Gaslighting

cj maxx wrote: »

The point is the people being gaslighted don’t realise it to begin with until it’s too far gone. The person who does it picks their victims because they’re slightly gullible

It's not that the victim is gullible its difficult to explain.

The person who is doing gaslighting is someone, that under normal circumstances, would be deemed to be in a position of trust, authority or power.

They are usually a close family member, employer or a teacher/medical professional.

They start off suubtly, so subtle that you don't recognise it. Little comments like I told you that yesterday etc. Over a period of time the comments increase in frequency. You eventually start to doubt yourself.

Then it starts with bigger things eg. scheduling meetings and saying they are for 4 and ringing you at 2.30 saying where are you, asking you to do something a specific way and then telling you iits wrong and insisting they told you another way.

They bide their time it can be over a year or more, ring your family act all concerned saying they are concerned as you are forgetting things. Call you into meetings at work, with other staff there eg HR or union and say they are concerned for you.

Every move you make is watched, the more you are watched the more mistakes you make.

They move things and put them in strange places, they help you look so they know you find them. They publicly praise you say how much they love you or what a fantastic team member you are. They go out of the way to appear wonderful to everyone else.

Gaslighting is literally playing with someone's mind until they loose their mind. They also play with the minds of those close to the victim to make them believe the victim has serious MH issues.

CountNjord wrote: »

Ahhh Gaslighting, the world's full of it, and for the poor misfortunes who are going through it it's horrific.

It's as form of bullying and lack of self discipline to the extreme,and the gaslighters supposedly are cruel empty shell's of people.

There's people who call themselves empaths and they're the most susceptible to Gaslighting because they're soft sensitive people who see the good in everyone.

I myself would be what you might call an aul rogue and it's easy enough to deflect a gaslighter because I'll call them out on their bllshT straight away.
I'd be like, wat you taking about ???

They get the message quite fast and avoid me.
They're horrible people, they make great spin doctors and HR loves having them as part of their team.

100% correct. Did you know have a history of gaslighting is now a medically recognised trait of having Narcissistic personality disorder and of being a psychopath

Deshawn wrote: »

It's can be just another American imported word used by some people who want to portray that they are a "victim" of a difference of opinion or social exchange.

It's a term that's been around for decades.

Nykay wrote: »

I quoted it just a few minutes ago. Another user posted it.

I would not know that song and recognise the singer. From what he said that someone sang a song everytimr he spoke, that would bullying.

Gaslighting would not be so covert. A manager telling you to do job a certain way eg paint that wall blue and then saying I told you to do it pink. Tells your colleagues to be back at the office for 4 for a meeting, tells you it's 5 and then gives out to you. Holds a disciplinary meeting and highlights recent memory lapses in front of HR, expresses concern.

Contradicts you in front of people making out you are getting dates he has told you wrong. It's happening so often you are starting to doubt your memory. You take out a file and leave it on your desk go to the printer to print off something to put in it, you come back file is gone. You get disciplined for being rude to Mrs Ryan last Tuesday on the phone. You are not aware of ever speaking to Mrs Ryan. You hear him telling other managers about your memory lapses.

One of your colleagues mentions it, you say you know its your boss, they go what he's sound. Turns out he's being extra nice to them. Now you sound like your losing your mind and paronid.

The stress gets to you, you end up making genuine mistakes, end up feeling physically sick and having panic attacks. Go to GP diagnosed with stress and anxiety.

Anxiety is MH and that is crazy so maybe he's right you are crazy and stupid and worthless and everything else you feel.

That is gas lighting. Do you see the difference? The manager is making the staff member think there is something wrong with their memory and is making other staff think their is something wrong with that person's memory.

COVID wrote: »

I think that repeatedly singing any Francis Black song - particularly if the singer is a good impressionist - could justifiably be labelled 'bullying behaviour'.

I take it, I am a very lucky to not know

didn't realise you could edit the quoted post down to say a dot . will use that idea in future.

padjocollins wrote: »

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Good one!