Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Precious parents and their new born kids

Options
1235789

Comments

  • Options
    #122
    Lefty Bicek
    Registered Users Posts: 1,625 ✭✭✭Lefty Bicek


    Candie wrote: »
    But not as wearing as fully grown adults complaining the world revolves around kids, when they clearly think it should revolve around them instead.

    Absolutely agree.

    Start a thread about it if you want.


  • Options
    #123
    Lia_lia
    Registered Users Posts: 6,691 ✭✭✭Lia_lia


    You sound like my Mother, OP. She doesn't understand this whole baby sleep pattern thing and just brought us everywhere with her when we were babies. However, she's also one of these people that only needs about 4-5 hours sleep a night.

    I dread to think what kind of "advice" she'll be giving me when I have kids...


  • Options
    #124
    How Soon Is Now
    Registered Users Posts: 13,106 ✭✭✭✭How Soon Is Now


    Rootsblower wrote: »
    Thread needs to be renamed “arsehole parents and their spawn who can do no wrong”

    Could also go for "certain people in AHs think they know ****ing everything" .

    The possibilitys are endless really!


  • Options
    #125
    v638sg7k1a92bx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,913 ✭✭✭v638sg7k1a92bx


    Colonel Claptrap wrote: »
    'Why we Sleep', a book by Professor Matthew Walker is in the charts at the moment. I can't recommend it enough.

    OP's post reminded me of a chapter he wrote on measuring the effects of sleep disruption on newborn rats, and how that shapes what we know about sleep in infants.

    "Sadly, we do not yet fully understand what the long-term effects are of fetal or neo-nate REM-sleep disruption. Only that blocking or reducing REM sleep in newborn animals hinders and distorts brain development, leading to an adult that is socially abnormal."

    OP, did you get much sleep as a baby?

    I slept like a baby.


  • Options
    #126
    Lefty Bicek
    Registered Users Posts: 1,625 ✭✭✭Lefty Bicek


    Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »
    I slept like a baby.

    :D


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #127
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Rootsblower wrote: »
    OP needs to be rename thread “arsehole parents and their spawn who can do no wrong”
    FYP - BUT - Does the OP have the bottle? And not the baby's one.


  • Options
    #128
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    If the Little feckers don’t get proper sleep you sodding pay for it.


  • Options
    #129
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Being 90 minutes late due to a delay caused by the baby is standard stuff - it can't be helped. It's not a deliberate strategy to cause inconvenience. Maybe consider things from their point of view - it's not a picnic for them either.


  • Options
    #130
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    garv123 wrote: »
    When I was in school, a decade ago, we were terrified that we'd get a letter home to our parents if we got in trouble, and we'd get in trouble for it at home...

    These days Children go home and tell their parents that the teacher gave out to them, and an awful lot of parents give out to the teacher for picking on their little johnny.. Snowflakes!!!

    Don't even start on that educate together sh!te!!
    You were in school all the way back in 2009?!

    Yeah people were saying the very same thing about your generation. And many before it.


  • Options
    #131
    FanadMan
    Registered Users Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »
    Is this a recent phenomenon or has it always been the case? I'm beyond this phase in my life but I have friends/colleagues/acquaintances who seem to think that the world revolves around their kids nap or feeding times.

    How old are you OP? 18-25?

    This has been going on since before I was born and I'm 45.

    Deal with it. Smile, coo over the pics and carry on. In another 10 years, you'll have been complaining about the future you.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #132
    DS86DS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 691 ✭✭✭DS86DS


    Mothers loving and having a bond with their babies. It's an absolute disgrace.


  • Options
    #133
    BuboBubo
    Registered Users Posts: 927 ✭✭✭BuboBubo


    garv123 wrote: »
    When I was in school, a decade ago, we were terrified that we'd get a letter home to our parents if we got in trouble, and we'd get in trouble for it at home...

    These days Children go home and tell their parents that the teacher gave out to them, and an awful lot of parents give out to the teacher for picking on their little johnny.. Snowflakes!!!

    Don't even start on that educate together

    I just googled "Educate Together", it seems to be a non-demonational/all races/everyone welcome type of school? That's probably a good thing imo. Or am I missing something.


  • Options
    #134
    Noodles81
    Registered Users Posts: 296 ✭✭Noodles81


    Gazzmonkey wrote: »
    You have so not a clue what your talking about. The world doesn't revolve around you. Also your opinion is irrelevant if you don't have kids.


    I love this phrase, it's so full of hubris and ever so exclusive...like you've somehow morphed into a new higher species of human by having a kid...homo parentius. Well done sir!


    Right, so one can't have an opinion now on children unless one is a parent? An aunt, uncle, teacher, friend, etc have never experienced a new born? No, we have and our experiences are very similiar to a parent's depending on the time spent and different family dynamics. In fact we have the added benefit of detachment while still loving the little blighter.

    How about parents like the ones mentioned in the OP's post stop treating others disrespectfully and be more considerate to others, including those without kids. The OP's time is just as important as yours and the baby's. And making someone whisper all evening is pure bad manners. Don't invite guests around then if "baby asleep in absolute silence" is what you want.

    And most people get on with it without making out they are the 1st generation to experience childbirth. You think your child is great which is only right but don't expect everyone else to think that too.


  • Options
    #135
    Noodles81
    Registered Users Posts: 296 ✭✭Noodles81


    Candie wrote: »
    I think lack of sleep makes it tough to stay sane at times when people have new babies. I'd cut people a lot of slack if they're late or have to change plans when they have new babies. It's more important that they're okay, get some sleep, the baby is doing well etc.

    Of course, we must all be understanding. That goes without saying. I would always make allowances for things beyond a parent's control. You have to be flexible. But, a little thought and a text to others goes a long way too. 90 minutes late, the child was napping, what was stopping mum from sending a text? Very annoying and a selfish thing to do.


  • Options
    #136
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    I understand that to new parents the babies are "your world" but some can't grasp the idea that other people have no interest in them and find them an extremely tedious subject of conversation.


  • Options
    #137
    Ilovethe bonesofyou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,688 ✭✭✭Ilovethe bonesofyou


    Noodles81 wrote:
    Right, so one can't have an opinion now on children unless one is a parent? An aunt, uncle, teacher, friend, etc have never experienced a new born? No, we have and our experiences are very similiar to a parent's depending on the time spent and different family dynamics. In fact we have the added benefit of detachment while still loving the little blighter.


    Hahaha. I'd like to hear your perspective on this after you've have kids. Until you have a child that is your responsibility all the time you really haven't a clue what it is to have your own child.


  • Options
    #138
    Mrsmum
    Registered Users Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Mrsmum


    Noodles81 wrote: »
    Of course, we must all be understanding. That goes without saying. I would always make allowances for things beyond a parent's control. You have to be flexible. But, a little thought and a text to others goes a long way too. 90 minutes late, the child was napping, what was stopping mum from sending a text? Very annoying and a selfish thing to do.

    Baby or no baby, I think that is frightfully rude to leave someone waiting for an hour and a half without a word. Totally out of order. It is actually fairly common for new parents to lose a lot of friends, not so much a big falling out just a fading away of the friendship, which I think is a combination of them expecting way too much leeway from everyone and everyone not giving them a fair amount of it. For what it's worth by the time they have third or forth baby, they are way more easy going and said baby is generally a much more easygoing little person also.


  • Options
    #139
    rgmmg
    Registered Users Posts: 537 ✭✭✭rgmmg


    Lefty Bicek wrote: »
    You might well think all that.

    Mollycoddling, 'helicoptering', and 'pedestalising' are not the opposite of neglect, a term which you threw in.

    Neither are they acts of 'responsiblity'.

    Which Bill Hicks sketch, by the way ?

    I just said parents were responsible - I was being sarcastic when I threw in neglect, hence the ;) at the end of the comment.. Tough crowd.

    Stop arguing with yourself :)

    The Bill Hicks parenting sketch - am sure it's on Youtube..


  • Options
    #140
    GreeBo
    Registered Users Posts: 27,094 ✭✭✭✭GreeBo


    Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »
    Understand what exactly, that the world revolves around your child's nap time???

    The child's world revolves around their nap time.
    The child is not self sufficient, hence my world revolves around them at the moment.


    boo hoo to you having to wait 90 minutes for someone with a newborn.
    Maybe you are just cranky because you soiled yourself?


  • Options
    #141
    The Infinite Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭The Infinite Fart


    Noodles81 wrote: »
    I love this phrase, it's so full of hubris and ever so exclusive...like you've somehow morphed into a new higher species of human by having a kid...homo parentius. Well done sir!


    Right, so one can't have an opinion now on children unless one is a parent? An aunt, uncle, teacher, friend, etc have never experienced a new born? No, we have and our experiences are very similiar to a parent's depending on the time spent and different family dynamics. In fact we have the added benefit of detachment while still loving the little blighter.

    How about parents like the ones mentioned in the OP's post stop treating others disrespectfully and be more considerate to others, including those without kids. The OP's time is just as important as yours and the baby's. And making someone whisper all evening is pure bad manners. Don't invite guests around then if "baby asleep in absolute silence" is what you want.

    And most people get on with it without making out they are the 1st generation to experience childbirth. You think your child is great which is only right but don't expect everyone else to think that too.

    Very similar experiences?? Really? You mean like as an uncle/aunt/teacher etc. After having carried the baby in your ever expanding body for 9 months while puking endlessly into the loo, attended every scan and felt it wriggle about and heard it's heartbeat for the first time, saw it take it's first breath, to spend endless hours awake every night as it wakes up demanding food/nappy change every three hours with the accompanying sleep deprivation, seeing it's first attempt at a smile or a giggle, feeling the vomit soak into your clothes after your baby pukes on you for the 7th time today...I think not...It's probably the most intense but rewarding experiences I've ever had in my life and though I have other kids in the family, nothing will ever compare to having your own in terms of similar experiences. As someone who has had other kids around before having my own I suppose I have the benefit of having both experiences and I really do think it's mad to draw parallells between both.

    As regards bad manners having a baby is an enormous life change and many struggle with the transition. It can be really hard to strike a balance between baby and friends. In saying that not into the whispering craic either though. I don't think we invited any around at all at that stage cause it was just so bloody exhausting.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #142
    Muckka
    Registered Users Posts: 498 ✭✭Muckka


    My sister has 3 kids the eldest is 8 the youngest is 2.

    She's never late for a family gathering.

    She takes parenting serious as in she's not one of these "my kids my kids my kid's" people, herself and her husband have a good life balance.
    Work well together and seem to be well able to make time for everyone else besides thinking I'll be late if I want to, and to hell with thinking of others and time management.

    It's all about whether your life is manageable or unmanageable.

    She's probably just that bit more conscientious about others than the average person.

    She's strict,fair and reasonable.

    I can see where a lot of people who are annoyed at poor time keeping and lack of respect for others time.

    Just because you have kid's it doesn't mean it's nice to put all your own in one basket, and let everyone else out in the cold.

    It's just common courtesy, nothing else.

    There's something to be said about good time management.

    As for my brother and his wife and kid, we're usually tucking into our desert's about the time they arrive.

    My sister is totally perplexed, as she manages three and they've just the one.

    She's been able to be on time when they were babies too, just to clarify that.


  • Options
    #143
    GreeBo
    Registered Users Posts: 27,094 ✭✭✭✭GreeBo


    Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »
    You just highlighted the problem. The "routine of a new born". They don't have routines.

    You just highlighted the problem. You dont have a clue about parenting.

    The whole bloody reason the parents are acting this way is to create a routine. They are not doing it to annoy you, you are not that important to them.


  • Options
    #144
    EdgeCase
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,471 ✭✭✭EdgeCase


    Because, to them, it's the most important thing that ever happened and every little nuance is new to them and interesting.

    It's innate parenting behaviour and you just have to put up with it.

    It's far worse when someone goes on for 9 hours about their Apple Watch tbh. Or, as I was stuck with once : every tiny detail of a bathroom project. There's only so much you want to know about someone picking the colour of grout for their shower tiles ....


  • Options
    #145
    Muckka
    Registered Users Posts: 498 ✭✭Muckka


    GreeBo wrote: »
    You just highlighted the problem. You dont have a clue about parenting.

    The whole bloody reason the parents are acting this way is to create a routine. They are not doing it to annoy you, you are not that important to them.

    That's not a nice thing to tell someone "you are not that important to them" .

    Why should parents act out parenting ?


  • Options
    #146
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    I understand that to new parents the babies are "your world" but some can't grasp the idea that other people have no interest in them and find them an extremely tedious subject of conversation.

    Especially when they tell you about runny poos, poonamis, and sick that come out of them. “Little Aoife is on her third outfit change today”. What drives me soft is when they put the pics of their kids vomit up on social media, or taking pics of them at the dr/in the hospital.


  • Options
    #147
    v638sg7k1a92bx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,913 ✭✭✭v638sg7k1a92bx


    GreeBo wrote: »
    The child's world revolves around their nap time.
    The child is not self sufficient, hence my world revolves around them at the moment.

    boo hoo to you having to wait 90 minutes for someone with a newborn.
    Maybe you are just cranky because you soiled yourself?

    A newborn would sleep on a bed on nails the problem is the parents who tiptoe around them as if they were a Faberge egg. You're a caricature of the concierge bulldozing parent that's mentioned on this thread. They attempt to bulldoze every type of obstacle from the child's life and all they are doing is creating undue stress for themselves, the child and everyone around them.


  • Options
    #148
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    GreeBo wrote: »
    The child's world revolves around their nap time.
    The child is not self sufficient, hence my world revolves around them at the moment.


    boo hoo to you having to wait 90 minutes for someone with a newborn.
    Maybe you are just cranky because you soiled yourself?

    With all due respect, it isn’t his newborn (some might say thank god!) and 90 minutes is not a reasonable time to delay or hold someone else up for. Sorry. Your world should revolve around your child but nobody else has to accept being inconvenienced by it.


  • Options
    #149
    v638sg7k1a92bx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,913 ✭✭✭v638sg7k1a92bx


    GreeBo wrote: »
    You just highlighted the problem. You dont have a clue about parenting.

    The whole bloody reason the parents are acting this way is to create a routine. They are not doing it to annoy you, you are not that important to them.

    And your kids are not that important.


  • Options
    #150
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users Posts: 24,559 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    Being late without letting someone know you're likely going to be late is ignorant. Mate will always say when he'd likely arrive but it depends on when they get their child down for a nap. It's up to be then to say if that suits or not.But he'd let me know if it went a hit pear shaped in the meantime. Which can happen.

    Someone else's kids may not be important to you but surely it's important to try be understanding of a friend that is trying to manage a situation where they are constantly second guessing everything they do, especially if it'd their first child. They should be fair and flag if they are going to be late etc but try and be more understanding of the friend.

    Some parents can come across a pain in the hole but they don't realise. If what they are doing works for them, then they don't want to change it because that just opens up a world of hardship around sleep or feeding.

    Tl;Dr chill the f**k out and give people a break


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #151
    GreeBo
    Registered Users Posts: 27,094 ✭✭✭✭GreeBo


    Shoesdayschild wrote: »
    With all due respect, it isn’t his newborn (some might say thank god!) and 90 minutes is not a reasonable time to delay or hold someone else up for. Sorry. Your world should revolve around your child but nobody else has to accept being inconvenienced by it.

    Agreed it isnt...so what?
    Thats like saying "its not his car crash" so why should he accept me being late because I had a crash.
    If you dont want to be inconvenienced then dont make or accept arrangements with someone who has young children.
    Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »
    A newborn would sleep on a bed on nails the problem is the parents who tiptoe around them as if they were a Faberge egg. You're a caricature of the concierge bulldozing parent that's mentioned on this thread. They attempt to bulldoze every type of obstacle from the child's life and all they are doing is creating undue stress for themselves, the child and everyone around them.
    You are yet again proving you dont have a clue.
    That infant that sleeps on the bed of nails when it isnt their nap time will then be wide awake and roaring at 4am because they routine has been broken. I sincerely doubt you will be on hand to help out at that time.

    Undue stress comes from NOT having a routine. The routine is what makes it much easier on everyone. You'd know this if you had children.
    Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »
    And your kids are not that important.
    They are to their parents.
    Muckka wrote: »
    That's not a nice thing to tell someone "you are not that important to them" .

    Why should parents act out parenting ?
    Its reality. You are not as important to them as their children are. If this is news or surprising to you then, well I dont know what to tell you.

    "act out parenting"? Huh? Who is acting anything?


Advertisement