Anyone tried dating agency??

erudec

Here's a simple scenario, that should be free or at least low-cost. Anyone who likes can take the idea and put it into practice.

Set up a meetup group. It's free.

Specify that it's for people who want to meet others with the intention of finding a romantic partner. Not just purely friendly non-romantic craic. Literally all of the other meetup groups are for craic, so you're spoiled for choice if you want craic and also aren't looking.

No matchmakers, but you will have people who lead icebreaking games (you can download hundreds online for free, some are fun and they all help promote human interaction which is the name of the game).

All the women wear a 2-digit odd number badge, very clearly written, big numbers. Men wear an even number badge, avoid sixes and nines, or just use one or the other. All sevens must have a stroke in them to tell them apart from ones.

At some point in the evening, everyone gets a bit of paper with their number on it. They put the number of the person they like in a sealed box. If they don't like anyone they write 00.

The sealed box is later opened by someone who wasn't there, and doesn't know who the numbers refer to. He counts up the matches and makes arrangements to link up the people who matched, without knowing who they are. Then he burns or pulps the paper when done.

So you're good for data protection, because nobody has identifying information, and nobody is humiliated in public by making a move and being rejected.

It doesn't need to cost any money, or at least not much money. If every participant pays three euro, that should fairly reward the person who matches up the numbers and sends the messages. If it's an organised person, he should be able to send the matches out online easily enough within two hours.

It's easy to send password protected messages.

This takes care of all the essentials: you meet people who are looking, you get a clear chance to express interest without public humiliation, you can completely see and hear them, and your privacy is very well guarded, and only tiny amounts of money are involved.

This is a trivially easy problem, it seems.

ginandtonicsky

Isn't that essentially how speed dating works?

I'd suspect there wouldn't be a whole sea of matches anyway, with all the fellas going for the same hot girl and all the girls going for the same eligible bachelor :pac:

erudec

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Isn't that essentially how speed dating works?

I'd suspect there wouldn't be a whole sea of matches anyway, with all the fellas going for the same hot girl and all the girls going for the same eligible bachelor :pac:

Not a difficult fix: every participant can only be chosen by 3 people. It requires a little bit more planning, but you can make it so that the sexiest people are maxed out quickly and people have to look at the middle-rank folks. And you can preserve anonymity too.

There's some common sense that has to be applied. If it's a bunch of middle-aged ladies plus Katy Perry, maybe this isn't the right place for Katy.

You can discourage extreme front-runners (whose motives might be a bit suspect if they're sniffing around people who are far below their league) in a lot of creative ways.

ginandtonicsky

erudec wrote: »

Not a difficult fix: every participant can only be chosen by 3 people. It requires a little bit more planning, but you can make it so that the sexiest people are maxed out quickly and people have to look at the middle-rank folks. And you can preserve anonymity too.

There's some common sense that has to be applied. If it's a bunch of middle-aged ladies plus Katy Perry, maybe this isn't the right place for Katy.

You can discourage extreme front-runners (whose motives might be a bit suspect if they're sniffing around people who are far below their league) in a lot of creative ways.

Fair enough. It doesn't eliminate the possibility of Mr Man-of-my-Dreams from being disqualified though because he wasn't lucky number 1, 2 or 3 who was quick enough to choose me (assuming I'm a massive ride...a correct assumption )

I guess the reality is that you won't get the Katy Perrys of the world at these kinds of events, but if you take tinder as an example, online apps are littered with all levels of attractive folks in both genders and that really muddies the waters as far as the perceived "choice" that people think they have versus the actual reality.

erudec

Mags2018 wrote: »

Calling all single ladies in the ladies lounge we need to come up with a plan for uniting people wanting the same thing !!!!??
Forget your speed dating and matchmaking agencies - something else must be waiting to be explored - shouldn't be this hard
Anyone into events planning !!?? ;-)

Well, I'm off the market but I don't like seeing people single against their will ( because I didn't particularly like it myself) so I am all for people grasping the nettle.

Go out and help arrange to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince! Or, failing that, your Michael Jackson.

Mags2018

And you sounded like a great catch !!!!

Ya I think when I wrote that I was having a moment of optimism but I think the already existing Meet up groups is the way to go...I have signed up and if I go to a few and get to know some other members, then maybe getting an event organised through that channel is better, certainly not beyond the realms of possibility

Watch this space 😬

erudec

Mags2018 wrote: »

And you sounded like a great catch !!!!

Ya I think when I wrote that I was having a moment of optimism but I think the already existing Meet up groups is the way to go...I have signed up and if I go to a few and get to know some other members, then maybe getting an event organised through that channel is better, certainly not beyond the realms of possibility

Watch this space 😬

Knock 'em dead, don't be too shy, treat it like an adventure and take precautions!

Emme

erudec wrote: »

Knock 'em dead, don't be too shy, treat it like an adventure and take precautions!

Meetup is for making friends, it isn't a knocking shop. There's plenty of that on Tinder.

erudec

Emme wrote: »

Meetup is for making friends, it isn't a knocking shop. There's plenty of that on Tinder.

That's very much down to every individual person at every individual meetup. Unless they require you to physically sign a "NO ROMANCES PERMITTED" document and pay a fee, there's no substance to what you say.

I do hope that Joyless Puritanism has its own separate meetup from everyone else, though.

It must be awful to be around happy people.

As I said, using Tinder to find a long-term relationship is like trying to cut down a tree with a screwdriver. You might be able to manage it, but it's not the right tool for the job. It's a straightforward copy of a gay male anonymous sex app, which isn't really what most women, straight or gay, are looking for.

Mags2018

Okay ladies I'll think we'll have to agree to disagree. I have never tried meetup groups so I am just casting my net a bit further.
It's something for people like myself who have limited amount of single friends left to go out with anymore but I also like to "get out" and do stuff! Rather than be indoors on the Internet hoping to hit the jackpot !!
I'm not knocking either and I do believe it's down to the individual and what their comfortable with.
Peace out 😊





Sent from my iPhone

erudec

Mags2018 wrote: »

Okay ladies I'll think we'll have to agree to disagree. I have never tried meetup groups so I am just casting my net a bit further.
It's something for people like myself who have limited amount of single friends left to go out with anymore but I also like to "get out" and do stuff! Rather than be indoors on the Internet hoping to hit the jackpot !!
I'm not knocking either and I do believe it's down to the individual and what their comfortable with.
Peace out 😊

Sent from my iPhone

Go for it, sweetie!

A few more random thoughts about Tinder:

If you use Tinder you will absolutely certainly meet men on it. Just remember that all the other women on Tinder can also see the same men that you like, and unless you have extremely unusual tastes in men, a very large group of other women on Tinder will probably be as interested in him as you are.

Women are not like men. When we find a very large group of men show an interest in us, most of us are not inclined to have sex with all of them one after the other, or at the same time.

With men however, rather a lot of them want to do precisely that, subconsciously at least. Indeed, the men who have no interest at all in doing that seem to be a minority.

Mags2018

Thanks !!
Think I have enough knowledge now and as they say forewarned is to be forearmed.
Good to get different perspectives on this as sometimes you wonder what your doing wrong.
Appreciate all the advise/comments ....should have joined boards years ago!!??

erudec

Mags2018 wrote: »

Thanks !!
Think I have enough knowledge now and as they say forewarned is to be forearmed.
Good to get different perspectives on this as sometimes you wonder what your doing wrong.
Appreciate all the advise/comments ....should have joined boards years ago!!??

Regrets are like hot potatoes: the longer you hold on to them the less happy you'll be.

Emme

erudec wrote: »

I do hope that Joyless Puritanism has its own separate meetup from everyone else, though.

The people I know in meetup didn't initially join to meet a partner. Later on they might have got together with someone but it was a bonus. But they also had made a great bunch of friends.

It is so obvious when somebody comes to meetup with the sole aim of meeting a partner. It's a source of amusement to the long standing members of some groups. The guy who gets drunk and comes onto every woman the first meetup he goes to or the girls who only talk to the guys in the group they would like to date.

erudec wrote: »

It must be awful to be around happy people.

In my experience the happiest people in meetup are those who joined to make friends and have no other agenda. The most miserable are those who joined it first and foremost to meet a partner.

erudec

Emme wrote: »

The people I know in meetup didn't initially join to meet a partner. .

If they did, do you really think that you're the type of person whom they'd be comfortable enough to open up to?

I'm guessing they'd be afraid of you shaming them for the crime of wanting to find love.

Emme

erudec wrote: »

If they did, do you really think that you're the type of person whom they'd be comfortable enough to open up to?

I'm guessing they'd be afraid of you shaming them for the crime of wanting to find love.

Wanting to find love isn't a crime but there are faster and more pragmatic ways to happiness and fulfilment. Some of us would prefer to get on with life and not waste time chasing rainbows.

Mags2018

I'm all for people living their lives to the max and doing whatever it takes to get on and be happy with or without a partner.
But that doesn't mean it's wrong to want to try and find other ways of potentially meeting someone if you feel like getting back out there. It's not my lifelong goal but I can't say

Mags2018

Mags2018 wrote: »

I'm all for people living their lives to the max and doing whatever it takes to get on and be happy with or without a partner.
But that doesn't mean it's wrong to want to try and find other ways of potentially meeting someone if you feel like getting back out there. It's not my lifelong goal but I can't say

I will rule it out for the rest of my life either

Tramco1234

Mags2018 wrote: »

Agree with katgul. Don't part with your hard earned cash and hand it over to these the place I regrettably used was horrendous so unprofessional so so rude and arrogant - once they take your money you'll never hear from them and if you read all the previous posts on dating agencies they more or less say the same thing. Unfortunately I didn't read them before signing up.

I also signed up with a dating agency and parted with a lot of money. I feel so upset about the whole experience. I was supposed to have 5 dates but after 7 months I went on one date.
It all seems very suspect and the guy who deals with you over the phone is extremely aggressive and intimidating. When I spoke about being unhappy about having one date and the only other potential date being with a man who lived almost 3 hours away he scoffed and said I had unrealistic expectations and that I clearly didn’t listen when he first gave his pitch. The whole thing seems like a scam. He told me they arrange a hundred dates a week. I can’t understand why I haven’t had more than one if that’s the case.
Sorry for the rant here but I’ve been so upset and it seems like there’s very little that can be done about how I’ve been treated. When I tried to find reviews about their agency I couldn’t find this thread. I wish I saw it before I signed up. I wish there was a way people could find these reviews easier and save themselves the cash and humiliation. This agency in particular prey on people’s vulnerability. It’s just wrong.

swaner

Tramco1234 wrote: »

I also signed up with a dating agency and parted with a lot of money. I feel so upset about the whole experience. I was supposed to have 5 dates but after 7 months I went on one date.
It all seems very suspect and the guy who deals with you over the phone is extremely aggressive and intimidating. When I spoke about being unhappy about having one date and the only other potential date being with a man who lived almost 3 hours away he scoffed and said I had unrealistic expectations and that I clearly didn’t listen when he first gave his pitch. The whole thing seems like a scam. He told me they arrange a hundred dates a week. I can’t understand why I haven’t had more than one if that’s the case.
Sorry for the rant here but I’ve been so upset and it seems like there’s very little that can be done about how I’ve been treated. When I tried to find reviews about their agency I couldn’t find this thread. I wish I saw it before I signed up. I wish there was a way people could find these reviews easier and save themselves the cash and humiliation. This agency in particular prey on people’s vulnerability. It’s just wrong.

I am sorry because of your bad experience, but in this of all those hookup apps and casual sex sites, why You need "dating agency"? I am just curious? Simply, no matter are you looking for a date or sex, today it is easier than ever thanks to technology. You have dating, casual sex, and their sites and apps, but you can use whatever you want for every intention you may have no matter is that seeking a relationship, sex, or friends... Just my 2 cents.

Emme

swaner wrote: »

I am sorry because of your bad experience, but in this of all those hookup apps and casual sex sites, why You need "dating agency"? I am just curious? Simply, no matter are you looking for a date or sex, today it is easier than ever thanks to technology. You have dating, casual sex, and their sites and apps, but you can use whatever you want for every intention you may have no matter is that seeking a relationship, sex, or friends... Just my 2 cents.

Maybe the person wants something more than a one-night-stand or a casual hookup. I agree it is easier than ever to get a hookup thanks to technology but it is harder than ever to find someone who wants a serious relationship.

joombo

I've never applied to dating agencies however I registered on https://www.flirt.com/en-ie/ dating website some time ago. There are so many nice girls, with some of them I've already had a few coffee dates. One of my earlier dates I also met online. I like the idea of online dating, I think it's easier to find someone with similar interests online.

Emme

joombo wrote: »

I've never applied to dating agencies however I registered on https://www.flirt.com/en-ie/ dating website some time ago. There are so many nice girls, with some of them I've already had a few coffee dates. One of my earlier dates I also met online. I like the idea of online dating, I think it's easier to find someone with similar interests online.

With respect, it is far easier for men to find women to date than vice versa. If you are lesbian I apologise but I think there are specific sites for non-heterosexuals (many of us straight women envy them). Enjoy the coffee dates, be straight with the girls and treat them well.