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Do dating 'leagues' exist?

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    #32
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,472 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    .anon. wrote: »
    Right now, yes. But I haven't always been single. And I have enough self-confidence to believe that I probably won't be single forever either, because I have things to offer a potential partner outside of being wealthy and tall, dark and handsome. Past experiences have taught me that women aren't all the same, and that some of them are, for whatever reason, attracted to me.

    I take it you're single too, and you blame outside factors for that? Damn those women, only being attracted to tall, good-looking men with deep pockets instead of nice little guys like me.

    Nah, I’m married for a few years now. It might be a little bewildering for my wife if I started ranting about the looks or wealth of other men, but you never know I guess.

    Thankfully never had any droughts in that department. However, it’s been my experience that those with lofty, high-minded ideals around the dating preferences of others, are often terminally single.

    I’m not saying that some women (and men) prioritizing a fat wallet or model-like looks is a good thing. I’m just not sure why you’re getting so exercised about it.

    Never mind fella, you’re flawless, non-materialistic, non-judgemental princess is sure to materialize...

    one day.


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    #33
    Tig98
    Registered Users Posts: 363 ✭✭Tig98


    .anon. wrote: »
    'Leagues' only exist in people's very narrow minds. But there are sadly a lot of narrow minded people out there. Personally, I wouldn't be attracted to the type of person who felt that my job or my earnings made me 'not good enough' for her anyway.

    I dont necessarily agree. The problem is the mindset, not the income. Ive worked in customer service roles and there can be great camaraderie between staff and the days pass quickly but obviously the pay isn't great.

    If you're happy in your job and making ends meet then its not an issue, all work is admirable, and life is about more than money. If you have to drag yourself out of bed five days a week to go to a poor paying job you absolutely cant stand? Then thats an issue....


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    #34
    Lynn Door
    Closed Accounts Posts: 141 ✭✭Lynn Door


    I dont think there is "leagues" just personal preference.
    Some like tall/short, fat/skinny, blonde/dark/red whatever. Loads of different variants and I think once that initial preference is ticked if you like, the fact that a tall skinny model falls for a fat ginger because he is her type she is called a gold digger or vice versa? Just my opinion


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    #35
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    harrymcgowan wrote: »
    Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

    yes of course , hollywood charge you ten euro in to see it


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    #36
    Blondini
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,480 ✭✭✭Blondini


    Good looking people are treated better.
    Good looking people match with other good looking people.


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    #37
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    TuringBot47 wrote: »
    Yeah, especially if the women hit early/mid thirties... that ticking biological clock can get you a good second-hand bargain. Like a classic car.

    all the classics are taken by mid thirties , only micras left


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    #38
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,472 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    Blondini wrote: »
    Good looking people are treated better.
    Good looking people match with other good looking people.

    We have problems too you know :)


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    #39
    Lynn Door
    Closed Accounts Posts: 141 ✭✭Lynn Door


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    all the classics are taken by mid thirties , only micras left

    I think you will find cars in their mid thirties have only reached their peak. Its a shame you havent had the experience.


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    #40
    Loafing Oaf
    Registered Users Posts: 16,103 ✭✭✭✭Loafing Oaf


    More of a knockout competition, the dating game, IMO...


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    #41
    harrymcgowan
    Site Banned Posts: 9 ✭harrymcgowan


    Lynn Door wrote: »
    I dont think there is "leagues" just personal preference.
    Some like tall/short, fat/skinny, blonde/dark/red whatever. Loads of different variants and I think once that initial preference is ticked if you like, the fact that a tall skinny model falls for a fat ginger because he is her type she is called a gold digger or vice versa? Just my opinion

    I wouldn't say leagues are literally defined but in a vague sense, they exist.

    There is a filter theory in psychology


    It's very unlikely that a woman from Donnybrook would date and marry a guy from Ballymun. Not impossible just unlikely. People want to date those of similar socioeconomic status/area they live in.

    Similarly, despite how forward thinking todays society is in terms of gender, most people still expect sexual dimorphism in relationships i.e. the man is taller, older and the woman is younger, shorter. Being a short man will hamper your dating chances, not completely but still hamper it.


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    #42
    Lynn Door
    Closed Accounts Posts: 141 ✭✭Lynn Door


    harrymcgowan wrote: »
    I wouldn't say leagues are literally defined but in a vague sense, they exist.

    There is a filter theory in psychology


    It's very unlikely that a woman from Donnybrook would date and marry a guy from Ballymun. Not impossible just unlikely. People want to date those of similar socioeconomic status/area they live in.

    Similarly, despite how forward thinking todays society is in terms of gender, most people still expect sexual dimorphism in relationships i.e. the man is taller, older and the woman is younger, shorter. Being a short man will hamper your dating chances, not completely but still hamper it.

    Well I would be inclined to agree and disagree.
    Different diagraphics...attraction can overcome.
    The sexual dimorphism you describe is something that is internalised and may "hamper your dating chances" I agree but only if it is your preference.
    I may say I want a 5'1" bald man with bo from Ballymun. Kinda limits my choices so I branch out from there. But I appreciate your comments.


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    #43
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Lynn Door wrote: »
    I think you will find cars in their mid thirties have only reached their peak. Its a shame you havent had the experience.

    thats different , those women are largely still unavailable despite being at their sexual peak


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    #44
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,902 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Surreptitious wrote: »
    Not another thread like this please. This tall sh!t will crop up again and overweight women etc. Just not able for it.

    It's getting a bit OTT.

    Just aother thread to bash women. There has been a lot of them lately.


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    #45
    bnt
    Registered Users Posts: 12,965 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    For starters, you have to be over six feet tall, if not you should have grown harder.

    From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch’.

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut



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    #46
    Hamachi
    Registered Users Posts: 2,472 ✭✭✭Hamachi


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    a lot of people are forced to settle , i adore my fiance but im not really that physically attracted to her

    Seriously?

    No judgement, but I don’t think I could be with a woman long term if I didn’t want to jump her bones regularly.


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    #47
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,471 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    a lot of people are forced to settle , i adore my fiance but im not really that physically attracted to her , love everything else about her and thats enough , not like im the catch of the century either

    Jesus.

    Threads and posts like this both depress the fcuk out of me and make me very thankful for my single, child free (by choice), financially independent and pretty much entirely happy status.


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    #48
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,902 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    Jesus.

    Threads and posts like this both depress the fcuk out of me and make me very thankful for my single, child free (by choice), financially independent and pretty much entirely happy status.

    A lot to be said for it.

    Better to live your own like, than "settle".

    Imagine living like that, jesus is right, you got in before me.

    Not everyone has to confirm, more to life.


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    #49
    Mickey_James
    Site Banned Posts: 74 ✭✭Mickey_James


    Good way to know leagues exist is go somewhere you are exotic and stand out from the regulars.

    Like here in Ireland, the argie women go mad for me. I am on tinder and I can't get a match with an irish woman, it's all south americans and many of them are crackers!

    Then, you know how goodlooking Irish men feel like when they have goodlooking irish women after them.


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    #50
    Mimon
    Registered Users Posts: 1,474 ✭✭✭Mimon


    TuringBot47 wrote: »
    Attracted is different to thinking of them as long term partners.

    Women may be attracted to the alpha male types, but whether they'd trust them not to cheat/stray, consider that they're be happy with them long term is a different story. I'd say there's a lot of women that wouldn't want to have to keep going to the gym/getting work done to look good for a model man.
    Or would slowly go into a control freak breakdown of insecurity as they aged and the guy stayed looking good.

    So usually there's a compromise in the long run.
    The solid stable types, earners and mature ones can win out for marriage.

    Have read that women can want the stable type but will want to get knocked up by the alpha male type and hope the stable type will not realise and raise the kid as his own.

    Before I'm pounced on by the more sensitive types it is all deeply engrained in us to come up with ways of passing on our genes and this is a great strategy.

    Any male offspring will likely inherit the alpha male genes and thus will have a greater chance of being attractive to women and thus pass on the mothers genes to a third generation.

    The fact that he would be reared by a stable type means that there is a greater chance he will get to reproductive age in the first place.


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    #51
    .anon.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,094 ✭✭✭.anon.


    Hamachi wrote: »
    However, it’s been my experience that those with lofty, high-minded ideals around the dating preferences of others, are often terminally single.

    I think most of us are attracted to people with similar values to our own. And I don't think mine are any more 'lofty' or 'high-minded' than those of someone who prioritises wealth, height, social status, educational attainment or whatever. Based on previous experiences, I don't think I'll be terminally single. I do wonder about those who believe there is a hierarchy that places them out of other people's leagues - I suspect many of them will remain single. Or else, even worse, they'll settle for someone, anyone, because it's better than ending up on their own. It's great that you have a wife, by the way.


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    #52
    Mickey_James
    Site Banned Posts: 74 ✭✭Mickey_James


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    all the classics are taken by mid thirties , only micras left

    It's true.

    I swipe on tinder thinking "why are you single at 33 if you're a catch?"

    Bad thought I know


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    #53
    FortuneChip
    Registered Users Posts: 2,748 ✭✭✭FortuneChip


    hynesie08 wrote: »
    Leagues exist, but promotion is possible....

    Aye, there's usually a way in the backdoor isn't there?


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    #54
    completedit
    Registered Users Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭completedit


    I don't want to share toxicity. To expand on my belief that leagues do exist we have to look at the facts. Look at the people who receive adoration, love, sex, compliments, attention, it will more often than not be someone who has either achieved success(to varying degrees) or has some level of beauty that society/biology has deemed to be worthy of recognition.
    There's a reason why certain people will be able to swing from one relationship to the other, while other people wait and wait and nothing comes their way. Are we really to believe that these beautiful successful people are more capable of love than those who do not receive it? Because in my experience that's how it's been; the people who I wouldn't necessarily call the most kind or gentle or loving people were the ones in relationship. Conversely, there were loads of people who I would consider to possess those traits in loving relationships. But we know there are plenty of people who struggle to find love. I've always wondered why that is? Society tells us we must love ourselves but yet deeply unhappy people get into relationships. Unlikely they'll find true happiness in the relationship but do we ever find true happiness?

    We have to accept the reality that life isn't fair. Some people, for no more than the luck of having the genes for a well shaped nose or the ability to kick leather around a field or strum a guitar or look sexy in a black dress will be better positioned to be received and embraced than someone else lacking the aforementioned qualities but the same set of inherent good sides and bad.

    My attitude is this though; I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to. As I get older I'm more accepting of this. Before I used to think was I odd or wrong for thinking I needed to have to find someone attractive to want to be in a relationship with them. I don't feel anyone is better or worse than anyone; I have my own preferences that are uncontrollable. It's not like I want to be with every conventionally attractive women I see. Some while I think are pretty, I just don't have attraction to. It's anyone's guess why that is.


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    #55
    un5byh7sqpd2x0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,862 ✭✭✭un5byh7sqpd2x0


    FortuneChip wrote: »
    Aye, there's usually a way in the backdoor isn't there?

    Aye, plenty of preparation and she’ll let you in the back door.


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    #56
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,471 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Mickey_James wrote: »
    It's true.

    I swipe on tinder thinking "why are you single at 33 if you're a catch?"

    Bad thought I know

    I'm about to break one of my own rules and engage in gender/dating AH thread a) at all and b) in good faith. Here goes:


    That's a very reductive thought process alright. I'm single in my late 30s through a combination of circumstance and choice.

    I married in my 20s because I was head over heels in love with my ex. I never wanted children. I knew that, he knew that, everyone knew that. And all was good in the world for years. Unfortunately, he changed his mind and the inevitable happened.

    Fast forward several years. I'm single at 38 and yes, I consider myself "a catch" (whatever that means). I'm fun, funny, fit, financially independent, emotionally independent. I have a good job, live in a nice gaff, drive a nice car and the only reason I'm "still" single is because I'm happy out and it will take a pretty special man to turn my head.

    Not because I'm picky, not because I'm a princess, not because I'm looking for some unicorn-like creature who can tick a load of arbitrary boxes. I'm quite simply not particularly pushed or rushed and I've no interest in settling. If it happens, it happens and if it doesn't, it doesn't.

    I married for love and it didn't work out. But I count myself incredibly lucky for having had that and it's more than many people get.

    If I spend the rest of my life single, I will 100% be ok with that. An oul rattle would be nice, though.


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    #57
    JeffKenna
    Registered Users Posts: 4,529 ✭✭✭JeffKenna


    A fella playing in the third division in his 20's can easily move up to a premiership player in his 30's. Works the opposite for women, a premiership player in her 20's falls down the leagues very quickly in her 30's/40's.


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    #58
    anewme
    Registered Users Posts: 11,902 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    JeffKenna wrote: »
    A fella playing in the third division in his 20's can easily move up to a premiership player in his 30's. Works the opposite for women, a premiership player in her 20's falls down the leagues very quickly in her 30's/40's.

    Why?


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    #59
    Mickey_James
    Site Banned Posts: 74 ✭✭Mickey_James


    Dial Hard wrote: »
    I'm about to break one of my own rules and engage in gender/dating AH thread a) at all and b) in good faith. Here goes:


    That's a very reductive thought process alright. I'm single in my late 30s through a combination of circumstance and choice.

    I married in my 20s because I was head over heels in love with my ex. I never wanted children. I knew that, he knew that, everyone knew that. And all was good in the world for years. Unfortunately, he changed his mind and the inevitable happened.

    Fast forward several years. I'm single at 38 and yes, I consider myself "a catch" (whatever that means). I'm fun, funny, fit, financially independent, emotionally independent. I have a good job, live in a nice gaff, drive a nice car and the only reason I'm "still" single is because I'm happy out and it will take a pretty special man to turn my head.

    Not because I'm picky, not because I'm a princess, not because I'm looking for some unicorn-like creature who can tick a load of arbitrary boxes. I'm quite simply not particularly pushed or rushed and I've no interest in settling. If it happens, it happens and if it doesn't, it doesn't.

    I married for love and it didn't work out. But I count myself incredibly lucky for having had that and it's more than many people get.

    If I spend the rest of my life single, I will 100% be ok with that. An oul rattle would be nice, though.

    PM me! haha


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    #60
    Idbatterim
    Registered Users Posts: 17,849 ✭✭✭✭Idbatterim


    anewme wrote: »
    Why?

    Start clearing your inbox ;)


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    #61
    Snails pace
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭Snails pace


    JeffKenna wrote: »
    A fella playing in the third division in his 20's can easily move up to a premiership player in his 30's. Works the opposite for women, a premiership player in her 20's falls down the leagues very quickly in her 30's/40's.

    I agree with this. I'm in my mid 20's and in a great relationship. However I have seen girls who were in the premiership league in their early 20's slide way down the rankings by their late 20's. I'm not basing it totally on looks or appearance, I'm factoring in everything else in their life. This also happens fellas too.


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