Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

coolhull · 18-05-2015 5:05pm

fussyonion wrote: »

Fresh from Facebook!

"Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

Cannot compute.

"Lads, what's wrong with him? He's trying to say I took his phone, when there were loads of people in his place. Just saying"
The rest, I'm afraid, is beyond me.
Seems to be a combination of Arabic and Nigerian dialects, with a smattering of Turkish thrown in just to fool us.

wolfmoon87 · 18-05-2015 5:06pm

fussyonion wrote: »

Fresh from Facebook!

"Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

Cannot compute.

"Lads what's wrong with him, trying to say I took his phone when there was loads in the gaff. He's just saying it to us because we are girls, and hasn't got it in him to say it to the fellas"

I'm learning to read scanger from this thread

valoren · 18-05-2015 5:06pm

fussyonion wrote: »

Fresh from Facebook!

"Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

Cannot compute.

Friends, what is his problem, trying to infer that it was I who purloined his mobile phone. As a point of reference, there was an abundance of them in the residence. I mention this for your convenience because as I am of a female persuasion and he will readily place blame for this injustice upon my shoulders knowing full well that any cries of injustice from myself are unlikely to come in the form of physical assault. I am readily blamed considering this for my accuser does not the gallantry to foist this injustice onto another man lest an inevitable physical conflict arise as a consequence.

#Stilldoesn'tmakesensetelpis

Generic Dreadhead · 18-05-2015 5:07pm

*rolls up sleeves*

"Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

Gentlemen and Ladies,
What is troubling you lot?
What I am trying to convey to you all, is there is nothing to be concerned about with regard to me apparently taking the mobile phone belonging to my male friend.
There was a large selection of Mobile Phones available in the dwelling.
I firmly believe the reasoning behind such infantile distaste for my actions is for I am but a Woman.
I highly doubt any such accusatory comments are being made towards our male counterparts.
Yours sincerely,
Shaquira-Ella-Ward

18-05-2015 5:09pm

I don't think she's saying "what's wrong with ye", but "what's wrong with this guy that he'd try to accuse us"

Peppa Pig · 18-05-2015 5:36pm

This latest "feature" from FB is annoying

So and so shared a memory from last year

I wasn't interested in it last year so I'm really not interested in it this time around

Best one I've had this year

People - 2 fellas driving around in a white van in the estate. Looks like they are casing the houses. They stop the van, go to certain houses and walk back to the van. Been doing it for the last 20 minutes. Be careful.

Usual comment of "oh that's terrible", "too many burglaries" "need more guards" then this beaut.

You do realise that is the milkmen - they always deliver at this time.

Dolbert · 18-05-2015 6:01pm

fussyonion wrote: »

"Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

I read that in the voice of the monkey priest from Father Ted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN6dovzs9Ys

Fame and Demise · 18-05-2015 6:04pm

fussyonion wrote: »

"Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

Copy it into Google Translate and have a listen

RonanP77 · 18-05-2015 7:17pm

fussyonion wrote:

"Ladss wat is rong wi um tryna say i took es fone wen der was loads in dah gaf jus sayn eh tah us cos wer girls and hasnt got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

It sounds like something from the telletubbies. Amazingly I think I can decipher it. I've never seen "it" typed as "eh" before.

galah · 18-05-2015 7:36pm

fussyonion wrote: »

" got eh in um tah say eh tah de fela's !!!"

.

Ehhhh, macarena!?:P

Telpis, as a foreigner who had to learn English the hard way, all of this is highly insulting...why did I bother? :pac:

razorblunt · 18-05-2015 7:58pm

Talking about Greek police:
"Utter scumbags , supposed to respect tourists but instead they treat u like ur a joke , three times ive been asking for help but unless u pay cash they treat u like scum , mafia wit badges , malaka fukin kunts well watch this space as a few will be dealt with on my return , especially sergeant jackass , he is first to receive my wrath of evilness , thelo sergeant jackass DOA , Right name for him , jackass malaka kunt"

Fame and Demise · 18-05-2015 8:40pm

razorblunt wrote: »

Talking about Greek police:
"Utter scumbags , supposed to respect tourists but instead they treat u like ur a joke , three times ive been asking for help but unless u pay cash they treat u like scum , mafia wit badges , malaka fukin kunts well watch this space as a few will be dealt with on my return , especially sergeant jackass , he is first to receive my wrath of evilness , thelo sergeant jackass DOA , Right name for him , jackass malaka kunt"

I wouldn't mind seeing that, just to see what exactly it is

sullivlo · 18-05-2015 8:42pm

There is a girl in work who added me on FB just after I started. When I say this girl is quiet, she wouldn't say boo to a ghost. She doesn't talk to anyone in work, doesn't come to lunch, doesn't socialise at all with us. Which is fine and her choice. But OMG she is a different person on facebook. No more sensible sally. She just put up a video of her and her "hunzos" doing shots over the weekend, followed by a video of her throwing said shots back up.

When asked in work this morning if she'd been out the weekend she said no. And now I've to watch regurgitated sambuca!

pc7 · 18-05-2015 8:51pm

Telpis! Everytime I see it on this thread I laugh, the scary thing is I've started to say it in real life now (and giggle away after it, no one knows what I'm saying)

Ice Storm · 18-05-2015 9:18pm

sullivlo wrote: »

She just put up a video of her and her "hunzos" doing shots over the weekend, followed by a video of her throwing said shots back up.

Wait, she intentionally posted a video of herself puking!?!

Why?.. just... what is wrong with these people?

coolhull · 18-05-2015 9:34pm

razorblunt wrote: »

Talking about Greek police:
"Utter scumbags , supposed to respect tourists but instead they treat u like ur a joke , three times ive been asking for help but unless u pay cash they treat u like scum , mafia wit badges , malaka fukin kunts well watch this space as a few will be dealt with on my return , especially sergeant jackass , he is first to receive my wrath of evilness , thelo sergeant jackass DOA , Right name for him , jackass malaka kunt"

Telpim

sullivlo · 18-05-2015 9:37pm

Ice Storm wrote: »

Wait, she intentionally posted a video of herself puking!?!

Why?.. just... what is wrong with these people?

Yup. A video of her gawking is all over the Internet. What is seen cannot be unseen.

retro:electro · 18-05-2015 9:46pm

sullivlo wrote: »

There is a girl in work who added me on FB just after I started. When I say this girl is quiet, she wouldn't say boo to a ghost. She doesn't talk to anyone in work, doesn't come to lunch, doesn't socialise at all with us. Which is fine and her choice. But OMG she is a different person on facebook. No more sensible sally. She just put up a video of her and her "hunzos" doing shots over the weekend, followed by a video of her throwing said shots back up.

When asked in work this morning if she'd been out the weekend she said no. And now I've to watch regurgitated sambuca!

She sounds really weird

Whosthis · 18-05-2015 9:56pm

danoriordan1402 wrote: »

"Does ne1 no wer i cud hire ninja turtles for a party hav a lil boy askn for dem to b at his birthday party smile emoticon"

I'm assuming that "smile emoticon" wasn't actually typed in the message and is something to do with copying and pasting from Facebook to Boards but I am 100% going to start typing the names of emoticons on every forum and social media site that I use, I hate the little bastards. Deadly serious emoticon.

Potential Underachiever · 18-05-2015 10:51pm

Ok, I'll bite, what's this Telpis thing all about, google won't even help me.

Loughc · 18-05-2015 10:57pm

Potential Underachiever wrote: »

Ok, I'll bite, what's this Telpis thing all about, google won't even help me.

God help ya!

Toto Wolfcastle · 18-05-2015 10:58pm

It's a great word. My sister said 'God help us' (in a sarcastic way!) in a text earlier and I corrected her.

MonkstownHoop · 18-05-2015 11:01pm

Loughc wrote: »

God help ya!

Telpis!

coolhull · 18-05-2015 11:05pm

Loughc wrote: »

God help ya!

Or more 'accurately' - God help us

Ed Winchester · 18-05-2015 11:52pm

Good, i thought i was the only one who had started saying it in "real life"

Its such a brilliant word!

spud82 · 19-05-2015 1:21am

Ed Winchester wrote: »

Good, i thought i was the only one who had started saying it in "real life"

Its such a brilliant word!

I'm glad I introduced it to ye:cool::cool:

LynnGrace · 19-05-2015 3:17pm

sullivlo wrote: »

Yup. A video of her gawking is all over the Internet. What is seen cannot be unseen.

I'd be unfriending her, or else hiding all updates from her. She sounds strange, to say the least.

MrStuffins · 19-05-2015 3:31pm

Whosthis wrote: »

I'm assuming that "smile emoticon" wasn't actually typed in the message and is something to do with copying and pasting from Facebook to Boards but I am 100% going to start typing the names of emoticons on every forum and social media site that I use, I hate the little bastards. Deadly serious emoticon.

Hans Bricks · 19-05-2015 5:39pm

I'm seeing the re-emergence lately of these kind of sterilization candidate pictures. Always the biggest wasters and utter fools with nothing going for them in life who share this wannabe gangster muck

Rob De Niro.jpg

De Niro.jpg

kitty3kids · 19-05-2015 9:54pm

kitten_k wrote: »

Both from the same person:

Kitten k we have the same friend!!!!

sullivlo · 19-05-2015 9:55pm

Don't get me wrong, I love a good minion. But those f**king minion memes are wrecking my buzz.

Ed Winchester · 19-05-2015 11:30pm

kitty3kids wrote: »

Kitten k we have the same friend!!!!

Kitty3kids is friends with kittenk.

Something fishy goin on here!!

Miaow

Un Croissant · 20-05-2015 12:15am

I've triple checked..

PandaPoo · 20-05-2015 12:17am

Un Croissant wrote: »

I've triple checked..

I see that every few months

Idiots.

rawn · 20-05-2015 12:22am

Un Croissant wrote: »

I've triple checked..

I was gonna post that earlier, just for the Feng Shui part

kitten_k · 20-05-2015 10:06am

kitty3kids wrote: »

Kitten k we have the same friend!!!!

I wonder if I know you?

20-05-2015 11:23am

"life has ups and downs u just hav eto learn to stop set tripen and givein a **** about people who just dint give a **** about you yea jnow keep trill and h=rick you rhonor way more then rocken ur pride becuse in true full on honor can and will leadde to the trueist for of pride a man can have stay loyal to you rwomen till the end even if she wont thatway u can be the one too walk away honor intact becuse i dont care waht any one says a man is not a man with out his honor and a man with out his honor will nvr find his trueist form of real pride treat others as u want to be treated even if they will nvr treat u the same karma dose and will always catch up to villains becuse well sadley villains nvr get to have a happy ending ever just look at history well ive said all i want to and cant spell for **** lolz im out love peace honor butt always go to war when you have to defend your famliy and the ones u love ill will nvr stop liveing this way for anybody no matter har far they try there best to putt me in hell they for get im already in hell every day so how could they ever get one more chance to send me into hell butt dont worry world my honor will hold me and ill be just a ok with being in hell every day hahahahhah"

I am related to this person. Who needs punctuation.

20-05-2015 11:39am

Morning peeps...

Un Croissant · 20-05-2015 11:49am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

"life has ups and downs u just hav eto learn to stop set tripen and givein a **** about people who just dint give a **** about you yea jnow keep trill and h=rick you rhonor way more then rocken ur pride becuse in true full on honor can and will leadde to the trueist for of pride a man can have stay loyal to you rwomen till the end even if she wont thatway u can be the one too walk away honor intact becuse i dont care waht any one says a man is not a man with out his honor and a man with out his honor will nvr find his trueist form of real pride treat others as u want to be treated even if they will nvr treat u the same karma dose and will always catch up to villains becuse well sadley villains nvr get to have a happy ending ever just look at history well ive said all i want to and cant spell for **** lolz im out love peace honor butt always go to war when you have to defend your famliy and the ones u love ill will nvr stop liveing this way for anybody no matter har far they try there best to putt me in hell they for get im already in hell every day so how could they ever get one more chance to send me into hell butt dont worry world my honor will hold me and ill be just a ok with being in hell every day hahahahhah"

I am related to this person. Who needs punctuation.

Life has its ups and downs. You just have to learn to stop tripping and giving a **** about people who don't give a **** about you. Keep thrill and ??? your ???.

I give up.

Frynge · 20-05-2015 12:13pm

The wife tells me Facebook has a feature that shows your posts from years back each day or something to that effect. Hopefully, in years to come some of the people doing an injustice to the Oxford English Dictionary as well as many other things, will come across their perversion of vocabulary and find themselves aghast at previous persona or die due to some grammatically induced error.

MrVestek · 20-05-2015 12:18pm

Frynge wrote: »

The wife tells me Facebook has a feature that shows your posts from years back each day or something to that effect. Hopefully, in years to come some of the people doing an injustice to the Oxford English Dictionary as well as many other things, will come across their perversion of vocabulary and find themselves aghast at previous persona or die due to some grammatically induced error.

Yeah they've kinda stolen the idea from the likes of Timehop etc.

Rosie Rant · 20-05-2015 12:38pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

"life has ups and downs u just hav eto learn to stop set tripen and givein a **** about people who just dint give a **** about you yea jnow keep trill and h=rick you rhonor way more then rocken ur pride becuse in true full on honor can and will leadde to the trueist for of pride a man can have stay loyal to you rwomen till the end even if she wont thatway u can be the one too walk away honor intact becuse i dont care waht any one says a man is not a man with out his honor and a man with out his honor will nvr find his trueist form of real pride treat others as u want to be treated even if they will nvr treat u the same karma dose and will always catch up to villains becuse well sadley villains nvr get to have a happy ending ever just look at history well ive said all i want to and cant spell for **** lolz im out love peace honor butt always go to war when you have to defend your famliy and the ones u love ill will nvr stop liveing this way for anybody no matter har far they try there best to putt me in hell they for get im already in hell every day so how could they ever get one more chance to send me into hell butt dont worry world my honor will hold me and ill be just a ok with being in hell every day hahahahhah"

I am related to this person. Who needs punctuation.

Lots of references to honour. Or "honor" - is this person a Klingon? I really struggled through a good portion of that. At least they acknowledge their crappy spelling

.

Chris Martin · 20-05-2015 12:55pm

"Finally. Outfit-check shoes-check nails tan n lashes n brows-check hair-check now to find some tittie tape and suck me in pants lol"

Birthday party this weekend, needs essentials.

A few comments to go with this:

Mother in Law: Ann Summers shop
Sister: Thats an awkward question to see my sister ask hahaha x
OP: Its only tittie tape im ryt for ppl seein my nips in the cold lol x

Call me innocent but I've never heard of tittie tape before.
Then again I'm a man...

Un Croissant · 20-05-2015 1:29pm

Chris Martin wrote: »

Call me innocent but I've never heard of tittie tape before.
Then again I'm a man...

You haven't lived.

niallo32 · 20-05-2015 3:03pm

"Makes me laf the government are going to take on 300 refugees when they cant even look after there own people there is over 10,000 people homeless in Ireland so were are they going to put these refugees on the streets of Dublin cork ect with a sleeping bag as that's what is happen to our own people. My advice is when your putting money into safe the children water aid Nepal earthquake ect think Ireland let us get big pockets first like England has and Germany France has hence they have no problem with homeless as the budget is about hundred time ours so please when your giving money to a homeless person it take less than a min to ask it they are Irish if so look after them and let all foreigners know they are not welcome there getting place from the council in the old parts of Dublin they get 65euro more than the Irish people to associate with Irish people this is why there is no work or jobs out there holy **** have a good look at what these sort of people have done to England rape,child molesters,drugs,illness that we have never seen as a kid in Ireland what do these people give Ireland there mothers and fathers and grandfathers and grandmothers have not worked thereselfs to the bone to give it the theses bunch ***** no its time to send them home take the pressure of all the hospital s schools doctors lets pull our pants up now vote no dole here for foreign people unless they were here for min of 10 yrs paying in to our country and only min wage in any job for them lets say European rate for them but all jobs have to be offered to Irish people first and if your on the dole be sent for these jobs then mark my words they wont want to stay long Irish people come first.
Rant over but its true please send this to everybody you know open ur eyes now before its to late ."

bjork · 20-05-2015 3:14pm

^^No, It''ll be wonderful. We'll put them in ghost estates and they can mow our lawns...

Chris Martin · 20-05-2015 3:16pm

^^^
Seen a good few of these..
People going above and beyond to vent their outrage and managing to discriminate as many people as they can into one status.

Would love though, just for a day, slip them into Dail under the guise of an independent TD and let them speak their mind..
Love to see their reactions. Losing their rag over hypothetical situations. This f**ker will sort them out. :P
(S)he'll scare them silent as well so they'll probably get their whole speech out as well. :P
Love the solutions they have to problems as well.
No dole for foreigners unless they're here min 10 years.

They have a point, there's a homeless issue in Ireland at the moment but I'm sure there's far better places to take money from than other charities abroad :P
F**k foreign charities! Concentrate on our charities!

Generalisation is great as well. A good read and you know there's passion behind it, or anger, depending on how you look at it, but the facts behind it are as ludicrous as thier solutions :P

Still, it make me smile, and I'm thinking of an Enda, Burton, this guy/gal stand-off. Good, Bad and Ugly style. :P

Whosthis · 20-05-2015 3:24pm

niallo32 wrote: »

"Makes me laf the government are going to take on 300 refugees when..... "

The most disappointing part of this post is that it didn't begin with "I'm not racist, but....." Missed opportunity in my opinion.

RainyDay · 20-05-2015 3:24pm

Chris Martin wrote: »

^^^
Would love though, just for a day, slip them into Dail under the guise of an independent TD and let them speak their mind..
Love to see their reactions.

I'd love to slip them into a hospital for a day with a serious illness, and see how brave they are about venting their racism on the African doctor and Filipino nurses who might be saving their life.

lizzyman · 20-05-2015 3:54pm

" i just saw a vid of a lad only wearin a pair of cut off denim skimpy shorts filming himself dancin around the room!! FOOL"

"Facebook is the ****in main stage for drama queens"

"Beards tis the ruination off Ireland!! Has the people all gone wrong! I **** u not!"

And in an interesting new twist on the Sam Cooke classic: "fistin the night away"

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

Comments