DEPRESSION SUPPORT- Anonymous posting is possible, see note in post #1.

td5man

Hes a quiet man but mentioned guilt over a bereavement in the family as well, he was also a self employed builder and was owed a lot of money and his 7 yo daughter was questioned by a "really good neighbour" how many cows they have now, f***er was really asking any sign of a sale sign going up
He takes all this on board and could keep it there for years.

jfmck20

Hi ppl. I'm also in a bad position with a good friend. I try talkin to him but he goes blank. We can talk about farming and everything else but I'm worried about him. Don't know if he's eating, sleeping, or even drinking. If someone has some advice please help. I will persist with him, I only wish someone could advise me wot wot wud be the best route to take with him.

freedominacup

td5man wrote: »

Hes a quiet man but mentioned guilt over a bereavement in the family as well, he was also a self employed builder and was owed a lot of money and his 7 yo daughter was questioned by a "really good neighbour" how many cows they have now, f***er was really asking any sign of a sale sign going up
He takes all this on board and could keep it there for years.

All you can do is keep in contact with him and always ask him how he is simply that "How are you?/how are you feeling?". You might be surprised at how he replies. A man who has become a good friend of mine was very reluctant to open up at first when in a difficult spot a few years ago. His wife and mine were good friends and when they were in trouble we did as much as we could practically and support. He changed from an accquaintance to a friend in this time. At the start someone with a bit of experience in dealing with people in their position told us to always ask that question and listen to the answer even if its "I'm ok". They still have plenty of bad days but are much improved I still ask that question and occasionally the answer is "bad or sh1tty for the pastg few days".

They also got professional help and joined a support group which had a huge bearing on how they got through things. The support group was made up of people in the same position as them and I know that the people in that group know far more than either my wife or myself or any other friend or relations do about the bad days and how they coped. All friends can do is support the pro's, take the phonecall when it comes, mind the kids, bring them out for a Sunday lunch or bring them over for a Sunday lunch those small things seem to help.

My friend was and still is a proud, tough, independent man though what happened to them could have killed them. Going to a shrink was something he thought only people of a weaker disposition did, his mind is firmly changed on that. They still have tough times and for quite a while just were going through the motions. They had plenty of family support and support from friends as well as each other, your friend has been cut off from some of that and is cutting himself off from more of it. He needs to get help and his GP might be a place to start. You have to keep in contact with him.

jfmck20

Thanks for the advise. I'll make sure I see him every day even if it's just for a few min. I must chat with td5man. See how he is gettin on. We can help each other to help our friends. Even if I get a smile every now and again. Just a glimmer so he knows I'm tryin to help and maybe, just maybe, he'll open up and explain his side of the story.
A problem shared, is a problem halved........
Thanks again

td5man

Look on the personal issues thrrad, there are a lot of people in a sad lonely and confused state and they are just the ones on here. How many more are out there carrying baggage around everyday and nobody realising that there is anything wrong.. :-(

jfmck20

td5man wrote: »

Look on the personal issues thrrad, there are a lot of people in a sad lonely and confused state and they are just the ones on here. How many more are out there carrying baggage around everyday and nobody realising that there is anything wrong.. :-(

Couldn't agree more with ya, td5man. It's scary how many ppl are out there that suffer in silence. I strongly believe that talkin to ppl, be them friend or stranger, does help. My friend looks to be in good spirits at the moment, on the outside, but I can't even imagine wot he is like on the inside. I'll keep chattin about the everyday stuff and when he is willing to talk I'll listen. But I need to let him know that wot ever he says to me won't go any further.and at times Im gutted when I think of all the ppl that have no-one to talk to.
Don't suppose you have any advice for me, td5man. How is your situation progressing? Do you find it as hard as me?? Cos I'm mentally drained at the min

td5man

Another young man lost locally this week

freedominacup

td5man wrote: »

Another young man lost locally this week

Did you know him well?

CJA James

Very sad about the loss of life of another young man

td5man

freedominacup wrote: »

Did you know him well?

No know his brother though.

td5man

CJA James wrote: »

Very sad about the loss of life of another young man

There seems to be very little help for someone in this position.
Brother in law comitted suicide a couple of years ago.
Gp backed away from him and said she was out of her comfort zone when he went for help!
He was sent to hospital but couldnt get a bed despite there being a new physcriatic ward with nobody in it.
So he was sent home with a weeks supply of tablets after taking an overdose.
When he died the doctor in the hospital said he didnt think he'd do it as he was well dressed.

freedominacup

td5man wrote: »

There seems to be very little help for someone in this position.
Brother in law comitted suicide a couple of years ago.
Gp backed away from him and said she was out of her comfort zone when he went for help!
He was sent to hospital but couldnt get a bed despite there being a new physcriatic ward with nobody in it.
So he was sent home with a weeks supply of tablets after taking an overdose.
When he died the doctor in the hospital said he didnt think he'd do it as he was well dressed.

Words escape me. Too well dressed??? My God.

moy83

freedominacup wrote: »

Words escape me. Too well dressed??? My God.

Can you believe that doc went to college to give a prognosis like that ? The hospital situation can be very hit and miss in this country :mad: and from what I can see its the pig that squeals loudest that gets looked after .
What hope has someone with depression fighting for proper service :mad:

reilig

moy83 wrote: »

What hope has someone with depression fighting for proper service :mad:

That's why it is so important that everyone is tuned in to depression and mental illness. If everyone knows the signs to look out for then they can recognise it their friends, family, colleagues, etc. and squeal loud on their behalf. Suicide rates could be cut by 80% if all people were trained to recognise signs of depression and trained to intervene. It's a simple 4 hour course but only seems to be taken up by people who work with vulnerable people and those who have already suffered losses through suicide.

It's important to note that there is help out there beyond gp's and hospitals. When you suffer with a mental illness, you often lack the ability for broader thinking and when one outlet doesn't help you, you believe that there is nothing else for you. That's why it's so important to support others in maintaining their mental health as well as maintaining a positive outlook in life.

A resource for some of the people that posted in this thread is the Psychologist Shane Martin who runs a programme called Moodwatchers. I have been on some of his training courses through my work. He focuses on positive mental health. His aim is to try to prevent mental issues rather than trying to treat mental health issues after they have impacted on a person. His work is fascinating. He offers low cost (sometimes free) seminars around the country that would be hugely beneficial to anyone with a mental health issue, family members or anyone with an interest in mental health.

www.moodwatchers.com

GY A1

another young man lost again near here
very sad

Marooned75

Ah Jesus that man had it all to live for talk to people so devastating for his family and him.and his teammates.

Toplink

Marooned75 wrote: »

Ah Jesus that man had it all to live for talk to people so devastating for his family and him.and his teammates.

A terrible day in Ballyturn. I hope he's at peace in the arms of his mother and grandmother tonight.

A warrior lost. Rest in Peace Niall.

redzerologhlen

Toplink wrote: »

A terrible day in Ballyturn. I hope he's at peace in the arms of his mother and grandmother tonight.

A warrior lost. Rest in Peace Niall.

It's an awful sad story. I know a few people that were very friendly with him and they are devastated, So many questions and no answers. RIP Niall.

onyerbikepat

Ya, very sad. When a yound guy of just 22 feels he has lost all hope, what can you say. RIP.

whelan1

Anyone watching primetime

Muckit

whelan1 wrote: »

Anyone watching primetime

Fair play to that Conor Cusack. Spoke very well I thought

Timmaay

Muckit wrote: »

Fair play to that Conor Cusack. Spoke very well I thought

I missed that, but just read his blog here: http://ccusack111.blogspot.ie/2013/10/depression-is-friend-not-my-enemy_28.html?m=1 . Really puts things in perspective, and a very useful read for anyone in trouble.

hallo dare

Depression is a horrible thing, but there is help. I myself suffer with it but thankfully i have an extremely loving and patient wife, family and friends that i can turn to.

I use a company call abate,
Phone: 01 8309613 Fax: 01 8301699 Email: info@abatecounselling.com

I am currently going through my second round of sessioins with one of their counsellors and she really is amazing at her job.

Like many a poor soul i find it impossible to talk about things, but i forced myself to go to abate and it's the best thing i have ever done.

So please don't feel like you are alone, there's always someone there for you.

CJA James

Hi yes Connor spoke from the heart, thats why he was so heart wrenching for people to watch. He told the real picture of depression and how difficult it is to ask for help, especially for men. His message is one will reach many and its does only take one thing for a person not to decide to take their life, his mother did not go to Mass, little did she know. Its a thought and a thought can be changed. Well done and hopefully others will ask for help

freedominacup

How are all those we know who are going through a hard time getting over the festivities? It can a very hard time bringing things back to the surface, a face missing around the table or a feeling that eveyone else is having a ball bar themselves. Keep an eye out folks.

jomoloney

Bressie posted the following on FB and I'm sure he won't me quoting here




"honoured to be part of Donal Walsh documentary this evening. Remember, it's ok not to feel ok and it absolutely ok to ask for help"

biddy2013

jomoloney wrote: »

Bressie posted the following on FB and I'm sure he won't me quoting here




"honoured to be part of Donal Walsh documentary this evening. Remember, it's ok not to feel ok and it absolutely ok to ask for help"

some times just talking to someone who will listen can take a big weight off your shoulders, a problem shared is a problem halved

ghogie91

Great thread well done!

exercise is the antidote

I agree great thread...
My username.....are the words of bressie!



Exercise is the antidote... for me anyway

knockmulliner

biddy2013 wrote: »

some times just talking to someone who will listen can take a big weight off your shoulders, a problem shared is a problem halved

Agree 100%, friend or family or G.P. or support line , accord or samaritans are are great listeners no matter how big or small your worry is, the thing is to talk, a little help can do a lot of good and the earlier one acts the better.

great tread, keep it going, supportive posts will help people under stress.