Anyone else not want children?

Tesco Frog Muffin · 20-06-2013 1:35pm

Steve.N wrote: »

I knew in my 20s that I didn't want to have children, it may sound selfish to some, but I didn't want to be tied down and miserable like many of my procreating friends/ work colleagues who had families. It just held no appeal for me at all!

I moved to Ireland and met my Irish colleen 12yrs ago when I was 30 (she was 26), I think it's important to be honest with your partner from the offset (not in the 1st few dates but the subject was brought up early on) as having kids for them could be a deal-breaker, if it was a deal breaker then I would fully understand! By chance I'd met one of the very few women in Ireland who also didn't see herself having children.

As a married couple we have spent years of getting sly comments from most of my wives family about our decision and are constantly getting told that we'd change out minds one day or 'it'll be different when a baby comes along' - How deaf are they - WE DON'T WANT CHILDREN!! We know our own minds at 42yrs & 38yrs old.

We are defo not child haters and love having our friend kids around as and they give us such a laugh. My wife is also fabulous with children but, we can hand them back when playtime is over and always give a sigh of relief when we do - Ah piece and quiet again!

Surprisingly two of the couples with new families that we pally around with often openly confess how lucky they think we are and how stuck in a hole they feel - Not lucky guys, we just thought it through thoroughly from every angle!

We have a great life- holiday constantly, do what we want when we want, ride our motorbikes, go flying in our plane, go kayaking and generally spend lots of quality time together without the burden or time constraints of having kids!

There are presently 6 billion people on this planet and will be 11 billion by the turn of the century. We presently can't feed the 6 billion that currently occupy our increasingly squeezed planet so by myself and my wife not having kids won't make any impact on global population levels! In fact, if I had my way the 1 x child rule as per China would be brought in globally for a few decades to bring down world-wide population levels.

I have no issue and also respect people like many of our friends who work hard to provide for their families, love their children and give them everything that they possibly can (not just Ps3s and alike but give them quality time) - after all isn't that why you have children??

As I have respect for them, shouldn't people respect our decision not to have children - after all I can guarantee that we probably put more thought and discussion about the merits for and against than most folk who just churn out baby after baby.

David Mayer de Rothschild?

LizT · 20-06-2013 1:39pm

The amount of judgement on each side is sickening. Don't want kids? Don't have them. Want kids? Try your best to conceive. End of. Either way, it is selfish because you're choosing to do something that makes you happy. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I hate reading all the 'oh you wouldn't understand because you don't have children' arguments and the 'I'd never have kids because they're a drain, I feel pity for anyone who does' arguments. Do people really care about how others chose to live their life that much? What gives any of us the right to judge others based on whether they have kids or not?

Femme_Fatale · 20-06-2013 2:04pm

Erper wrote: »

I see that most of you bashing about "No I dont want this or dont want that, dont want to raise kid in this environment, dont want to wipe their ass" etc...

But lets say that everyone start to think like individual, than what..

Do we have to end like Clive Owen in "Children of men" where we would need to search for a person who might do give a birth and start civilization all over again??

No matter if they are infertility or stubborn or selfish, is that the future that is waiting for us?

This does not make sense. It isn't the future waiting for us so what's the point in citing it?

There have always been people who genuinely want children and there always will be. Then there are, as you said, people who think they don't want to have children, but e.g. biology, meeting the right person, a specific experience (for instance miscarrying an unplanned-for baby) changes their outlook completely.

But then there are people who simply do not wish to be parents. And there have always been; it's just that societal expectations and lack of contraception meant it happened anyway. And is that a good thing? Having children when you really don't want to?

You're projecting your own personal take onto others a fair bit, which is naive and unfair. It's insulting to tell people they are selfish (when it doesn't affect others) for not having children/not wanting to have them just because you personally want it. The way you're talking, it's as if this feeling is a choice. People can't help it if they would not like to have children; just like people can't help it if they really do want children, or don't know whether they do or not (I'd fit into the latter camp as I can't say for certain, but I genuinely have never felt an overwhelming sense of broodiness, even if I turn into mush around babies).
In times past, children had no rights - they were sent to work when tiny, sent to brutal institutions, simply seen as labour. Harsh physical abuse was the norm. These were partially the results of people who did not want children having children because they had to. Not saying anyone who ends up having a child when they hadn't planned to would abuse them (obviously the vast majority wouldn't) but an innately cruel person having a child they do not want to have... doesn't bear thinking about.
It is surely only a positive that there is more choice now.

Gyalist · 20-06-2013 2:05pm

Steve.N wrote: »

We have a great life- holiday constantly, do what we want when we want, ride our motorbikes, go flying in our plane, go kayaking and generally spend lots of quality time together without the burden or time constraints of having kids!

There are presently 6 billion people on this planet and will be 11 billion by the turn of the century. We presently can't feed the 6 billion that currently occupy our increasingly squeezed planet so by myself and my wife not having kids won't make any impact on global population levels! In fact, if I had my way the 1 x child rule as per China would be brought in globally for a few decades to bring down world-wide population levels.

This is a common argument that I've heard over the years from some childfree couples. However, it is a fatuous argument that is fatally compromised by your lifestyle choices. On one hand your bemoan the size of the world's population and its alleged inability to feed itself while on the other hand, through your lifestyle choices, you use up more of the world's resources in a year than the majority of people in the developing world would in their lifetimes. It is an argument that lacks internal consistency.

I don't care one way or the other if people choose to be childfree or have children, but trying to justify being childfree as some high-minded choice to save the environment is risible. It would be more honest to say that you chose to be childfree because you want to keep the lifestyle that you currently enjoy.

Steve.N · 20-06-2013 2:08pm

ibarelycare wrote: »

Your life sounds awesome, this is exactly what I want!

I'm happy to spend time with my nephews and nieces, and I'll be happy to spend time with my friends' children when they come along, but that's enough for me. I'm not good with kids anyway. I'm great with babies, I adore them, but I start to lose interest when they start talking.

Not having children is definitely the correct decision for us!

When my grandmother was in hospital a number of years ago, there were two old ladies lying in beds across from her. One was always sitting up reading a book while the other always begged me in tears sometimes to take her home as her son & daughter would be there to look after her - Every visit for 6wks I got the same story, it was heart wrenching! A nurse saw this one day and told me that she had three children who were lived quite local to the hospital and in the 5mnths she's been on the ward no-one ever came to visit her. The old lady clung on every day thinking that the next person through the door may be one of her children - She died waiting!

The other old lady it turned out had no children. She knew that her days were numbered, her husband had died a few years ago but she knew that there was no family who were coming to visit as she had none! She accepted her lot and just got on with it!

Who would you rather be? The person knowing that there's no-one coming or the sad old lady who gave birth to three children who have nothing to do with their dying mother and leave her everyday totally heartbroken clinging on that someone was coming to visit her?

Tesco Frog Muffin · 20-06-2013 2:09pm

What's that? Do I want to take care of a screeching little brat, dispose of his ****, dish out OUTRAGEOUS amounts of money for up to 20+ years and get nothing back in return?

.....I'd rather commit suicide my self-disembowelment.

Condoms were invented for a reason, folks.

Tesco Frog Muffin · 20-06-2013 2:14pm

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

But then there are people who simply do not wish to be parents. And there have always been; it's just that societal expectations and lack of contraception meant it happened anyway. And is that a good thing? Having children when you really don't want to?.

Animals have them unsuspectingly. We are animals, but with a rational mind. When we see a potential opportunity to do something, which will bring ALL pain, and no gain (such as having kids) we are intelligent enough to do the rational thing and avoid making that choice.

People are simply looking for fulfilment in life, nothing works, so they think "Hey, it must be kids that's missing" then they have one of the snot-nosed little demons, are miserable, but with the aid of a little trick of biology develop an emotional attachment to their kids.

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 2:20pm

Steve.N wrote: »

Not having children is definitely the correct decision for us!

When my grandmother was in hospital a number of years ago, there were two old ladies lying in beds across from her. One was always sitting up reading a book while the other always begged me in tears sometimes to take her home as her son & daughter would be there to look after her - Every visit for 6wks I got the same story, it was heart wrenching! A nurse saw this one day and told me that she had three children who were lived quite local to the hospital and in the 5mnths she's been on the ward no-one ever came to visit her. The old lady clung on every day thinking that the next person through the door may be one of her children - She died waiting!

The other old lady it turned out had no children. She knew that her days were numbered, her husband had died a few years ago but she knew that there was no family who were coming to visit as she had none! She accepted her lot and just got on with it!

Who would you rather be? The person knowing that there's no-one coming or the sad old lady who gave birth to three children who have nothing to do with their dying mother and leave her everyday totally heartbroken clinging on that someone was coming to visit her?

um...I dont think this is the norm??

Pumpkinseeds · 20-06-2013 2:34pm

keith16 wrote: »

Yeah, cos that's all there is to being a parent. You might want to take a look at your own condescending attitude there.

How about you stop bothering those of us who really have no interest what you get up to in your bedroom. Because, and trust me when I say this, nobody gives a damn.

Oops, sounds like I've touched a nerve:D As I said, I don't care if people choose to have kids or not and it tends to be people who have kids who are the ones who have the condescending attitude towards those of us who don't want any. I have yet to see a happy parent pushing a pram. I don't know what there is to being a parent as I honestly don't give a damn, which is why I don't have any kids Keith.

keith16 · 20-06-2013 2:48pm

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I have yet to see a happy parent pushing a pram. I don't know what there is to being a parent as I honestly don't give a damn, which is why I don't have any kids Keith.

hmm...you say you don't care, but then, maybe that's why you haven't seen any happy parents? Presumably you haven't seen any sad ones either? Or maybe you do care?

Frank Black · 20-06-2013 2:50pm

I have two kids, but am willing to trade them for an airplane, a kayak and two motorbikes.

PM if interested - no timewasters.

keith16 · 20-06-2013 2:52pm

Frank Black wrote: »

I have two kids, but am willing to trade them for an airplane, a kayak and two motorbikes.

PM if interested - no timewasters.

I too want an airplane. Stupid kids eating all of earths food.

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 2:52pm

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Oops, sounds like I've touched a nerve:D As I said, I don't care if people choose to have kids or not and it tends to be people who have kids who are the ones who have the condescending attitude towards those of us who don't want any. I have yet to see a happy parent pushing a pram. I don't know what there is to being a parent as I honestly don't give a damn, which is why I don't have any kids Keith.

I don't believe that. I see plenty of happy people with their children. My sister had her first child 6 months ago and I've never seen her happier. My brother has 3 boys and he's in his element when he's with them. Obviously children bring stress and worry, but for most parents, I'm sure, the good parts far outweigh the bad. Personally, it's not something I want, but that's not because I think parents are all unhappy!

Frank Black · 20-06-2013 2:55pm

Steve.N wrote: »

Not having children is definitely the correct decision for us!

When my grandmother was in hospital a number of years ago, there were two old ladies lying in beds across from her. One was always sitting up reading a book while the other always begged me in tears sometimes to take her home as her son & daughter would be there to look after her - Every visit for 6wks I got the same story, it was heart wrenching! A nurse saw this one day and told me that she had three children who were lived quite local to the hospital and in the 5mnths she's been on the ward no-one ever came to visit her. The old lady clung on every day thinking that the next person through the door may be one of her children - She died waiting!

The other old lady it turned out had no children. She knew that her days were numbered, her husband had died a few years ago but she knew that there was no family who were coming to visit as she had none! She accepted her lot and just got on with it!

Who would you rather be? The person knowing that there's no-one coming or the sad old lady who gave birth to three children who have nothing to do with their dying mother and leave her everyday totally heartbroken clinging on that someone was coming to visit her?

Please tell me your procreation decisions were not solely based on the above anecdote.

Pumpkinseeds · 20-06-2013 2:57pm

keith16 wrote: »

hmm...you say you don't care, but then, maybe that's why you haven't seen any happy parents? Presumably you haven't seen any sad ones either? Or maybe you do care?

Usually the ones pushing the prams look miserable to me. For me it's not kids that's the issue, it is this inference that there is something wrong with people who don't want kids. There isn't. If someone is chatting to me about their kids I listen politely. It is extremely annoying and patronising to be asked by a parent if you have kids and to be patronised with a 'Ah sure one day you might change your mind' response when you say that you don't have kids.

As I said if people want kids fine, if they don't fine. Tbh I don't see any great achievement in reproducing

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 3:01pm

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Usually the ones pushing the prams look miserable to me. For me it's not kids that's the issue, it is this inference that there is something wrong with people who don't want kids. There isn't. If someone is chatting to me about their kids I listen politely. It is extremely annoying and patronising to be asked by a parent if you have kids and to be patronised with a 'Ah sure one day you might change your mind' response when you say that you don't have kids.

As I said if people want kids fine, if they don't fine. Tbh I don't see any great achievement in reproducing

I agree (though I am always secretly envious when I see the cute little babies with the cute baby hats etc) :P (baby hats just get me for some reason??)

I can actually HEAR my bio clock ticking when I see one lol. But I agree re the prying. My mum told me they got loads of grief from relatives/friends when after 6 years of marriage they hadn't produced children - guys joking with my Dad asking if he'd "no lead in his pencil" etc. Little did they know my parents were heartbroken following two miscarriages and were desperate for a child.

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 3:03pm

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Usually the ones pushing the prams look miserable to me. For me it's not kids that's the issue, it is this inference that there is something wrong with people who don't want kids. There isn't. If someone is chatting to me about their kids I listen politely. It is extremely annoying and patronising to be asked by a parent if you have kids and to be patronised with a 'Ah sure one day you might change your mind' response when you say that you don't have kids.

As I said if people want kids fine, if they don't fine. Tbh I don't see any great achievement in reproducing

Not all parents are like that, not by any stretch of the imagination. There are always going to be annoying people everywhere in life. If every parent you've ever come across infers that there's something wrong with you for not wanting kids, then maybe you need to find new friends

And yeah there is no achievement in reproducing. I hate when people call childbirth a "miracle". It is the most common thing in the world

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 3:05pm

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I agree (though I am always secretly envious when I see the cute little babies with the cute baby hats etc) :P (baby hats just get me for some reason??) I can actually HEAR my bio clock ticking when I see one lol. But I agree re the prying. My mum told me they got loads of grief from relatives/friends when after 6 years of marriage they hadn't produced children - guys joking with my Dad asking if he'd "no lead in his pencil" etc. Little did they know my parents were heartbroken following two miscarriages and were desperate for a child.

That's why I think it's a disgrace when people ask those sorts of questions. It's incredibly personal to ask anyone when they're going to have babies/why aren't they pregnant yet, etc. No one knows what is going on behind closed doors, and it's a completely private thing. I think older generations are the worst for it.

**Vai** · 20-06-2013 3:07pm

Some posters on here (particularly the younger ones with the ott posts) will change their mind or will be forced to change it after a little accident.
Personally Ive never wanted kids. I have absolutely no interest and never have. I remember arguing with my girlfriend about it when I was 16, ridiculous of course but people always thought I would change my tune with age.

Im almost 31 now and still feel the same. Dogs are the only 'kids' I want. Its for mainly selfish reasons I dont want them but then again, its for mainly selfish reasons that people have them; carry on the bloodline, to take care of u in old age and in some cases as a status symbol or for the benefits.

No problem with people having a kid or even 2 but with the population spiralling out of control we need some kind of a cap before humanity is all thats left on the planet.

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 3:08pm

ibarelycare wrote: »

That's why I think it's a disgrace when people ask those sorts of questions. It's incredibly personal to ask anyone when they're going to have babies/why aren't they pregnant yet, etc. No one knows what is going on behind closed doors, and it's a completely private thing. I think older generations are the worst for it.

Yup, but I suppose they can be forgiven a little when you consider it was practically unheard of years ago for married couples not to have children. My parents were the exception in their families that they waited so long (not by choice). But my Dad always says that even though he loves my brother and I more than anything, he is glad he had those years with just my mum, he thinks it made them stronger as a couple and gave them time just for themselves.

keith16 · 20-06-2013 3:08pm

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Usually the ones pushing the prams look miserable to me.

I think you are only seeing what you want to see.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

It is extremely annoying and patronising to be asked by a parent if you have kids and to be patronised with a 'Ah sure one day you might change your mind' response when you say that you don't have kids.

Oh I fully agree with that. I hate these people who talk about their kids non stop and their FB page is just photos and statuses about the kids non-stop. Get a life FFS.

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

As I said if people want kids fine, if they don't fine. Tbh I don't see any great achievement in reproducing

It isn't, but it's not the the ****ty unrewarding chore you make it out to be either.

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 3:08pm

Lets all meet back here in ten years and see whats happened for us?!

**Vai** · 20-06-2013 3:12pm

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Lets all meet back here in ten years and see whats happened for us?!

Boards will be part of Skynet and Ill be 41. Dunno which is scarier

josip · 20-06-2013 3:31pm

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.

...

Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable
home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fcuked up
brats you spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life.

@John Hodge

(The contents of this post do not reflect the views of the poster)

experiMental · 20-06-2013 3:41pm

VivaMessi wrote: »

I'm 25 with my partner and the thoughts of having children makes me literally sick. Looking after them non stop till their 11 or 12. Then leeching money off you till they finish college or longer. Anyone else feel like this because I don't know what I'm gonna say to my partner when she wants to start trying. I never want children

Give it a couple of years and you may change your mind.

Ciderswigger · 20-06-2013 3:44pm

A lot of people are saying that thy don't want children because they are a drain and hard work and while that is true (at times) there is obviously all the other amazing moments that come with having a child.

I didn't decide to not have children because of my social/financial life, I just don't want children! I have nieces and nephews, I trained in childcare and had hoped to open a Montessori school years ago but that plan went out the window (for reasons not to do with anything we're discussing here) so I do love children. In fact I was gutted that I wasn't asked to be Godmother for my best friends child last March.

I think it is difficult for people who do have children/definitely want children to understand my feelings on this because they are so excited and happy to be bringing new life into the world.

One poster kept insisting that the right man will change my mind and I as I can't predict the future I obviously cannot say that I won't have a child in 10 years time but in a perfect world I would like to meet someone who shares the same view as me so that neither of us have to change our stance.

TL/DR I don't want children. Not because I'm selfish or think they are a smelly drain on my life, but just because.

Oh and I hope the OP manages to discuss his feelings with his fiance and they can perhaps slow thing down and think things through a bit more.

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 3:44pm

experiMental wrote: »

Give it a couple of years and you may change your mind.

That's a big risk to take. What if he doesn't?

Malari · 20-06-2013 3:57pm

Ciderswigger wrote: »

TL/DR I don't want children. Not because I'm selfish or think they are a smelly drain on my life, but just because.

This is my feeling too. When people ask me why I don't want kids they may as well be asking me why I don't want to adopt a baby giraffe. I'm completely indifferent to it!

It's shocking how you can get to the stage of marrying a person without having discussed this, but I can think of two couples I know well who have opposite views on this, without having been upfront with each other, and I hope it doesn't end in disaster for them

20-06-2013 3:58pm

ibarelycare wrote: »

That's a big risk to take. What if he doesn't?

And it's not even his risk, it's his partners. She might not want to risk two years of her life on the off chance he changes his mind.

I'm generally of the opinion that two people who aren't aware of whether or not their partner wants children are two people that shouldn't be even talking about marriage yet, never mind a few months from it.

Ciderswigger · 20-06-2013 4:01pm

Malari wrote: »

When people ask me why I don't want kids they may as well be asking me why I don't want to adopt a baby giraffe. I'm completely indifferent to it!

:):D LOL

Giraffe is my favourite animal...

Malari · 20-06-2013 4:10pm

Ciderswigger wrote: »

:):D LOL

Giraffe is my favourite animal...

Yes, most other baby animals are adorable to me, apart from human ones, for some reason! I'm clearly faulty! :pac:

wolfpawnat · 20-06-2013 4:15pm

Some people want kids, others don't. They may change their mind, they may not. Perhaps it is biology's way of attempted to stunt overpopulation. The only thing that matters is telling the significant other, that way you both know where you stand.

af_thefragile · 20-06-2013 4:17pm

I think it'll be cool to have kids. You could sorta relive all your childhood fantasies with your kids and you have a family to spend you life with rather than spending it locked in a dark room playing video games....

Erper · 20-06-2013 4:19pm

Tesco Frog Muffin wrote: »

What's that? Do I want to take care of a screeching little brat, dispose of his ****, dish out OUTRAGEOUS amounts of money for up to 20+ years and get nothing back in return?

.....I'd rather commit suicide my self-disembowelment.

Condoms were invented for a reason, folks.

no comment

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 4:20pm

Erper wrote: »

no comment

If you've no comment then just don't bother hitting "Reply"

Erper · 20-06-2013 4:21pm

ibarelycare wrote: »

If you've no comment then just don't bother hitting "Reply"

I meant based on that post... lol

**Vai** · 20-06-2013 4:28pm

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

A child being born in Ireland is not a drain on Irish society.

That would depend on the family it is born into. Very small picture thinking to localise a global issue.

**Vai** · 20-06-2013 4:31pm

af_thefragile wrote: »

I think it'll be cool to have kids. You could sorta relive all your childhood fantasies with your kids and you have a family to spend you life with rather than spending it locked in a dark room playing video games....

Thats a huge generalisation isnt it? Not all people or couples who have no interest in kids sit on their holes playing video games.
Now, off to finish the last of us.

T-Maxx · 20-06-2013 4:35pm

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

But life moves on, when I was in my 20's I also couldn't imagine the thought of having kids, and as you mature your perception of a lot of things in life changes.

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 4:35pm

ibarelycare wrote: »

If you've no comment then just don't bother hitting "Reply"

haha I was just thinking that.

When I was an intensely up my own hole teen I used to love saying, "I'm not going to dignify that with a response" ...and years later I realised well...that was a response

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 4:37pm

T-Maxx wrote: »

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

But life moves on, when I was in my 20's I also couldn't imagine the thought of having kids, and as you mature your perception of a lot of things in life changes.

I'm 29. I'm terrified I wont have kids. Tick tock!! I'd love one now but want to finish college first and get myself sorted

I think it would be irresponsible to have one now?

**Vai** · 20-06-2013 4:40pm

T-Maxx wrote: »

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

But life moves on, when I was in my 20's I also couldn't imagine the thought of having kids, and as you mature your perception of a lot of things in life changes.

Pity? How condescending.

Kids and maturity are not mutually exclusive. I think that is pretty evident.

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 4:40pm

Erper wrote: »

I meant based on that post... lol

You've said a few times that you're bowing out of this conversation, and you've ignored the people who have replied to you asking you to clarify some of your statements. So why bother picking out a post that wasn't even replying to you, just to tell them that you've no comment?

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 4:42pm

T-Maxx wrote: »

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

Why on earth would you pity someone who has come to a conclusion and made a decision that they are happy with?

wolfpawnat · 20-06-2013 4:46pm

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I'm 29. I'm terrified I wont have kids. Tick tock!! I'd love one now but want to finish college first and get myself sorted I think it would be irresponsible to have one now?

My partner is 29 and in college, we are due no2 in 5 weeks. You wouldn't believe the stress he is under. He has no holidays this year, so he won't even be able to help over the summer with them. Exams and crying babies are not a good combo!!!

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 4:47pm

wolfpawnat wrote: »

My partner is 29 and in college, we are due no2 in 5 weeks. You wouldn't believe the stress he is under. He has no holidays this year, so he won't even be able to help over the summer with them. Exams and crying babies are not a good combo!!!

Sounds mad! But congrats!

wolfpawnat · 20-06-2013 4:52pm

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Sounds mad! But congrats!

Haha, I think I turned the poor man grey!

It's not ideal but it happened so we can only get on with it. But 29 is still young, if you want them then use this time to have the craic, that way when they come, you will have done a lot of what you wanted. It's a lot harder to go away for a while if you have to worry about kids.

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 4:55pm

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Haha, I think I turned the poor man grey! It's not ideal but it happened so we can only get on with it. But 29 is still young, if you want them then use this time to have the craic, that way when they come, you will have done a lot of what you wanted. It's a lot harder to go away for a while if you have to worry about kids.

True, your life is never really your own again (not saying its not worth it or anything) but whats the max age? I mean, I know there is no arbitrary line but I'm starting to get a bit worried. I'd set myself a personal cut off of 35 I suppose

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 4:57pm

...so thats like, six years drinking left yay!!

But its weird, I can't pass a baby without feeling like I want one of my own.

wolfpawnat · 20-06-2013 5:06pm

OldNotWIse wrote: »

True, your life is never really your own again (not saying its not worth it or anything) but whats the max age? I mean, I know there is no arbitrary line but I'm starting to get a bit worried. I'd set myself a personal cut off of 35 I suppose

Women would want to be careful of anything after the age of 37, some defects increase in probability after this age. Men are able to reproduce for far longer, but then again, if you want to be able to run around after them, you may want to be in your mid-30's to mid 40's. My partner's dad was nearly 60 when he was born. He could play with him, but not as he would have liked. My two are wrestling, racing, playing soccer and GAA, boxing, etc the whole time and the older you get, the harder that gets. So yeah, 35 is a fairly reasonable age. It would an average enough father's age IMO. (Sorry, I am assuming you're a man)

OldNotWIse wrote: »

...so thats like, six years drinking left yay!! But its weird, I can't pass a baby without feeling like I want one of my own.

Hey I said life changes, not that you become a recluse. Himself still has the few GAA and soccer games and pints with the lads! Your feelings of wanting some of your own is as natural as other peoples feelings when they see one they are nearly repulsed!

Anyone else not want children?

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