Hard to handle life right now.

Xaracatz · 13-11-2016 11:41pm

Oh bear1 - I'm so sorry.

I read your first post a while ago, but I didn't follow the thread as it's a little close to my heart. I was thinking about you though, and then saw your post on another thread where you said what happened.

I've read through now and you've been amazing in your posts and there are a lot of people here who care. Like you said, this week will be the worst, but it will get better, and better. I promise you.

Wishing you and your wife and your children - and your future children(!) all the very best - and a virtual hug.

cbyrd · 13-11-2016 11:45pm

Rest in peace little Jack,

minibear · 14-11-2016 2:35am

bear1 I am so sorry.

For as long as necessary you need to just focus on your little family now. Do whatever it takes to get through the coming days and months. Christmas will be difficult and you might wonder about "celebrating" it this year. Personally I went ahead and decorated the house as much as ever. It somehow brought me a sense of peace. You might like to buy a special little bauble for the tree, to remember Jack. I do this each year. What a lovely idea of buying the sports car.

I know things are so brutally raw for you now and you are probably just getting through each day but I promise you that the pain will get easier to bear.

If there are any follow up appointments at the hospital or at a health centre you might want to arrange to be seen as quickly as possible. Rather than having to sit surrounded by mothers and babies because I remember I couldn't even look at a little baby for a long time.it just broke my heart. Also, when we had to go to register our sons death I rang ahead and we were seen quickly and dealt with efficiently, with sympathy and understanding. Don't forget to look up A Little Lifetime parents forum, you will be made very welcome there.

minibear

mansize · 14-11-2016 4:59am

RIP Jack Bear

pure.conya · 14-11-2016 11:32am

RIP Jack

MrJones1973 · 14-11-2016 12:44pm

i just came across this thread. My heart goes out to you. The only comfort is that even when in the womb the child was loved. And you will continue to cherish the memory of his life.

Summer wind · 14-11-2016 1:32pm

Hi Bear1 I'm sitting here in my kitchen thinking of you and your wife and family at little baby Jacks funeral today. I'm so sorry to hear that your beautiful little baby Jack has died. Life can be so cruel and I'm so sorry for all you and your wife have been through. May little baby Jack Rest In Peace.

Lisha · 14-11-2016 1:47pm

RIP Jack.

To you and your wife and family Bear all I can offer you is my best wishes and I wish you peace.

It is a very tough loss to get through. Family members suffered such a loss (of twins at 22weeks in pregnancy) someyears ago. As a family we try and mention those babies names as easily as we do all our nieces and nephews.
My own children were born after those boys and yet they know their names and they know how much those boys meant to all of us in the family.

I once heard someone ask the mother how she got though it and her reply simply was 'when you are in hell all you can do is keep going'

I wish you peace Bear and please be kind to yourself.

Every best wish.

Four Phucs Ache · 14-11-2016 1:59pm

Thinking of you and yours.

RIP little Jack bear.

14-11-2016 1:59pm

My deepest sympathies to you and your wife Bear, and to all of you who have experienced the loss of your baby.

Rest in Peace baby Jack xx

the_syco · 14-11-2016 2:01pm

bear1 wrote: »

I've been off work now for a while which seems to be worse as I've nothing to take my mind off of things.

Check out the Mens Sheds; it may help give your mind a break for a few hours.

bear1 · 20-04-2018 6:16pm

So I think I'll update this to reflect how things have gone.
April 18th of this year we welcomed into the world our 2nd daugher, Sofia

It's been a turbulent time from the death to when we decided to give it another go.
She came in weighing a nice and healthy 3,04kg and not a hint of anything wrong with her. Her poos on the other hand worry the bejaysis out of me.
Jack comes into our minds quite often but it's more now in a happier tone than one of sheer sadness.
It's amazing how something that you've never held or seen can have such an impact on your life.
Onwards and upwards from here on out

Allinall · 20-04-2018 6:19pm

bear1 wrote: »

So I think I'll update this to reflect how things have gone.
April 18th of this year we welcomed into the world our 2nd daugher, Sofia
It's been a turbulent time from the death to when we decided to give it another go.
She came in weighing a nice and healthy 3,04kg and not a hint of anything wrong with her. Her poos on the other hand worry the bejaysis out of me.
Jack comes into our minds quite often but it's more now in a happier tone than one of sheer sadness.
It's amazing how something that you've never held or seen can have such an impact on your life.
Onwards and upwards from here on out

Congratulations!

Delighted to hear things are on the up.

Autosport · 20-04-2018 9:28pm

Congratulations Bear

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 20-04-2018 9:34pm

Delighted a corner has been turned.

Lisha · 20-04-2018 9:54pm

Every best wish to you all bear.
Im delighted for you.
Congrats.

tayto lover · 20-04-2018 10:06pm

Great news bear1. Hope you are all happy as you deserve it.

volchitsa · 20-04-2018 10:21pm

Delighted to hear that, Bear, you've had a tough time so it's great to hear that things are looking so much better now.

bear1 · 20-04-2018 10:29pm

Thanks everyone

a nice ending to a nightmare story.

Lisha · 20-04-2018 10:33pm

bear1 wrote: »

Thanks everyone a nice ending to a nightmare story.

The best bits are all ahead of ye now. Enjoy Sofia (I just love the name)

zoe 3619 · 20-04-2018 10:36pm

Delighted for you.
Congratulations and hugs to you and the family.

take everything · 20-04-2018 10:47pm

Love the name Sofia.
Means wisdom.

aw · 20-04-2018 11:03pm

Congratulations to you and to your family!
And thank you for your update, sincerely. Always nice to hear some good news.

BabysCoffee · 20-04-2018 11:10pm

Congratulations on the new baby. I am glad to hear of your good news after what you and your wife have been through. Enjoy every minute with your little girl.

Green Peter · 20-04-2018 11:16pm

Best to all!

mfceiling · 20-04-2018 11:18pm

That's fantastic news bear!!
Congratulations to you and the wife....and little Sofia!!

enda1 · 20-04-2018 11:49pm

Wonderful news! Congratulations and the warmest regards to you and your loved ones

jennyhayes123 · 21-04-2018 2:01am

That is amazing news. Congrats to you all. You deserve a happy ending x

Purple Mountain · 21-04-2018 2:05am

I remember your pain.
Glad to hear Sofia arrived safely x

robarmstrong · 21-04-2018 2:12am

bear1 wrote: »

So I think I'll update this to reflect how things have gone.
April 18th of this year we welcomed into the world our 2nd daugher, Sofia
It's been a turbulent time from the death to when we decided to give it another go.
She came in weighing a nice and healthy 3,04kg and not a hint of anything wrong with her. Her poos on the other hand worry the bejaysis out of me.
Jack comes into our minds quite often but it's more now in a happier tone than one of sheer sadness.
It's amazing how something that you've never held or seen can have such an impact on your life.
Onwards and upwards from here on out

I'm so happy for you man, both your partner and mine went through the heartbreak of miscarriage at around the same time and now look, you have a baby girl and in three months.....

My partner and I will also have a baby girl, boardsie playdate.

NIMAN · 21-04-2018 2:15am

Just happened upon this thread tonight, having missed it when it first appeared.

It was a very very sad read, my heart goes out to you and your wife Bear, it must have been an awful time for you both. Sometimes it puts everything into perspective when you read about the hardships others have to endure.

But you both seem to have come out the other side ok. So happy to read that when you think of Jack you are no longer gripped by overwhelming sadness. I hope Sofia is doing well and your family is finding the time to heal and move on. It appears so.

As long as you all remember Jack, he'll never really be gone.

Take care.

KKkitty · 21-04-2018 2:25am

Bear after reading through all you've been through I'm beyond happy for you and your family. Jack will never be forgotten but Sofia is the sunshine after the storm. Give your wife a big hug from all of us boardsies and don't be shy with updates on how Sofia is doing. We can't wait to hear how she's doing.

weiland79 · 21-04-2018 2:53am

I too just came across this thread tonight. Absolutely heartbreaking.

Im delighted for you both that little sofia has joined your little family and i hope all four of you have a wonderfully happy life together. You deserve it.

IrishZeus · 21-04-2018 7:54am

Genuinely delighted for you Bear. Remember reading and commenting on this thread 2 years and trying to imagine what you were going through.

Fantastic news and many congratulations.

ford2600 · 21-04-2018 8:10am

A really nice update to a thread I hadn't seen before, great news after a tragic loss of a beautiful baby.

Most people probably won't know this but about 500 couples lose babies every year whether miscarriage, neo natal death. That's almost 3 times road deaths; it's a staggering amount of pain. Often a silent one; people often don't know what to say or how to grieve for dead babies.

Little Lifetimes and feileacain are two organisations which help couples in this situation.

Well done to OP for opening thread, father's are often forgotten with the loss of a baby or expected to be strong. Delighted you and your family have a new arrival

21-04-2018 8:48am

I read this thread originally, heartbreaking.
I read the update, twould bring a grown man to smile with eyes welling up.

Congratulations to ye all and Sofia will always have an older brother ..... do tell her about Jack in due course.

jimgoose · 21-04-2018 1:10pm

Well-hoofed Chief, and lady Bear and small Bears.

whiskeyman · 21-04-2018 1:54pm

Brilliant news! Congrats to you all!

This thread should be a sticky.
It shows what life can throw at you in all its pain and all its beauty.
You just never know what others are going through.

Summer wind · 21-04-2018 3:07pm

Congratulations to everyone. So delighted to hear this great news:)

biketard · 23-04-2018 2:21pm

I'm so very happy for you, bear1. Thank you for the update. It's put a real smile on my face.

cbyrd · 24-04-2018 2:21pm

bear1 wrote:

So I think I'll update this to reflect how things have gone. April 18th of this year we welcomed into the world our 2nd daugher, Sofia

Huge congratulations bear1. I'm so delighted for your family. You deserve all the happiness she brings.

24-04-2018 2:39pm

Congrats Bear

And congrats to Rob too!

This is so much more exciting than the birth of a royal baby. We have proper princesses right here in this thread.

Princess Sofia and Princess tbc