Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Diageio_Man · 17-02-2014 7:49pm

*** *** **** is feeling sick.
''Id love to choke the person who created amino acids most vile thing iv ever tasted. Vomit !!!!''

This so called model comes out with so much crap, i really should de-friend her but the car crash comments are so worth having her around.

sullivlo · 17-02-2014 8:20pm

Diageio_Man wrote: »

*** *** **** is feeling sick.
''Id love to choke the person who created amino acids most vile thing iv ever tasted. Vomit !!!!''

This so called model comes out with so much crap, i really should de-friend her but the car crash comments are so worth having her around.

Created amino acids?! Brilliant.

I have hidden 90% of the headmelters in my newsfeed. I was sick of the "university of life" or "full time chef, cleaner and taxi driver".

Today I added a new person to my hidden list after they said:

"Finally managed to get "let go", no more jobsbridge for me, back to the dole and not having to get out of bed"
(That's the translation)

Dr Robotnik · 17-02-2014 8:51pm

sullivlo wrote: »

Created amino acids?! Brilliant.

I have hidden 90% of the headmelters in my newsfeed. I was sick of the "university of life" or "full time chef, cleaner and taxi driver".

Today I added a new person to my hidden list after they said:

"Finally managed to get "let go", no more jobsbridge for me, back to the dole and not having to get out of bed"
(That's the translation)

Brilliant. 'University of Life' always sets off the Moron Klaxon.

PopePalpatine · 17-02-2014 9:49pm

To be fair to them, they were probably on some bull**** Jobbridge scheme in which they were supposed to "learn" how to work behind the deli counter.

sinead88 · 19-02-2014 1:40am

"who wants to go on holiday too thailand next summer ? a dont care al be into anything that looks nice haha whatever happens in thailand will defo be stayin in thailand haha. fcuk cummin back with STD's al be creatin new ones over there like haha"

Delightful. Thailand will be waiting with bated breath for his arrival I'm sure.

yerwanthere123 · 19-02-2014 1:51am

^ Christ. I had to read that three times to figure out what the hell it was saying.

Muise... · 19-02-2014 1:53am

WellThen? wrote: »

Does anyone else get weirded out with people knowing somebody that died and covering their Facebook with pictures of that person for months afterwards??

I know it must help people, but I've seen it so much that it feels like it's not really people who were all that close, as the one's who were that close would not be on Facebook the same day talking about it....

Worse is when a facebook account holder dies, and their wall gets covered in maudlin sh1te and you think, she will HAUNT ye for that ye fake-sobbing retards.

Lightbulb Sun · 19-02-2014 2:44am

Muise... wrote: »

Worse is when a facebook account holder dies, and their wall gets covered in maudlin sh1te and you think, she will HAUNT ye for that ye fake-sobbing retards.

One of my worst nightmares is dying and someone setting up an RIP page for me. Even my dead self would be mortified.

RainyDay · 19-02-2014 11:21am

Muise... wrote: »

Worse is when a facebook account holder dies, and their wall gets covered in maudlin sh1te and you think, she will HAUNT ye for that ye fake-sobbing retards.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04Ser5wmPSA

Brian_Zeluz · 19-02-2014 12:07pm

^^^ oh boy, we haven't seen that before.

Ihatecuddles · 19-02-2014 12:34pm

That funny guy I'm basically stalking, yeah he's back

He posted this photo after going to the social welfare office.

Ihatecuddles · 20-02-2014 4:34am

:eek: Hope I dont end up in a strainghtner after posting this.

This guy is 30

here im sick of herein people talkin abt my page and wat I pu up I nvr pu up anything bou anyone bu meself so people wouldint talk abt me second time sumone said not 2 me bu 2 sumone elese wats swifty puin up on fb I pu up me life and how im tryin 2 btr meself so I could take away the bk talk bu sum people jus like 2 talk **** I didn't do yrs in prision 4 been a mouth so ge ur facts straight before u talk behind me bk no name bu I no who yous are if ya a problem inbox me and when im clean ill happlily give yea a strainghtner nottin btr 2 do tha talk bou me look at ur own live cheak all my statauses nvr menitioned anyones name nvr would so y ya care wat I rite bou me life **** ge ur own and keep ur unfounded views 2 urself im not goin 2 name cos don bu jus expect 2 wake up one nite wi me over sayin whos the mouth now aaahhh ****in ge ur own poxy lifes and stop tryin 2 pull me down when im tryin 2 btr meself yea

Also Starring LeVar Burton · 20-02-2014 4:46am

^My brain hurts from trying to read that. Is there an English translation?

Paddy Cow · 20-02-2014 5:02am

Also Starring LeVar Burton wrote: »

^My brain hurts from trying to read that. Is there an English translation?

Here, I'm sick of hearing people talking about my page and what I put up. I never put up anything about anyone but myself so people wouldn't talk about me. Second time someone said now to me about someone else saying "what's swifty putting up on facebook?". I put up my life and how I'm trying to better myself so I could take away the back talk. Some people just like to talk ****. I didn't do years in prison for being a mouth so get your facts straight before you talk behind my back. No names but I know who you are. If you have a problem inbox me and when I'm clean I'll happily give you a straightner.

Nothing better to do than talk about me? Look at your own life. Check all my statuses. I never mentioned anyones name. I never would so why do you care what I write about my life? **** Get your own and keep your unfounded views to yourself. I'm not gong to name them but just expect to wake up one night with me standing over saying "who's the mouth now?". Ahhhhh. ****ing get your own poxy lives and stop trying to pull me down when I'm trying to better myself. Yea.

TL:DR Someone is having a tantrum because people are talking behind his back about what he posts on facebook and he's all upset because he only talks about himself, so he feels people should not be gossiping about him and if they don't stop he will turn violent against them.

Also Starring LeVar Burton · 20-02-2014 5:13am

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Here, I'm sick of hearing people talking about my page and what I put up. I never put up anything about anyone but myself so people wouldn't talk about me. Second time someone said now to me about someone else saying "what's swifty putting up on facebook?". I put up my life and how I'm trying to better myself so I could take away the back talk. Some people just like to talk ****. I didn't do years in prison for being a mouth so get your facts straight before you talk behind my back. No names but I know who you are. If you have a problem inbox me and when I'm clean I'll happily give you a straightner.

Nothing better to do than talk about me? Look at your own life. Check all my statuses. I never mentioned anyones name. I never would so why do you care what I write about my life? **** Get your own and keep your unfounded views to yourself. I'm not gong to name them but just expect to wake up one night with me standing over saying "who's the mouth now?". Ahhhhh. ****ing get your own poxy lives and stop trying to pull me down when I'm trying to better myself. Yea.

TL:DR Someone is having a tantrum because people are talking behind his back about what he posts on facebook and he's all upset because he only talks about himself, so he feels people should not be gossiping about him and if they don't stop he will turn violent against them.

Thanks for that. I genuinely couldn't make head nor tail of the original post.
Sounds like an absolute nutjob - I never understood why people posted personal shít on their facebook page anyway (unless your facebook friends are literally your close circle of friends/family, which is rarely the case)

XxMCRxBabyxX · 20-02-2014 5:24am

For some reason I am particularly amused by the fact that he got the word unfounded in amongst all that gibberish. It seems too proper for the rest of it.

thesandeman · 20-02-2014 6:15am

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Here, I'm sick of hearing people talking about my page and what I put up. I never put up anything about anyone but myself so people wouldn't talk about me. Second time someone said now to me about someone else saying "what's swifty putting up on facebook?". I put up my life and how I'm trying to better myself so I could take away the back talk. Some people just like to talk ****. I didn't do years in prison for being a mouth so get your facts straight before you talk behind my back. No names but I know who you are. If you have a problem inbox me and when I'm clean I'll happily give you a straightner.

Nothing better to do than talk about me? Look at your own life. Check all my statuses. I never mentioned anyones name. I never would so why do you care what I write about my life? **** Get your own and keep your unfounded views to yourself. I'm not gong to name them but just expect to wake up one night with me standing over saying "who's the mouth now?". Ahhhhh. ****ing get your own poxy lives and stop trying to pull me down when I'm trying to better myself. Yea.

TL:DR Someone is having a tantrum because people are talking behind his back about what he posts on facebook and he's all upset because he only talks about himself, so he feels people should not be gossiping about him and if they don't stop he will turn violent against them.

I really must remember to keep scrolling when I see these statuses.
Just wasted seven minutes of my life trying to decipher it, and then it's all explained two posts down.
Not the first time it's happened either.

El Weirdo · 20-02-2014 10:59am

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

For some reason I am particularly amused by the fact that he got the word unfounded in amongst all that gibberish. It seems too proper for the rest of it.

I imagine he heard it in court.

padd b1975 · 20-02-2014 12:15pm

I swear im starvin a pot ov veg never smelt so gud i mean it ill turn in ta a veg id like to be a carrot der sexy

This muppet is about to become a parent...

EuskalHerria · 20-02-2014 3:25pm

padd b1975 wrote: »

i mean it ill turn in ta a veg

Almost there...

BNMC · 21-02-2014 9:50pm

"soo a scum bag cums and ribs my ohone i git fir xmass off my jazz she was carrying it so i said fuck dat nd ran after him put brake on buggie and rubbey tackeled d fucker to d ground lol i looked like a crazed mauneack had his arms behind his bk nd wasnt moven till i got my phone with my nee in his ribs lol he tink twice bout robben again lol scum was crazy doe haaaa i must be nuts lol"

I died a little inside.

NegativeCreep · 21-02-2014 9:56pm

BNMC wrote: »

"soo a scum bag cums and ribs my ohone i git fir xmass off my jazz she was carrying it so i said fuck dat nd ran after him put brake on buggie and rubbey tackeled d fucker to d ground lol i looked like a crazed mauneack had his arms behind his bk nd wasnt moven till i got my phone with my nee in his ribs lol he tink twice bout robben again lol scum was crazy doe haaaa i must be nuts lol"

I died a little inside.

One part of me thinks "fair play to him" but the rest of me thinks "kill yourself."

BNMC · 21-02-2014 10:17pm

It's a "lady".

Jazz is her sweet little darling baby Jasmine. This woman smokes 40 cigarettes a day, has an iPhone and drinks most nights in my local. She's never worked a day in her life. Pond life.

implausible · 21-02-2014 10:56pm

BNMC wrote: »

It's a "lady".

Jazz is her sweet little darling baby Jasmine. This woman smokes 40 cigarettes a day, has an iPhone and drinks most nights in my local. She's never worked a day in her life. Pond life.

That's a female?! Good of her to put the brakes on the buggy though...

Also Starring LeVar Burton · 21-02-2014 11:19pm

BNMC wrote: »

"soo a scum bag cums and ribs my ohone i git fir xmass off my jazz she was carrying it so i said fuck dat nd ran after him put brake on buggie and rubbey tackeled d fucker to d ground lol i looked like a crazed mauneack had his arms behind his bk nd wasnt moven till i got my phone with my nee in his ribs lol he tink twice bout robben again lol scum was crazy doe haaaa i must be nuts lol"

I died a little inside.

Do people genuinely write like this on facebook? It'd give me a migraine if there was shít like this in my newsfeed.
Was this woman never educated? Why would someone choose to write like this unless they never learned to read or write?
Ugh, anyway, I was silently rooting for the lad who nicked the phone off of her - abondon your child in a pram in order to save your phone? Who does that? Stay with the child!

rawn · 22-02-2014 12:28am

https://www.facebook.com/ghost.satan666/photos/a.397282713714227.1073741828.397276850381480/400979276677904/?type=1&theater

The girl who shared it (a mum of two) shared it saying "I highly doubt it hate this tripe/terrified not to share it pmsl"

Some of the comments under it are amazing.

shruikan2553 · 22-02-2014 12:59am

rawn wrote: »

https://www.facebook.com/ghost.satan666/photos/a.397282713714227.1073741828.397276850381480/400979276677904/?type=1&theater

The girl who shared it (a mum of two) shared it saying "I highly doubt it hate this tripe/terrified not to share it pmsl"

Some of the comments under it are amazing.

Anyone dead yet?

BNMC · 22-02-2014 1:37am

This is supposed to be Dumb/Great Facebook status thread.

Here's a great one.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bg94qaGCIAABRLd.jpg

WoollyRedHat · 22-02-2014 2:43am

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Anyone dead yet?

The way I see it, all those who have shared it, and it's a good bit, will most likely die down the road due to their own stupidity.

Wilberto · 22-02-2014 2:48am

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

The way I see it, all those who have shared it, and it's a good bit, will most likely die down the road due to their own stupidity.

The only reason I did't share it is because I thought that, by not doing so, there would be some possibility of a woman coming into my room!

:pac:

Reely · 23-02-2014 2:24pm

"I swear sum ppl make me sick on dis talkn abt people. Tink its abt tym ye opend ur eyes nd lukd at ur own ppls doors nt a gud sight. Tank god iv a beautiful clean hme nd clean kids dats al dat matters. No1 can throw a stone cause believe me it wil bounce bk. Nw ave a gud day"

"You no you ave a crazy child wen she gets a hammer and cracks al the window Rihanna again. Im not able bitch only 4 wat way she gonna be at 16"

Her other kids are named Kia, Lakyia, Tarina and Ashanti.

Reely · 23-02-2014 2:24pm

"I swear sum ppl make me sick on dis talkn abt people. Tink its abt tym ye opend ur eyes nd lukd at ur own ppls doors nt a gud sight. Tank god iv a beautiful clean hme nd clean kids dats al dat matters. No1 can throw a stone cause believe me it wil bounce bk. Nw ave a gud day"

"You no you ave a crazy child wen she gets a hammer and cracks al the window Rihanna again. Im not able bitch only 4 wat way she gonna be at 16"

Her other kids are named Kia, Lakyia, Tarina and Ashanti.

CarMe · 23-02-2014 3:40pm

Any1 no wer i can get Marlin Manrow wallpapper?

Napper Hawkins · 23-02-2014 4:24pm

Reely wrote: »

"I swear sum ppl make me sick on dis talkn abt people. Tink its abt tym ye opend ur eyes nd lukd at ur own ppls doors nt a gud sight. Tank god iv a beautiful clean hme nd clean kids dats al dat matters. No1 can throw a stone cause believe me it wil bounce bk. Nw ave a gud day"

"You no you ave a crazy child wen she gets a hammer and cracks al the window Rihanna again. Im not able bitch only 4 wat way she gonna be at 16"

Her other kids are named Kia, Lakyia, Tarina and Ashanti.

Really?

PopePalpatine · 23-02-2014 4:26pm

Reely wrote: »

"I swear sum ppl make me sick on dis talkn abt people. Tink its abt tym ye opend ur eyes nd lukd at ur own ppls doors nt a gud sight. Tank god iv a beautiful clean hme nd clean kids dats al dat matters. No1 can throw a stone cause believe me it wil bounce bk. Nw ave a gud day"

"You no you ave a crazy child wen she gets a hammer and cracks al the window Rihanna again. Im not able bitch only 4 wat way she gonna be at 16"

Her other kids are named Kia, Lakyia, Tarina and Ashanti.

Her next kid will be called Hyundai. :pac:

yerwanthere123 · 23-02-2014 4:37pm

Reely wrote: »

"I swear sum ppl make me sick on dis talkn abt people. Tink its abt tym ye opend ur eyes nd lukd at ur own ppls doors nt a gud sight. Tank god iv a beautiful clean hme nd clean kids dats al dat matters. No1 can throw a stone cause believe me it wil bounce bk. Nw ave a gud day"

"You no you ave a crazy child wen she gets a hammer and cracks al the window Rihanna again. Im not able bitch only 4 wat way she gonna be at 16"

Her other kids are named Kia, Lakyia, Tarina and Ashanti.

And not one of them named Shaniqua

Lisha · 23-02-2014 4:43pm

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

And not one of them named Shaniqua

Ah now that would be way too common you see

kunst nugget · 23-02-2014 5:47pm

CarMe wrote: »

Any1 no wer i can get Marlin Manrow wallpapper?

Whad typ of crazed mauneack wantz Marlin Manrow wallpapper?

Muise... · 23-02-2014 5:58pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Whad typ of crazed mauneack wantz Marlin Manrow wallpapper?

if u cant handel me at mi worst u sure as hell dont desserve me interyor daycore.

LisaLee · 24-02-2014 2:48pm

A new occupation to add to the collection: "Being a full time Auntie"

stop animal cruelty · 24-02-2014 5:51pm

Not really dumb but pointless!

"Huge HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY to my beautiful nephew today, see u soon cutie xxxxxx"

Is the nephew on fb or something? Whats more sad people have wrote happy birthday to the child.....do people not send birthday cards anymore :L

Pawwed Rig · 24-02-2014 5:55pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Whats more sad people have wrote happy birthday to the child.....do people not send birthday cards anymore :L

Because a 2 year old reads birthday cards?? :P

stop animal cruelty · 24-02-2014 6:02pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Because a 2 year old reads birthday cards?? :P

Something the mom can keep for him to look at when hes older! plus the cards are physical, he might like the pictures on them :pac:

IvyTheTerrible · 24-02-2014 6:20pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Not really dumb but pointless!

"Huge HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY to my beautiful nephew today, see u soon cutie xxxxxx"

Is the nephew on fb or something? Whats more sad people have wrote happy birthday to the child.....do people not send birthday cards anymore :L

I think I might be that child might be my son!

The message was for my benefit to be fair.

EuskalHerria · 24-02-2014 6:33pm

For anyone who can't see the picture: "She wrote to Nasa asking how to become an astronaut. They said women cannot be astronauts. So she became Secretary of State."

So as if to prove their point she didn't become an astronaut? Also it's put forward by unite women. They are promoting a women who is where she is because of who she was married to?

Muise... · 24-02-2014 6:36pm

EuskalHerria wrote: »

For anyone who can't see the picture: "She wrote to Nasa asking how to become an astronaut. They said women cannot be astronauts. So she became Secretary of State."

So as if to prove their point she didn't become an astronaut? Also it's put forward by unite women. They are promoting a women who is where she is because of who she was married to?

Also, Valentina Tereschkova.

This ill-informed preachy sh1t turns me into a right-wing misogynist misanthropic cnut. Well played, the man!

yerwanthere123 · 24-02-2014 8:56pm

Just seen someone upload pictures of a new tattoo he got. It reads "STRENGTH RESPECT HONOR" across his chest, collarbone to collarbone. Sublime.

extra gravy · 24-02-2014 8:57pm

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Just seen someone upload pictures of a new tattoo he got. It reads "STRENGTH RESPECT HONOR" across his chest, collarbone to collarbone. Sublime.

Is he American?

yerwanthere123 · 24-02-2014 8:59pm

No

stop animal cruelty · 24-02-2014 10:04pm

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

I think I might be that child might be my son! The message was for my benefit to be fair.

Oh **** :eek:

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

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