How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

01-06-2019 3:22pm

On Tinder the top 80 percent of women are only interested in the top 20 percent of men. Tinder is good advice for a woman, but if your an average looking dude, forget about it!

suicide_circus · 01-06-2019 3:40pm

Hamza Some Restaurant wrote: »

On Tinder the top 80 percent of women are only interested in the top 20 percent of men. Tinder is good advice for a woman, but if your an average looking dude, forget about it!

yeah its true, men seem to be much more forgiving in the physical sense where as this tinder information suggests that woman are only actively attracted to the better looking men. i suppose it makes sense in evolutionary terms, you dont dont need many men to populate your tribe but you do need lots of women - the health and future prospects of your tribe can be measured by the amount of healthy young women in it. men are evolutionarily disposable in a way that women arent.

scamalert · 01-06-2019 3:40pm

Hamza Some Restaurant wrote: »

On Tinder the top 80 percent of women are only interested in the top 20 percent of men. Tinder is good advice for a woman, but if your an average looking dude, forget about it!

workaround to that, is to go abroad, open tinder float looking for some fun for a day, pocket will be only issue

Nobelium · 01-06-2019 3:41pm

suicide_circus wrote: »

yeah its true, men seem to be much more forgiving in the physical sense where as this tinder information suggests that woman are only actively attracted to the better looking men. i suppose it makes sense in evolutionary terms, you dont dont need many men to populate your tribe but you do need lots of women - the health and future prospects of your tribe can be measured by the amount of healthy young women in it. men are evolutionarily disposable in a way that women arent.

you really need to give "social" media a break . . .

suicide_circus · 01-06-2019 3:42pm

Nobelium wrote: »

you really need to give "social" media a break . . .

why? i dont do social media other than this site. what did i say that was incorrect? i'm happily taken by the way so this stuff dosnt worry me

01-06-2019 3:43pm

i find that ppl with strong opinions on what percentage of women or men want as regards the opposite sex, or how evolution has made an entire gender a certain way, might be worth paying a little less attention to.

theres a dozen things a fella could do today to get his chances rising, none of them involve pessimism or generalisations about half the planet. all of them involve himself.

riclad · 01-06-2019 3:44pm

Theres other dating websites apart from tinder,
there are women out there that are looking for a man who is smart,kind,
likes music, or books, or going to concerts,theatre etc
i don,t think they are all looking just for someone that looks like brad pitt .
You might meet someone in real life,
do not just rely on dating apps.

Mister Vain · 01-06-2019 4:23pm

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I initially moved back in with my parents while I got settled back in my born county, but since then it has become beneficial for both me and my parents to stay living together. They're both over 70, and I help them with the tech side of things, keeping them up to date with tv and sports, etc that they wouldn't be able to arrange themselves. My mother said that even her phone would be out the window if I leave. So I'm kinda stuck, but can leave at any stage if I really wanted. Just makes sense right now to stay.

If there's one thing that is definite about living at home, its that you become the resident I.T guru.

I recently built a log cabin in my parents back garden and am loving it. I have my own space but am still close to the family. Rent is just far too expensive so it seemed like the best option. Like that my folks always need help with tech stuff. My father can't even set the alarm on his phone.

Zorya · 01-06-2019 6:48pm

Goodness gracious me, that chap ^^^^ has made a skillion videos about how getting and keeping girlfriends. There is something quite odd about it all.

Edit ok its gone

jimjangles · 01-06-2019 8:16pm

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

Church on Tuesday · 01-06-2019 8:20pm

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

Are you sure about that?

Like I said, it's up to you man, you've got loads of good advice here from most and things will only improve if you want them to improve.

_blaaz · 01-06-2019 8:22pm

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

Tbh if its making you feel.this bad....its hardly worth bothering with

Lifes too short to feel.crappy about yourself

Zorya · 01-06-2019 8:32pm

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

D'you know what jimjangles seen as life is crap and you don't want to lift weights, why not lift other things? Go for broke seen as everything is useless. Makes sense.

Here, these are people looking for immediate help, as in tomorrow or sooner. They put you up and feed you.
If you like hot weather this guy in Greece wants a general hand around the place. https://www.workaway.info/981928639952-en.html I don't think the camels are included.
But if you don't like it too warm there's a place in Finland for you and the Huskies ARE included!

https://www.workaway.info/567512545568-en.html
And if you like it warm and a bit wilder and taking into account that summer is beautiful in Nepal and there are mountains!!, and you have the few bob for transport there, they are looking or people to help rebuild stuff after the earthquake. https://www.workaway.info/643587577169-en.html

All these and more cost is the journey there.

Life goes fast. Carpe Diem.

Nobelium · 01-06-2019 8:41pm

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

I think you are falling into the same trap as pick up artists do, and think it all some sort of science to be learned. It's really not. For every man who feels like you do, there is women who feel the exact same. Work on developing you for you, and your own satisfaction, not anyone else's.

The key to life is to learn, and try something new every day, and improve what you do every day, even the simplest so called mundane things, that's what will get you up out of bed every morning. Negativity only attracts negative things.

Practice daily gratitude every day, presumably you have food, clean water, shelter, and heating, and clean air to breath. Going for a walk somewhere nice and the when you get home, having a simple cup of tea and fresh apple turnover is like a gift from the Gods. That's more than a lot of people in the world have. Presumably you're not paraplegic or crippled, so life is as good as you want it to be. The best things in life are for free or almost free. Every small little good thing you do each day, think about how fortunate you are to be able to do it. Even washing the dishes and drying them is sending out a little bit of good into the world and your life. Most of all talk nice to yourself, the way you would to a friend you care about, or they way a sports coach who likes you would. Don't talk to yourself negatively, or be hard on yourself.

Work on improving your body and mind every day, and your mental and physical strength and well being. That also involves socialising in whatever means you devise, from clubs to societies to who knows what. If you practice all these things day on day, eventually, you will be a positive happy person again, and then life becomes so much easier. Positivity and simple positive actions, attracts more positive things.

When you've recovered your positivity for life and yourself, then get interested in the types of clubs and societies the opposite sex also frequent. Don't go looking for a woman, just go looking for simple conversation with any and everyone. Aim to get a few female friends first and take it from there, go to dinner or the pub or the cinema with them on a friends only basis, the more women you meet, the sooner you will meet one, by accident, where you both just click and want to date romantically.

dellas1979 · 01-06-2019 9:43pm

jimjangles wrote: »

I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

But you see Jimjangles, if you arent happy with yourself/in your life, how do expect someone to want to be part of your life? I think its a bit selfish you'd want to do that to someone. It's not genuine. I think from what you said you just want to be in any relationship. Not one that's fulling and healthy.

That really is not attractive. Never mind if youve seven eyes and three mickeys or look like quasimido.

Its almost like you are looking to meet someone to get you out of a mess.
You've to get yourself out of the mess.

BTW, just throwing it out to the boards like

Am female, single, no kids, road frontage/house, good job, loves travelling/adventure, and very hard to meet a daycent fella.

Outlaw Pete · 01-06-2019 10:22pm

dellas1979 wrote: »

But you see Jimjangles, if you arent happy with yourself/in your life, how do expect someone to want to be part of your life? I think its a bit selfish you'd want to do that to someone.

So unless you are happy in yourself/in your life you shouldn't be looking to meet someone? What nonsense, although to be fair to you, it's quite a common attitude.

That really is not attractive.

Maybe not to you but lots of people would be attracted to someone even if they didn't like themselves so much or weren't all that happy with how things have turned out for themselves.

Is almost like you are looking to meet someone to get you out of a mess.

What an awful thing to say.

Am female, single, no kids, road frontage/house, good job, loves travelling/adventure, and very hard to meet a daycent fella.

Lots of 'daycent' fellas around but you might pass them by if you're thinking that guys who aren't all that happy with their life are just looking to meet someone to get out of a mess.

Church on Tuesday · 01-06-2019 10:40pm

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

So unless you are happy in yourself/in your life you shouldn't be looking to meet someone? What nonsense, although to be fair to you, it's quite a common attitude.

Maybe not to you but lots of people would be attracted to someone even if they didn't like themselves so much or weren't all that happy with how things have turned out for themselves.

What an awful thing to say.

Lots of 'daycent' fellas around but you might pass them by if you're thinking that guys who aren't all that happy with their life are just looking to meet someone to get out of a mess.

It is vital that you are happy and content in yourself before you engage in a relationship with someone else.

Speaking from experience here cos I've been there worn the shirt; my ex was what you may call a damaged individual.

In fairness she told me from the get go she was unhappy for years before she met me. No amount of me reassuring her, complimenting her, encouraging her and being there for her made a jot of a difference in the end. And she was beautiful inside and out but she just simply despised herself.

For those reasons and others she dropped me a few years ago and I'll admit it crushed me and left me in an extremely bad place.

You owe it to yourself to fix yourself. If you don't love yourself in this life then how can you possibly love someone else? Forget the Hollywood bull**** where someone comes along and hey presto; life fixed and complete. You need to be doing that for yourself first and foremost or you'll end up having a fairly miserable life and in turn partner.

ILoveYourVibes · 02-06-2019 12:06am

Love relationships and the opposite gender are now what people hold as false idols ...like money or fame.

Love does not always make for a good match. Or not that idolatry type love.

If you want a relationship or a marriage. The one you are with you should endeavor to make your soulmate.

So whoever you end up with by definition is your soulmate.

Love is built.

Accept their flaws ...you can be with anyone then.

moonlighting_1 · 02-06-2019 1:08am

I joined the MGTOW movement.

Richard Hillman · 02-06-2019 3:03am

A key skill in life is to always know when to give up. Late 30s, nothing happening romantically, it's time to call it a day on the ladies front.

I think male suicide is so high because there are males that are just completely unacceptant that they will fail to do their one duty on the planet, reproducing. We are not all supposed to reproduce. If we did, then we would have died out centuries ago.

Just find stuff that you love doing and keep on with it. If people are spending their time failing at reproducing, they are going to end up being miserable and suicidal.

Acceptance is key. Knowing that the game is lost but you may as well have a bit of fun while you're here anyway. Stop looking and you'll find happiness.

02-06-2019 3:08am

Depressing, but probably an element of truth in it..

Mongfinder General · 02-06-2019 3:32am

37, no wife, no kids. You should be dancing down the street and into work every day. Do you realize how lucky you are?

Please read this book. https://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood/dp/1594037620

There is very little in it for you if you settle down. If you want a bit of excitement then do something random like that dude from love actually. Pick a random American city suburban bar and hang out there for a couple of weeks. If you've got friend in the States, use their place as a base. You'll have a ball.

Tammy! · 02-06-2019 3:53am

suicide_circus wrote: »

If Buck Rogers could do it in the 25th Century, you can do it in the 21st

Yes op just do it like Buck Rogers. Do it like this....

ILoveYourVibes · 02-06-2019 4:05am

Go to the past or the future.

Hobosan · 02-06-2019 4:33am

moonlighting_1 wrote: »

I joined the MGTOW movement.

Congratulations! I hear the numbers have grown so large that they are only accepting the best and brightest of men.

Very few are being accepted now.

Hobosan · 02-06-2019 4:50am

Tilikum17 wrote: »

You’ll met someone when you least expect it.

It sounds like a cliché, but it is true. I never go out and socialise and thought meeting a woman was inconceivable, until late one night, the girl of my dreams broke into my house to rob the gaff. Well, in a twist of fate, she is now conceiving and the YouTube tutorials on delivering babies has made her slightly more trusting of my long term intentions.

Sometimes I wonder if true love and Stockholm Syndrome are one in the same.

Wibbs · 02-06-2019 9:13am

Mongfinder General wrote: »

37, no wife, no kids. You should be dancing down the street and into work every day. Do you realize how lucky you are?

Please read this book. https://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood/dp/1594037620

The very first sentence in the blurb: American society has become anti-male. America. Ireland is not America. We have a much lower divorce rate for a start. For all the young wans sounding like valley girls, it's a very different culture.

BabysCoffee · 02-06-2019 9:18am

I would suggest getting involved in the community - are there any group volunteering activities? Tidy Towns or community clean up, etc.

Are you a member of the local library? Join a book club or even set one up.

Do you like outdoor activities? Join a walking group/kayak club.

Have you checked out meetup.com? Go on a group cinema meet up, etc.

dellas1979 · 02-06-2019 12:32pm

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

So unless you are happy in yourself/in your life you shouldn't be looking to meet someone? What nonsense, although to be fair to you, it's quite a common attitude.

Maybe not to you but lots of people would be attracted to someone even if they didn't like themselves so much or weren't all that happy with how things have turned out for themselves.

What an awful thing to say.

Lots of 'daycent' fellas around but you might pass them by if you're thinking that guys who aren't all that happy with their life are just looking to meet someone to get out of a mess.

Jeesss-you really took that one personally.

I dont believe you can be in a happy/healthy relationship, unless both people involved are happy, in their own individuality. A bonus is that the person knows themselves and knows what they like. That's very attactive (to me).

Now, sheit happens in people's lives all the time-that's different. Having a good foundation to yourself and a good foundation in the relationship will get couples through those times.

Am far gone away from the path of meeting emotional retards/emotionally unavailable guys, man babies, and fellas who are expecting me to "fix them".

I will not spend my valuable, limited time on this earth with a person like the above. I enjoy my life single. If I was to meet someone who was on same page as me, happy days. If not, I wont die.

pauliebdub · 02-06-2019 12:38pm

jimjangles wrote: »

So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
I should probably just forget about it.

That's very defeatist. You're not going to meet anyone if you sit at home. You're going to have to step outside of your comfort zone if anything is going to change for you.

OMM 0000 · 02-06-2019 12:50pm

I'm married to a very lovely woman (also beautiful) and had a lot of success over the years. YET I'M JUST AVERAGE LOOKING. This is what worked for me. It will work for you.

Women are attracted to men who appear to have their **** together, will probably be good providers in the future, and who look OK.

I'm aware some of the advice below is ridiculous.

1. You need good hygiene. Shower every day. Wear deodorant. Make sure your feet and shoes do not smell. If your shoes smell, throw them away. Floss every night. Brush your teeth morning and night. If you have bad breath, find out what's causing it. It's probably from your stomach. Caffeine / spices / alcohol are the usual culprits.

2. Go to the dentist twice a year. Get your haircut every month or two. You don't need a fancy haircut. Remember your goal is to look "OK".

3. Ask a female friend to help you buy clothes. You don't need expensive clothes. You need clothes which fit you, so get them fitted if necessary. Wearing classic clothes is a safe bet. By this is don't mean a fedora. I mean clothes which are plain and use dark colours. Also make sure you wear decent shoes. These can be boots, brogues or anything your female friend thinks looks sophisticated. Stop wearing trainers.

4. Stand straight. It will make you look confident.

5. Lose weight and gain some muscle. I'm not talking about being a bodybuilder. I'm talking about the kind of shape you can get into after 6 months in the gym. This is enough for women to think you look good. You will probably need to change your diet. Look into ketogenic. Your workout routine should be the one body part per week routine. For example, legs on Sunday, chest on Monday, back on Tuesday, shoulders on Thursday, arms on Friday. This is generally considered the best workout routine for gaining mass and recovery time.

6. Stop playing video games. Stop **** to anime. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Very few women are attracted to men whose idea of a good Friday night is sitting at home playing games online and then jerking off to Samurai Pizza Cats.

7. Learn how to be a good conversationalist. That means being a good listener. Show interest in people. Ask them questions about what they're talking about. Actually listen. Make some jokes.

8. Have some ambition. Have a goal. Work towards it. You don't need to become rich but you do need to be aiming for the sort of things women find attractive - owning a home, stable income, enough to support a family, enough to make her feel her man is a good man. This doesn't mean she's a gold digger. Women want stability. They want to be married to a man, not a man-child.

9. Get out there and get talking to women.

None of the above are difficult.

suicide_circus · 02-06-2019 12:59pm

some absolute pony being peddled here about happiness.

happiness is fleeting. you can be contented but trying to be happy is a mugs game.

Nobelium · 02-06-2019 1:20pm

suicide_circus wrote: »

some absolute pony being peddled here about happiness.

happiness is fleeting. you can be contented but trying to be happy is a mugs game.

you can literally be as happy or as miserable as you decide to be, happiness does not depend on external things or other people, the sooner people work that out the happier they will be.

Nikki Sixx · 02-06-2019 1:29pm

This thread has gone very dark and depressing.

Zorya · 02-06-2019 1:30pm

Nobelium wrote: »

you can literally be as happy or as miserable as you decide to be, happiness does not depend on external things or other people, the sooner people work that out the happier they will be.

I think you can decide to be content. But happiness does to a certain extent depend on other people and external things so it is much more fragile than contentment.
If your other half or your child or a close loved one/friend starts being really mean, or cheats on you, or gets really sick, maybe gets schizophrenia, and becomes someone completely different than you counted on, or if you got run over and lost limbs or a million other possible external things you might not feel happy. In fact you mightvery naturally feel inclined to be miserable.

Given how unstable life actually is, it is probably better to try cultivate some kind of stoic middle way called contentment. And endurance for the crap times. Of course one might be occasionally happy even in the most gruelling circumstances. And occasionally one might even be miserable when everything is going very well. But contentment and endurance is more sustainable than striving for happiness.

CelticRambler · 02-06-2019 1:41pm

Dancing is a great way to meet people, but you'll meet an awful lot of women who have a man at home who'd rather stay at home watching re-runs of some soccer match (or is a new one ... dunno, they all seem the same, stupid game ... ) If you're lucky, she might let you know early on in the night, but many's the time I've met someone "really great" only for her to announce at the end of the night that she's staying faithful to her man.

But if there are any single wimmin reading this, in their late thirties and gettin' desperate for a daycent fella, I have road frontage, most of my teeth, some of my hair and a great crop of spuds in the garden. Try before you buy - I'll be dancing to the strains of Valsaviris (great group) in Condat-sur-Vienne on Saturday night! :pac:

suicide_circus · 02-06-2019 1:44pm

Nobelium wrote: »

you can literally be as happy or as miserable as you decide to be, happiness does not depend on external things or other people, the sooner people work that out the happier they will be.

snake oil

OMM 0000 · 02-06-2019 1:45pm

CelticRambler wrote: »

Dancing is a great way to meet people

Absolutely true.

When I was a single lad in my 20s, one of my friends would just dance on the dance floor and it worked well. He was a good dancer and confident. I'd say 80%+ of the women he met were through dancing.

It's a great technique because you get to break the ice and create a spark at the same time.

Church on Tuesday · 02-06-2019 1:48pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm married to a very lovely woman (also beautiful) and had a lot of success over the years. YET I'M JUST AVERAGE LOOKING. This is what worked for me. It will work for you.

Women are attracted to men who appear to have their **** together, will probably be good providers in the future, and who look OK.

I'm aware some of the advice below is ridiculous.

1. You need good hygiene. Shower every day. Wear deodorant. Make sure your feet and shoes do not smell. If your shoes smell, throw them away. Floss every night. Brush your teeth morning and night. If you have bad breath, find out what's causing it. It's probably from your stomach. Caffeine / spices / alcohol are the usual culprits.

2. Go to the dentist twice a year. Get your haircut every month or two. You don't need a fancy haircut. Remember your goal is to look "OK".

3. Ask a female friend to help you buy clothes. You don't need expensive clothes. You need clothes which fit you, so get them fitted if necessary. Wearing classic clothes is a safe bet. By this is don't mean a fedora. I mean clothes which are plain and use dark colours. Also make sure you wear decent shoes. These can be boots, brogues or anything your female friend thinks looks sophisticated. Stop wearing trainers.

4. Stand straight. It will make you look confident.

5. Lose weight and gain some muscle. I'm not talking about being a bodybuilder. I'm talking about the kind of shape you can get into after 6 months in the gym. This is enough for women to think you look good. You will probably need to change your diet. Look into ketogenic. Your workout routine should be the one body part per week routine. For example, legs on Sunday, chest on Monday, back on Tuesday, shoulders on Thursday, arms on Friday. This is generally considered the best workout routine for gaining mass and recovery time.

6. Stop playing video games. Stop **** to anime. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Very few women are attracted to men whose idea of a good Friday night is sitting at home playing games online and then jerking off to Samurai Pizza Cats.

7. Learn how to be a good conversationalist. That means being a good listener. Show interest in people. Ask them questions about what they're talking about. Actually listen. Make some jokes.

8. Have some ambition. Have a goal. Work towards it. You don't need to become rich but you do need to be aiming for the sort of things women find attractive - owning a home, stable income, enough to support a family, enough to make her feel her man is a good man. This doesn't mean she's a gold digger. Women want stability. They want to be married to a man, not a man-child.

9. Get out there and get talking to women.

None of the above are difficult.

Loads of women are into gaming, granted I'm not but I remember chatting to a girl online a while back and she was big into it.

Good looking too.

It's one of OP's hobbies. Worst things he could be doing like throwing a load of drink down his throat like nearly everybody else over the generic weekend.

OMM 0000 · 02-06-2019 1:51pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Loads of women are into gaming, granted I'm not but I remember chatting to a girl online a while back and she was big into it.

Good looking too.

It's one of OP's hobbies. Worst things he could be doing like throwing a load of drink down his throat like nearly everybody else over the generic weekend.

Ah come on now, that's not true.

For every 100 women, if you're lucky 1 of them is into gaming.

By gaming I am assuming you mean on a PC. Not sometimes on their phone as they wait for their bus.

If you're not good looking, meeting women is a numbers game.

So if you're limiting yourself to 1 in 100 women, you're going to have a hard time.

CelticRambler · 02-06-2019 2:01pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Loads of women are into gaming, granted I'm not but I remember chatting to a girl online a while back and she was big into it.

Good looking too.

On a train in the States last year, I met a girl from New Hampshire who had literally packed up all her belongings into four suitcases that morning and was heading off to meet a guy from Kentucky who she'd been playing video games with for the previous four years, but never met in real life.

My son's flatmate (fine young woman, wears sensible shoes) also plays a lot of video games (and writes them, and plays classical violin ... )

Nothing wrong with gaming as a hobby or a career.

OMM 0000 · 02-06-2019 2:04pm

CelticRambler wrote: »

On a train in the States last year, I met a girl from New Hampshire who had literally packed up all her belongings into four suitcases that morning and was heading off to meet a guy from Kentucky who she'd been playing video games with for the previous four years, but never met in real life.

My son's flatmate (fine young woman, wears sensible shoes) also plays a lot of video games (and writes them, and plays classical violin ... )

Nothing wrong with gaming as a hobby or a career.

Now how many women do you know who are not gamers and not really attracted to gamers?

Pretty sure it's a long list...

I'm not trying to argue. I just want to emphasise how it's a numbers game...

Church on Tuesday · 02-06-2019 2:05pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Ah come on now, that's not true.

For every 100 women, if you're lucky 1 of them is into gaming.

By gaming I am assuming you mean on a PC. Not sometimes on their phone as they wait for their bus.

If you're not good looking, meeting women is a numbers game.

So if you're limiting yourself to 1 in 100 women, you're going to have a hard time.

You do realize that gaming is extremely popular with both sexes under the age of 35 right?

If you're not objectionably good looking then certainly it's a numbers game.

But it also helps if you identify hobbies you have that other women will also find interesting.

I've had women come up to me and message me on dating sites and after some polite conversation I just killed the conversation; we had no mutual interests, therefore there was no point continuing. Been done to me too.

It stands to reason if you can find common ground with a woman, your chances greatly improve, that and good grooming dress sense/confidence.

Go to places you find interesting where women will be too and strike up a conversation.

Everyone has different interests at the end of the day.

Nobelium · 02-06-2019 2:06pm

suicide_circus wrote: »

snake oil

nope just the truth, the sooner you stop making your happiness dependent on others and external things you have no control over, the happier you'll be. Alternatively you can sit in a puddle of your own mind piss.

OMM 0000 · 02-06-2019 2:15pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

You do realize that gaming is extremely popular with both sexes under the age of 35 right?

Let me try a different angle.

For every 1 female gamer, how many male gamers are there?

100? 200?

Perhaps this is a bad comparison, but a workmate asked me to go to a "Magic The Gathering" event. There was 1 female there. Perhaps 80 - 100 guys.

Even if you try to think of all the women you've ever known (mother, sister, work mate, college friends etc.), honestly what percentage of them were into gaming?

Not many, right?

Continue playing your games, but it's not going to help your love life. Even if we use this logic:

Instead of playing games, if you were out in the real world meeting people... can you agree your chance of meeting women would be significantly higher?

CelticRambler · 02-06-2019 2:22pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Now how many women do you know who are not gamers and not really attracted to gamers?

Fewer than the number of women I know who aren't the least bit attracted to guys who like soccer!

Neither of my sisters would be bothered with playing video games, but my daughters and all of my nieces would fight each other for a place on the sofa, "accidentally" elbowing their brothers in balls if necessary!

As far as they're concerned, it's no different a hobby to playing music or reading books or picking flowers. Times have changed!

In the end, the "numbers" only matter if they're the right ones. 90% of events organised for "singles" are based around going out for a drink. So if you don't drink, you're fecked. On the other hand, some of the dances I'd go to would have hardly anyone at them and yet there'd be one interesting girl there that I mightn't have noticed at all if the place had been packed.

OMM 0000 · 02-06-2019 2:26pm

CelticRambler wrote: »

Fewer than the number of women I know who aren't the least bit attracted to guys who like soccer!

Neither of my sisters would be bothered with playing video games, but my daughters and all of my nieces would fight each other for a place on the sofa, "accidentally" elbowing their brothers in balls if necessary!

As far as they're concerned, it's no different a hobby to playing music or reading books or picking flowers. Times have changed!

In the end, the "numbers" only matter if they're the right ones. 90% of events organised for "singles" are based around going out for a drink. So if you don't drink, you're fecked. On the other hand, some of the dances I'd go to would have hardly anyone at them and yet there'd be one interesting girl there that I mightn't have noticed at all if the place had been packed.

I think that's fair. But I think a lot of guys who like soccer watch it in the pub so they have a chance to socialise with women. I also think liking soccer is not seen as nerdy.

Would you agree this is fair:

Instead of playing games, if you were out in the real world meeting people... can you agree your chance of meeting women would be significantly higher?

Church on Tuesday · 02-06-2019 2:27pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Let me try a different angle.

For every 1 female gamer, how many male gamers are there?

100? 200?

Perhaps this is a bad comparison, but a workmate asked me to go to a "Magic The Gathering" event. There was 1 female there. Perhaps 80 - 100 guys.

Even if you try to think of all the women you've ever known (mother, sister, work mate, college friends etc.), honestly what percentage of them were into gaming?

Not many, right?

Continue playing your games, but it's not going to help your love life. Even if we use this logic:

Instead of playing games, if you were out in the real world meeting people... can you agree your chance of meeting women would be significantly higher?

Firstly I don't play games myself; like I said only a few posts back I was chatting to a woman recently who gamed and apart from some good banter it ultimately went no where because her interests where different to mine; the gaming culture is a sub culture I'm just not interested in myself but I bet if OP was talking to her, they'd have met for a coffee.

What was the age profile of the event your workmate asked you along to if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 31. Loads of my mates GF/Wives are into gaming, be that causal gaming (not on a phone) or serious levels of gaming.

In other words, most have a console or some other device that they use in their downtime.

The OP would have plenty in common with them even on a basic level.

And yes, there are loads of women that are not into gaming, just like loads of women hate sport or hate jazz or museums or art galleries, the pub etc.

I think your ratio of gaming women to men may be a bit off and if anything fits into a certain stereotype of the typical gamer in times past.

OMM 0000 · 02-06-2019 2:29pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Firstly I don't play games myself; like I said only a few posts back I was chatting to a woman recently who gamed and apart from some good banter it ultimately went no where because her interests where different to mine; the gaming culture is a sub culture I'm just not interested in myself but I bet if OP was talking to her, they'd have met for a coffee.

What was the age profile of the event your workmate asked you along to if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 31. Loads of my mates GF/Wives are into gaming, be that causal gaming (not on a phone) or serious levels of gaming.

In other words, most have a console or some other device that they use in their downtime.

The OP would have plenty in common with them even on a basic level.

And yes, there are loads of women that are not into gaming, just like loads of women hate sport or hate jazz or museums or art galleries, the pub etc.

I think your ratio of gaming women to men may be a bit off and if anything fits into a certain stereotype of the typical gamer in times past.

Would you agree with this at least:

Instead of playing games, if you were out in the real world meeting people... can you agree your chance of meeting women would be significantly higher?

Church on Tuesday · 02-06-2019 2:38pm

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Would you agree with this at least:

Instead of playing games, if you were out in the real world meeting people... can you agree your chance of meeting women would be significantly higher?

That depends on what and where in the real world you find interesting.

I imagine that the OP does spend a fair amount of time in the real world for work other engagements etc, we all have to, I highly doubt the man is a recluse.

You can go along to any amount of gaming conventions and meetups/events with like minded people if you wish in real time; you went along to one yourself.

Again at the end of the day, it boils down to what your interested in. We can look at people who game like they are in a petri dish all day if we want but folk like what they like.

How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

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