Stingy Wedding Presents & None at All

meisha · 25-08-2012 3:58pm

dont be sorry..thats life,I just wouldnt do it on them

MarieClaire78 · 25-08-2012 3:58pm

amdublin wrote: »

Honestly I would not mind. I want their prescence. Not their presents.

I was brought up by my parents to never expect or ask for a present. To be grateful with whatever the present was if you got one. And to value people not things.

I'm sorry you were brought up different to me. And I'm sorry that you value different things to me.

Indeed. And if you find this forum, the mere discussion of this issue v crass, you can choose not to post on it!!

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 3:58pm

meisha wrote: »

seriously how would you feel?? at the time would it bother you, aunts uncles and cousins you grew up with not even sending you a card...

They don't have to give you a card to wish you well.

A kiss, hug or few nice words at the wedding would do me.

MarieClaire78 · 25-08-2012 3:59pm

amdublin wrote: »

Yes and to these people: why not just sell tickets to your wedding. It's just the money you want after all.

Not at all, we had a v expensive wedding but had money to pay for it! We got some really gorgeous presents- loads of hotel vouchers for places we love etc...Delighted with them....your presumption is incorrect....

efb · 25-08-2012 4:01pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Indeed. And if you find this forum, the mere discussion of this issue v crass, you can choose not to post on it!!

So no dissenting opinions please! (or Karen Millen or Coast dresses!)

MarieClaire78 · 25-08-2012 4:01pm

Quorum wrote: »

Unless you are one half of the couple, you most certainly don't.

In this case I do.

Glendambo · 25-08-2012 4:01pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Indeed. And if you find this forum, the mere discussion of this issue v crass, you can choose not to post on it!!

Just like you choose to ignore posts that don't conform to your hideously materialistc view of life.

If the only worries you have are that people didn't spend enough money on you at your wedding a year ago then you live a very charmed life indeed.

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 4:01pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Hi All,
Views wanted please....

My hubbies and I got married last year, really pushed the boat out to make is a fab day for family and friends (6 courses, loads of champers, subsidised rates for the hotel). We wanted to make it a really celebratory day and it was. We had a fantastic time. Most of our family and guests were extremely generous in gifting but I am really annoyed by two female friends (one who I see/have coffee with every day at work) who have never given us a gift. Its just over a year since we married.

Shes not at all this way with all her friends and in fact spent part of this week telling me about a gift for her sisters birthday. I've been gritting teeth but it really is annoying me and genuinely getting to me. These two girls claim to be "close friends", there is no financial pressures in any of their lives yet they seems shameless re not having given us a gift. It was mentioned one in a "must bring it in" way months ago and has conveniently been forgotten.

I could never do this to someone and would be genuinely mortified- its just not how I'm brought up. We were always told not to have our hands hanging and our parents and family are very kind.

The colleague/friend one I don't see every day ( works in an office down the country)had come to me to ask a number of favours since the wedding which just feels cheeky.

And to top it off, another well to do friend had just dropped over a set of clearly "recycled form their own wedding" cheap crystal glasses. My hubbie and I gave them €300 for their wedding two years ago...... He let slip last week recently that they earn €160k between them and arent at all in financial pressure.....it just seems so mean ( their food /each cost €140 on the day and was lavish!)

I know money is not a barometer of friendship, but it really feels like it at the moment. My husband and I always err on the side of generosity with others but as my mother says "eaten bread is soon forgotten". This really has tainted my view of these 3 friends- and I can seem to reframe my friendship with them afterwards. I just dont feel they value us or our feelings, am I wrong to be so annoyed? Cant seem to get over this.

Are you friends with these people in order to get presents from them or to enjoy their company?

I can't believe that a year after your wedding you still remember who you didn't get presents from. Let it go......enjoy your married life with the hubby!

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:02pm

Diddler1977 wrote: »

They don't have to give you a card to wish you well.

A kiss, hug or few nice words at the wedding would do me.

No! Don't you understand! The only way to show your wishes for the happy couple is cold cash.

Get with the program!

Ps. I'm joking. What you have described sounds lovely and would do me.

Glendambo · 25-08-2012 4:02pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

In this case I do.

No you really, really don't.

The arrogance is astounding.

meisha · 25-08-2012 4:03pm

ok...thanks for the input

MarieClaire78 · 25-08-2012 4:04pm

Glendambo wrote: »

No you really, really don't.

The arrogance is astounding.

I helped them with some investments this year. I know their financial position. Its not arrogance its a fact!

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:07pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Not at all, we had a v expensive wedding but had money to pay for it! We got some really gorgeous presents- loads of hotel vouchers for places we love etc...Delighted with them....your presumption is incorrect....

It sounds to me like you have everything you want but you still want more?

Oh no sorry, just a "gesture" more. But the "gesture" must meet your exacting standards.

Seriously. A year ago! Your wedding was a year ago! You had a "v expensive wedding but had money to pay for it". Yet you are still thinking about some presents you didn't get.

MarieClaire78 · 25-08-2012 4:07pm

efb wrote: »

So no dissenting opinions please! (or Karen Millen or Coast dresses!)

LOL!! Just got the same post repeatedly from Am.....If its too crass for discussion as AM stated, then no need to participate!!

efb · 25-08-2012 4:07pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

I helped them with some investments this year. I know their financial position. Its not arrogance its a fact!

Do you have a percentile of their disposable income that would seem adequate as a gift???

efb · 25-08-2012 4:08pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

LOL!! Just got the same post repeatedly from Am.....If its too crass for discussion as AM stated, then no need to participate!!

FYI: There are two sides to a discussion

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 4:10pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

I helped them with some investments this year. I know their financial position. Its not arrogance its a fact!

Oh dear.

You had access to someone's financial information and you now use this knowledge in order to decide that the fact that you didn't get a wedding present from them was out of order.

This is wrong on so many levels and while not quite illegal I think the data protection commissioners might have a view on it.

daenerysstormborn3 · 25-08-2012 4:10pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Hi All,
Views wanted please....

My hubbies and I got married last year, really pushed the boat out to make is a fab day for family and friends (6 courses, loads of champers, subsidised rates for the hotel). We wanted to make it a really celebratory day and it was. We had a fantastic time. Most of our family and guests were extremely generous in gifting but I am really annoyed by two female friends (one who I see/have coffee with every day at work) who have never given us a gift. Its just over a year since we married.

Shes not at all this way with all her friends and in fact spent part of this week telling me about a gift for her sisters birthday. I've been gritting teeth but it really is annoying me and genuinely getting to me. These two girls claim to be "close friends", there is no financial pressures in any of their lives yet they seems shameless re not having given us a gift. It was mentioned one in a "must bring it in" way months ago and has conveniently been forgotten.

I could never do this to someone and would be genuinely mortified- its just not how I'm brought up. We were always told not to have our hands hanging and our parents and family are very kind.

The colleague/friend one I don't see every day ( works in an office down the country)had come to me to ask a number of favours since the wedding which just feels cheeky.

And to top it off, another well to do friend had just dropped over a set of clearly "recycled form their own wedding" cheap crystal glasses. My hubbie and I gave them €300 for their wedding two years ago...... He let slip last week recently that they earn €160k between them and arent at all in financial pressure.....it just seems so mean ( their food /each cost €140 on the day and was lavish!)

I know money is not a barometer of friendship, but it really feels like it at the moment. My husband and I always err on the side of generosity with others but as my mother says "eaten bread is soon forgotten". This really has tainted my view of these 3 friends- and I can seem to reframe my friendship with them afterwards. I just dont feel they value us or our feelings, am I wrong to be so annoyed? Cant seem to get over this.

I can't believe that this is a serious thread.

"really pushed the boat out to make is a fab day for family and friends (6 courses, loads of champers, subsidised rates for the hotel)" - I'm sure nobody actually asked you to do this so why do you feel that you should be compensated?

"The colleague/friend one I don't see every day ( works in an office down the country)had come to me to ask a number of favours since the wedding which just feels cheeky." - so you base your friendships on what you can get out of it?

"And to top it off, another well to do friend had just dropped over a set of clearly "recycled form their own wedding" cheap crystal glasses. My hubbie and I gave them €300 for their wedding two years ago" - so you only give to receive?

Yes you are wrong to be so annoyed. You invited people to your wedding to share the celebration of the start of your married life and you chose to spend the money that you did, nobody asked you to spend that money but the way you worded your post makes it seem like you want to be compensated for the "party".

I am genuinely mortified for you that this is how you view your friends.

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:10pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

I helped them with some investments this year. I know their financial position. Its not arrogance its a fact!

Lookit!

The fact that they did not spend money on you is not a sign that they do not value your friendship.

The fact that you are hurt that they did not spend money on you is a sign that you do not value theirs.

This thread makes me sad

MarieClaire78 · 25-08-2012 4:11pm

Diddler1977 wrote: »

Oh dear.

You had access to someone's financial information and you now use this knowledge in order to decide that the fact that you didn't get a wedding present from them was out of order.

This is wrong on so many levels and while not quite illegal I think the data protection commissioners might have a view on it.

Ridiculous, As I friend I advised them....no Date protection issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quorum · 25-08-2012 4:12pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

In this case I do.

So, you've seen bank statements, their monthly incomings and outgoings, etc., yes? Because this is the only way you would know.

Glendambo · 25-08-2012 4:14pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Ridiculous, As I friend I advised them

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 4:14pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Ridiculous, As I friend I advised them....no Date protection issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice friend. "I'll give you advice but I'll also note what order your financials are in order to rate whether you give an appropriate present for my wedding"

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:17pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Ridiculous, As I friend I advised them....no Date protection issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well as a friend stop harping on that they gave you a present you didn't like.

(when you sound like you don't actually even need anything)

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:24pm

meisha wrote: »

dont be sorry..thats life,I just wouldnt do it on them

No I really am sorry.

I would not do it to them. But I would not deride someone if they did it to me.

I was not brought up that way.

UDP · 25-08-2012 4:25pm

Nothing worse that people with a sense of entitlement.

I think you should definitely tell your "friends" what you really think of the situation and see if they still want to be "friends" with you. Why would you pretend to them that you are someone that you are not? What type of friendship is that?

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 4:29pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Hi All,
Views wanted please....

My hubbies and I got married last year, really pushed the boat out to make is a fab day for family and friends (6 courses, loads of champers, subsidised rates for the hotel). We wanted to make it a really celebratory day and it was. We had a fantastic time. Most of our family and guests were extremely generous in gifting but I am really annoyed by two female friends (one who I see/have coffee with every day at work) who have never given us a gift. Its just over a year since we married.

Shes not at all this way with all her friends and in fact spent part of this week telling me about a gift for her sisters birthday. I've been gritting teeth but it really is annoying me and genuinely getting to me. These two girls claim to be "close friends", there is no financial pressures in any of their lives yet they seems shameless re not having given us a gift. It was mentioned one in a "must bring it in" way months ago and has conveniently been forgotten.

I could never do this to someone and would be genuinely mortified- its just not how I'm brought up. We were always told not to have our hands hanging and our parents and family are very kind.

The colleague/friend one I don't see every day ( works in an office down the country)had come to me to ask a number of favours since the wedding which just feels cheeky.

And to top it off, another well to do friend had just dropped over a set of clearly "recycled form their own wedding" cheap crystal glasses. My hubbie and I gave them €300 for their wedding two years ago...... He let slip last week recently that they earn €160k between them and arent at all in financial pressure.....it just seems so mean ( their food /each cost €140 on the day and was lavish!)

I know money is not a barometer of friendship, but it really feels like it at the moment. My husband and I always err on the side of generosity with others but as my mother says "eaten bread is soon forgotten". This really has tainted my view of these 3 friends- and I can seem to reframe my friendship with them afterwards. I just dont feel they value us or our feelings, am I wrong to be so annoyed? Cant seem to get over this.

We were told to never expect a present.

meisha · 25-08-2012 4:31pm

amdublin wrote: »

No I really am sorry.

I would not do it to them. But I would not deride someone if they did it to me.

I was not brought up that way.

good for you

i have no hard feelings towards them..it was ages ago but at the time I was a little upset purely because I would never do it,but I have learned we are all different and think differently and the people I thought would give a gift did not I know now that its not important I have a happy relationship and we had a super day so thats all that counts now..

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:34pm

Diddler1977 wrote: »

We were told to never expect a present.

I was told both. So while I'd never not give a gift (whether big or small), I'd never expect one. And if I was given one, whatever it was, I'd accept it graciously.

But honestly, hands on heart, for my wedding I just want people to be there celebrating, being happy, enjoying the day. After that what more could you really want or need.

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 4:34pm

meisha wrote: »

good for you
i have no hard feelings towards them..it was ages ago but at the time I was a little upset purely because I would never do it,but I have learned we are all different and think differently and the people I thought would give a gift did not I know now that its not important I have a happy relationship and we had a super day so thats all that counts now..

So true - gifts come in many forms. I would always rather someone's presence over a present.

For me it is a gift to have my family and friends around me in good health and being able to share in happy celebrations such as weddings

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:36pm

meisha wrote: »

good for you
i have no hard feelings towards them..it was ages ago but at the time I was a little upset purely because I would never do it,but I have learned we are all different and think differently and the people I thought would give a gift did not I know now that its not important I have a happy relationship and we had a super day so thats all that counts now..

Aww I'm happy for you that you realise that.

You are right. The gift really is not important.

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:38pm

Diddler1977 wrote: »

For me it is a gift to have my family and friends around me in good health and being able to share in happy celebrations such as weddings

Well said.

For me, a year after my wedding it is the memories that are important not the gifts.

The_Honeybadger · 25-08-2012 4:39pm

Got married a few years back and had a similar experience, lots of friends and relatives gave us nothing which surprised me a bit. I planned for the day without cards however, and didn't keep a list of who gave us what or anything like that. I just treated any cash gifts we got as a bonus, and not a right. My wife had a family of relatives on her side show up, six of them, all adults with jobs and not one of them gave us a cent or even a token gift. Some people are just like that and things are very tight in many households nowadays so I don't think it's fair to expect a cash gift from all your guests. That said, I had plenty of fairly well heeled guests at my wedding who chose not to give us anything despite being well able to afford to do so, I'm not holding it against them in any way but it's not something I would do. If I couldn't afford to give a gift at a wedding I would probably make an excuse and not attend.

UDP · 25-08-2012 4:42pm

mickeyk wrote: »

Got married a few years back and had a similar experience, lots of friends and relatives gave us nothing which surprised me a bit. I planned for the day without cards however, and didn't keep a list of who gave us what or anything like that. I just treated any cash gifts we got as a bonus, and not a right. My wife had a family of relatives on her side show up, six of them, all adults with jobs and not one of them gave us a cent or even a token gift. Some people are just like that and things are very tight in many households nowadays so I don't think it's fair to expect a cash gift from all your guests. That said, I had plenty of fairly well heeled guests at my wedding who chose not to give us anything despite being well able to afford to do so, I'm not holding it against them in any way but it's not something I would do. If I couldn't afford to give a gift at a wedding I would probably make an excuse and not attend.

Does not compute... How do you know who gave what if you did not make a list?

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 4:42pm

mickeyk wrote: »

Got married a few years back and had a similar experience, lots of friends and relatives gave us nothing which surprised me a bit. I planned for the day without cards however, and didn't keep a list of who gave us what or anything like that. I just treated any cash gifts we got as a bonus, and not a right. My wife had a family of relatives on her side show up, six of them, all adults with jobs and not one of them gave us a cent or even a token gift. Some people are just like that and things are very tight in many households nowadays so I don't think it's fair to expect a cash gift from all your guests. That said, I had plenty of fairly well heeled guests at my wedding who chose not to give us anything despite being well able to afford to do so, I'm not holding it against them in any way but it's not something I would do. If I couldn't afford to give a gift at a wedding I would probably make an excuse and not attend.

Well that is entirely your choice. But I think most people would prefer to see you at their wedding - with or without a present. They invited you because they wanted you there with them to celebrate their special day. They didn't invite you to get a present. Otherwise they would have sold tickets for the event ;-)

amdublin · 25-08-2012 4:44pm

mickeyk wrote: »

Got married a few years back and had a similar experience, lots of friends and relatives gave us nothing which surprised me a bit. I planned for the day without cards however, and didn't keep a list of who gave us what or anything like that. I just treated any cash gifts we got as a bonus, and not a right. My wife had a family of relatives on her side show up, six of them, all adults with jobs and not one of them gave us a cent or even a token gift. Some people are just like that and things are very tight in many households nowadays so I don't think it's fair to expect a cash gift from all your guests. That said, I had plenty of fairly well heeled guests at my wedding who chose not to give us anything despite being well able to afford to do so, I'm not holding it against them in any way but it's not something I would do. If I couldn't afford to give a gift at a wedding I would probably make an excuse and not attend.

But, but, but if the well heeled guests had done that then they would not be at your wedding??

Did you invite them for their presence or their presents?

UDP · 25-08-2012 4:44pm

Diddler1977 wrote: »

Well that is entirely your choice. But I think most people would prefer to see you at their wedding - with or without a present. They invited you because they wanted you their with them to celebrate their special day. They didn't invite you to get a present. Otherwise they would have sold tickets for the event ;-)

It seems that might not always be the case according to this thread. Maybe people that have a sense of entitlement should make that clear in their invitations so that potential guests may make an informed decision of whether to attend or not?

Kat1170 · 25-08-2012 4:45pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

Thanks and sorry to hear about your tough situation, hope life is good now. I completely get how in the middle of big life stuff this could be overlooked by anyone ( myself included) but meeting this one friend every day means im a constant reminder! I dont think I could ever bring it up ( in fact another friend at work, one day loudly thanked me for the lovely thank you card in front of the other girl and I nearly died) I was far more embarassed! I couldnt ever bring myself to say it but at the same time -youre right, its festering! Best to chalk down as a life lesson I guess............... I''m just really disappointed in people I thought more of! x

Not so embarrassed that you didn't talk about it behind their back, how else would anyone know about it.

Shallower than a spoonful of water :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

The_Honeybadger · 25-08-2012 4:48pm

UDP wrote: »

Does not compute... How do you know who gave what if you did not make a list?

Eh, because I opened the cards we did get. I have seen others make full lists of who attended thie receptions and writing in who gave them what beside the names, I didn't take it to that level, but have a good idea who gave us nothing, we also got some cards with nothing in them, fair enough, their choice, i'm not complaining, just sharing my experience with the op.

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 4:48pm

UDP wrote: »

It seems that might not always be the case according to this thread. Maybe people that have a sense of entitlement should make that clear in their invitations so that potential guests may make an informed decision of whether to attend or not?

True. If a year later they are still going to concern themselves over unreceived presents they should probably have noted on the invite that guests coming empty handed will not be tolerated. ;-)

The_Honeybadger · 25-08-2012 4:51pm

amdublin wrote: »

But, but, but if the well heeled guests had done that then they would not be at your wedding??

Did you invite them for their presence or their presents?

WTF? If you can make sense of that and repost I'll try and respond

I invited people to celebrate the day and not for presents btw

Astala · 25-08-2012 4:55pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

I'd never give a clearly recycled wedding gift or pass on a gift to anyone. I'd make time and effort to choose one that suited the couple..I think thats the spirit of gift giving..I think its really tacky to pass on something unloved........ knowing someone you have made a big effort for in the past ( travelling for a wedding and giving a large gift), giving you a cheap recycled glasses set is disappointing.....can pretend I feel otherwise. You say petty, i say upsetting, hurtful, thoughtless, and in their case, a bit mean as they could well afford it.....

Wow! You seem seriously obsessed about these crystal glasses. I would be very grateful if I received them as a gift, and HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW THAT THEY WERE AN UNWANTED GIFT?!?! Did they have some left-over wine at the bottom of them? You're making assumptions which is a stark characteristic of your thinking that I have noticed in your posts. Maybe your 'FRIEND' forgot about the wedding gift-NEWSFLASH: the World does not revolve around you or your year-old wedding.

As others have said, you sound materialistic and superficial but moreover, anybody who spends as much as you on one day disgusts me.

Focus on your marriage now, forget about your hang-ups.

The_Honeybadger · 25-08-2012 5:05pm

Diddler1977 wrote: »

mickeyk wrote: »

Got married a few years back and had a similar experience, lots of friends and relatives gave us nothing which surprised me a bit. I planned for the day without cards however, and didn't keep a list of who gave us what or anything like that. I just treated any cash gifts we got as a bonus, and not a right. My wife had a family of relatives on her side show up, six of them, all adults with jobs and not one of them gave us a cent or even a token gift. Some people are just like that and things are very tight in many households nowadays so I don't think it's fair to expect a cash gift from all your guests. That said, I had plenty of fairly well heeled guests at my wedding who chose not to give us anything despite being well able to afford to do so, I'm not holding it against them in any way but it's not something I would do. If I couldn't afford to give a gift at a wedding I would probably make an excuse and not attend.

Well that is entirely your choice. But I think most people would prefer to see you at their wedding - with or without a present. They invited you because they wanted you there with them to celebrate their special day. They didn't invite you to get a present. Otherwise they would have sold tickets for the event ;-)

Listen the card giving thing has become ingrained in the wedding tradition in this country like it or not, I didn't invent it and personally don't agree with it much either. Fact is I have seen friends and family take great offence to people not giving them a card, talking behind their back etc etc. That is probably the most reason I said what I said. It's easy for you to sit behind your keyboard anonymously and judge others, I didn't expect a gift from everybody, never said I did so get off your moral high horse please.

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 5:08pm

mickeyk wrote: »

Listen the card giving thing has become ingrained in the wedding tradition in this country like it or not, I didn't invent it and personally don't agree with it much either. Fact is I have seen friends and family take great offence to people not giving them a card, talking behind their back etc etc. That is probably the most reason I said what I said. It's easy for you to sit behind your keyboard anonymously and judge others, I didn't expect a gift from everybody, never said I did so get off your moral high horse please.

It's not my moral high horse. It's what I believe.

Personally I would always bring a gift or a card to any event I attend but I would never judge someone who didn't.

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 5:09pm

mickeyk wrote: »

Listen the card giving thing has become ingrained in the wedding tradition in this country like it or not, I didn't invent it and personally don't agree with it much either. Fact is I have seen friends and family take great offence to people not giving them a card, talking behind their back etc etc. That is probably the most reason I said what I said. It's easy for you to sit behind your keyboard anonymously and judge others, I didn't expect a gift from everybody, never said I did so get off your moral high horse please.

Shame on them

The_Honeybadger · 25-08-2012 5:12pm

Diddler1977 wrote: »

mickeyk wrote: »

Listen the card giving thing has become ingrained in the wedding tradition in this country like it or not, I didn't invent it and personally don't agree with it much either. Fact is I have seen friends and family take great offence to people not giving them a card, talking behind their back etc etc. That is probably the most reason I said what I said. It's easy for you to sit behind your keyboard anonymously and judge others, I didn't expect a gift from everybody, never said I did so get off your moral high horse please.

It's not my moral high horse. It's what I believe.

Personally I would always bring a gift or a card to any event I attend but I would never judge someone who didn't.

Grand, it's just you posted a snooty response to my op. I wasn't judging anybody who didn't give a gift, and personally I think couples feel under pressure to hold a big expensive do in expectation of all the cards they will get and don't agree that's right. Sorry if my last post was ott!

ynul31f47k6b59 · 25-08-2012 5:13pm

Here, OP, I was trying to not be mean to you but this thread has taken an awful nasty turn, just because you think you know the financial situation of supposed friends, this warrants an extra extra EXTRA big cash sum for you because YOU decided to get married, YOU decided to give them a big gift, YOU decided to invite them to share your day and YOU decided to spend a load of money on YOUR wedding?

Because that's what I've just read.

Ungrateful [insert whichever swear word that won't get me banned].

The_Honeybadger · 25-08-2012 5:16pm

Diddler1977 wrote: »

mickeyk wrote: »

Listen the card giving thing has become ingrained in the wedding tradition in this country like it or not, I didn't invent it and personally don't agree with it much either. Fact is I have seen friends and family take great offence to people not giving them a card, talking behind their back etc etc. That is probably the most reason I said what I said. It's easy for you to sit behind your keyboard anonymously and judge others, I didn't expect a gift from everybody, never said I did so get off your moral high horse please.

Shame on them

Indeed, but that's the expectation these days, people don't have the money anymore for this type of nonsense and personally I hope it changes. The whole wedding gift topic prompts alot of debate on radio shows etc and it is clearly something that people are concerned with, rightly or wrongly.

Diddler1977 · 25-08-2012 5:16pm

MarieClaire78 wrote: »

I helped them with some investments this year. I know their financial position. Its not arrogance its a fact!

shanna83 wrote: »

Here, OP, I was trying to not be mean to you but this thread has taken an awful nasty turn, just because you think you know the financial situation of supposed friends, this warrants an extra extra EXTRA big cash sum for you because YOU decided to get married, YOU decided to give them a big gift, YOU decided to invite them to share your day and YOU decided to spend a load of money on YOUR wedding?

Because that's what I've just read.

Ungrateful [insert whichever swear word that won't get me banned].

Yes that is indeed what you read. Quite incredible isn't it that someone would actually admit to this on a public forum!

Shocking!

woodchuck · 25-08-2012 5:32pm

I haven't read the whole 7 pages... but my general stance on these matters is that of course it's good manners to give a card/gift, but it's terrible manners to EXPECT one! And it's awfully mean spirited to hold a grudge about it.

Someone might genuinely intent to give a belated wedding gift, but naturally these things can slip through the cracks. We all have our own lives/issues to deal with and remembering to get someone a gift isn't a top priority. Especially if you consider how many weddings/christenings/birthdays/leaving dos etc everyone has to attend in a year. Of course some of these get over looked and forgotten about. It may be that it's accidental. It may be due to struggling finances. But WHO CARES!?! Let it go OP...

Stingy Wedding Presents & None at All

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