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Anyone tried dating agency??

ronaldol

Hello everyone, just considering joining a dating agency. Has anyone here tried one? could you recommend any?

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Katgurl

Yes a few years ago. A terrible experience. I would not recommend. Tinder (or equivalent) and real-life stuff like clubs etc are a way better bet. I know they are time-consuming and frustrating but think about it; it is very rare to meet someone you connect with. How likely is it that they will be on the books of your matchmaker?

I met my guy on tinder a couple of years later. I had to date a lit of frogs first though unfortunately.

Mags2018

Katgurl wrote: »

Yes a few years ago. A terrible experience. I would not recommend. Tinder (or equivalent) and real-life stuff like clubs etc are a way better bet. I know they are time-consuming and frustrating but think about it; it is very rare to meet someone you connect with. How likely is it that they will be on the books of your matchmaker?

I met my guy on tinder a couple of years later. I had to date a lit of frogs first though unfortunately.

Agree with katgul. Don't part with your hard earned cash and hand it over to these the place I regrettably used was horrendous so unprofessional so so rude and arrogant - once they take your money you'll never hear from them and if you read all the previous posts on dating agencies they more or less say the same thing. Unfortunately I didn't read them before signing up.

misstearheus

Never tried Dating Agencies but I know a couple of girls who have and the common theme seems to be nightmare experience(s) and waste of money.

ronaldol

Thanks guys for your replies....finding it really tough to meet people. I'm on tinder & pof for over a year & haven't even had a date

erudec

It's a pity single women in Ireland have such a hard time finding ways to meet men sober.

I was set up with my other half through a mutual friend. I just don't trust myself to make an important decision like choosing a life partner unless I'm in my full senses.

The pub scene is a whole barrel of issues. You see a fellow you like: you won't be able to hear one word out of three he says, so you won't have a clue about his personality.

Making the move: do you stand there passively making goo-goo eyes? Do you brazenly walk up and pray he's not waiting for his girlfriend? What if you're not up to his standards and he shakes his head at you? Worse, what if you're not up to his standards but he just wants to use you for practice then stops calling?

Your friends are probably there, and so are his, so you're both going to be nervous about getting shot down.

There's a man behind the bar selling ethanol mixed nicely which will reduce your anxiety but also wreck your ability to make sensible decisions.

So, two drunk anxious people, who can't hear each other speak, being judged by their social circles, trying to figure out if they should try to start a process that has the ultimate aim of merging their lives together.

And that's the very best we can do? That's the pinnacle of the Irish way of forming romances?

I hope our culture eventually manages to find a better way.

erudec

ronaldol wrote: »

Thanks guys for your replies....finding it really tough to meet people. I'm on tinder & pof for over a year & haven't even had a date

There's a really huge girl at work, no oil painting even if she lost all the weight. She met her husband on pof and they've just announced she's having their second baba.

I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, some people just click well, and pof doesn't deserve any other credit than helping them meet, all the rest was done by the two people.

Mags2018

This is what drives girls like myself to these so called matchmakers who take complete advantage of the situation
Going out for a drink is lovely if it was just that. But 4/5 pubs later and it just begins to feel like actual work - all I want is to be at home curled up under my bed covers. The pub scene takes a lot of energy, between blaring music, being pushed and shoved and don't even get me started on trying to order a drink at the bar...it's not my cup of tea but I do it as what's the alternative?...Saturday night with Miriam...No thanks
I have tried the whole taking evening classes, joining a gym, volunteering, online dating and it's just never led me to anything in terms of meeting fellas

It was so much easier in my college days and early on in my working career whereby you're part of a big institution and can 'spot' other guys on a regular basis. Not just a quick glance in a bar whilst passing by each other and then never to be seen again.

Now I just focus being in the present as I've spent way too long worrying about how, where, when, who - whatever will be will be

erudec

Mags2018 wrote: »

This is what drives girls like myself to these so called matchmakers who take complete advantage of the situation
Going out for a drink is lovely if it was just that. But 4/5 pubs later and it just begins to feel like actual work - all I want is to be at home curled up under my bed covers. The pub scene takes a lot of energy, between blaring music, being pushed and shoved and don't even get me started on trying to order a drink at the bar...it's not my cup of tea but I do it as what's the alternative?...Saturday night with Miriam...No thanks
I have tried the whole taking evening classes, joining a gym, volunteering, online dating and it's just never led me to anything in terms of meeting fellas

It was so much easier in my college days and early on in my working career whereby you're part of a big institution and can 'spot' other guys on a regular basis. Not just a quick glance in a bar whilst passing by each other and then never to be seen again.

Now I just focus being in the present as I've spent way too long worrying about how, where, when, who - whatever will be will be

Just wondering, were there no fellas at all who wanted to meet you?

Some men are really good at picking up women in a bar setting, they have a loud voice, confident body language and are usually easy on the eyes.

I don't know why these men would do online dating. So if you want one of these men, you'll have to go to the places they do.

Don't answer unless you are totally comfortable. Or do, you're in charge.

Mags2018

With the pub scene I get chatted up and a number of times have been asked for my number but no follow through...then of course with some I just wouldn't be giving my number to them
As for online dating I dabbled with it but probably gave up too soon. But again it suits some people and works for them but not for others

erudec

Mags2018 wrote: »

With the pub scene I get chatted up and a number of times have been asked for my number but no follow through...then of course with some I just wouldn't be giving my number to them
As for online dating I dabbled with it but probably gave up too soon. But again it suits some people and works for them but not for others

Here's an idea, and don't throw it out the window before you have chewed it over for a week or two: how about you exchange numbers with the next guy who you like the look of?

Then, wait a week, and text him a suggestion for a date.

I coached my cousin when he was a shy lad, and one thing he often said was it's awful that women don't want to take the initiative, but still behave like prim little ladies from a Jane Austen book. Not accusing you of this, but it's certainly a thing that plenty of Irish women do.

I've heard so many girls say, "why won't he make a pass?" and not seem to realise that it's the 21st century and that's not the only way any more.

We're out of the old days now, and probably a lot of men want women with a go-getter attitude to life. Men have to be careful not to connect with a life partner that is too passive to operate well in these modern, demanding times.

It is totally OK to decide you want the men to make the first move, if that is your preference. I won't tell you what to do. You know what you want better than anyone.

But there are some men who like a woman who goes for what she wants (romantically, I mean. I don't mean you have to be easy to get into bed!).

So if you are open to the idea of making a move, you will expand the number of possible partners for yourself.

And remember that this is all with the aim of finding a life partner. It makes sense that you will have to have a few series of dates with different fellas before you hit the jackpot with the guy who likes you as much as you like him.

Have you seen old, badly matched couples? That's not a good road.

swaner

Katgurl wrote: »

Yes a few years ago. A terrible experience. I would not recommend. Tinder (or equivalent) and real-life stuff like clubs etc are a way better bet. I know they are time-consuming and frustrating but think about it; it is very rare to meet someone you connect with. How likely is it that they will be on the books of your matchmaker?

I met my guy on tinder a couple of years later. I had to date a lit of frogs first though unfortunately.

Exactly, I was involved in such thing, because of a friend of mine, so sharing your experience.
Hookup sites (http://onenightstand1.com/sex-hookup-sites) and apps like Tinder, Bumble, Down, Pure, etc can do a much better job and most of them is free to use...
Or simple examining social circles of your friends on FaceBook can do sometimes a job...

erudec

swaner wrote: »

Exactly, I was involved in such thing, because of a friend of mine, so sharing your experience.
Hookup sites (http://onenightstand1.com/sex-hookup-sites) and apps like Tinder, Bumble, Down, Pure, etc can do a much better job and most of them is free to use...
Or simple examining social circles of your friends on FaceBook can do sometimes a job...

The problem there is that Tinder filters out all the people who don't photograph well, or just don't know how to take a good picture. Lots of men look a lot better in person than on a phone screen.

By depending on Tinder instead of real life, you're also going up against harder competition. If you meet a person in real life, you can let your personality and body language help you.

But on Tinder, he may get another match with a boring, stupid cold-hearted girl who just looks amazing on a phone screen.

I'd bet huge money that couples who met on Tinder will have vastly more divorces than couples who met face-to-face.

Does anyone think the opposite?

In short, join whatever agency or website that helps you see people for the first time in real life, face to face. Use Tinder for casual, first-date sex, if that is what you enjoy, because that's what it is for. It's a gay men's casual sex app for people with the desire for immediate, anonymous, relationship-free sex.

That's not me, and I don't think it's for many women on boards.ie. For a few nymphomaniacs, it is perfect, but those girls know how to pick men up in real life too. And the men who do well on Tinder are very eager to meet the nymphos. Nymphos are much more likely to be able to do all the complicated tricks that porn actresses do. I would need years of yoga and fitness training to do that stuff, even if I was so inclined.

I'm saying: social media is only good as an introduction. If you actually want to select a guy without meeting him first, you have to accept that the chances of it going badly are much higher.

Katgurl

erudec wrote: »

The problem there is that Tinder filters out all the people who don't photograph well, or just don't know how to take a good picture. Lots of men look a lot better in person than on a phone screen.

By depending on Tinder instead of real life, you're also going up against harder competition. If you meet a person in real life, you can let your personality and body language help you.

But on Tinder, he may get another match with a boring, stupid cold-hearted girl who just looks amazing on a phone screen.

I'd bet huge money that couples who met on Tinder will have vastly more divorces than couples who met face-to-face.

Does anyone think the opposite?

In short, join whatever agency or website that helps you see people for the first time in real life, face to face. Use Tinder for casual, first-date sex, if that is what you enjoy, because that's what it is for. It's a gay men's casual sex app for people with the desire for immediate, anonymous, relationship-free sex.

That's not me, and I don't think it's for many women on boards.ie. For a few nymphomaniacs, it is perfect, but those girls know how to pick men up in real life too. And the men who do well on Tinder are very eager to meet the nymphos. Nymphos are much more likely to be able to do all the complicated tricks that porn actresses do. I would need years of yoga and fitness training to do that stuff, even if I was so inclined.

I'm saying: social media is only good as an introduction. If you actually want to select a guy without meeting him first, you have to accept that the chances of it going badly are much higher.

I don't agree with this. Tinder doesn't have to replace real life. The two aren't mutually exclusive. I wasn't interested in hookups so i made that clear. I met guys IRL but just happened to meet my boyfriend on tinder. (Granted, he had a few casual encounters on it before me.)

When using tinder i was quite open-minded about the pics but ruthless about the messaging. If they didnt catch my attention / tried to make the conversation sexual early on in used the unmatch function. It's better to get a date organised quite quickly I'm if he looks and sounds interesting. No need to go sharing all your personal info or innermost thoughts, just see do you have rapport.

ginandtonicsky

Guys want speed on dating sites, whereas women want comfort. The two things don't align. Feeling like you're just a number and you've received a cut-and-copy message or an uninventive "hi how are you" is about as romantic as a hole in the head. So women hate online dating, and men hate online dating because the women don't respond (wonder why) and they can't get the dates fast enough.

I've only ever had luck with it when I set my own standards with the fella and spent some time building a rapport before meeting. I wouldn't let him move it to whatsapp within seconds of exchanging messages and wouldn't agree to meet after 5 messages. Instead, I've have a few messages to see if I could get a real conversation going beyond "how long have you been single", and if I could (most of the time - nope!) I'd ask the lad for his email and continue the conversation there. Build a bit of rapport and ask him to call me if he's interested in a date. If he didn't call, he wouldn't get the date. If he did, we'd chat and see if there was any level of interesting engagement, and based on that, if I liked the sound of him, we'd set a date.

That way at least you know you've got a bit of banter with the guy and even if there's no spark, at least you're spending a few hours with an interesting person. As opposed to that "jesus how do i get out of this one" that frequently used to happen when i let a lad shoehorn me into a date after 5 minutes of "hi how are you" "fine, you"...zzzzz

So in summary, whether it's a dating agency or tinder or pof or whatever, it's very much about your approach. Don't put in the time to do some screening and to actually build a connection and you'll meet every boring chancer in the book.

erudec

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

Guys want speed on dating sites, whereas women want comfort. The two things don't align. Feeling like you're just a number and you've received a cut-and-copy message or an uninventive "hi how are you" is about as romantic as a hole in the head.

Not everyone can be a wordsmith. That's why I don't recommend social media except as a means of meeting people in real life. I think meetups should be where it's at.

If you can't see a person in real life, you won't know if you have chemistry.

Mags2018

You got me thinking there and I realise I did pluck up the courage in the past to go pursue a couple of guys I was keen on. We were working in the same organisation but because it didn't lead to anything romantically I thought maybe it's the guys who like to do the chasing as I suppose I had high expectations (would have been egged on by others as they too seemed to think there was potential for something to blossom) ....but alas no joy so I said to myself 'right I gave that a go but ain't chasing after any guy anymore'
It can deflate your confidence especially with the ones who you might be bumping into at your workplace - but I do have to say it hasn't left me scarred unlike other avenues I've explored!
I once got talking to a really lovely guy in a pub in Dublin few years back by pure accident it was very busy and packed and as I was passing him I asked if he knew where the loos were located. But as it happened he was in the same boat and we just hit it off. Both up from the country for the night and it just seemed to have a good flow to it. Unfortunately I was then duped by a friend of mine at the time who I brought into the conversation but who then decided to ask him straight out which one of us was he interested in (when I did eventually get to go the bathroom)
So I came back to a very different scenario.
Anyways my point is I have stepped up and made first move but probably in a subtle way but not in last year.

Emme

Mags2018 wrote: »

I once got talking to a really lovely guy in a pub in Dublin few years back by pure accident it was very busy and packed and as I was passing him I asked if he knew where the loos were located. But as it happened he was in the same boat and we just hit it off. Both up from the country for the night and it just seemed to have a good flow to it. Unfortunately I was then duped by a friend of mine at the time who I brought into the conversation but who then decided to ask him straight out which one of us was he interested in (when I did eventually get to go the bathroom)
So I came back to a very different scenario.
Anyways my point is I have stepped up and made first move but probably in a subtle way but not in last year.

If the "very different scenario" was the "really lovely guy" shifting your "friend" then he wasn't really lovely and she certainly isn't your friend.

Mags2018

No Enme that wasn't the case but she made sure she was fully in the picture when she got me gone and like I said we we're friends at the time but unfortunately some people don't know the true meaning of that.
I was responding to a post from Erudec about girls approaching guys in social settings but I guess it highlights other problems you are faced with on these nights out..

swaner

Katgurl wrote: »

erudec wrote: »

The problem there is that Tinder filters out all the people who don't photograph well, or just don't know how to take a good picture. Lots of men look a lot better in person than on a phone screen.

By depending on Tinder instead of real life, you're also going up against harder competition. If you meet a person in real life, you can let your personality and body language help you.

But on Tinder, he may get another match with a boring, stupid cold-hearted girl who just looks amazing on a phone screen.

I'd bet huge money that couples who met on Tinder will have vastly more divorces than couples who met face-to-face.

Does anyone think the opposite?

In short, join whatever agency or website that helps you see people for the first time in real life, face to face. Use Tinder for casual, first-date sex, if that is what you enjoy, because that's what it is for. It's a gay men's casual sex app for people with the desire for immediate, anonymous, relationship-free sex.

That's not me, and I don't think it's for many women on boards.ie. For a few nymphomaniacs, it is perfect, but those girls know how to pick men up in real life too. And the men who do well on Tinder are very eager to meet the nymphos. Nymphos are much more likely to be able to do all the complicated tricks that porn actresses do. I would need years of yoga and fitness training to do that stuff, even if I was so inclined.

I'm saying: social media is only good as an introduction. If you actually want to select a guy without meeting him first, you have to accept that the chances of it going badly are much higher.

I don't agree with this. Tinder doesn't have to replace real life. The two aren't mutually exclusive. I wasn't interested in hookups so i made that clear. I met guys IRL but just happened to meet my boyfriend on tinder. (Granted, he had a few casual encounters on it before me.)

When using tinder i was quite open-minded about the pics but ruthless about the messaging. If they didnt catch my attention / tried to make the conversation sexual early on in used the unmatch function. It's better to get a date organised quite quickly I'm if he looks and sounds interesting. No need to go sharing all your personal info or innermost thoughts, just see do you have rapport.

That is "positive" usage of Tinder I would say ...

I mean better than other people (women) using it...

TeaBagMania

I came to the ladies lounge looking for ideas or the best places I should go to meet an Irish wife. its difficult when your only in county a few weeks a year on holiday.

its been mentioned before but id like to reiterate going to the Gym.
I have met the most down to earth and best quality people at the gym as well as multiple opportunity to make new partners or wife if I so desired.
Give it a try, and a positive side effect is better health, its a win win situation

so what's the lowdown on the match making festivals? is it legit or just a reason to get smashed and have a laugh

ginandtonicsky

I've been going to the gym for decades and have yet to actually meet or befriend anyone in there. An independent gym and a regular group fitness class outside of that. I could think of nothing worse than using it as stalking grounds for my dating life! I'm big into my fitness and like to use it as my me-time and to focus on that. I find most people are the same - they'll smile and be friendly but are very much there to get the job done.

TeaBagMania

Maybe Ireland is different in that respect. My experience has been just the opposite.

Almost everyone is up for a short chat between set's, however, there are a few diehard focused people that just don't want to have a conversation but they are ulta rare.

I think "stalking ground" is a bit extreme, just be yourself and you'll find many friends

ginandtonicsky

TeaBagMania wrote: »

Maybe Ireland is different in that respect. My experience has been just the opposite.

Almost everyone is up for a short chat between set's, however, there are a few diehard focused people that just don't want to have a conversation but they are ulta rare.

I think "stalking ground" is a bit extreme, just be yourself and you'll find many friends

I just wouldn't venture into a workout with the aim of meeting someone is all. My experience of the gym is that most people are the same. Earphones in, endorphins flowing, head elsewhere. Job done and leave. I'm by no means a hardcore fitness fanatic, and there'll sometimes be a bit of friendliness at the water fountain or some advice from someone who clearly knows their sh1.t. But I wouldn't factor it in when I'm trying to expand my dating horizons.

Some of the group fitness classes can be more social, I go to one that has a pretty active social media platform and there's always brunches happening etc. But they tend to be at least 80% female in my experience so not an option as far as meeting men goes!

Mags2018

Calling all single ladies in the ladies lounge we need to come up with a plan for uniting people wanting the same thing !!!!??
Forget your speed dating and matchmaking agencies - something else must be waiting to be explored - shouldn't be this hard
Anyone into events planning !!?? ;-)

Emme

Mags2018 wrote: »

Calling all single ladies in the ladies lounge we need to come up with a plan for uniting people wanting the same thing !!!!??
Forget your speed dating and matchmaking agencies - something else must be waiting to be explored - shouldn't be this hard
Anyone into events planning !!?? ;-)

In my experience most singles events turn out to be 80% female no matter how much effort is put into getting men to attend.

I haven't heard much good about matchmaking agencies but they can only work with what they get - a wide variety of accomplished women and very few men to go around.

Once guys pass their 20s they become very eligible. If you were such a guy and you were reasonably sociable, had a job and didn't frighten the horses, so to speak, why would you need to join a dating agency? If you were single you might get matched with friends of your sisters / female cousins / work colleagues etc. A single man of a certain age is always in demand. Unless a man was very shy, lived in a remote area or had other problems which impaired dating (hygiene problems, bad personality etc.) he would have no need to fork out the guts of a grand to join a dating agency. That is why women have such dire experiences with dating agencies. The men just aren't there.

TeaBagMania

Emme wrote: »

In my experience most singles events turn out to be 80% female no matter how much effort is put into getting men to attend.

sounds just like the kind of event im looking for

how do I go about finding them?

Emme wrote: »

and didn't frighten the horses, so to speak

This made me literally laugh out loud, that one goes in the vault

Emme

TeaBagMania wrote: »

sounds just like the kind of event im looking for how do I go about finding them?

Join a meetup group that organises nighttime and weekend events for drinks and dancing. New friends and lots of crack guaranteed.

NobleBlack

Most couples meet online and got married.... It works for some people ams don't work for some...

In online dating, you may end up in hooking up with someone who only wants to use you and not truly in love with you.

So you have to be careful on online dating.

erudec

Emme wrote: »

he would have no need to fork out the guts of a grand to join a dating agency. That is why women have such dire experiences with dating agencies. The men just aren't there.

(Jaw drops)

H... how much?

Going to meetups is free. And you meet the men directly. Cripes!

erudec

Emme wrote: »

A single man of a certain age is always in demand.

Most winos are single, and I am not so sure they are in demand, regardless of age.

I think you may be omitting certain unspoken socio-economic requirements that the man must fulfill before he will actually have more than one woman interested in him.

Emme wrote: »

. The men just aren't there.

For every single woman, it is statistically almost inevitable that there will be a single man.

The idea that there isn't a single man out there for virtually every woman is nearly certain to be untrue.

That said, what could be messing it up is stupid requirements on both sides. Like if I ended up single but said "I won't consider dating anyone other than Justin Bieber" I'd most likely stay single.

But once both parties accept that people of their generation are going to have aged and that intolerance of physical imperfections is not going to lead to a happy love life, it theoretically shouldn't be much harder than putting people in the same room and ensuring that the music is low enough so that people can hear each other.