2020 Bride/Groom

woodchuck

Neyite wrote: »

I've rescheduled until next year, mainly because we've lots of overseas guests and quarintine isn't workable for them. As well as that we've a lot of older guests who would have reason to be very scared of catching the virus so they would more than likely decline anyway.

Thanks Neyite, we're leaning towards postponing atm too for the reasons I mentioned above.

I suppose there's also the unknown of what way things will be like next year. Things might get better, or worse, or be the exact same. It's so hard to know! If we were guaranteed that things would be back to normal next year, I'd definitely postpone right now. I suppose I'm afraid in case we postpone, things are worse next year (e.g. another wave/surge/lockdown) and we're kicking ourselves for not going ahead in September.

blacklilly

woodchuck wrote: »

Thanks blacklilly. I'm in the HIGM facebook group and I think most people are looking at it the same way as you. I.e. they're not concerned about social distancing and see it proceeding as a "normal" wedding for the most part.

I agree that it won't really be feasible for the staff to enforce social distancing before/after the meal, especially as they won't be aware of who are in the same household groups (you'd have egg on your face if you tried to separate a married couple!).

I'm afraid that different guests will have different attitudes though. There will be some that will have complete disregard for the 2 metre rule and others who swear by it. So I'm afraid of ending up with a situation where certain guests are very uncomfortable if they're expecting a 2 metre rule and it gets completely thrown out the window. Personally I wouldn't want to encroach on anyone's 2 metre space, as I wouldn't want to make them feel unsafe, but that's just me.

Maybe I'm overthinking the whole thing though

No I don’t think you are and it is something we’ve thought about. However I also think it’s very naive of any guest to expect social distancing throughout the day. That’s why I mentioned that in my opinion if you accept an invite to a wedding it should be accepted on the basis of accepting that social distancing won’t be perfect throughout the day.
We might even put something like that on our 2nd round invites.
It’s an impossible situation for us all, you cannot keep everyone happy or safe for that matter but personal responsibility is at the forefront of all of this. If you are nervous about Covid, it is best not to attend a wedding IMO

blacklilly

woodchuck wrote: »

Thanks Neyite, we're leaning towards postponing atm too for the reasons I mentioned above.

I suppose there's also the unknown of what way things will be like next year. Things might get better, or worse, or be the exact same. It's so hard to know! If we were guaranteed that things would be back to normal next year, I'd definitely postpone right now. I suppose I'm afraid in case we postpone, things are worse next year (e.g. another wave/surge/lockdown) and we're kicking ourselves for not going ahead in September.

That is exactly why we are going ahead. There are just no guarantees with this

Atomic Pineapple

Just posting this as an idea that some people getting married might want to explore if your wedding is occurring under social distancing requirements. As others have said some people won't pay any heed to the requirement, and will shake hands, hug, and generally act as they would at a wedding under normal circumstances. While others will be very nervous and not wish to be interacting with people in close quarters at all. One way to help is to make it obvious at your wedding who is who. One idea I have seen is to give people a red ribbon they can wear around their wrist if they want people to keep their distance from them, and give those who have less concerns a green ribbon. Ask your guests to bare in mind the colour of the ribbons as they interact with other guests throughout the day.

woodchuck

Atomic Pineapple wrote: »

Just posting this as an idea that some people getting married might want to explore if your wedding is occurring under social distancing requirements. As others have said some people won't pay any heed to the requirement, and will shake hands, hug, and generally act as they would at a wedding under normal circumstances. While others will be very nervous and not wish to be interacting with people in close quarters at all. One way to help is to make it obvious at your wedding who is who. One idea I have seen is to give people a red ribbon they can wear around their wrist if they want people to keep their distance from them, and give those who have less concerns a green ribbon. Ask your guests to bare in mind the colour of the ribbons as they interact with other guests throughout the day.

Yeah I've seen a similar idea with wrist bands. A traffic light system with green, yellow and red depending on how comfortable you are. It's a simple enough idea, but could put a lot of people at ease!

I just wonder if the venues would have anything to say about it though? They're meant to be operating under social distancing rules, so if people wear a green band/ribbon, it might put them in a vulnerable position.

addaword

Atomic Pineapple wrote: »

As others have said some people won't pay any heed to the requirement, and will shake hands, hug, and generally act as they would at a wedding under normal circumstances.

The virus has not gone away. Three months ago someone - just one person - at another wedding infected two dozen people. Until there is a vaccine, hotels should ensure if people are irresponsible then they should be escorted off the property, to limit the hotels liability in the event of later claims.

woodchuck

addaword wrote: »

Until there is a vaccine, hotels should ensure if people are irresponsible then they should be escorted off the property, to limit the hotels liability in the event of later claims.

How do they know which people are part of the same household though and therefore able to physically interact with each other? Are they going to escort the Bride's granny off the premises for giving her grand-daughter a quick hug on her wedding day?

People need to take personal responsibility for their actions during these times. There is only so much that you can expect the hotel to do. They can set up the seats at the required social distance and put in all the other measures that is expected of them, but I don't think it should be up to them to go around with a measuring tape for the entire day ensuring everyone keeps their distance.

People really need to just have a bit of cop on. If there is someone who is really taking the p1ss though, the couple could ask the best man to have a word with the trouble maker.

blacklilly

addaword wrote: »

The virus has not gone away. Three months ago someone - just one person - at another wedding infected two dozen people. Until there is a vaccine, hotels should ensure if people are irresponsible then they should be escorted off the property, to limit the hotels liability in the event of later claims.

My view on attending weddings before a vaccine is founds is that you go on the basis that social distancing will not be enforced. If you are uncomfortable with this, then you shouldn’t go.
It is going to be impossible to monitor and enforce social distancing throughout the day. Hotels aren’t childminders, they can’t spend their day ensuring everyone is 2m away from each other.

Shelli2

As long as the hotel has set a capacity based on the space available to allow for social distancing, and has followed all requirements for serving etc. Then the onus is on the attendee to follow guidelines.
If the venue has PPE for staff, adequate queue space for anywhere required with 2mtr distance markings, has set up tables allowing for distancing etc, then the guest it responsible for themselves, no court in the land would find a venue liable if you contract Corona under these circumstances.
It's not possible to enforce social distancing, it's only possible to facilitate it.

spitonmedickie

First time poster here! Going to try get married in December with a small enough number that can hopefully go ahead. Was going to get wedding insurance to cover things anyway but does anyone know any insurance companies still covering claims resulting from Covid19? A few have disclaimers on their sites saying they don't, is anyone?

Neyite

I think they swiftly took out that clause.

I don't think you can get it

woodchuck

I heard that insurance companies were refusing to pay out for Covid-19 related issues, even for couples who took out the insurance well before the pandemic. Once the pandemic started, they were quick sharp to highlight that Covid-19 related claims wouldn't be covered for new policies. I don't think anyone has a hope of getting cover for Covid-19 now as it's obviously a known issue.

Goose76

spitonmedickie wrote: »

First time poster here! Going to try get married in December with a small enough number that can hopefully go ahead. Was going to get wedding insurance to cover things anyway but does anyone know any insurance companies still covering claims resulting from Covid19? A few have disclaimers on their sites saying they don't, is anyone?

is it possible to get insurance if a venue closes down, as a result of business slowdown due to COVID-19? I'd be afraid this would fall under the general 'COVID-Clause'.

blacklilly

Is anyone here due to get married in the next few weeks?
We postponed from May to August and the excitement has been totally taken out of it again. I’m just so disheartened about it all.
Totally appreciate there are worse things that could happen.
I’m just really trying to put on a brave face but I’m so upset about it.
It’s just the unknown and constantly checking to see how many cases there are each day.
Right now, I feel like I did in March when we postponed the first time around.
We really don’t want to postpone again, I feel so sad that I may not be able to have my friends there to celebrate the day with me. It’s just crap

customrifle

blacklilly wrote: »

Is anyone here due to get married in the next few weeks?
We postponed from May to August and the excitement has been totally taken out of it again. I’m just so disheartened about it all.
Totally appreciate there are worse things that could happen.
I’m just really trying to put on a brave face but I’m so upset about it.
It’s just the unknown and constantly checking to see how many cases there are each day.
Right now, I feel like I did in March when we postponed the first time around.
We really don’t want to postpone again, I feel so sad that I may not be able to have my friends there to celebrate the day with me. It’s just crap

We are due to get married early September and were starting to feel positive again until the set back this week. Our numbers are 90 approx so I'm hopeful all will be well for then but my fiancee is quite disheartened at this stage. It's a private venue and they require 8 staff so if we are permitted the magic 100 number by then all should be well. If not then the next available date the venue had left for next year is early October so its quite a wait until then. Hopefully you get to go ahead with yer day in August and people's lives can start moving forward

Shelli2

We decided to go the route of doing a small legal ceremony and having the big party down the line sometime.
Our original date was May.
We've 20 immediate family attending a civil ceremony next Friday, with a BBQ for 40 afterwards. My fiancé's mother kindly agreed to host, they live very rural and have lots of space, so we ended up hiring a marquee just in case weather is not in our favour and got a local company to cater the BBQ.

woodchuck

Shelli2 wrote: »

We decided to go the route of doing a small legal ceremony and having the big party down the line sometime.
Our original date was May.
We've 20 immediate family attending a civil ceremony next Friday, with a BBQ for 40 afterwards. My fiancé's mother kindly agreed to host, they live very rural and have lots of space, so we ended up hiring a marquee just in case weather is not in our favour and got a local company to cater the BBQ.

That sounds lovely. If all of our immediate family could attend, we'd probably do something similar this year (and just skip the big party tbh). However we both have siblings living abroad and the day just wouldn't feel the same without them. Our only immediate family that would be able to attend this year are our parents.

Although the situation with our siblings wasn't the only reason, we did finally decided to postpone from Sept 2020 to May 2021. Tbh I'm not confident that things will have improved drastically by then, but I'm hoping that maybe they'll have found a way to resume international travel safety (e.g. regular testing instead of self-isolating).

lisasimpson

My OH got very disheartened after the last announcement. We are going to go down the immedidate family route if all comes to all.
On a side note the sonnet that Princess Beatrice would make a lovely reflection for all the covid couples whenever their day comes

ilovesmybrick

customrifle wrote: »

We are due to get married early September and were starting to feel positive again until the set back this week. Our numbers are 90 approx so I'm hopeful all will be well for then but my fiancee is quite disheartened at this stage. It's a private venue and they require 8 staff so if we are permitted the magic 100 number by then all should be well. If not then the next available date the venue had left for next year is early October so its quite a wait until then. Hopefully you get to go ahead with yer day in August and people's lives can start moving forward

I'm in the exact same position (except early October). Talking to the venue a couple of weeks ago we decided to cut numbers down to 90, which was tough but fine as they expected an increase in numbers by October. However, I've been the one maintaining the positivity over the past few months as my OH is a bit more pragmatic, and when MM came out with the changes last week it was a serious blow to my own optimism. We have the added problem that we're travelling back from the continent for it.

I'm presuming I'm not the only one that has had the issue of trying to maintain an optimistic face for the OH in the face of the insanity while secretly holding onto my own doubts. I was fairly positive right up until the backtrack last week, and now at a loss, because it looks like I was being quite naive about everything.

alicantra123

Hi all,

I'm in a similar boat and had postponed from April 2020 to October 2020. I am going to go ahead in October even if it can only be a small thing, but it has been very difficult trying to negotiate this with the venue. Can I ask for people who have decided not to postpone and to just go ahead with something small, how did you manage this with the venue? We have 25% cancellation at this point so no matter what we do it will cost about 3,500e. I would love to completely forego the venue and have a lovely small reception perhaps in a restaurant for that money but it feels like I don't have a choice at this stage. I understand where the venue is coming from, but if we can't have anything that we agreed when we first signed the contracts (different reception room, smaller numbers, socially distanced dancefloor etc.) it seems very unfair that we would lose our deposit plus extra is we cancel?

I really would love to hear form anyone who is in a similar position and how they are negotiating it?

woodchuck

alicantra123 wrote: »

Can I ask for people who have decided not to postpone and to just go ahead with something small, how did you manage this with the venue? We have 25% cancellation at this point so no matter what we do it will cost about 3,500e. I would love to completely forego the venue and have a lovely small reception perhaps in a restaurant for that money but it feels like I don't have a choice at this stage. I understand where the venue is coming from, but if we can't have anything that we agreed when we first signed the contracts (different reception room, smaller numbers, socially distanced dancefloor etc.) it seems very unfair that we would lose our deposit plus extra is we cancel?

Our venue told us that they would tie us to the minimum number/spend in our contract (it's below the governments recommendation of 100 for the next phase). We didn't push them too hard on this though, just asked the question. We decided to postpone in the end and this was just one of many reasons. I hated the idea of feeling ripped off, as we anticipated that we'd have nearly half the number we originally planned (loads living abroad or in a vulnerable category). So the cost per head would've nearly doubled. And like that, for what you'd feel is a somewhat substandard day (socially distancing etc). We briefly considered going to a different venue, but we'd be losing the deposit and we had other reasons to postpone anyway.

If it's the deciding factor for you though, I'd try and reason with the venue as much as possible. Get them on the phone instead of by email, so that you can have a proper conversation with them. If they won't reduce the minimum numbers/spend, see if maybe they'd be willing to throw in a few freebies instead. If they get the impression that you're willing to move venues, maybe they'll do what they can to keep your wedding there. But tbh, I wouldn't expect a whole lot. They're all down a lot of money the past few months and with weddings officially able to proceed now, I think they're within their rights to hold you to the contract.

redmond08

Our wedding was meant to be late March, then it got pushed to mid July & now it's September. We had guest numbers around 150 & were hoping that number would be allowed, but last week was a big blow. I think we're going to go ahead whatever the numbers are & maybe have a party later on down the line. But our venue did say that the Irish Hotels Federation is fighting with the government to have it done by the venue size. So for example, our venue can usual hold I think around 250, but with social distancing it can hold around 180.

lisasimpson

Hi there
We were meant to be May and moved to October. When we moved the date at the end of march we got a new contract. A month ago they asked us to sign a new one and sent it back. Before we signed i contacted the venue about the minimum and how we had changed from a peak day to a midweek day.
We got a small reduction in the rate per head and they changes min of 150 to 120 people. They also included the line..subject 120 was subject to government restrictions. So msybe ask your venue for an updated contract to reflect your new date and go from their

We are still go ahead even if its just immediate family as this uncertainty is going to be around well into next year and we just want to get on with our lives. For me the wedding is something thats hanging over us and thats not how you should feel about your wedding
We will prob loose money as our contract required a percentage payment at 9, 6 &3 months all of which we hit before the covid mayhem

customrifle

lisasimpson wrote: »

Hi there
We were meant to be May and moved to October. When we moved the date at the end of march we got a new contract. A month ago they asked us to sign a new one and sent it back. Before we signed i contacted the venue about the minimum and how we had changed from a peak day to a midweek day.
We got a small reduction in the rate per head and they changes min of 150 to 120 people. They also included the line..subject 120 was subject to government restrictions. So msybe ask your venue for an updated contract to reflect your new date and go from their

We are still go ahead even if its just immediate family as this uncertainty is going to be around well into next year and we just want to get on with our lives. For me the wedding is something thats hanging over us and thats not how you should feel about your wedding
We will prob loose money as our contract required a percentage payment at 9, 6 &3 months all of which we hit before the covid mayhem

We are the same, so just have our final payment with the venue having made the other 3 deposits as we went. Also initially we didn't want to have the stress of having to pay different suppliers on the day so paid them all in full at the start, as I say to herself "shur it ll be grand". I think if I say it enough I'll believe it too. All our suppliers have agreed to a alternative date next October but that does feel like a world away at this stage and with all the uncertainty going forward I think the stresses of another year waiting and not knowing how things will be then would be extremely tough on couples. Roll on September and fingers crossed.
On a side note if venues are limited to 50 for indoor gatherings at the moment how does it work when you have large hotels having double that sitting for their dinners like I witnessed while out for lunch on Sunday. Surely if they can safely distance their customers for small groups for dinner they can do it for a combined group of the same numbers

woodchuck

customrifle wrote: »

On a side note if venues are limited to 50 for indoor gatherings at the moment how does it work when you have large hotels having double that sitting for their dinners like I witnessed while out for lunch on Sunday. Surely if they can safely distance their customers for small groups for dinner they can do it for a combined group of the same numbers

I've heard a lot of people making this argument, but there's a big difference between just having a meal at a restaurant vs a wedding.

If you go to a meal at a restaurant, you're with your small group (all of whom are probably already in your close contact group) for max 1hr 45mins. If the restaurants are doings things correctly, they'll have all the tables properly spaced out and/or perspex between the tables. Naturally there won't be mixing between the tables, as you're very unlikely to know anyone at the other tables. You risk getting close to other diners very briefly as you leave/enter the restaurant or go to/from the toilets, but that's about it really.

A wedding is a whole different matter though. It's not just a sit down meal for 1hr 45min with one very small group. As we all know, a wedding typically it lasts the whole day, including a drinks reception in the afternoon for a couple of hours and dancing after the meal until the wee hours. And even during the meal people usually don't stick to their own tables, they'll drop by their friends/relatives at other tables for the chats. The venues can put up as many signs etc as they're required, but at the end of the day we all know that social distancing is likely to fly out the window for a lot of people at a wedding, especially when there's drink involved. So you now have up to 50 close contacts after attending a wedding instead of just say 4 if you were purely going to a restaurant for a meal.

It's all about reducing the number of close contacts. That's my take on it anyway.

cant26

Has anyone who got married recently applied for a marriage cert? Do you know if the local births, deaths and marriages offices are open?

Got married in February and didn’t bother getting the certificate but now need it for a mortgage application and online is telling me 20 working days!!!
Don’t have time for that, I’m wondering if the local office would do it straight away the way they give you birth certificates straight away.

Pen Rua

cant26 wrote: »

Has anyone who got married recently applied for a marriage cert? Do you know if the local births, deaths and marriages offices are open?

Got married in February and didn’t bother getting the certificate but now need it for a mortgage application and online is telling me 20 working days!!!
Don’t have time for that, I’m wondering if the local office would do it straight away the way they give you birth certificates straight away.

Cork City - short answer, yes. I visited in person and was able to get them in a couple of minutes. They let me know that in future, you can ring and ask for them. You can then collect, or have them posted to you. Of course, arrangements may vary by office.

cant26

Pen Rua wrote: »

Cork City - short answer, yes. I visited in person and was able to get them in a couple of minutes. They let me know that in future, you can ring and ask for them. You can then collect, or have them posted to you. Of course, arrangements may vary by office.

Perfect will try our local office tomorrow. 20 working days is madness!!

Pen Rua

cant26 wrote: »

Perfect will try our local office tomorrow. 20 working days is madness!!

They quoted you 20 working days to arrange a cert?! Wow! Perhaps it's because I went in so close to closing time that they just wanted to deal with me and get me out. One lady took the details, whilst another logged those details for contact tracing whilst a third was pulling up the cert on the computer as I was speaking. Efficiency...!