Noodles81 wrote: » No she does not. That's very unfair. By all accounts she is making efforts to spend time with people she likes and cares about but suddenly she is finding her time being wasted and her patience being tested with no mention of any respect for her life and her time. Then she started to notice it in others, as is normal once you notice a trend. I will say in my experience any new parents I've encountered are in awe of their child while still being thoughtful and kind people. So as others have said, if you've already no manners, some feel having a child gives them a free pass to let loose their latent a- holness on the world.
Savannah Gray Laborer wrote: » Yeah I see the point about young parents seeming less over-thinky - but I think the advantages to waiting until older outweigh that (increased chances of financial security, relationship security, a long-term home, education completed).
Savannah Gray Laborer wrote: » Not seeing how the above refutes what I said. You need to have more work experience clocked up, therefore being older is to your advantage. Walking into a state job out of college like you did, is nearly like winning the lottery today. It worked out brilliantly for you and fair play, but it'd be disingenuous to suggest this is the norm for those aged 23. Hence the safer option being to wait until older (and late 20s is still grand and young) to have children.
Noodles81 wrote: » There's a lot of defensiveness in this thread, on both sides. It's an emotive issue. There are those people waxing lyrical about carrying a child for 9 months and the feel of them in their belly as they grow and the fresh new born smell of their offspring etc and the joy and worry etc it brings...and how no one understands unless they've been there. And there's others who see it, less verbosely, as you procreated like most mammals do and now you have to rear it. A life choice to get on with as best you can. Same narratives, different perspectives. Either way a little bit of respect for both is all that is needed.
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » I definitely think there's merit in this. Parents who have kids in their twenties tend to just get on with things, they don't over analyse the baby food or the nappies, or if the baby rolls out of the bed they pick them up and dust them off, the baby gets a bit of temprature and it's a shot of nurofen as opposed a trip to the doctor, when it's time to leave they just pick the kid up stick it in the boogie and hoosh it out the door. Parents in their 30's are torturous to watch. The constant negotiating "come on honey, put your shoes on, ok let's go now times up" I think first time parents in their 30's over analyse and "over educate" themselves to such an extent that they are paralysed of making the wrong decision so they do the something worse and make no decision at all. As the old axiom goes, indecision is final and the kids end up in charge because kids aren't stupid and they pick up on their parents insecurities and exploit it.
Ares Hundreds Tuber wrote: » Oh and I also agree that there's plusses and minuses to both early and late parenthood. Coming on here and smugly declaring your circumstances as the right ones and jeering at those who travelled a different road to parenthood doesn't really scream 'mature' to me.
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » What is the matter with these people that their kids are so precious where everyone has to tip toe around their timetable and sleeping habits or God forbid that a child might hear a loud voice!?!
Muckka wrote: » Poor aul Tickers is getting a right hammering, maybe it's good to see where tickers is coming from too. I can put myself in tickers place as well. At least they're honest.
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » Yes I think some posters are protesting a bit too much which seems to suggest that I may have cut a bit too close to the bone. Everything I read contrary to my post is just parents making excuses for their bad behaviour.
Ilovethe bonesofyou wrote: » Thread's dead baby. Thread's dead.
Muckka wrote: » Lol sure you'll get used to it around here, one day you'll be marched to the guillotine, the next you'd get a thanks. I don't take any one's replies or judgements personal, I just think sure they're entitled to their opinion. Here's a funny story, I told a member that they're the type who'd more than likely have me banned or infracted, they denied they'ed do anything of the sort. They waited for two days, like a dog with a bone... Then they had me marked lol two days later can you believe that. They're always embroiled in sharp exchanges anyhow. And rightly so if they are insulted, fire away it's their right
retro:electro wrote: » How are you so certain that this isn’t just their general parenting style and age has nothing to do with it? Parents of any can be relaxed/anxious/rude/happy/whatever, age doesn’t tend to be the qualifier. I’ve seen anxious twenty year old mothers and anxious 40 year old mothers and everything in between. What you’ve done here is taken two specific types of parents and assumed that age is the reason why they parent in the way they do. There are a multitude of variables involved in why this is the case, but these qualities and particular styles don’t tend to be age specific.
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » How can you be so certain to the contrary. It seems to be the received message nowadays is that new parents cannot be questioned or challenged because they're going through this period in their lives that generations of people have done before them for thousands of years with a fraction of the resources that parents have now, but for some reason we all have to cut them a break be and understanding because they might be itty bit tired.
retro:electro wrote: » Because unless you have statistics to back up your “parents in their 20s and 30s are xyz” claims, I think we can all safely surmise that you are just talking out your jacksie.
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » I definitely think there's merit in this. Parents who have kids in their twenties tend to just get on with things, they don't over analyse the baby food or the nappies, or if the baby rolls out of the bed they pick them up and dust them off, the baby gets a bit of temprature and it's a shot of nurofen as opposed a trip to the doctor, when it's time to leave they just pick the kid up stick it in the boogie and hoosh it out the door.
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » Parents in their 30's say they are giving their kids a routine when in fact it's the kids that are giving the parents a routine which is why you see so many of them running around in a flap with their lives disarray of hand-balling their kids between the creche, the grandparents, back home, cooking dinner, their houses are bits with junk and full of clutter.
retro:electro wrote: » Sound more like statements of fact than opinions to me.. it’s okay to admit you misspoke.
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » And you can admit that you tried to put words in my mouth and failed. I witnessed these things for myself which makes them a fact. Next.
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » Is this a recent phenomenon or has it always been the case? I'm beyond this phase in my life but I have friends/colleagues/acquaintances who seem to think that the world revolves around their kids nap or feeding times. I was invited to a christening and at 11.30am, the mother a child left the christening to bring the baby home because nap time was between 12 and 2pm. So what was the point in having a Christening if you're just going to go home! A friend invited themselves over to the house to introduce their new baby, she turns up 90 minutes late with the explanation that the child was asleep and couldn't be woke!!! So I have to organise my life around when your 6 month old child decides to wake up??? A new colleague has joined after moving back to Ireland from Australia where the baby was born. She's married with one child and is living in her parents while the house they bought is being renovated for the past year. Anyway, I can hear her chewing the balls off her father and snarking down the phone at the mother if the child isn't asleep at nap time or had it's arse wiped a certain way! Another one was when we were INVITED over to a friends house, everybody had to whisper because the baby was having their nap and couldn't be woke. Do they not realise that it's a self fulfilling prophecy, if you tip toe around the house then you are creating an environment where the child will wake up whereas if you proceed as normal the kid will adapt to the noise? What is the matter with these people that their kids are so precious where everyone has to tip toe around their timetable and sleeping habits or God forbid that a child might hear a loud voice!?!
Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: » FYI, biologically the "best" age for women to have children is in their late teens or early twenties.
Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: » Oh really? Well, I’m not a parent and I think you sound like a right moaner. Some of what you said had merit but then you included the co-worker example. It doesn’t sound like that co-worker is a friend so you’re just making a lot of assumptions based off eavesdropping on their phonecalls.
Candie wrote: » No, it just makes them your personal observations, not universal truths.
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