Anyone tried dating agency??

Never tried Dating Agencies but I know a couple of girls who have and the common theme seems to be nightmare experience(s) and waste of money.

It's a pity single women in Ireland have such a hard time finding ways to meet men sober.

I was set up with my other half through a mutual friend. I just don't trust myself to make an important decision like choosing a life partner unless I'm in my full senses.

The pub scene is a whole barrel of issues. You see a fellow you like: you won't be able to hear one word out of three he says, so you won't have a clue about his personality.

Making the move: do you stand there passively making goo-goo eyes? Do you brazenly walk up and pray he's not waiting for his girlfriend? What if you're not up to his standards and he shakes his head at you? Worse, what if you're not up to his standards but he just wants to use you for practice then stops calling?

Your friends are probably there, and so are his, so you're both going to be nervous about getting shot down.

There's a man behind the bar selling ethanol mixed nicely which will reduce your anxiety but also wreck your ability to make sensible decisions.

So, two drunk anxious people, who can't hear each other speak, being judged by their social circles, trying to figure out if they should try to start a process that has the ultimate aim of merging their lives together.

And that's the very best we can do? That's the pinnacle of the Irish way of forming romances?

I hope our culture eventually manages to find a better way.

Katgurl wrote: »

Yes a few years ago. A terrible experience. I would not recommend. Tinder (or equivalent) and real-life stuff like clubs etc are a way better bet. I know they are time-consuming and frustrating but think about it; it is very rare to meet someone you connect with. How likely is it that they will be on the books of your matchmaker?

I met my guy on tinder a couple of years later. I had to date a lit of frogs first though unfortunately.

Exactly, I was involved in such thing, because of a friend of mine, so sharing your experience.
Hookup sites (http://onenightstand1.com/sex-hookup-sites) and apps like Tinder, Bumble, Down, Pure, etc can do a much better job and most of them is free to use...
Or simple examining social circles of your friends on FaceBook can do sometimes a job...

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Guys want speed on dating sites, whereas women want comfort. The two things don't align. Feeling like you're just a number and you've received a cut-and-copy message or an uninventive "hi how are you" is about as romantic as a hole in the head.

Not everyone can be a wordsmith. That's why I don't recommend social media except as a means of meeting people in real life. I think meetups should be where it's at.

If you can't see a person in real life, you won't know if you have chemistry.

Katgurl wrote: »

erudec wrote: »

The problem there is that Tinder filters out all the people who don't photograph well, or just don't know how to take a good picture. Lots of men look a lot better in person than on a phone screen.

By depending on Tinder instead of real life, you're also going up against harder competition. If you meet a person in real life, you can let your personality and body language help you.

But on Tinder, he may get another match with a boring, stupid cold-hearted girl who just looks amazing on a phone screen.

I'd bet huge money that couples who met on Tinder will have vastly more divorces than couples who met face-to-face.

Does anyone think the opposite?

In short, join whatever agency or website that helps you see people for the first time in real life, face to face. Use Tinder for casual, first-date sex, if that is what you enjoy, because that's what it is for. It's a gay men's casual sex app for people with the desire for immediate, anonymous, relationship-free sex.

That's not me, and I don't think it's for many women on boards.ie. For a few nymphomaniacs, it is perfect, but those girls know how to pick men up in real life too. And the men who do well on Tinder are very eager to meet the nymphos. Nymphos are much more likely to be able to do all the complicated tricks that porn actresses do. I would need years of yoga and fitness training to do that stuff, even if I was so inclined.  

I'm saying: social media is only good as an introduction. If you actually want to select a guy without meeting him first, you have to accept that the chances of it going badly are much higher.

I don't agree with this. Tinder doesn't have to replace real life. The two aren't mutually exclusive. I wasn't interested in hookups so i made that clear. I met guys IRL but just happened to meet my boyfriend on tinder. (Granted, he had a few casual encounters on it before me.)

When using tinder i was quite open-minded about the pics but ruthless about the messaging. If they didnt catch my attention / tried to make the conversation sexual  early on in used the unmatch function. It's better to get a date organised quite quickly I'm if he looks and sounds interesting. No need to go sharing all your personal info or innermost thoughts, just see do you have rapport.

 That is "positive" usage of Tinder I would say ...  I mean better than other people (women) using it...

Emme wrote: »

he would have no need to fork out the guts of a grand to join a dating agency. That is why women have such dire experiences with dating agencies. The men just aren't there.

(Jaw drops)

H... how much?

Going to meetups is free. And you meet the men directly. Cripes!

Here's a simple scenario, that should be free or at least low-cost. Anyone who likes can take the idea and put it into practice.

Set up a meetup group. It's free.

Specify that it's for people who want to meet others with the intention of finding a romantic partner. Not just purely friendly non-romantic craic. Literally all of the other meetup groups are for craic, so you're spoiled for choice if you want craic and also aren't looking.

No matchmakers, but you will have people who lead icebreaking games (you can download hundreds online for free, some are fun and they all help promote human interaction which is the name of the game).

All the women wear a 2-digit odd number badge, very clearly written, big numbers. Men wear an even number badge, avoid sixes and nines, or just use one or the other. All sevens must have a stroke in them to tell them apart from ones.

At some point in the evening, everyone gets a bit of paper with their number on it. They put the number of the person they like in a sealed box. If they don't like anyone they write 00.

The sealed box is later opened by someone who wasn't there, and doesn't know who the numbers refer to. He counts up the matches and makes arrangements to link up the people who matched, without knowing who they are. Then he burns or pulps the paper when done.

So you're good for data protection, because nobody has identifying information, and nobody is humiliated in public by making a move and being rejected.

It doesn't need to cost any money, or at least not much money. If every participant pays three euro, that should fairly reward the person who matches up the numbers and sends the messages. If it's an organised person, he should be able to send the matches out online easily enough within two hours.

It's easy to send password protected messages.

This takes care of all the essentials: you meet people who are looking, you get a clear chance to express interest without public humiliation, you can completely see and hear them, and your privacy is very well guarded, and only tiny amounts of money are involved.

This is a trivially easy problem, it seems.

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Isn't that essentially how speed dating works?

I'd suspect there wouldn't be a whole sea of matches anyway, with all the fellas going for the same hot girl and all the girls going for the same eligible bachelor :pac:

Not a difficult fix: every participant can only be chosen by 3 people. It requires a little bit more planning, but you can make it so that the sexiest people are maxed out quickly and people have to look at the middle-rank folks. And you can preserve anonymity too.

There's some common sense that has to be applied. If it's a bunch of middle-aged ladies plus Katy Perry, maybe this isn't the right place for Katy.

You can discourage extreme front-runners (whose motives might be a bit suspect if they're sniffing around people who are far below their league) in a lot of creative ways.

Mags2018 wrote: »

Calling all single ladies in the ladies lounge we need to come up with a plan for uniting people wanting the same thing !!!!??
Forget your speed dating and matchmaking agencies - something else must be waiting to be explored - shouldn't be this hard
Anyone into events planning !!?? ;-)

Well, I'm off the market but I don't like seeing people single against their will ( because I didn't particularly like it myself) so I am all for people grasping the nettle.

Go out and help arrange to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince! Or, failing that, your Michael Jackson.

Mags2018 wrote: »

And you sounded like a great catch !!!!

Ya I think when I wrote that I was having a moment of optimism but I think the already existing Meet up groups is the way to go...I have signed up and if I go to a few and get to know some other members, then maybe getting an event organised through that channel is better, certainly not beyond the realms of possibility

Watch this space 😬

Knock 'em dead, don't be too shy, treat it like an adventure and take precautions!

Emme wrote: »

Meetup is for making friends, it isn't a knocking shop. There's plenty of that on Tinder.

That's very much down to every individual person at every individual meetup. Unless they require you to physically sign a "NO ROMANCES PERMITTED" document and pay a fee, there's no substance to what you say.

I do hope that Joyless Puritanism has its own separate meetup from everyone else, though.

It must be awful to be around happy people.

As I said, using Tinder to find a long-term relationship is like trying to cut down a tree with a screwdriver. You might be able to manage it, but it's not the right tool for the job. It's a straightforward copy of a gay male anonymous sex app, which isn't really what most women, straight or gay, are looking for.

Mags2018 wrote: »

Okay ladies I'll think we'll have to agree to disagree. I have never tried meetup groups so I am just casting my net a bit further.
It's something for people like myself who have limited amount of single friends left to go out with anymore but I also like to "get out" and do stuff! Rather than be indoors on the Internet hoping to hit the jackpot !!
I'm not knocking either and I do believe it's down to the individual and what their comfortable with.
Peace out 😊

Sent from my iPhone

Go for it, sweetie!

A few more random thoughts about Tinder:

If you use Tinder you will absolutely certainly meet men on it. Just remember that all the other women on Tinder can also see the same men that you like, and unless you have extremely unusual tastes in men, a very large group of other women on Tinder will probably be as interested in him as you are.

Women are not like men. When we find a very large group of men show an interest in us, most of us are not inclined to have sex with all of them one after the other, or at the same time.

With men however, rather a lot of them want to do precisely that, subconsciously at least. Indeed, the men who have no interest at all in doing that seem to be a minority.

Mags2018 wrote: »

Thanks !!
Think I have enough knowledge now and as they say forewarned is to be forearmed.
Good to get different perspectives on this as sometimes you wonder what your doing wrong.
Appreciate all the advise/comments ....should have joined boards years ago!!??

Regrets are like hot potatoes: the longer you hold on to them the less happy you'll be.

Emme wrote: »

The people I know in meetup didn't initially join to meet a partner. .

If they did, do you really think that you're the type of person whom they'd be comfortable enough to open up to?

I'm guessing they'd be afraid of you shaming them for the crime of wanting to find love.

Mags2018 wrote: »

Agree with katgul. Don't part with your hard earned cash and hand it over to these the place I regrettably used was horrendous so unprofessional so so rude and arrogant - once they take your money you'll never hear from them and if you read all the previous posts on dating agencies they more or less say the same thing. Unfortunately I didn't read them before signing up.

I also signed up with a dating agency and parted with a lot of money. I feel so upset about the whole experience. I was supposed to have 5 dates but after 7 months I went on one date.
It all seems very suspect and the guy who deals with you over the phone is extremely aggressive and intimidating. When I spoke about being unhappy about having one date and the only other potential date being with a man who lived almost 3 hours away he scoffed and said I had unrealistic expectations and that I clearly didn’t listen when he first gave his pitch. The whole thing seems like a scam. He told me they arrange a hundred dates a week. I can’t understand why I haven’t had more than one if that’s the case.
Sorry for the rant here but I’ve been so upset and it seems like there’s very little that can be done about how I’ve been treated. When I tried to find reviews about their agency I couldn’t find this thread. I wish I saw it before I signed up. I wish there was a way people could find these reviews easier and save themselves the cash and humiliation. This agency in particular prey on people’s vulnerability. It’s just wrong.