One-Liner Jokes

Second Toughest in_the Freshers

While health freaks join their sister-organisation, The K-K-Kale...

Dtp1979

K-K-Krap

Hanley

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.

Hanley

This may have been done... but it's my favourite joke ever so here goes:

What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

I can marmalade my dick up your hole.

Comer1

Hanley wrote: »

This may have been done...

With such diversity in people's sexual activities these days, I'm sure it has.

Second Toughest in_the Freshers

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange?

Rob Thomas

What was Mozarts favourite fruit ?

A Ban ana na

Eglinton

Rob Thomas wrote: »

What was Mozarts favourite fruit ?

A Ban ana na

Eh, Beethoven, I think

Dtp1979

Second Toughest in_the Freshers wrote: »

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange?

?

Second Toughest in_the Freshers

You can't have an apple parade,

(or something like that...)

pebbles21

My girlfriend told me she has an obession with The Monkees

I tought she was taking the piss..But then i saw her face!

Rob Thomas

Eglinton wrote: »

Eh, Beethoven, I think

A 5 year old told me. I'll let her off .

Gamer Bhoy 89

One night I had a dream that I was eating a big marshmallow.

I woke up and realized my pillow was missing.

:pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

donegal_man

My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.

petziem

I accidently came across this site this morning. Would like to browse fora while


Anne

Shannon757

petziem wrote: »

I accidently came across this site this morning. Would like to browse fora while


Anne

Good to know.

Xenophile

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Xenophile

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Xenophile

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."

Xenophile

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing

Xenophile

Q: Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?
A: Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Xenophile

I am so ugly when I tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Gerard3003

My wife wanted a dog but I didn't so we compromised.
We now have a dog.

Worztron

Why doesn't Jesus play first-person shooter games?

It takes him 3 days to respawn.

Worztron

Why was the feminist picnic canceled?

Because nobody made sandwiches.

gammygils

Did you ever see the film "Tractor"

No but I saw a trailer for it!

Xenophile

Ronnie Corbett RIP, his death was announced today.

For me here is one of his best one liners...........

It was revealed in a government survey published today that the prime minister is doing the work of two men, Laurel and Hardy.


Thanks for the laughs Ronnie !

Oblomov

Four Candles

Mastermond

Classic C and B

byrner88

Xenophile wrote: »

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

"What did the horny frog say?"

"Rub-it" "Rub-it"

Xenophile

A teenager walked up to my girlfriend and said " your legs are a lovely colour, where did you get it " ?