Ruining a wedding

Mister Vain wrote: »

Speeches should be banned from weddings. I've yet to hear one that didn't make me cringe.

A time limit would work better I think.
I wrote a little poem that was about 2 minutes for one of my best mates and people loved it.
The issue is they can literally go on for hours...zzz

Royale with Cheese wrote: »

I'm getting married next week, with a grand total of six guests. Fúcking delighted about it to be honest, even before reading this thread :-)

best of luck, perfect wedding in my eyes

Royale with Cheese wrote:

I'm getting married next week, with a grand total of six guests. Fúcking delighted about it to be honest, even before reading this thread :-)

Did the same at the end of February.. You'll have a great day. We made it our own.. Hoping to have the reception later this year. Enjoy it

gmisk wrote: »

A time limit would work better I think.
I wrote a little poem that was about 2 minutes for one of my best mates and people loved it.
The issue is they can literally go on for hours...zzz

I was at a wedding where some guy spent about 40 mins just talking about the history of the hotel. It's the oldest hotel in Ireland apparently. Who gives a fook.

Royale with Cheese wrote: »

I'm getting married next week, with a grand total of six guests. Fúcking delighted about it to be honest, even before reading this thread :-)

I did something very similar, worked out perfectly.
It should be all about what makes you as a couple happy.

Congratulations and have a lovely time.

gmisk wrote: »

I got married in registry office two witnesses, one other friend came along to take pictures, lovely posh dinner in shanahans, cocktails booked in nice hotel after that. Went to a gig that night. Stayed in the marker for it all day or two before and after.
We headed away on small holiday to Vienna two days after.
Zero stress, had a brilliant day, got to splash on nice suits, meals the whole time, hotel etc.

Only issue was covid put the cabosh on our big actual official honeymoon to Italy, but hey hopefully next year! We still have credit in the hotel at lake gardai.

That's what you want. I don't think I could deal with the stress of being a groom or best man at a traditional wedding.

Never been to a wedding that was ruined.

I once ended up beside some guy I barely knew, he spent most of the meal talking about people he knew that had either died or contracted some illness. A total misery-junkie.

'It's a friend's wedding - cheer up you miserable prick', is what I thought to myself.

I was glad when the meal/speeches were over and I could get away from him.

facehugger99 wrote: »

Never been to a wedding that was ruined.

I once ended up beside some guy I barely knew, he spent most of the meal talking about people he knew that had either died or contracted some illness. A total misery-junkie.

'It's a friend's wedding - cheer up you miserable prick', is what I thought to myself.

I was glad when the meal/speeches were over and I could get away from him.

You sat beside Joe Duffy?!

The first wedding I went to was quite a young wedding, bride and groom both early 20s, youngish crowd at the wedding, best man was early 20s and I'd say the bridesmaid was still a teenager. People were getting fairly drunk and it just had a bit of a hectic feeling in general. Best man got up to make his speech and he was locked. He cracked a few slightly inappropriate jokes throughout but then he said something about the bride being 'sloppy seconds' as it was the best man who was going out with her first before she started seeing the groom. It didn't ruin the wedding but there was a bit of a weird feeling in the room that they just wanted the speeches to end ASAP.

There was been three weddings in my family (myself and 2 sisters) and in three different countries. Absolutely eff all drama.

The biggest drama was my 10 year old nephew gorging on sweets and puking into a jug on the table. Rock and roll..

Oh yeah and I snogged a random girl the night before my wedding out late with the lads...they physically dragged me away back to the hotel before I escalated matters. Waking up the morning of my wedding next to a one night stand would have been bad form..in my defence she was absolutely stunning.

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

In fairness, he may have had a point?

All our home videos from the 1990s involve kids zooming-in on a pair of an aunt's breasts (???) or someone's arse, and the sound of howling laughter. Even now when i find an old tape, I think to myself "oh this will probably be just a video of the aunts' tits" (or whatever). So bizarre.

Can you send them onto me please :pac:

..from behind the bar

The wedding band went to the wrong hotel which was a 2.5 hour drive away. Luckily uncle Tommy brought in his guitar to break the silence and was doing well. A bit of Neil Diamond and all that. As time was ticking on, encouraged by the guests, they decided to do the first dance. Unfortunately this startled Tommy a bit and he went to his safe place and passionately sang a Wolfe Tones famine ballad. The groom was no dancer so they had gone for dance lessons and perfected a waltz. I am guessing that the dance teacher had never used a Wolfe Tones ballad in any of the classes. Queue the most awkward 8 minutes of his life.
Usually other guests would get up to dance with them and save their blushes but it was a challenge that not even the bridemaids were willing to take on.
For the punch line, after the 16 verses of starvation, potatoes, beatings and death, we decided it was a good time to bring out the evening sandwiches and cocktail sausages. Band arrived and brought it back on track. Poor auld groom was still shook 5 hours later in the residents bar as he begged for the videos of the first dance to be deleted.

Wasn't a guest at the wedding, but a few years ago we were staying in a large hotel where a wedding was on the same day. Bank holiday weekend and the wedding was the Saturday and they had also booked a day 2 for the Sunday with BBQ outside etc.

When we went for breakfast on the Sunday morning, there were groups in tears in the hotel reception, in the breakfast room etc.
Turns out that overnight one of the guests had wandered out into the road on his way back to a B&B, and been killed by a passing car.

We'd our dinner booked in the hotel for that night, and some of the wedding guests who had planned to stay for the day 2 were still there. Really sombre mood in the hotel for the day

I went to a wedding about 15 years ago. Groom was a bit of a lad. As part of his speech he asked all the ladies he'd shagged to drop up copies of keys to his front door to the top table. About 10 or so ladies stood up, went up kissed him on the cheek and handed him a door key. Groom ended up having an affair soon after they were married an they were separated soon after.

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Wow. Classy joke. And weren't the women even worse that they went along with it🙈🙈

And did the Groom end up back with one of them after the separation I wonder...

Wanderer78 wrote: »

best of luck, perfect wedding in my eyes

Perfect funeral too... Less chance for bull****.

The best tactic is to get the speeches over and done with before the meal start.

At least then the speakers can actually enjoy the food and relax.

partyguinness wrote: »

The best tactic is to get the speeches over and done with before the meal start.

At least then the speakers can actually enjoy the food and relax.

Also helps to keep the speeches shorter, as hotel will usually impose a time limit for the food

One way to ruin a wedding is to have multiple multiple people giving speeches. Groom, father in law , best man then sit the feck down.

As someone who has made it through my own wedding (somehow) without incident, this is a great thread

TheBoyConor wrote: »

I agree with you but I was more getting at that he could be angry or upset of course, and he should be, but it's it not a bit dramatic and theatrical to be wailing and bawling to the extent that the whole church could hear it through the closed for of the sacristy?
Emotions can be had but they don't have to buy theatrical to be expressed.

1) It's a church, so it's likely to be very quiet. Especially with everyone waiting with baited breath to see what's happening. Therefore much easier to hear what's happening.

2) It sounds like it was a proper bombshell for the groom... in which case, he may have been unable to control his reaction.
If you've seen someone receive horrendous news (unexpected death, medical diagnosis, etc), you'll see they cannot control their reaction, nor do they really care in that moment.

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

God, no. No offence, P, but that is a terrible idea. The guests have been in a church, or service, hanging around a hotel bar with only liquid “refreshments”, if you have the speeches before the food you’re going to have some very angry, or “hangry”, people on your hands.

Speeches can go before dessert but not before the meal.

I hear what you are saying, E. But that is the point.

Another aspect to consider following on from your valid observation is that if some hero Groom or Bestman wants to rabbit on for ages he will soon enough pick up the on the ever darkening mood in the room and the sounds of rumbling stomachs- the speeches will wrap up quick enough.

I'll admit- it is a dangerous tactic.

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

God, no. No offence, P, but that is a terrible idea. The guests have been in a church, or service, hanging around a hotel bar with only liquid “refreshments”, if you have the speeches before the food you’re going to have some very angry, or “hangry”, people on your hands.

Speeches can go before dessert but not before the meal.

I was at a wedding a few years ago where they did this, and 6 separate people gave speeches for a total of 2 hours. I'm not exaggerating there, it was actually that long. I, and many others I'm sure, were furious. It's completely obnoxious and lacking in any self awareness.