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  • 19-12-2012 10:29am
    #1
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭


    This is a thread that I have been asked to start on the Farming and Forestry forum as it is something which seems to affect rural dwellers more than anyone. Suicide rates among Farmers are pretty high.

    This is a thread which will offer people some information and resources to help with depression.

    Please feel free to add sensible stuff to the thread. Depression is a pretty taboo subject, but at the end of the day, the only way to beat it is to talk about it.

    Here are some links and resources:

    Samaritans 116123

    Aware

    Mental Health Ireland

    Pieta House have now taken over the services that were previously provided by Console.
    Here are the links: http://www.pieta.ie/blog/
    https://www.facebook.com/pietahouse/?fref=nf

    Just a note for anyone who feels depressed, it might seem dark now but there is help.
    Please read the stickys here and here if you haven't already or speak to a medical professional.



    The mod team have decided to move this thread to the Safety and Off-Season forum as anonymous posting is enabled here. We want to make it as easy as possible for anybody who needs to post to be able to post.

    To find out how to use anonymous posting, please click here.


«134567…14

Comments

  • #2
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    Not completly Nationwide but a group I'm involved in supporting..

    http://www.sosadireland.ie/

    Drogheda, Navan, Cavan & Dundalk.


  • #3
    pakalasa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,552 ✭✭✭pakalasa


    Someone mentioned to me recently, how everyone in Ireland should be talking Vitamin D during the winter. Lack of sunshine can really get you down. Ever notice that after a sunny day in Ireland, you can feel a lot better. Seven Seas, with added Vit D - try them.

    http://news.menshealth.com/vitamin-d-depression/2012/07/11/


  • #4
    micl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭micl


    I know some of us feel caught... trapped.

    We are told time and again to run our farms like businesses, but with 1 difference - we are never allowed sell.

    We have seen the shame and genrations of tutt-tutting when "family ground" has been sold in the past, so even if we get the burdens of the land and have clear title, we don't ever feel like we own it. Ever.

    That is heavy for me.

    If we really ran our farms like businesses, we would be truly free to sell - and I mean to the highest bidder - as suits the business. No-one in a farming family should have a right to comment on anyone else in the family selling his or her own ground.

    If you don't own it, you don't own it - leave us alone.


  • #5
    Muckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,174 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    Hi Reilig

    I think this is an excellent idea. God some of the stories that we have all seen on F&F this year especially have been pretty heavy to say the least. One could easily see how people could start to really feel the stress.

    Reilig you are right in saying that it can be a totally taboo subject, so might I be so bold as to suggest that this tread remain in this spot and not be relegated to the important thread slot where it may go unobserved? At least give it a longer run than two weeks to see the demand/need for same.

    Kind Regards

    Muckit


  • #6
    WexTK
    Closed Accounts Posts: 153 ✭✭WexTK


    There is definitely something in the concept of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) at this time of year and going into late spring. As someone that has lost someone to suicide at this time of the year and suffers himself from time to time, I would urge all no matter what the age to DO SOMETHING to combat the mental rot that can set in. Visiting a GP about depression is nothing to be ashamed of - it IS an illness and a vicious one at that.

    People of all ages be they 52 or 21 are vulnerable. As a farmer myself, there can be a sense that we are called upon to be machines or robots 24/7 on the farm... well we are not. We are fragile like everyone else. The that there is so much emotional baggage surrounding "the family farm" means that farmers can take setbacks very personally.

    My brother was 21 when he took his life, he didn't talk. We need to talk!


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  • #7
    JohnBoy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭JohnBoy


    I think even if demand is low there's merit in keeping it, I'd expect a lot more readers than writers here


  • #8
    Muckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,174 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    WexTK wrote: »

    My brother was 21 when he took his life, he didn't talk. We need to talk!

    Thanks for sharing your story WexTK.

    I lost a brother myself to suicide some years ago. There was only two years between us so we were very close, as you can imagine. He was 3 months shy of his 21'st birthday when he died. I still remember with fondness the times we spent working the family farm together. Graping out pit silage into a barrow and wheeling along a makeshift path made from sheets of rusty galvanize before forking again into half ring feeders - this of course when pits were made in the corner of the field. In sunnier times, the two of us building loads of square baled hay as our father forked them up to us.

    There was a really awful wet summer towards the end of the nineties (I can't remember the exact year offhand), every bit as bad as this summer gone, to my mind. We just got the silage baled, but it was a nightmare to get them out of the field. That time we only had the dinky Massey 135, so had to take shifts driving it to bring them all in one by one. The path we made across the fields to the meadow fields were so badly rutted that it was like driving a train on tracks - you didn't have to steer! Half way through my brother came through a gap, the check chains were loose and the bale swung suddenly to one side snapping the lift arm. We got a local fellow to weld it back and testimony to his welding, to this day it has never broke. Every time I see it now, I think of my late brother. Our bond too will never be broken.


  • #9
    yellow50HX
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,828 ✭✭✭yellow50HX


    its probably one of the most taboo subject in the country which is why its one of the biggest killers (far worse then road deaths). As someone from cork i know of too many people that have taken their lifes, the cork and kerry area has a very high percentage. Lots of theory's why but i put a lot of it down to our attitude to mental health issues.

    How often do you hear people talking about how "selfish" people who commit suicide are? This is not a very helpful attitude and really annoys me as most of the time these are the same people that say "if only they had talked to me about". If someone with depression is hearing that kind of talk then its no wonder they dont feel there is anyone you will listen to them.

    Irish people are great if you have a problem, how often do you see family and friends rallying around when they hear that someone is sick, or had to go in to hospital, or has money problems. I would say that most people would bend over backwards to help out a friend or family member who told them they had cancer, but how many would be as supportive if they told them they were depressed.

    If we can change our attitude to mental health then i can see a lot less tragedy in this country. It wont stop depression but it'll certainly lessen its effects.


  • #10
    Manoffeeling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 931 ✭✭✭Manoffeeling


    There is a history of depression in my family. This last two years have been fairly tough on me with the legal wrangle with my family over the farm. I talk to my gp on a regular basis about my mental health. I have the wife told that if I get sick, get me in somewhere if need be. But the worst of the stress and worry is behind me.

    I don't mean to oversimplify life or mental health, but every night, I try to watch comedy of some kind. It might seem stupid, but laughter is an excellent tonic.

    On the issue of the family farm and what the neighbours think, tell them to mind their own business and phuckk off. Who are they to lecture or advise. Be loyal to yourself first.


  • #11
    blue5000
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭blue5000


    I know people with depression who have said they'd sooner have cancer than have depression. They'd get more understanding/sympathy. Thanks for starting this Reilig.

    If the seat's wet, sit on yer hat, a cool head is better than a wet ar5e.



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  • #12
    Bizzum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,034 ✭✭✭Bizzum


    Hard to credit in the first page of this thread we have seen the loss of two young men, 21 years of age. My post makes it No.3, though not through suicide, but again my brother at 21. It's a terrible thing to lose a younger brother. For a lot of years I couldn't even think about the loss, but with time I suppose you get to to be able to deal with it better. It's even hard to write this down now.


  • #13
    just do it
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,422 ✭✭✭just do it


    Agree with others here who feel it should stay as a sticky. Farming can be lonely. Someone with depression often won't go searching for a thread on it. Whereas they may just be on here and see it. We'll never know if it's enough to get someone to take action or pull them back from the brink. But it may and that for me makes it worthy of being a sticky.


  • #14
    DMAXMAN
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 328 ✭✭DMAXMAN


    I thank god i never had first hand experience of suicide but just reading some of the posts above makes me realise how lucky i am.have an uncle who suffers a little from "nerves" as they say and thinking back maybe suffer a slight touch myself when under pressure and often find that i dont want to talk to family about as i am the MAN and we dont suffer from those things. if this thread even helps one person i would rate it higher than the rest of the forum and i value the posters and threads very highly!!


  • #15
    jimmy G M
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,150 ✭✭✭jimmy G M


    Fair play to WexTK, Muckit & Bizzum for their stories. I lost my sister to illness a few years ago. I am so proud of her and we all still love to talk about her.

    It definitely good to talk about the loss of our loved ones, helps ease the pain I feel, ever a few lines on here are good. It's the same with any serious worries bothering you.

    So I am just adding my tuppence ha'penny worth to this worthy thread. Don't keep worries pent up inside.


  • #16
    whelan1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,786 ✭✭✭✭whelan1


    great thread, think we need to be very open with our kids about suicide , that there is no way back.... if they have a problem they should be open about it and let their parents or someone know... eldest lad is at counselling at the minute , he is 11.... times have changed from when we where young we need to move with the times for their sake


  • #17
    1chippy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,716 ✭✭✭1chippy


    Great thread. like someone else said talking is great. Im lucky enough that i dont suffer depression but the few times this year that i got pissed off with farming it was great that i could share it with people on boards, it was great relief to see how people who wouldnt even know you (and you couple of locals) would try and help. good stuff.


  • #18
    bob charles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,343 ✭✭✭bob charles


    we are lucky here on my own farm in one since, as we dont have the time to stop and think about things that can get us down. Im all for a busy mind sorts out allot of problems. Most people only need a good kick in the rear end to get them going again but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.


  • #19
    mf240
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,876 ✭✭✭mf240


    bob charles wrote: »
    we are lucky here on my own farm in one since, as we dont have the time to stop and think about things that can get us down. Im all for a busy mind sorts out allot of problems. Most people only need a good kick in the rear end to get them going again but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.

    With respect bob it's that attitude that prevents people seeking help

    People who take their own lives are often too considerate of others and don't want to be a burden ect.

    Not everybody is lucky enough to be able to take set backs in their stride.


  • #20
    blue5000
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭blue5000


    bob charles wrote: »
    we are lucky here on my own farm in one since, as we dont have the time to stop and think about things that can get us down. Im all for a busy mind sorts out allot of problems. Most people only need a good kick in the rear end to get them going again but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.

    Very helpful bob, It's exactly this sort of attitude that people don't need.

    If the seat's wet, sit on yer hat, a cool head is better than a wet ar5e.



  • #21
    jomoloney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 859 ✭✭✭jomoloney


    could the mods please keep this thread in hand, this thread is of too sensitive nature to allow unqualified advise


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  • #22
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    In fairness I don't think bob nor the countless other who make "insensitive" comments mean any harm.
    Actually in this context bob has brought to the fore some of the main issues.

    1. Depression doesn't happen because people don't keep their minds busy, often a depressed or troubled mind is pure chaos with every aspect of the day and a persons life being replayed, analysed rewound, dissected and self critequed, all this while they struggle to keep some semblance of normality to the outside world. The mental strain of this is unfathomable and can lead to a distorted interpretation of life, which in turn makes things worse..

    2. They don't get better by being told to get on with it, don't think about it, it could be worse - you could be ill, get a hobby, if you were busy you'd feel better.

    The best words a troubled mind can hear are "how are you feeling", "let's have a chat", followed by actually listening, make time to let them talk at their own pace, let them know you'll make time to chat no matter how busy you seem.
    The knowledge that you are willing to make time to listen can be a great strength to someone in trouble. And don't feel the need to offer a solution, listening and trying to understand is often enough.


  • #23
    Muckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,174 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    In fairness to Bob, I don't think he meant any harm by what he said. I do think there are some people that are feeling down that tend to get immersed in a balloon of their own self pity. Sometimes what these people would benefit from is the proverbial 'kick up the behind' to get them going again. They may thinkthey are depressed, but this may not be the case. We all as humans feel down from time to time. But it's transient in nature and we're soon back to ourselves again. It's important to remember that this is normal. It's not (Thank God) clinical depression.


    A person having a low mood or feeling down or 'pissed off' is millions of miles away from a person that is clinically depressed. I think that's the real message we need to get out there.

    It's very hard for a person (myself included) to know what clinical depression is like without having gone through it. Most of us haven't, so it's hard to get our heads around it. We must have tolerance and allow for this.

    It's not normal for a healthy human being to willingly want to take their own life. Obviously these people are mentally unwell. If you were seriously unwell where would you go? Your GP should be your first port of call.


  • #24
    freedominacup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,920 ✭✭✭freedominacup


    bob charles wrote: »
    we are lucky here on my own farm in one since, as we dont have the time to stop and think about things that can get us down. Im all for a busy mind sorts out allot of problems. Most people only need a good kick in the rear end to get them going again but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.

    In fairness to Bob read the entire post.


  • #25
    Manoffeeling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 931 ✭✭✭Manoffeeling


    bob charles wrote: »
    we are lucky here on my own farm in one since, as we dont have the time to stop and think about things that can get us down. Im all for a busy mind sorts out allot of problems. Most people only need a good kick in the rear end to get them going again but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.

    That's a rather simplistic approach also. A busy mind does not always sort out a lot of problems. Have you never heard of mental exhaustion?


  • #26
    royalmeath
    Registered Users Posts: 165 ✭✭royalmeath


    Depression is awful if anyone is going through it they may not recognise that they are suffering a mental illness,
    indeed they may believe they are in some way physically sick . Over the past few years I have learned to be a bit more
    open about my worries and talk. Its great to share a problem rather than internalise it and leaving it fester.If you dont
    have someone you feel you can talk to then go and see a counsellor and let everything out. My own brother dropped
    dead this time last year and i went to see someone to talk about it, I have to say it was a fantastic experience and very
    therapeutic.


  • #27
    bob charles
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,343 ✭✭✭bob charles


    mf240 wrote: »
    With respect bob it's that attitude that prevents people seeking help

    People who take their own lives are often too considerate of others and don't want to be a burden ect.

    Not everybody is lucky enough to be able to take set backs in their stride.

    what are you on about. If you read my post the most important point was in the last line
    bob charles wrote: »
    kick in the rear end to get them going again, but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.


  • #28
    Dairynewbie
    Registered Users Posts: 39 ✭Dairynewbie


    micl wrote: »
    I know some of us feel caught... trapped.

    We are told time and again to run our farms like businesses, but with 1 difference - we are never allowed sell.

    We have seen the shame and genrations of tutt-tutting when "family ground" has been sold in the past, so even if we get the burdens of the land and have clear title, we don't ever feel like we own it. Ever.

    That is heavy for me.

    If we really ran our farms like businesses, we would be truly free to sell - and I mean to the highest bidder - as suits the business. No-one in a farming family should have a right to comment on anyone else in the family selling his or her own ground.

    If you don't own it, you don't own it - leave us alone.

    I know a lad farming 59acres near a village who was offered a tidy sum for all his land back in 06. He asked me for my advice I told him to sell and buy a bigger place. We looked at farms between 100 and 140acres He put it to his parents and his old lad went off his game.
    I got verbally attacked outside mass for putting ideas in his head. Farm is in his family 3 generations His old fellow would prefer him to struggle with a few sheep part time than have a full time job in farming. He is a qualified chippy. He had to move to the uk for work with his wife and a child. His old lad still won't even talk to me. Thinks one of my cronies was trying to con his son out of the farm. The land is now let since last sept. So go figure?
    He said that when his old lad is in the ground he is selling the lot. He has regretted it big time. There is a lot of friction still. His old lad will only see his grandson 3 times a year now. Such a mess.


  • #29
    munkus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 531 ✭✭✭munkus


    bob charles wrote: »
    we are lucky here on my own farm in one since, as we dont have the time to stop and think about things that can get us down. Im all for a busy mind sorts out allot of problems. Most people only need a good kick in the rear end to get them going again but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.

    Holy ****, I respect your contributions on most topics, but how could an intelligent man such as yourself trivialize such a topic. Kick up the hole doesn't always work.


  • #30
    wesleysniper38
    Registered Users Posts: 423 ✭✭wesleysniper38


    It is so difficult to categorise of compartmentalise the sad scourge which is depression. It can take several forms and be triggered by any number of varying circumstances or events in a persons life.
    But it is a dark place which quite often is suffered unawares by the person concerned. Therefore the syntoms become difficult to detect for those close to that person also.
    When it takes hold the consequences can be tragic if it is combined with another scourge of Irish, and mostly rural, society-
    Lonliness. An old friend of mine once told me.. you could be in a crowded room among the people who care for you most and yet feel like the only one there..


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  • #31
    kerryjack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,579 ✭✭✭kerryjack


    bob charles wrote: »
    we are lucky here on my own farm in one since, as we dont have the time to stop and think about things that can get us down. Im all for a busy mind sorts out allot of problems. Most people only need a good kick in the rear end to get them going again but that is not everyone and its these people we have to watch out for.

    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.


  • #32
    wesleysniper38
    Registered Users Posts: 423 ✭✭wesleysniper38


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.

    Hey man, I dont know whether you were serious there but you've just given me a mighty laugh! :p


  • #33
    Manoffeeling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 931 ✭✭✭Manoffeeling


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.

    Define manly things? What moisturiser do you use? :D


  • #34
    Mac Taylor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭Mac Taylor


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.
    I am not sure which cave you came out but you should probably should go back in again. I genuinely hope you shared your views just to be devils advocate, but this subject is too serious for this kind of messing.


  • #35
    grazeaway
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭grazeaway


    kerryjack wrote: »
    That is a very bold , politically incorrect statement but i have to agree with it , There is a lot of lads going around with no jobs and very little purpose in life. If every man had a job and got reasonably well paid for it we would be much happier, in a lot of houses now its the man that's stay at home and herself out working, that cant be right, man was not programmed to be changing nappies and dropping kids to school , thousands of years of evolution and it has come down to this, in an other thousand years a man will have grown Tits and will be the weaker sex and they will be looking back in history and wondering where it all went wrong , it all started when a man started changing nappies , am i a sexist, yes i am , O K guys lets get back doing manly things like pub every evening and eating the dinner out of the bin when we get home the next generation will thank us for it.

    Not sure if this is tounge in cheek, but this kinda talk and that of bobs previosly is one of the main reasons for the high level of sucide in this country in my humble opinion. I'm sure neither of the lads above would be the type to make light of a death in the family, and i'm sure would try their best to help out if they could but their attidue does show a level of igronace and mis-understanding that goes right to the heart of the problem.

    All the excuses above can be agrued as valid points but someone with depression is actually ill not just feeling a little under the weather. comparing the problems of scoity and saying "sure what have you got to be dressed about!" is not a all helpful.

    If i was a friend or family member of bob or jack and i was depressed and was thinking about ending it all the last people i would go to for help would be them. If they were my closest confidant and person i trusted then who else could i talk to??? Think about that for a while lads and imigane if someone close to you asked you for help and you ridiculed them and then took their own life???

    Heavy stuff i know and maybe i'm out of line and a bit insenstive to some folks on here who have had to deal with a loss, but soemtimes it just needs to be said. I mighnt be the best listener in the world but i would like to think that if soemone came to me with their issues i would at least have the decenty to try to be there for them.


  • #36
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    I have to say the manner in which this thread has been drawn down into a rant about fellas being unhappy about changing their kids nappies is in poor taste..

    No much wonder there is such unwillingness for people suffering depression to come forward and talk about their troubled state..

    Depression is not a bad case of feeling down.

    Perhaps a MOD could go through the posts and prune out the rubbish, or just delete the whole thread as many of the current posts just serve to further isolate and demean the condition that depression is.


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  • #37
    whelan1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,786 ✭✭✭✭whelan1


    i have a cousin with depression, tbh it is the worst illness ever, he could just be near the end of his treatment and could go back to square one, truly awful for his family and kids... i know its good to talk but a kick in the arse is the last thing a person like my cousin needs... when he is ill, he doesnt believe he is ill, he thinks everyone is against him


  • #38
    mf240
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,876 ✭✭✭mf240


    bbam wrote: »
    I have to say the manner in which this thread has been drawn down into a rant about fellas being unhappy about changing their kids nappies is in poor taste..

    No much wonder there is such unwillingness for people suffering depression to come forward and talk about their troubled state..

    Depression is not a bad case of feeling down.

    Perhaps a MOD could go through the posts and prune out the rubbish, or just delete the whole thread as many of the current posts just serve to further isolate and demean the condition that depression is.

    Seconded

    tidy up and lock


    We have chit chat for acting the pric


  • #39
    pakalasa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,552 ✭✭✭pakalasa


    http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/myths-about-suicide


  • #40
    Manoffeeling
    Closed Accounts Posts: 931 ✭✭✭Manoffeeling


    mf240 wrote: »
    Seconded

    tidy up and lock


    We have chit chat for acting the pric

    Don't lock and there is no one acting the prick. What you see is just typical of the ignorant attitude towards mental illness that is prevalent in our society. Let ignorant people post here and maybe they will then see how wrong they are.


  • #41
    ZETOR_IS_BETTER
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 574 ✭✭✭ZETOR_IS_BETTER


    After reading the first few posts about peoples family members taking their lives and others going through depression, I just want to pass on my sympathies to them and also to thank them for sharing their stories.

    Its just a pity though a few small minded people disrespected the thread :(


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  • #42
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭reilig


    Ah lads, keep it on topic. Don't make it a tit for tat.

    I'm delighted with the response to this thread. This is an area that I have a deep interest in as it is the area that I work in. But I'm not an authority on it. If only one person reads this thread and finds that the information in it is useful, then it has served its purpose.

    Triggers to depression and mental health issues are impossible to pinpoint. The variety of responses to this thread show that these triggers can be both large life changing issues and very small things.

    It would be nice to bring this thread further, so that it could be a resource to people who may need it. At the end of the day, I think that the Farming and Forestry Forum is a good resource for people to blow off steam, get advice on their problems, and even to get some consolation for things that have gone wrong.

    If anyone wants to suggest what we can do to bring the thread on, feel free to do so. This is the first time that I have seen depression being discussed openly on the Farming and Forestry Forum, and I think its a good thing.


  • #43
    bbam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,410 ✭✭✭bbam


    Here's a suggestion for anyone who has a family member having trouble.
    Reflective listening is a good technique to understand...

    Google it and there are many articles or your local Library will most probably have a book that can be borrowed...


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reflective_listening


  • #44
    Muckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,174 ✭✭✭✭Muckit


    I would agree with manoffeeling. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    This is a tread entitled depression. We can see already how some posters are talking about things that they obviously see as depression, but they may not be. As manoffeeling has said, let them post and it is easy to see why there is little sympathy from certain people for those suffering from depression.

    Just because I have lost a brother does not make me an authority on the subject. As part of my day job, I do work with adults with mental health difficulties. Even still I could be accused of being less than caring or being ignorant to certain aspects of the disease in some situations, so I can totally see how someone who is not in close contact with depression sufferers on a daily basis could be a little more ignorant to their circumstances.

    Let me try and make it clear once more. Depression is a disease. It is more than feeling down or having self pity for oneself. Commonly there are chemical imbalances in the brain that can make those with depression act unsociable. Prescribed medication is needed in many cases. The consequences of not taking medication as prescribed are huge. This was the case with my brother. The very sad thing about mental health difficulties is that it can rob the person of their previous personality. Even by taking prescribed drugs it will improve their standard of life, but they will rarely return to their 'full selves.' This can be hard to accept for those with depression and their families and friends.


  • #45
    kerryjack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,579 ✭✭✭kerryjack


    Muckit wrote: »
    I would agree with manoffeeling. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    This is a tread entitled depression. We can see already how some posters are talking about things that they obviously see as depression, but they may not be. As manoffeeling has said, let them post and it is easy to see why there is little sympathy from certain people for those suffering from depression.

    Just because I have lost a brother does not make me an authority on the subject. As part of my day job, I do work with adults with mental health difficulties. Even still I could be accused of being less than caring or being ignorant to certain aspects of the disease in some situations, so I can totally see how someone who is not in close contact with depression sufferers on a daily basis could be a little more ignorant to their circumstances.

    Let me try and make it clear once more. Depression is a disease. It is more than feeling down or having self pity for oneself. Commonly there are chemical imbalances in the brain that can make those with depression act unsociable. Prescribed medication is needed in many cases. The consequences of not taking medication as prescribed are huge. This was the case with my brother. The very sad thing about mental health difficulties is that it can rob the person of their previous personality. Even by taking prescribed drugs it will improve their standard of life, but they will rarely return to their 'full selves.' This can be hard to accept for those with depression and their families and friends.

    Reading your post , I am totally ignorant to the disease , I taught a few beers and an old chat and a pat on the back would do the trick , Forgive my ignorance.


  • #46
    JohnBoy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭JohnBoy


    I have a bit of indirect experience of depression, and have seen what it can do to a person, and has been said a few times here, depression is really not about feeling sad, or feeling low. That can be part of it, but it's so much more, it can be manic-ness (up one minute, down the next) or anxiety (paranoia, over anyalysis), there can be self confidence issues which lead to an inability to talk about it, there can be any number of other things.

    But the main thing is it's a disease, and there are treatments for it, some more effective than others, and it can sometimes take time to find a particular person's right or best treatment, and that treatment may never make the person who they originally were, but they can often live quite well again.


    I think the ignorance (lack of knowledge, not rudeness) of depression is one of the biggest issues, people genuinely dont know what to do or say, and when we dont know what to do or say, most of us will look at the ground and shuffle off quietly to avoid an awkward situation, which unfortunately normally only serves to fuel the fire.



    There are many shapes and forms of it, and many causes and reasons, but also many forms of help.



    (I'd also like to speak up for bob, he can be a bit blunt at times, but what most missed is the last line of his post. There are many people in this world who do just feel sorry for themselves when there's nothing actually wrong with them, the problem is telling the difference between those people and the one's who are in real trouble)


    Oh and let no man be afraid of wiping sh*te of his child's arse, someone could have to wipe yours for you when you're older.


  • #47
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭reilig


    JohnBoy wrote: »


    (I'd also like to speak up for bob, he can be a bit blunt at times, but what most missed is the last line of his post. There are many people in this world who do just feel sorry for themselves when there's nothing actually wrong with them, the problem is telling the difference between those people and the one's who are in real trouble)


    +1


  • #48
    hugo29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,267 ✭✭✭hugo29


    i think this topic should be treated with the respect it deserves. i see my wifes mother who suffers from it go from a ordinary hard working farmers wife to a shell of hershelf, luckily she has the support of her family who get her the treatment she needs when she needs it, i was one of those ignorants who could not understand how people could get depressed until i seen it first hand, lads we all need help every now and then and when someone asks give it freely

    keeryjack i dont know if you are serious or not but a fathers influence is the most important thing a young man can get, if all kids got a bit more hands on from their dad then maybe we wouldnt have a country full of unmannerly tearaways who have no respect for their elders,
    we all were there when they were conceived so man the fcuk up and pull your weight,


  • #49
    grazeaway
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭grazeaway


    hugo29 wrote: »
    keeryjack i dont know if you are serious or not but a fathers influence is the most important thing a young man can get, if all kids got a bit more hands on from their dad then maybe we wouldnt have a country full of unmannerly tearaways who have no respect for their elders,
    we all were there when they were conceived so man the fcuk up and pull your weight,

    +1


  • #50
    Dont be daft
    Registered Users Posts: 442 ✭✭Dont be daft


    Spent most of my lunch reading through the comments here and I have to say its been a bit of an eye-opener.

    I've never suffered with depression nor has anyone in my close proximity, that I know of anyway.

    So hearing these stories has brought it all a bit closer.
    Its strange. Sometimes when you look at a friend or family member thats not doing so well, in business or personal affairs, and you start to worry about them. You try and help them.
    But reading this has me thinking its probably more important to look at the person rather than the life around them, if you want to pick up on depression.


  • #51
    pakalasa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,552 ✭✭✭pakalasa


    Another point is how people can be effected by a single event in their lives. I knew someone once who suffered from bad depression, she had to take time off work and go on strong medication. Later she told me how, her first cousin and best friend growing up, had been murdered recently. It was a high profile case at the time. A shock to hear it and it explained a lot.


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