx

dublinlady

detective - I am so so so so sorry.
I cannot start to imagine how your feeling. I lost at 7 weeks last august, that was only after a couple of months of trying, i know how much this baby meant to you, i know how much and how long you had wished for it. Your baby is an angel now, i believe in god, and i believe your baby is with him. This baby was not meant for this world, please dont even start to let yourself feel guilty, there is nothing you could do, i know when i lont my angel i kept going back over every single day trying to figure out what i did wrong...it led to nothing...no answers..and no peace. There is no answers, there is no reason. Your baby is at peace now, and with time you will come to peace with that. Its a hard difficult path, but let yourself feel the pain along the way, its the only way to get through it. Its so sad. its horrible. nothing i can say can help. im so sorry.

Please if there is anything i can do to help just pm me, if u ever need a chat.

I havent been on here much in last couple of weeks cos on my 'rubella vaccine month off'. trying to keep my mind off it all.

When i saw your message i was truly devastated. i hope your ok. x

barbiegirl

DFT myself and hubbie are so sorry and send you all our hugs and prayers. Nothing we say can help, we know. Gummybear is in heaven and will never be forgotten. :-(

Neyite

Oh, Detective. I got so upset for you when I read your post - I am so so sorry to hear your terrible news. My deepest condolences to you and your husband on this loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Massive hugs.

Quins5

Detective Im so so sorry for your loss, we lost our little one at 8 wks just b4 C'mas and the devastation is unspeakable and there is nothing anyone can say
Try to take care of yourself and take as much time as you need. I dont think I left the house for nearly 2 weeks

My heart is breaking for you x

crazy cat lady

Detective I am so sorry

There are no words that will make you feel any better, only time (and lots of it!) will help to ease the pain. Just remember that you are in good company here as so many of us have experienced the utter devastation that losing a baby brings.

Remember that you are a mother now. The nappies and the sleepless nights may be put on hold for a while, but you know the love and worry and all the other emotions that a child awakens in you. There are some poor children in the world who have never experienced as much love as what you have for your little angel.

There really was nothing you could have done to prevent this so try not to blame yourself. Take care x

DetectivFoxtrot

thanks for your kind thought and wishes. I feel a little better today, couldn't stop sobbing all day yesterday.

Today I passed large volumes of clots so I think my body is taking care of things naturally thank god. There was some grey matter and I think that was the embie and sacs etc. The volume coming out was quite scary but not painful at all.
Definitely want to avoid D&C if I can help it. I am scheduled for another scan on Monday in the Coombe and am confident that everything will have been expelled by then. I have been onto HARI clinic and the doc is due to call me back to advise on starting ttc again (and possibly Clomid) asap.

It's amazing how quickly your body reverts to 'non pregnant mode'. My pouch is gone and tummy is totally flat now - that made me sad, I've already dropped the couple of pounds I put on (probably due to the shock of everything). My other symptoms (nausea, fatigue, sore boobs) have been gone for over a week, and that was another cause of concern for me. Really, I believe I've been miscarrying very slowly for over a week or so, baby's lack of growth coincided with the beginning of the spotting, it's all sort of falling into place.

thanks again for all your kind thoughts.I just have to keep reminding myself that I am one in four and that it's not my fault

x

Lucyfur

Glad you're feeling a little better DFT xxx

Be kind to yourself over the next while, thinking of you x

spingler

oh df I am so so sorry for yere loss. When i read your post i was so devestated for you and your oh. Its just so awful, and sad for you. look after yourself ... my only experience of this is when i was visiting a friend before xmas and she began to lose her baby while i was there, like that there was just no reason or explanation for it. thinking of you... take care ((hugs))

Tigeress

DFT I'm am so very very very sorry for your loss as the other ladies have already said there is nothing that can be said or written that will make this any easier... I can say that after my 2nd miscarriage I found this chat & talking about it has really helped! Nothing can ever fill the void you feel right now but over time it does get easier.. You will always think of your Gummy Bear & have your pictures to remember.. I hope you're doing ok & if you need to talk or anything hum feel free to pm me I'm thinking of you hun xxx

Tigeress

I'm on day 18 of my 30/32 day cycle & using ovulation sticks but still no sign of Ovulating I'm still hopeful & trying to stay positive for this month.. Although in saying that we're having lots of fun Has anyone any suggestions on clinics to go too? Is it expensive to see a specialist or do you go through the public system? Sorry in advance for all the questions..

caprilicious

DetectiveFoxtrot, I am so very sorry for your loss x I really am so sorry, I haven't been on in a few days & only read your news now.
I hope you and your husband are ok at this sad time.

Please don't feel guilty at all, I went in as soon as I started spotting and the outcome was the same.
I don't think there is a thing they can do under the circumstances & you are hurting enough without feeling guilt too.

Take care of yourself, it doesn't seem like it now, but it will get easier.

caprilicious

Tigeress wrote: »

Has anyone any suggestions on clinics to go too? Is it expensive to see a specialist or do you go through the public system? Sorry in advance for all the questions..

I think it depends on where you are, most of the clinics near me charge €150 - 200 for an initial consultation & about €50 less each time for subsequent appointments.
Yet I found another local clinic where I attended a gynaeocologist for €75 per consultation.
Definitely seems to be worth your while shopping around so.

Lucyfur

Hi everyone,

Just a little update on my situation. I woke up to heavy bleeding this morning. I'm just back from the hospital. I'm miscarrying:( Have to go back in for another blood test on Sunday to determine whether I'll need a D&C.

Devastated beyond belief.

xxx

barbiegirl

Ah Lucyfur I am so sorry. I know there is nothing anyone can say, I've been there. Just mind yourself, cry, hug your partner loads and talk to him. Big hugs

Neyite

Lucyfur,

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. There is nothing that can be said at times like these, so just wanted to tell you I'm thinking and praying for you.

Big hugs. xX

DetectivFoxtrot

OMG Lucyfur, this is so terrible, what the hell is going on, so unfair.
(((hugs)))
PM me for anything, can't believe we are going through this at the same time :(:(

thinking of you.

CCL said a lovely thing the other day. We are mothers now. Doesn't matter that our babies weren't born. This is the start of something new for both of us, heartbreaking and all that it is.

Pain-wise I hope you aren't suffering too much xxx