Anyone else not want children?

Malari · 20-06-2013 03:10PM

Ciderswigger wrote: »

:):D LOL

Giraffe is my favourite animal...

Yes, most other baby animals are adorable to me, apart from human ones, for some reason! I'm clearly faulty! :pac:

wolfpawnat · 20-06-2013 03:15PM

Some people want kids, others don't. They may change their mind, they may not. Perhaps it is biology's way of attempted to stunt overpopulation. The only thing that matters is telling the significant other, that way you both know where you stand.

af_thefragile · 20-06-2013 03:17PM

I think it'll be cool to have kids. You could sorta relive all your childhood fantasies with your kids and you have a family to spend you life with rather than spending it locked in a dark room playing video games....

Erper · 20-06-2013 03:19PM

Tesco Frog Muffin wrote: »

What's that? Do I want to take care of a screeching little brat, dispose of his ****, dish out OUTRAGEOUS amounts of money for up to 20+ years and get nothing back in return?

.....I'd rather commit suicide my self-disembowelment.

Condoms were invented for a reason, folks.

no comment

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 03:20PM

Erper wrote: »

no comment

If you've no comment then just don't bother hitting "Reply"

Erper · 20-06-2013 03:21PM

ibarelycare wrote: »

If you've no comment then just don't bother hitting "Reply"

I meant based on that post... lol

**Vai** · 20-06-2013 03:28PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

A child being born in Ireland is not a drain on Irish society.

That would depend on the family it is born into. Very small picture thinking to localise a global issue.

**Vai** · 20-06-2013 03:31PM

af_thefragile wrote: »

I think it'll be cool to have kids. You could sorta relive all your childhood fantasies with your kids and you have a family to spend you life with rather than spending it locked in a dark room playing video games....

Thats a huge generalisation isnt it? Not all people or couples who have no interest in kids sit on their holes playing video games.
Now, off to finish the last of us.

T-Maxx · 20-06-2013 03:35PM

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

But life moves on, when I was in my 20's I also couldn't imagine the thought of having kids, and as you mature your perception of a lot of things in life changes.

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 03:35PM

ibarelycare wrote: »

If you've no comment then just don't bother hitting "Reply"

haha I was just thinking that.

When I was an intensely up my own hole teen I used to love saying, "I'm not going to dignify that with a response" ...and years later I realised well...that was a response

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 03:37PM

T-Maxx wrote: »

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

But life moves on, when I was in my 20's I also couldn't imagine the thought of having kids, and as you mature your perception of a lot of things in life changes.

I'm 29. I'm terrified I wont have kids. Tick tock!! I'd love one now but want to finish college first and get myself sorted

I think it would be irresponsible to have one now?

**Vai** · 20-06-2013 03:40PM

T-Maxx wrote: »

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

But life moves on, when I was in my 20's I also couldn't imagine the thought of having kids, and as you mature your perception of a lot of things in life changes.

Pity? How condescending.

Kids and maturity are not mutually exclusive. I think that is pretty evident.

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 03:40PM

Erper wrote: »

I meant based on that post... lol

You've said a few times that you're bowing out of this conversation, and you've ignored the people who have replied to you asking you to clarify some of your statements. So why bother picking out a post that wasn't even replying to you, just to tell them that you've no comment?

ibarelycare · 20-06-2013 03:42PM

T-Maxx wrote: »

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

Why on earth would you pity someone who has come to a conclusion and made a decision that they are happy with?

wolfpawnat · 20-06-2013 03:46PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I'm 29. I'm terrified I wont have kids. Tick tock!! I'd love one now but want to finish college first and get myself sorted I think it would be irresponsible to have one now?

My partner is 29 and in college, we are due no2 in 5 weeks. You wouldn't believe the stress he is under. He has no holidays this year, so he won't even be able to help over the summer with them. Exams and crying babies are not a good combo!!!

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 03:47PM

wolfpawnat wrote: »

My partner is 29 and in college, we are due no2 in 5 weeks. You wouldn't believe the stress he is under. He has no holidays this year, so he won't even be able to help over the summer with them. Exams and crying babies are not a good combo!!!

Sounds mad! But congrats!

wolfpawnat · 20-06-2013 03:52PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Sounds mad! But congrats!

Haha, I think I turned the poor man grey!

It's not ideal but it happened so we can only get on with it. But 29 is still young, if you want them then use this time to have the craic, that way when they come, you will have done a lot of what you wanted. It's a lot harder to go away for a while if you have to worry about kids.

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 03:55PM

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Haha, I think I turned the poor man grey! It's not ideal but it happened so we can only get on with it. But 29 is still young, if you want them then use this time to have the craic, that way when they come, you will have done a lot of what you wanted. It's a lot harder to go away for a while if you have to worry about kids.

True, your life is never really your own again (not saying its not worth it or anything) but whats the max age? I mean, I know there is no arbitrary line but I'm starting to get a bit worried. I'd set myself a personal cut off of 35 I suppose

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 03:57PM

...so thats like, six years drinking left yay!!

But its weird, I can't pass a baby without feeling like I want one of my own.

wolfpawnat · 20-06-2013 04:06PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

True, your life is never really your own again (not saying its not worth it or anything) but whats the max age? I mean, I know there is no arbitrary line but I'm starting to get a bit worried. I'd set myself a personal cut off of 35 I suppose

Women would want to be careful of anything after the age of 37, some defects increase in probability after this age. Men are able to reproduce for far longer, but then again, if you want to be able to run around after them, you may want to be in your mid-30's to mid 40's. My partner's dad was nearly 60 when he was born. He could play with him, but not as he would have liked. My two are wrestling, racing, playing soccer and GAA, boxing, etc the whole time and the older you get, the harder that gets. So yeah, 35 is a fairly reasonable age. It would an average enough father's age IMO. (Sorry, I am assuming you're a man)

OldNotWIse wrote: »

...so thats like, six years drinking left yay!! But its weird, I can't pass a baby without feeling like I want one of my own.

Hey I said life changes, not that you become a recluse. Himself still has the few GAA and soccer games and pints with the lads! Your feelings of wanting some of your own is as natural as other peoples feelings when they see one they are nearly repulsed!

OldNotWIse · 20-06-2013 04:16PM

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Women would want to be careful of anything after the age of 37, some defects increase in probability after this age. Men are able to reproduce for far longer, but then again, if you want to be able to run around after them, you may want to be in your mid-30's to mid 40's. My partner's dad was nearly 60 when he was born. He could play with him, but not as he would have liked. My two are wrestling, racing, playing soccer and GAA, boxing, etc the whole time and the older you get, the harder that gets. So yeah, 35 is a fairly reasonable age. It would an average enough father's age IMO. (Sorry, I am assuming you're a man)

Hey I said life changes, not that you become a recluse. Himself still has the few GAA and soccer games and pints with the lads! Your feelings of wanting some of your own is as natural as other peoples feelings when they see one they are nearly repulsed!

Oh jeeeeez I'm already at the stage where I make noises when I bend over to pick something up lol

No, I'm a woman. I'm also in a same sex partnership which makes things more difficult (duh) but I guess we could go the donor route, though I would like my child to know their biological father.

Good to know you still let yours out to play (the dad not the kids lol)

PucaMama · 20-06-2013 04:25PM

what has happend in ireland....people too young at 25 to marry their partner....seriously your 25 not 15. show your partner some respect and tell her the truth. maybe she still thinks shes with a person as mature as she is.

old hippy · 20-06-2013 05:03PM

T-Maxx wrote: »

Well, I kind of feel sorry for those who don't want kids.

But life moves on, when I was in my 20's I also couldn't imagine the thought of having kids, and as you mature your perception of a lot of things in life changes.

It's not about maturity, it's rather that people feel comfortable just being single or in a relationship that doesn't involve having kids. We enjoy our freedom, thanks very much

snubbleste · 20-06-2013 05:06PM

We need to produce more economic units to fund our pensions. More effort require people!

Ruu · 20-06-2013 05:07PM

No kids here. Married 9 years. I am too greedy with my time and money, it wouldn't be fair and I don't want the responsibility. I love the ability to go wherever I want, whenever I want.

Killer Wench · 20-06-2013 05:09PM

LizT wrote: »

That attitude annoys me, it's so condescending. A person can decide in their 20s that they don't want kids and never change their mind.

I have a friend in her early 30s who decided when she was a teenager that she never wanted to be a mother. She says that she just never acquired a motherly instinct and abhors children. In her 20s, she asked a doctor for a hysterectomy and was declined. She initially thought it was related to insurance so she said that she would pay out of pocket for the procedure. The doctor then told her that he thought she was far too young to rule out having children. He refused to perform the surgery. After several doctors, she was told that no doctor would perform such a surgery on a woman who is under the age of 35. The last time we spoke about her quest for a hysterectomy, that was several years ago. She may close enough to that age for a doctor to perform the procedure.

Paddy Cow · 20-06-2013 05:12PM

Killer Wench wrote: »

I have a friend in her early 30s who decided when she was a teenager that she never wanted to be a mother. She says that she just never acquired a motherly instinct and abhors children. In her 20s, she asked a doctor for a hysterectomy and was declined. She initially thought it was related to insurance so she said that she would pay out of pocket for the procedure. The doctor then told her that he thought she was far too young to rule out having children. He refused to perform the surgery. After several doctors, she was told that no doctor would perform such a surgery on a woman who is under the age of 35. The last time we spoke about her quest for a hysterectomy, that was several years ago. She may close enough to that age for a doctor to perform the procedure.

I maybe wrong but doesn't having a hysterectomy also bring on menopause? As much as I hate my dirty week of shame, I am dreading the menopause and will happily put that off as long as possible.

20-06-2013 05:29PM

Killer Wench wrote: »

I have a friend in her early 30s who decided when she was a teenager that she never wanted to be a mother. She says that she just never acquired a motherly instinct and abhors children. In her 20s, she asked a doctor for a hysterectomy and was declined. She initially thought it was related to insurance so she said that she would pay out of pocket for the procedure. The doctor then told her that he thought she was far too young to rule out having children. He refused to perform the surgery. After several doctors, she was told that no doctor would perform such a surgery on a woman who is under the age of 35. The last time we spoke about her quest for a hysterectomy, that was several years ago. She may close enough to that age for a doctor to perform the procedure.

Why on earth would anyone put themselves through a hysterectomy when a tubal ligation is all that's needed to render her voluntarily infertile? It's a huge operation that has major recovery time, and causes menopause and premature ageing or hormone replacement is needed to prevent it. Getting her tubes tied is a one day job with a day or so downtime.

It's like shooting yourself in the head to cure a headache.

foxy06 · 20-06-2013 05:34PM

I really don't want kids either. Anyone that does can collect them from my house :-D

lennyloulou · 20-06-2013 06:15PM

I am enjoying this discussion so much.. I posted lastnight my opinion to OP and I do hope it all works out for him.
Anyhow me& hubbie both 33yr, married 2yr- no desire to have kids. I wish all my friends well with theirs but like so many of you posted- it is a personal decision whether to have them or not. We both like our time and hols together and I never have had or currently desire kids. I do not feel selfish- why should I ? We are not going to have them just to satisfy other people and then be unable to provide properly for their needs due to money etc. I was voted among college pals the most likely to have kids before 25yrs. I am now the last in my group and am perfectly happy. As I have said already, I believe too many people have kids to fullfil a gap/crack in what has become a boring relationship with hubbie/wife etc. I know one of my friends has had 4 kids- blindly hoping each kid would bring them closer together, that he would come home from the pub earlier. She told me this recently and no it is not working.
Also my bro in law asked me recently why we hadn't kids already and were we trying... the cheek.... it is almost asking me how often times a week do you have sex??? It is no ones business if or when a person chooses to have a child!

Anyone else not want children?

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