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11-01-2019, 06:20   #31
Sunflower 27
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Originally Posted by KevinCavan View Post
Men’s toilets are disgusting I must say. On occasion I’ve gone into a stall for a whizz, only to see somebody else has given the toilet seat a “golden shower.” I then proceed to take my own pee carefully. Then I realize that 12 angry men are waiting to use my cubicle. What do I do? I reluctantly clean the pee belonging to somebody else with a tissue before I exit. How do you explain to the next guy that it wasn’t me? It’s the closest I’ve gotten to feeling what Lee Harvey Oswald must have felt.
I hope there weren't skid marks as well....

Last edited by Sunflower 27; 11-01-2019 at 06:25.
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11-01-2019, 06:30   #32
uptherebels
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People say that women's toilets are worse but how can that be the case? Are they really covered in faeces and urine and used sanitary products? I mean, I have used many of them and the vast majority have not been remotely manky.

I doubt men's toilets are that bad overall either - I just don't see how it could be possible for women's toilets to be worse. Makes more sense that it'd be 50/50 mostly - although due to biology, women don't have the "missed" aim problem (usually). Or is it maybe a subconscious expectation that women's toilets would be cleaner than men's?
I used to work as a porter in a busy four star hotel in the middle of a city when I was younger. Housekeeping would clean the women's during the day so we would only do it at night, but they are as bad as the gents.
As for the gents, **** on the walls, on top of the toilet roll holders ( imagine trying to clean the key slot on top of one of those). Toilets blocked from ****ty jocks that they tried to flush. Blobs of **** leading in (or out?) of the toilets and up the lobby, nevermind the poo footprints.
**** in places that you can't figure out how it got there as it looked like a spray.
The funny thing is I didn't notice the blobs because of the colour of floor tiles until I stood in it.
As a young lad I never understood why places wouldn't let you use the toilet unless you were a customer - then I worked in a hotel.
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11-01-2019, 06:39   #33
misterbizmuth
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As a child after learning to finally do a "stand-up pee" I quickly discovered the joys of what I called "the wee wee race". Got years of great entertainment out of it as a young lad.

Basically when you're standing over the bowl taking a whizz, mid-flow so to speak you then flush the toilet. The "race" is to see whether you can complete your pee before the toilet stops flushing. Ah, simpler times! Doesn't work anymore with modern jacks bowls being so fast, thus robbing an entire generation of this wonderful experience.

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11-01-2019, 07:00   #34
fergiesfolly
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What's the big deal about putting the seat down?
It's hinged for a reason.
A man leaving it up is no different than a woman leaving it down.
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11-01-2019, 08:49   #35
Zorya
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Himself works on sites where they have portable toilets, one for men and one for the women. The stories he has told me about the men's toilets are incredible. He says that not only is their indescribable mounts of splatter all over the bowl and the seat and on the floor, he says the back part of the toilet cubicle can also be covered, like someone has backed in the door, bent over, already gushing. And then some people try to clean off their offerings and replace the toilet brush in the holder covered in shyte. He says it is unnatural. And there are poor people who have the job of going in to clean these places at the end of the week. Gah!

Anyways, enjoy yer breakfast.
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11-01-2019, 09:03   #36
Buttonftw
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Broken window theory in action. As soon as there's a bit of piss on a toilet seat it's gonna go downhill rapidly.
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11-01-2019, 09:15   #37
razorblunt
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I've posted in the Trivially Annoying thread before but I agree, it's particularly infuriating in work.
There's some incredibly bright, very well paid professionals here that can't piss in a straight nor clean up after themselves.
Don't get me started on the lads that just walk off without flushing.

I'd be fully in favour of using our swipe cards to access the loo and if you were the last person in there and created a mess you're fired and have to change your LinkedIn to "currently seeking new opportunities, once I've successfully completed my potty training refresher".
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11-01-2019, 09:29   #38
kona
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https://youtu.be/XZsYJfVCDqQ

Exhibit A.


Its nsfw.
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11-01-2019, 09:38   #39
whisky_galore
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Goes to lock cubicle door, lock broken.
Tries to hang up jacket, hook already broken off.

Why do people wreck toilets, what do they get out of it?
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11-01-2019, 09:38   #40
OldGoat
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On the issue of why men miss the giant target I think there are a few misconceptions. As shown by the overwhelming evidence, the target is not as easy to hit as some people believe.

Here are a few of the factors involved though listed in no particular order:

Back pressure. The volume of urine to be excreted varies the pressure of the flow thus the first jet is always a surprise. It might hit the back of the bowl, it might just dribble onto your feet. This pressure constantly changes and every piss is a voyage of discovery.

Flaccidity/Turgidity. This has an enormous affect on the direction and the pressure (see above) of the jet thus having a 'semi' will almost always cause a miss.

The size of the water target. This might surprise some but a lot of men prefer to piss silently rather than sounding like a titanic waterfall. We/they piss on the side walls of the bowl rather than directly into the water. This reduces the target size and brings the stream of piss closer to the rim of the bowl where splashback may cause some splatter.

Belly size. For those of us of a more rotund size it's a bit difficult to aim accurately when you can't see the gunbarrel, so to speak.

Gummy foreskin. Just like your mouth or your eyes, your foreskin may be a bit 'gummy'. This causes a bit of back pressure before the urine breaks the seal and gushes forth. The first squirt will hit the back of the bowl, the rest might just dribble out requiring a rapid readjustment of aim that invariable misses.

Urgency. When the matter is urgent all attempt at aiming becomes secondary to not pissing on yourself.



There may be more general factors and there may be some personal issues that affect the ability to piss into a bowl but hopefully the above gives some insight as to why we occasionally miss.

That said, for **** sake people, clean up after yerselves. Yer not fecking children anymore.
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11-01-2019, 09:42   #41
whisky_galore
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Originally Posted by spurious View Post
Some really shocking women's toilets alright.

You really would wonder about some people. What must their homes be like?
Probably quite normal, they only sh1t and p1ss around the place like animals when 'someone else' can clean up after them.
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11-01-2019, 09:44   #42
ongarboy
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I don't understand it either. It's not just pubs or clubs where the excuse of booze may be blamed for some guys etiquette! I've worked in the IFSC in Dublin for almost 20 years. Gleaming office buildings full of supposedly more cultured guys in expensive designer suits....but with disgusting toilet habits. Recently, in our 4 cubicle mens toilet, I had to walk in and out of 3 cubicles before I found the 4th cubicle being acceptable. i.e. that didn't have piss spatter over the seats or skid marks or unflushed crap in it. I cringed (ok I smirked) at the thought of a visiting client we were trying to win business from seeing this!

I like the way some toilets in the USA have disposable/flushable paper rings you put on the seat before using. Although if the seat is soaked with the previous user's deposits, that is still not enough of a safeguard!

Rule of thumb - Perform your No 2s at home at all costs - nothing worse than having the urge in a packed pub or club with just one cubicle and a queue waiting/smelling/knowing it's you causing the delay!!
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11-01-2019, 09:49   #43
Aiyana Famous Peephole
 
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I can't wait for the sjws to get their way on gender neutral toilets then the real complaining will get under way.
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11-01-2019, 09:55   #44
psinno
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Originally Posted by OldGoat View Post
On the issue of why men miss the giant target I think there are a few misconceptions. As shown by the overwhelming evidence, the target is not as easy to hit as some people believe.
Apparently it's why guys do better at physics.

https://www.tes.com/news/taking-pee-...re-getting-leg

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Originally Posted by OldGoat View Post
That said, for **** sake people, clean up after yerselves. Yer not fecking children anymore.
I don't think people have managed to clean their coffee cups anywhere I have ever worked so toilets might be beyond them.
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11-01-2019, 09:56   #45
Zorya
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Gummy foreskin.
.
This is a brand new phrase I wish I had not just learned.
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