The Funny Side of Religion

Galvasean

Come on somebody else post. I'm 'starting' to look like a freak!

mikhail

Galvasean wrote: »

Come on somebody else post. I'm 'starting' to look like a freak!

I don't find this one all that funny, but it's topical.

Coriolanus

TNTQ

Sorry if its a repost...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGRVsSS5vrc

Zaph

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olCA4j1iMu0

Turtwig

[IMG][/img]

Galvasean

Delirium

0verblood

Galvasean

5 deleted Bible scenes where Jesus kicked ass!
http://www.cracked.com/article_18948_5-real-deleted-bible-scenes-in-which-jesus-kicks-some-ass.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended

rightyabe

Saw this and thought of you guys......:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qnq7N6X4x84&feature=more_related

mewso

The Moses cartoon reminded me of History of the World Part 1 from good old Mel Brooks. Plenty of religious humour in there. About half-way through this video is Moses parting the red sea:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9l7C6fjvgE

And who can forget the Last Supper:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA1sx-vyWVk

strobe

Well..... it made me laugh....


The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
Grumpy leads the pack.

"Grumpy, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?"

Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf
nuns in Rome ?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment
and answers, "No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome ."

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all
of Europe ?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
"No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe .

"This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry
glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, "Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns
anywhere in the world?"

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my
son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing,
pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin
chanting......

"Grumpy shagged a penguin!"
"Grumpy shagged a penguin!"

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=69254928&postcount=138

dead one

Malty_T wrote: »

[IMG][/img]

strobe wrote:

Well..... it made me laugh............

I have reason for your little laughing. Sorry to disturb you.....

So let them laugh a littleand [then] weep much:mad: as recompense for what they used to earn.(Quran 9:82)

It doesn't mean i am stopping you from laughing, It means laugh as much as you can.
i won't disturb your laughing again

sponsoredwalk

dead one wrote: »

I have reason for your little laughing. Sorry to disturb you.....

So let them laugh a littleand [then] weep muchas recompense for what they used to earn.(Quran 9:82)

It doesn't mean i am stopping you from laughing, It means laugh as much as you can.
i won't disturb your laughing again

I can't find those smileys in my copy of the Qur'an...

dead one

sponsoredwalk wrote: »

I can't find those smileys in my copy of the Qur'an...

This isn't misquoting, This is explanation laughing simile represents "laugh a little:D" , Anger simile represents "weep much:mad:". I m greater fool if i misquote Quran. So laugh as much as you can. :rolleyes:

robindch

strobe wrote: »

"Grumpy shagged a penguin!"

Think I was in primary school, in the mid 1970's, when I heard that joke first... :eek:

legspin

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it," the nun said.
"When did you use this awful language?" the Mother Superior asks. Answered the nun:
"Well, I was golfing and hit this fabulous drive that looked like it was going to go 280 yards, but it struck a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground only 100 yards from the tee."
"Is that when you cursed?"
"No, Mother Superior," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."
"Is that when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior.
"Well, no," says the nun. "As the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is that when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear then?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole." The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed and said,
"You missed the putt didn't you?"

JBnaglfar

Apologies if already posted.

mikhail

JBnaglfar wrote: »

Apologies if already posted.

No need. It's so amazingly pointed that it cracks me up every time.

Links234

Pompey Magnus

Any chance we could get this flowchart strictly followed by the posters in "The Bible, Creationism And Prophecy" thread in Christianity? If so I reckon it would finally kill off that monstrosity...



(shamelessly stolen from the You Laugh You Lose thread in AH)

Links234

liamw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LWh6-Zyj4E

Turtwig

Well this one is probably real old (came across while searching through my email archive -2002)

Teacher stands in the front of the class and says "Right class, I have here
a new £5 coin. I will reward the person who can give me the correct answer
to this question."

"Who," she says "Is the most famous man in the world"

Andrew sticks up his hand "David Beckham Miss"

"Not quite," says the teacher, "but well done."

Lee sticks up his hand "Bill Gates Miss"

"Not quite, " says the teacher again "but well done."

Suddenly little Paul Goldstein sticks up his hand "It's Jesus Miss" he says.

"Well done Paul" says the teacher "Quite correct, here's the prize."

She pauses for a second.

"Although, Paul, I'm surprised you said Jesus, due to your faith...."

"Yes Miss," says Paul, "In my heart it's Moses, but business is business"

Improbable

I just came across the most ridiculous verse out of deuteronomy. It's so downright silly, I actually chortled milk out my nose.

Deuteronomy 23:12-14

"Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you."

or my preferred version - "if you poop, cover it so that god doesnt step in some dung"

Galvasean

Basic manners. Don't crap where you eat.

sensibleken

that seems like one of the most sensible ones. read the one in leviticus about burning pigeons every time you take a whiz

robindch

Galvasean wrote: »

Basic manners. Don't crap where you eat.

Very basic manners.

One would wonder what level of civilization they, and presumably the rest of the old testaments laws, were aimed at.

Galvasean

sensibleken wrote: »

that seems like one of the most sensible ones. read the one in leviticus about burning pigeons every time you take a whiz

There's a full list here:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/27062565/The-laws-detailed-in-the-Book-of-Leviticus

Crime
If you accidentally touch anything “unclean” from a human – such as urine, faeces, pus, semen or any menstrual blood.

Punishment
Ignite and char a pigeon, and give a second pigeon to a priest for
his supper.

I love the Bible.

robindch wrote: »

Very basic manners.

One would wonder what level of civilization they, and presumably the rest of the old testaments laws, were aimed at.

Never overestimate the common denominator of society. When I was in first year of secondary school we had to do a once off 'social skills' class. One of the things we were told was the correct method of wiping one's arse. Now bear in mind we were all at least 12 years old at the time. WTF?!?!?!