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Ruining a wedding

cena

Has anyone here ruined a wedding or been to a wedding that was ruined? Let us say, someone has stood up during the mass service and said that this person should not marry him or she.

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EmmetSpiceland

partyguinness wrote: »

The best tactic is to get the speeches over and done with before the meal start.

At least then the speakers can actually enjoy the food and relax.

God, no. No offence, P, but that is a terrible idea. The guests have been in a church, or service, hanging around a hotel bar with only liquid “refreshments”, if you have the speeches before the food you’re going to have some very angry, or “hangry”, people on your hands.

Speeches can go before dessert but not before the meal.

onrail

As someone who has made it through my own wedding (somehow) without incident, this is a great thread

TheBoyConor

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

Off-topic, but had to address this.

It's absolute nonsense, expecting men to just "take it on the chin and keep yourself together." Men experience emotions too, and I'd be more surprised if a groom who had been stood up on the day, just blankly accepted it. It's HEALTHY to express what you're feeling, especially in a horrible situation like that.

I think you might want to take a look at your aversion to male expressions of emotion, and stop stigmatising it for others.

I agree with you but I was more getting at that he could be angry or upset of course, and he should be, but it's it not a bit dramatic and theatrical to be wailing and bawling to the extent that the whole church could hear it through the closed for of the sacristy?
Emotions can be had but they don't have to buy theatrical to be expressed.

Jimmy Bottlehead

TheBoyConor wrote: »

I agree with you but I was more getting at that he could be angry or upset of course, and he should be, but it's it not a bit dramatic and theatrical to be wailing and bawling to the extent that the whole church could hear it through the closed for of the sacristy?
Emotions can be had but they don't have to buy theatrical to be expressed.

1) It's a church, so it's likely to be very quiet. Especially with everyone waiting with baited breath to see what's happening. Therefore much easier to hear what's happening.

2) It sounds like it was a proper bombshell for the groom... in which case, he may have been unable to control his reaction.
If you've seen someone receive horrendous news (unexpected death, medical diagnosis, etc), you'll see they cannot control their reaction, nor do they really care in that moment.

SineadSpears

no ruined wedding tales, but I did collapse outside the church at a family members wedding (I had pneumonia) so missed the whole wedding.

And an awkward moment at a friends wedding when the registrar was saying her bit about how many years the couple had been together to bring them to this lovely moment(getting married).

The happy couple had been together 9months

partyguinness

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

God, no. No offence, P, but that is a terrible idea. The guests have been in a church, or service, hanging around a hotel bar with only liquid “refreshments”, if you have the speeches before the food you’re going to have some very angry, or “hangry”, people on your hands.

Speeches can go before dessert but not before the meal.

I hear what you are saying, E. But that is the point.

Another aspect to consider following on from your valid observation is that if some hero Groom or Bestman wants to rabbit on for ages he will soon enough pick up the on the ever darkening mood in the room and the sounds of rumbling stomachs- the speeches will wrap up quick enough.

I'll admit- it is a dangerous tactic.

Porklife

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

1) It's a church, so it's likely to be very quiet. Especially with everyone waiting with baited breath to see what's happening. Therefore much easier to hear what's happening.

2) It sounds like it was a proper bombshell for the groom... in which case, he may have been unable to control his reaction.
If you've seen someone receive horrendous news (unexpected death, medical diagnosis, etc), you'll see they cannot control their reaction, nor do they really care in that moment.

Not to veer off topic but I completely agree with this. In certain situations emotions can overcome us like a wave and we're not thinking oh I better keep it down and 'man up'. Seeing the coffin of a loved one being walked up the aisle for example or your bride to be and apparent love of your life abandoning you at the top of one being another!

Royale with Cheese

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

God, no. No offence, P, but that is a terrible idea. The guests have been in a church, or service, hanging around a hotel bar with only liquid “refreshments”, if you have the speeches before the food you’re going to have some very angry, or “hangry”, people on your hands.

Speeches can go before dessert but not before the meal.

I was at a wedding a few years ago where they did this, and 6 separate people gave speeches for a total of 2 hours. I'm not exaggerating there, it was actually that long. I, and many others I'm sure, were furious. It's completely obnoxious and lacking in any self awareness.

pgj2015

I heard of a weddings where the dad in his speech shouted Tiocfaidh ár lá.

Necro

Not really on the level of some of these stories but my own best man had a bit of a mare.

One of the lads gave him a really great line for the speech - 'We all knew Necro would be the first to ask someone to marry him, but we never expected her to say yes!'

Witty enough, I thought anyways.

So come the speeches the loon is nervous as feck and blurts out this line as his opening words...

'We all knew Necro would be the first to ask someone to marry him, but who the fcuk thought she would say yes!'

Wouldn't be so bad... but for the prim and proper grandparents on the closest table to him. Nobody expected the outburst of expletives so it sort of silenced the room... and went down like a lead balloon.

To be fair he tried to recover but he had lost the crowd with his first line... I still cringe thinking of it :pac:

partyguinness

Royale with Cheese wrote: »

I was at a wedding a few years ago where they did this, and 6 separate people gave speeches for a total of 2 hours. I'm not exaggerating there, it was actually that long. I, and many others I'm sure, were furious. It's completely obnoxious and lacking in any self awareness.

Ah ****....2 hours is outrageous.

My wedding had no church element and we had the speeches beforehand at my Bestman's request. No problem. Only 5 mintues in length for 4 of us each. Other guests that day who went on to get married actually did the same after being at our wedding.

Let's be honest...nobody gives a fcuk about the speeches and most didnt even care about the church ceremony for that matter- it is endured.

Eggs For Dinner

Speeches at my son's wedding were before the meal. 4 speeches (1 via video link) done and dusted in 25 minutes and everyone could relax for the rest of the day

Toots

I was at a wedding where they did the speeches with the welcome drinks at the hotel. Twas a fierce posh affair in this castle with a big foyer and a massive fireplace. It was winter and pouring outside so it was a kinda natural gathering place and the relevant parties stood up in front of the fire and made the speeches while everyone else had tea/coffee/mulled wine and sambos.

It actually worked out really well in that instance but probably wouldn't suit every scenario. My aunt used to work in events at a hotel and they used to hate when couples did the speeches before the meal because they'd almost always run over.

[Deleted User]

Great thread!
Some dodgy characters out there lads...

Anyway mine is not ruin a wedding but could of had the potential too..
So an ex of mine called me every odd day for 2 years to ask if there was any chance we could get back together, the last time he called me was on the morning of his wedding, to a traveller girl. Poor girl.

Another wedding some friends of my husbands sent us an invite to a lovely spot in the west, quite rural so accommodation was needed. 'invited to celebrate wedding of... ' was the words on the invite.
Got there with all our other pals to be lead out to the back area where they served cocktail sausages and pizza. (not enough to go around), no drinks reception.
Turns out they had a quieter meal with 20 family etc after the early church sermon, and the 150 guests that were invited along with us was in fact the afters. 6 of us including one pregnant woman had to slip out for a meal in the restaurant as we were starved! And they walked by unashamed to see us there eating!!
No guessing why it was nicknamed 'the fundraiser' after.

My own wedding 11 years ago had 14 guests including me and the OH..
Meal in hotel and drinks dancing after to band..
Best wedding ever.. Could never understand these big shindigs.
Well renew the vows when when can travel again with the kids for the crack!

Eggs For Dinner

My wedding
Alcoholic priest went on a bender the week before and had to be brought to the church to do the ceremony. Went back to bed straight after
My now brother in law got twisted at the reception and attempted to steal my father in law's car
DJ's equipment failed and he had to head to the other side of Dublin to get replacements. Left us for 2 hours listening to Sunshine Radio in the meantime, as he was stopped for speeding on the way
My father in law's speech went on for 15 minutes about how great his daughter was and never referenced me once

Was one of the best days of my life

Wanderer78

Deleted User wrote: »

Great thread!
Some dodgy characters out there lads...

Anyway mine is not ruin a wedding but could of had the potential too..
So an ex of mine called me every odd day for 2 years to ask if there was any chance we could get back together, the last time he called me was on the morning of his wedding, to a traveller girl. Poor girl.

Another wedding some friends of my husbands sent us an invite to a lovely spot in the west, quite rural so accommodation was needed. 'invited to celebrate wedding of... ' was the words on the invite.
Got there with all our other pals to be lead out to the back area where they served cocktail sausages and pizza. (not enough to go around), no drinks reception.
Turns out they had a quieter meal with 20 family etc after the early church sermon, and the 150 guests that were invited along with us was in fact the afters. 6 of us including one pregnant woman had to slip out for a meal in the restaurant as we were starved! And they walked by unashamed to see us there eating!!
No guessing why it was nicknamed 'the fundraiser' after.

My own wedding 11 years ago had 14 guests including me and the OH..
Meal in hotel and drinks dancing after to band..
Best wedding ever.. Could never understand these big shindigs.
Well renew the vows when when can travel again with the kids for the crack!

would you not see it as how messed up society has gotten in regards these events, that couples are nearly financially broken, before they even crack on with a mortgage and kids?

AlejGuzman68

I was at my very distant cousin's wedding, and after the bride(who is a very lovely woman)recited her vows. The groom proceeded to state he can't go through with the mockery. And left hand in hand with the best man.That was his coming out moment. They are still together, no idea what became of the bride.

Wanderer78

AlejGuzman68 wrote: »

I was at my very distant cousin's wedding, and after the bride(who is a very lovely woman)recited her vows. The groom proceeded to state he can't go through with the mockery. And left hand in hand with the best man.That was his coming out moment. They are still together, no idea what became of the bride.

jesus thats dreadful, there is easier ways to come out, without destroying others

BattleCorp

AlejGuzman68 wrote: »

I was at my very distant cousin's wedding, and after the bride(who is a very lovely woman)recited her vows. The groom proceeded to state he can't go through with the mockery. And left hand in hand with the best man.That was his coming out moment. They are still together, no idea what became of the bride.

That doesn't sound believable to be honest.

JimmyVik

I found out a few months after our wedding that my mother had contacted all the guests and asked for money instead of presents.
I was mortified. Never told the wife.
We would be the first to consider it very scummy for someone to request money only as a wedding present.
Jesus i'll never get over it.

AlejGuzman68

BattleCorp wrote: »

That doesn't sound believable to be honest.

It may not but it did happen. Once in awhile it is still brought up at family get togethers.

[Deleted User]

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

listening to (The Red Hot Sound of) Sunshine Radio in the meantime

Showing both our ages!

partyguinness

JimmyVik wrote: »

I found out a few months after our wedding that my mother had contacted all the guests and asked for money instead of presents.
I was mortified. Never told the wife.
We would be the first to consider it very scummy for someone to request money only as a wedding present.
Jesus i'll never get over it.

Any wedding invite that I have received requesting cash is promptly gifted anything but cash. Have not seen it in Ireland personally but a few times in England.

In fact, a lady I work with did it 2 years ago. I made up some BS excuse that I could not make it and sent them a food basket from M&S.

ShyMets

Just on the whole money for a gift thing.

About three years ago we attended a friends wedding. Everything went well and we had a great day.

However any time we met his wife afterwards she seemed a bit off with us. Which seemed a bit odd.

A few months ago we were doing a bit of a spring clean and what did we find only their wedding card

I thought my OH gave them the card and she thought I did. Because off COVID I haven't been able to give it to them as I don't want to send money in the post.

No wonder his wife was off with us. She must have thought we were an awfully tight fisted pair

Larbre34

AlejGuzman68 wrote: »

It may not but it did happen. Once in awhile it is still brought up at family get togethers.

Just once in a while.....

CoBo55

partyguinness wrote: »

Any wedding invite that I have received requesting cash is promptly gifted anything but cash. Have not seen it in Ireland personally but a few times in England.

In fact, a lady I work with did it 2 years ago. I made up some BS excuse that I could not make it and sent them a food basket from M&S.

Love your sig..

Sebastian Dangerfield

JimmyVik wrote: »

I found out a few months after our wedding that my mother had contacted all the guests and asked for money instead of presents.
I was mortified. Never told the wife.
We would be the first to consider it very scummy for someone to request money only as a wedding present.
Jesus i'll never get over it.

I was invited to the wedding of two english people in fcuking South Africa, after a stag in Munich, and the invite said something along the lines of "We understand it's costing you lots to get to the wedding, so please don't feel pressure to provide a gift - but if you do wish to, a financial contribution would be appreciated".

It's not my story so can't be sure it's true, but someone in work told me she got a wedding invite that was written as if it was from the couples kids (5 and 7), saying that it would "be great if we could all contribute to mammy and daddys big day" and had bank details printed on it.

Sleepy

Not ruined but my own best man had a bit of a mare - he was nervous about the speech so had a few pints too many in search of dutch courage and was half cut giving the speech. He opened with a joke he'd found on the internet that the speech should be no longer than the duration the groom can make love for... then proceeded to give a rambling 70 minute long speech... He gave me my two best laughs of my own (much shorter) speech when I assured him he greatly over-estimated my prowess and got to tell the story of how he'd quite literally failed to organise a piss-up in a brewery on the stag do! (The brewery was closed when we arrived for the tour he'd planned but he recovered brilliantly and in the time it took us to have a pint in a lovely ould fella's bar nearby he'd organised a mini-bus to take us on a pub crawl around the Ring of Kerry which was a brilliant session.

Again, it didn't ruin the wedding but it was my own blunder at a wedding: while rather enthusiastically spinning my cousin on the dancefloor, I managed to land her on her arse in her wedding dress!

Str8outtaWuhan

ShyMets wrote: »

Just on the whole money for a gift thing.

About three years ago we attended a friends wedding. Everything went well and we had a great day.

However any time we met his wife afterwards she seemed a bit off with us. Which seemed a bit odd.

A few months ago we were doing a bit of a spring clean and what did we find only their wedding card

I thought my OH gave them the card and she thought I did. Because off COVID I haven't been able to give it to them as I don't want to send money in the post.

No wonder his wife was off with us. She must have thought we were an awfully tight fisted pair

funny , opposite happened to us during height of the tiger. Pretentious couple had a wedding gift registry thing at one of the dept stores, we promptly bought some stuff as u do. had great wedding , thank you's went out to all our friends and guests but not to us. we were too awkward to ask why not us? in the end we figured the online thingy didnt register us even though i had it in credit card statement.

long story short EVERY wedding since then one of us will approach the bride the day before and hand her card saying "take care of that now there's money in it" on the day of the wedding we will tell the groom "we gave the card to the bride"

razorblunt

A friend of mine was at a wedding a few years back. One of those fancy golf and country houses type places.
He was his wife's +1 so didn't know a whole load there and knew the couple from quick meetings (the bride was a school friend of his wife I think).

Anyway it's rehearsal dinner and his wife was saying its strange the bride isnt anywhere to be seen, few other folk were looking for her too but none of the wedding party seemed concerned. He noticed one of the bridesmaid party suddenly made a run for the door and was followed by the other bridesmaids. He thought nothing of it other than maybe there's been some last minute hitch and they've gone off to celebrate.

There was not further chat on it until the ceremony the next day when both he and wife noticed the bride looked a bit "tired and out of it". Ceremony went off without incident and the day was progressing well but it wasn't until they sat at their table that other guests who were in the now had said the bride texted the bridesmaids during the rehearsal dinner saying something along the lines of "I can't do this, sorry, I'm going down to the water (on the golf course)". They got there in time and went through the day heavily medicated, apparently it was nerves/anxiety but I don't know if you'd still make someone go through with it.