2020 Bride/Groom

Some serious head wobbles need to happen here. My wedding day was marred by a tragic event the week before, we got on with it and 11 years on I'm just grateful we had a day with the ones who matter. My sincere condolences to the poster who recently lost their father, everyone else try and keep a bit of perspective.

For flowers, I'd say you could get this done remotely, consultations over skype for example. Maybe not with small local shops, but with suppliers who are still currently functioning online.

I'd consider artificial flowers too though (I mean good quality custom made silk ones, not the cheap plastic ones you find in the shops :P). If things don't improve by June and you needed to postpone your date, it's one less thing to worry about. You can just keep the flowers for your rearranged date. But if you go with fresh flowers, you could lose your deposit if the supplier isn't available for your new date. Just something to consider.

Here's hoping things will go back to normal sooner rather than later though.

That's correct. I enquired about ours, it looks like we'll be postponing until October this year. It's 5 months from our original date so we don't have to, but anything over 6 months would have meant doing it again.

Our hotel had asked us to hold tight for early may but we are going to move the date now. Willing to go mid wk in a few months time to many elderly aunts and uncles in the family

Shelli2 wrote: »

We're 2nd May, I'm pretty confident it's not going ahead, and the hotel and most suppliers have reserved us a back up date, we were lucky to get Saturday 3rd October.
Hotel won't fully cancel May yet though, which is a little frustrating, but by next week we should have definite answers.
We'll have lost our band and ceremony music though, they weren't available for October, do once I get confirmation I'll start looking for new music and send out 'change the date' notices.

We are the weekend after. We had a few suppliers into us already asking about our postponed date and have no answer for them. So going to try to push the hotel for an update next week. We are willing to go mid week with the new date so we should keep most of our suppliers. Im sure many of them will be delighted with the mid week business when they will be doing their best to recover the losses from this

We've officially cancelled with the hotel for October and have booked a ceremony in Dublin city centre instead.

Sat 3rd October should now be available in Summerhill House in case anyone is looking.

We are due for October 2020. Herself is from the USA, and therefore we are now extremely concerned her family will not be able to travel. Our provisional guest list was also approx 1/3 USA visitors.

We are determined to go ahead with our wedding in October - we have zero intent to postpone. We now are beginning to resign ourselves to the thought that it will be a bare minimum wedding & the possibility neither family can attend. Thankfully, we completed our Accord course in February.

In terms of suppliers etc, the hotel as closed for now and we have paid two tranches of deposit. We have not heard from photographer or DJ. We have not made arrangements for suit, flowers etc (we were due to do these the weekend lockdown-lite was brought in).

We have friends in the US due to get married this Friday and have opted to livestream. This is echoed by another person we know who brought theirs forward to May and are livestreaming. A third couple we know have opted to postpone to early 2021.

We have two sets of friends (one USA based, one Ireland based) and both have taken the decision to get married regardless and livestream their wedding for friends & family. Their intent is to have a party on their anniversaries in 2021.

Teach30 wrote: »

I know but our plan b isn’t as good. None of the band, flowers, makeup etc I booked are free so we are left with the dregs. For us it’s all about the party and ensuring our guests have the best day. I’m too old to wait around another two years. We’ll probably go with plan B but we won’t have half the enjoyment in knowing it’s all second best and the leftovers if that makes sense.

Some compromise will be needed. For example, we were dead set that we wanted a Saturday for the convenience of our guests. We're still waiting (days...) for our venue to get back to us with alternative dates, but we know we'll probably have to settle for something midweek now instead. And if you go midweek, it's more likely that your other suppliers will still be available.

The only way you're going to have your wedding exactly as you originally planned it is if you wait ~2 years. So it's up to you... have a not so perfect wedding sooner, or your perfect wedding later. It's not a great choice, but it's still a choice.

I know the wedding planning has become so incredibly stressful at this time. But I keep reminding myself that we're relatively lucky; we're healthy, so are our families and we still have our jobs. That's much more than a lot of people at the moment. In the grand scheme of things, the wedding day itself isn't all that important. It's the marriage that counts.

Teach30 wrote: »

Yes seriously So what if they are my biggest issues Everyone is different. It means a lot me to get it right. I think it’s quite obvious I’m not too bothered by other people situations.

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I've come to the conclusion that you're either a troll or completely devoid of emotional intelligence or both.

Between this exchange and your other interactions with posters on this forum where you constantly humble brag about how much money you're spending. This is beyond tacky by the way.

We're in the midst of a once in a lifetime public health emergency. Many people will lose their parents and other loved ones. Countless others have had their livelihoods decimated. And all you care about is your big fat culchie wedding.

Wake up, no one cares.

woodchuck wrote: »

Some compromise will be needed. For example, we were dead set that we wanted a Saturday for the convenience of our guests. We're still waiting (days...) for our venue to get back to us with alternative dates, but we know we'll probably have to settle for something midweek now instead. And if you go midweek, it's more likely that your other suppliers will still be available.

On the plus side, with so many people taking fewer holidays, taking a day or two midweek is probably a non issue this year.

I know its something that I've struggled with in the past (shout out to my friend and her Tuesday wedding last year!) but we've already had 2 holidays cancelled, so my full annual leave entitlement is still intact, so it hardly matters

"Who is the wedding for?" is a very interesting conversation to have. In our situation, our wedding is about making our vows before God and receiving the sacrament of marriage and the grace that comes with it. As you probably have guessed, both she and I are Catholic. The party element is, ultimately, secondary to us but it has become our focus in the planning and our thoughts. Another element that is important to the Mrs-to-be is getting dolled up with her bridesmaids and making the most of her wedding dress.

Pope Francis wrote about this in a letter (encyclical, possibly) he published some years ago. A lot of couples get bogged down in the little details and forget the bigger picture. The wedding day is the starting point of a married life and preparation needs to be put in for that married life and less distractions around "the big day" itself. Really interesting stuff to think about in our circumstances we are in today.

Now we are beginning to accept the party might be smaller or not at all and we can take it as an opportunity to take it easy on "the [unusual] big day." We are also opting not to live together till marriage. We rent a place together, so I am paying double rent to live elsewhere so postponing long term is not too financially viable.

As another poster pointed out, it is a silver lining that we can take the foot off the pedal and savour THE wedding day and come back another time to celebrate big time, please God.

Neyite wrote: »

Maybe the pandemic can be advantageous to many couples to throw out the rule book of what's expected of them or overturn decisions based on pressure from relatives to add elements to their wedding that they didn't want and just use the current anarchy of the moment to change things back to what YOU both want.

You don't want the big crowd your parents insisted 'had' to be invited? Pandemic.
You don't want vile Auntie Margie there? Pandemic.
You don't want to have that band you aren't keen on but the oldies love because they did your sisters wedding? Pandemic.

folks, the possiblities are endless

This is exactly the what we are doing, we've cancelled our big quite traditional wedding and are starting from scratch, with a more uniquely tailored day for our personalities.
We're still hoping to go ahead in October, but won't actually book anything till venues reopen properly. If we have to wait until next year then so be it. Just going with a Dublin city ceremony at sundown and an after party in a funky venue. No sit down meal, transport or hotel to organise.

Our baby is due December, so we're focusing on that ray of sunshine right now.

Teach30 wrote: »

We’ve picked a peak date again so that’s why it’s hard to get any decent suppliers.

Why don't you consider an off-peak date instead? You'll be much more likely to secure your original suppliers.