Do dating 'leagues' exist?

Walking_Wolf · 23-01-2021 1:23pm

I suppose "leagues" do exist. For example, a 28 year old guy who is very overweight and lives at home with his mammy, won't get a second glance from a good looking 28 year old woman who works in finance. She has more options on the dating marketplace and can afford to be fussy. The man I've described wouldn't have as many options.

Tig98 · 23-01-2021 3:11pm

Walking_Wolf wrote: »

I suppose "leagues" do exist. For example, a 28 year old guy who is very overweight and lives at home with his mammy, won't get a second glance from a good looking 28 year old woman who works in finance. She has more options on the dating marketplace and can afford to be fussy. The man I've described wouldn't have as many options.

I think values are a much more stringent and common league/filter than people think. Attraction is all subjective, and I think most people who have been in love recognise that. You end up not caring about their appearance because you love the very essence of them.

In your scenario they would not be compatible because the guy (seemingly) has less motivation than the woman. They would'nt be compatible personalities, theres too much difference between them. She's not gonna do a 10k run in the morning to come home to him reheating yesterday's pizza...

McGinniesta · 23-01-2021 4:13pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

A massive mickey and a little confidence will help level the playing field a little.

Beechwoodspark · 23-01-2021 4:23pm

I know a guy who is a deli counter server/stocker of a convenience store. I don’t work directly with him but for work I’m in the store regularly and interact with the staff there.

Mid 30s. Minimum wage or around about that.

Wouldn’t consider him a George clooney. Short and overweight. Drinks smokes and drugs. Tatts on neck.

Loud personality. I would say obnoxious.

Rough looking, Full of confidence and he would be the type of person to take the p1ss out of co workers etc for example If someone bought a new car he’d be the first to criticise it and make them the joke.

He can be very funny telling stories etc but always a cruel/bullying undertone to them.

He has dated a string of what I would call women out of his league. Bank workers/opticians/pharmacists/etc from the local area who frequently are in the shop over the last few years.

All of them younger than him and Some of them very attractive women.

Presumably he “charms” them, we are all a bit clueless as to how he does it repeatedly. He goes around the shop wearing a dirty work apron, I want to emphasise he is not a “hunk” or anything like that.

I’ll give 1 example. He was dating a slim blond “good looker” trainee pharmacist last year. Mid 20s.

She was in the shop one day And he literally roared ignorantly at her demanding she give him money for the rest of the week and she looked SO embarrassed and “rabbit caught in headlights”

It was an ignorant roar so much so everyone whether customers or staff looked over at them.

He then went around from the deli counter and blocked her exit from the shop and again loudly shouted at her to go to the in store atm and get money out for him, which she did.

He dated her for another few months and I know he got a generous birthday present from her in the meantime before the split.

I know another ex of his funded him and his friends trip to watch Liverpool on a lads wkend a few years ago. She herself didn’t go.

He curses them from a great height when he breaks up with them and has NO filter. He’d tell all sorts of intimate info about his exes to ppl in the shop.

Again I don’t know what his secret is.

He is not at all rich, not good looking, not particularly smart or funny. Bully tendencies. I THINK it boils down to brazenness and confidence.

completedit · 23-01-2021 7:10pm

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

I know a guy who is a deli counter server/stocker of a convenience store. I don’t work directly with him but for work I’m in the store regularly and interact with the staff there.

Mid 30s. Minimum wage or around about that.

Wouldn’t consider him a George clooney. Short and overweight. Drinks smokes and drugs. Tatts on neck.

Loud personality. I would say obnoxious.

Rough looking, Full of confidence and he would be the type of person to take the p1ss out of co workers etc for example If someone bought a new car he’d be the first to criticise it and make them the joke.

He can be very funny telling stories etc but always a cruel/bullying undertone to them.

He has dated a string of what I would call women out of his league. Bank workers/opticians/pharmacists/etc from the local area who frequently are in the shop over the last few years.

All of them younger than him and Some of them very attractive women.

Presumably he “charms” them, we are all a bit clueless as to how he does it repeatedly. He goes around the shop wearing a dirty work apron, I want to emphasise he is not a “hunk” or anything like that.

I’ll give 1 example. He was dating a slim blond “good looker” trainee pharmacist last year. Mid 20s.

She was in the shop one day And he literally roared ignorantly at her demanding she give him money for the rest of the week and she looked SO embarrassed and “rabbit caught in headlights”

It was an ignorant roar so much so everyone whether customers or staff looked over at them.

He then went around from the deli counter and blocked her exit from the shop and again loudly shouted at her to go to the in store atm and get money out for him, which she did.

He dated her for another few months and I know he got a generous birthday present from her in the meantime before the split.

I know another ex of his funded him and his friends trip to watch Liverpool on a lads wkend a few years ago. She herself didn’t go.

He curses them from a great height when he breaks up with them and has NO filter. He’d tell all sorts of intimate info about his exes to ppl in the shop.

Again I don’t know what his secret is.

He is not at all rich, not good looking, not particularly smart or funny. Bully tendencies. I THINK it boils down to brazenness and confidence.

Might have a big dick.

BorneTobyWilde · 23-01-2021 7:22pm

Maybe living with what ifs is not the thing to do. Best to fail than to never try.

23-01-2021 7:33pm

I think you normally find a balance in couples. If one is better looking than the other then something else balance them out like bigger personality, higher earner etc.

What you dont see lasting is when one is better looking, better personality and more financially successful than the other.

Flit clicker · 23-01-2021 7:33pm

Irish_rat · 23-01-2021 7:35pm

Looks is definetly not everything when it comes to leagues, your job and personality are up there too.

No point going out with a stunner if she is thick as a plank.

ofcork · 23-01-2021 8:49pm

That guy above is an example of women attracted to bad boys could never understand it myself.

23-01-2021 8:58pm

Bad boys don't work in deli counters on minimum wage ........... that aside the women going out with him must be sad cases. Plenty folk in good jobs who are attractive but who are deeply unhappy and/or insecure for whatever reason. For everyone of them he dates he probably chances his arm with 10s more.

Beechwoodspark · 23-01-2021 10:46pm

Augeo wrote: »

Bad boys don't work in deli counters on minimum wage ........... that aside the women going out with him must be sad cases. Plenty folk in good jobs who are attractive but who are deeply unhappy and/or insecure for whatever reason. For everyone of them he dates he probably chances his arm with 10s more.

That’s it. He flirts with every woman he meets in the shop. I’ve seen him flirting with women in their 80s for god sake. “How are you?” “All the better for seeing you gorgeous”

Vestiapx · 23-01-2021 11:28pm

Daisy78 wrote: »

I can think of at least five or six couples that I know where the guy is objectively more attractive than his partner/wife. In fact I seem to notice that scenario moreso these days than the other way around.

Is that an age thing, did they get together more recently. Men who stay healthy can be seen to get better looking as the get older while women with kids start looking rough if they don't concentrate of staying attractive. Happens from about 40 onwards. Is that the age range you are mixing with 40-50 ish

JasonStatham · 23-01-2021 11:31pm

When you hear a load of single lads on here talking about dating leagues and women in finance, you can't do nothing but laugh. Haha.

Surreptitious · 23-01-2021 11:38pm

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

That’s it. He flirts with every woman he meets in the shop. I’ve seen him flirting with women in their 80s for god sake. “How are you?” “All the better for seeing you gorgeous”

Maybe he cheers them up?

Vestiapx · 23-01-2021 11:41pm

JasonStatham wrote: »

When you hear a load of single lads on here talking about dating leagues and women in finance, you can't do nothing but laugh. Haha.

I don't get ya

ILoveYourVibes · 24-01-2021 12:03pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

How do you think prince philip got the gig?

He was penniless.

AND NO HE WAS NEVER GOOD LOOKING !

AdrianBalboa · 24-01-2021 12:09pm

In my view they definitely exist. I was well out of my husband’s league when we met: I was incredibly beautiful back then and in amazing shape and he has always been a bit shlubby. He thought all his Christmasses had come at once when I asked him out.

I’m not the head turner I used to be (or I’m not perceived to be, that’s a topic for another day :rolleyes:) but I still look pretty good, and he’s not getting any better. So I’m still well out of my husband’s league and that’s despite the patriarchal consensus that women look worse as they get older (:rolleyes:) and men only get better. Not true!

ILoveYourVibes · 24-01-2021 12:12pm

leagues were meant to be broken op ....go chase your dream girl ...with her consent

Hyperbollix · 24-01-2021 12:31pm

AdrianBalboa wrote: »

In my view they definitely exist. I was well out of my husband’s league when we met: I was incredibly beautiful back then and in amazing shape and he has always been a bit shlubby. He thought all his Christmasses had come at once when I asked him out.

I’m not the head turner I used to be (or I’m not perceived to be, that’s a topic for another day :rolleyes:) but I still look pretty good, and he’s not getting any better. So I’m still well out of my husband’s league and that’s despite the patriarchal consensus that women look worse as they get older (:rolleyes:) and men only get better. Not true!

Maybe he makes up for it by being self deprecating and humble.

ILoveYourVibes · 24-01-2021 12:43pm

Hyperbollix wrote: »

Maybe he makes up for it by being self deprecating and humble.

This is ..if you have charm ..you are humble etc... it will take a guy far

Arrogance is NOT attractive.

RacoonQueen · 24-01-2021 12:47pm

AdrianBalboa wrote: »

In my view they definitely exist. I was well out of my husband’s league when we met: I was incredibly beautiful back then and in amazing shape and he has always been a bit shlubby. He thought all his Christmasses had come at once when I asked him out.

I’m not the head turner I used to be (or I’m not perceived to be, that’s a topic for another day :rolleyes:) but I still look pretty good, and he’s not getting any better. So I’m still well out of my husband’s league and that’s despite the patriarchal consensus that women look worse as they get older (:rolleyes:) and men only get better. Not true!

Sounds like one of you is out of the others league alright, not sure in the way you think though.

FishOnABike · 24-01-2021 1:03pm

And there was I thinking a league was where you got to play at home and away with the rest of the league.

24-01-2021 1:05pm

AdrianBalboa wrote: »

In my view they definitely exist. I was well out of my husband’s league when we met: I was incredibly beautiful back then and in amazing shape and he has always been a bit shlubby. He thought all his Christmasses had come at once when I asked him out.

I’m not the head turner I used to be (or I’m not perceived to be, that’s a topic for another day :rolleyes:) but I still look pretty good, and he’s not getting any better. So I’m still well out of my husband’s league and that’s despite the patriarchal consensus that women look worse as they get older (:rolleyes:) and men only get better. Not true!

But what else did you bring to the table? What were your earnings? What were his?
How come you couldn't land someone in your own league?

Daisy78 · 24-01-2021 1:10pm

Vestiapx wrote: »

Is that an age thing, did they get together more recently. Men who stay healthy can be seen to get better looking as the get older while women with kids start looking rough if they don't concentrate of staying attractive. Happens from about 40 onwards. Is that the age range you are mixing with 40-50 ish

Most of these couples met in their twenties so your theory doesn’t apply. I know one couple who met in college, he is tall, dark complexion, a very attractive man. His wife is short, very overweight, would have no attractive features at all, and would be quite short tempered and insecure. So on paper no match but they are both smitten with each other and are still together in their now mid fifties. I remember meeting another couple years ago when I was travelling, the guy was absolutely gorgeous, great body, dark complexion, had a bit of a hard edged look to him but was actually very softly spoken. His girlfriend was short, overweight and wasn’t particularly pretty in the conventional sense and had a mouth on her like a sewer, you would never put the two of them together. But obviously it worked for both of them. They are just two examples I know of of.

I think the idea that the woman always has to be the better looking of the two doesn’t account for connection or chemistry between two people. The concept of dating leagues don’t take into account personal tastes or what people prioritise in a relationship.

ILoveYourVibes · 24-01-2021 1:11pm

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Sounds like one of you is out of the others league alright, not sure in the way you think though.

That is not very nice to say.

JeffKenna · 24-01-2021 1:12pm

AdrianBalboa wrote: »

In my view they definitely exist. I was well out of my husband’s league when we met: I was incredibly beautiful back then and in amazing shape and he has always been a bit shlubby. He thought all his Christmasses had come at once when I asked him out.

I’m not the head turner I used to be (or I’m not perceived to be, that’s a topic for another day :rolleyes:) but I still look pretty good, and he’s not getting any better. So I’m still well out of my husband’s league and that’s despite the patriarchal consensus that women look worse as they get older (:rolleyes:) and men only get better. Not true!

I think personality comes into it as well.

ILoveYourVibes · 24-01-2021 1:12pm

Augeo wrote: »

But what else did you bring to the table? What were your earnings? What were his?
How come you couldn't land someone in your own league?

I don't like where your conversation is going.

Wealth is not something someone brings to the table.

It doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't count for anything.

Unless you are that way...

Money doesn't make a man any better than he is alone himself ...AND he KNOWS it doesnt ..unless he is a snob! And a fool

Same for women.

suicide_circus · 24-01-2021 1:28pm

It would be strange if there werent leagues.

People usually gravitate towards others with similar attribures; interests, wealth, social status, education etc, why should attractiveness be different?

ILoveYourVibes · 24-01-2021 1:59pm

Surreptitious wrote: »

Maybe he cheers them up?

This is INVALUABLE.

Do dating 'leagues' exist?

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