Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

One-Liner Jokes

Options
1…1516182021…190

Comments

  • Options
    #512
    brian_boru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭brian_boru


    The singers name from Gun's 'N Roses - Axl Rose - is also an anagram.


  • Options
    #513
    BaZmO*
    Registered Users Posts: 18,625 ✭✭✭✭BaZmO*


    brian_boru wrote:
    The singers name from Gun's 'N Roses - Axl Rose - is also an anagram.
    An anagram of what?


  • Options
    #514
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    of...


  • Options
    #515
    brown*eyed*girl
    Registered Users Posts: 441 ✭✭brown*eyed*girl


    oral sex perhaps?


  • Options
    #516
    BaZmO*
    Registered Users Posts: 18,625 ✭✭✭✭BaZmO*


    :eek: OMG!!! Won't somebody please think of the children!!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #517
    brian_boru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭brian_boru


    yep!!!


  • Options
    #518
    brown*eyed*girl
    Registered Users Posts: 441 ✭✭brown*eyed*girl


    BaZmO* wrote:
    :eek: OMG!!! Won't somebody please think of the children!!

    There are kids in here?!

    I only guessed that - wow how clever of me :v:


  • Options
    #519
    brian_boru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭brian_boru


    brown*eyed*girl wrote:
    I only guessed that - wow how clever of me :v:

    shows u have a dirty mind lol :rolleyes:


  • Options
    #520
    brown*eyed*girl
    Registered Users Posts: 441 ✭✭brown*eyed*girl


    brian_boru wrote:
    shows u have a dirty mind lol :rolleyes:

    Being Axl Rose I knew it'd have to be something a bit durty!


  • Options
    #521
    brian_boru
    Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭brian_boru


    brown*eyed*girl wrote:
    Being Axl Rose I knew it'd have to be something a bit durty!

    Ya Ya Ya...:D


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #522
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    anyone have any recent funny text messages or short enough jokes
    i'm sick of the same old ones


  • Options
    #523
    Ishmael
    Registered Users Posts: 1,460 ✭✭✭Ishmael


    how do you catch a gorilla?

    hide in a tree and make sounds like a banana


  • Options
    #524
    BaZmO*
    Registered Users Posts: 18,625 ✭✭✭✭BaZmO*


    I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "He's trying to pull a fast one."


  • Options
    #525
    r3nu4l
    Registered Users Posts: 17,399 ✭✭✭✭r3nu4l


    One liner: I was thinking of procrastinating today but then I said, nah, I'll leave it untill tomorrow.


  • Options
    #526
    keevita
    Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭keevita


    why did the scarecrow receive an award? he was outstanding in his field. :D


  • Options
    #527
    Milk Lover
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26 ✭Milk Lover


    Whats black and white and read all over?











    A sunburnt pinguin.


  • Options
    #528
    The_Goddess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭The_Goddess


    What's black and white and eats like a horse?

    A Zebra!

    Funny coz its true!


  • Options
    #529
    tosh_thedude
    Registered Users Posts: 485 ✭✭tosh_thedude


    A Dyslexic man walks into a bra......


  • Options
    #530
    times2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4 ✭times2


    did ya hear bout the scarecrow who was awarded a nobel peace prize???he was outstanding in his field!!!

    if anyone would like to hear more crude and sick ones let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Options
    #531
    BaZmO*
    Registered Users Posts: 18,625 ✭✭✭✭BaZmO*


    times2 wrote:
    did ya hear bout the scarecrow who was awarded a nobel peace prize???he was outstanding in his field!!!

    if anyone would like to hear more crude and sick ones let me know!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Did you read the post just a couple before yours?


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #532
    Bsnipes
    Registered Users Posts: 39 ✭Bsnipes


    Why couldnt spock go to the toilet???




    Cos he saw the captains log!!!:D


  • Options
    #533
    zippo22
    Closed Accounts Posts: 182 ✭✭zippo22


    How do you starve a Mexican?

    Hide his food stamps under his workin' boots.


  • Options
    #534
    Wickla in Blaa
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Wickla in Blaa


    Why do Elephants have Big Ears?

    Cos Noddy won't pay the ransom ;)


  • Options
    #535
    Wickla in Blaa
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Wickla in Blaa


    Whats Winne the Poohs middle name?
    The

    Why do Giraffes have such long necks?
    So they reach their heads

    Whats the difference between an apple and an orange?
    a pear because a banana can't ride a bike

    Why'd the mushroom go to the party?
    cos he was a fungii

    Why'd he come home?
    there wasn't mushroom

    What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    FSH (sorry it works better said, obviously)


  • Options
    #536
    dohouch
    Registered Users Posts: 1,532 ✭✭✭dohouch


    1% of men like women with thin thighs.
    6% of men like women with fat thighs.


    The rest like

















    something in the middle.

    We're not suffering, only complaining 😞



  • Options
    #537
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,749 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Why is the starship Enterprise like toilet paper ?
    Because it circles Uranus looking for Klingons.

    Why are giraffes so cheap to feed ?
    Because even a little food goes a long way.

    What can lie on it's back a hundred foot off the ground ?
    A centipede


  • Options
    #538
    Ra1ph
    Closed Accounts Posts: 85 ✭✭Ra1ph


    HOW DO YOU COOK A MONKEY??
    GORILLA....Ha!Ha!Ha!


  • Options
    #539
    davekdk
    Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭davekdk


    What do you call an Irishman who breaks up fights?

    Liam Malone!!!


  • Options
    #540
    thepodger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6 ✭thepodger


    Why do cowboys always have sh1t on their moustasches ?

    Ever heard the song "Looking for Love in all the wrong places"


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #541
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????"

    I didn't post the rest 'cause that was the funny bit. :D


Advertisement