"Money isn't everything"

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 8:53pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Lainey I like you, but you have an awful habit of making snap judgements about people you don't know from Adam! Taken from another thread -

I say 'funding a lifestyle' because that's what it is, or isn't. If one is unable to fund their lifestyle, money isn't going to help them to fund their lifestyle, because it simply isn't sustainable. It was you who decided I could only be talking about people who buy cars on finance and take three holidays a year. The same principles apply no matter what a persons circumstances - money isn't everything and simply having more money only provides short term relief for an attitide which needs a longer term solution and some major adjjustment in perspective.

Perhaps then you might not be so quick to judge other people just because they don't share your perspective of how miserable your life would be without money.

I think in fairness it would be taken as quite a conservative/right wing view to tell people to cut their cloth according to their means when they already barely have any cloth to start with. Fair play to you for getting out of being homeless. I know that there is much more needed than just money, but it does give you so many more options, for the majority of people who are not comfortable living in precarious situations.

ghost of ireland past · 13-01-2020 8:58pm

Perhaps the problem is the length of hours that people have to work.

I'd prefer to have lots of time off and not much money than to have to work and to have lots of money.

If you were offerted a basic income of 12,000 per year for free would you consider moving somewhere where it is cheaper to rent and just live there on the money? If you got a medical card as well?

olestoepoke · 13-01-2020 9:02pm

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Spike Milligan.

One eyed Jack · 13-01-2020 9:06pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I think in fairness it would be taken as quite a conservative/right wing view to tell people to cut their cloth according to their means when they already barely have any cloth to start with. Fair play to you for getting out of being homeless. I know that there is much more needed than just money, but it does give you so many more options, for the majority of people who are not comfortable living in precarious situations.

You say that like it’s a bad thing? I don’t see it as a bad thing. It’s based upon a very simple principle -

Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day. Teach a Man To Fish, and You Feed Him for a Lifetime

Just giving people more money won’t make them any better able to manage their finances. It will enable them to pay off any immediate financial issues, but then they’re back to square one the next month when the next bill comes in and they don’t have the money to meet it.

SEPT 23 1989 · 13-01-2020 9:21pm

Money isn’t everything but it takes the sting out of being poor

seenitall · 13-01-2020 9:36pm

"Money can't buy happiness. But happiness isn't everything."

That quote by Jean Seberg is like a gold standard of a life lived with a higher purpose, to me. It is almost saintly, if you know what she is really saying with the above, but in order to know that, you have to know a bit of her history.

mariaalice · 13-01-2020 10:38pm

What I have found is that people who imagine they grew up poor then to think like the OP as opposed to those who grew up really very poor they tend to be the type to just get on with it and are grateful to have a bit more as adults, unless they are cynics.

The One Doctor · 13-01-2020 10:56pm

Car99 wrote: »

10 days in Spain for 2+2 is €3000 minimum that's a stretch for most average wage average stress jobs.

€3000? Hah. Try €500 tops.

listermint · 13-01-2020 11:02pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

What I'm saying is that most people who say money isn't everything take for granted a certain basic level of comfort that many would struggle to attain.

I guess it's more a case of 'know your audience'. I wouldn't turn around to someone on minimum wage struggling to pay the bills and say 'money isn't everything' because tbh when you're really poor, just about everything is made easier with money. What I mean is that I don't think some people have ever been that poor to say something which is quite flippant.

All your replies come with a chip on its shoulder.

Theres people telling you that they are a bill away from trouble but still happy but you won't take that at face value. Your experience doesn't trump everyone's so stop acting like it does.

Pearlstone · 13-01-2020 11:11pm

I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love....

Calhoun · 13-01-2020 11:11pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

True but what I mean is that some people use it indiscriminately without even stopping to consider the circumstances of the person they're saying it to.

If you know your friend is financially secure and they're weighing up whether to take on more stress to have some extra money, then OK. But a lot of people say it to people who are really hard up without even stopping to consider how much easier the person's life would be if they had more money.

Apologies for the delay in the responding. Generally its a given that unless you walk a mile in someone else's shoes that you shouldn't really judge any person. As much as you don't like people indiscriminately saying it without thinking at the same time the language you used in your post was fairly judgmental.

If we banned general phrases we did not like then we would say very little to each other. We as individuals need to have the resilience to let it go, if the people we are talking to are really our friends then maybe they are trying to tell us something or maybe we need to explain to them why we need it.

eviltwin · 13-01-2020 11:17pm

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

What I'm saying is that most people who say money isn't everything take for granted a certain basic level of comfort that many would struggle to attain.

I guess it's more a case of 'know your audience'. I wouldn't turn around to someone on minimum wage struggling to pay the bills and say 'money isn't everything' because tbh when you're really poor, just about everything is made easier with money. What I mean is that I don't think some people have ever been that poor to say something which is quite flippant.

No, I think some people have learnt that happiness doesn't come from having the ability to buy stuff. Sure, having things you like and things to make life more comfortable will give you a certain level of happiness but there comes a point when you have that and then what? Real contentment doesn't equate to your bank balance and that's a very simplistic way of looking at it but it doesn't mean we don't do it, course we do. It's the most natural thing in the world to think money will make everything okay when you have none. I don't believe it actually makes a huge difference in reality though.

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 11:36pm

The One Doctor wrote: »

€3000? Hah. Try €500 tops.

500 euro for a holiday for a family of 4? No way on earth.

lainey_d_123 · 13-01-2020 11:42pm

eviltwin wrote: »

No, I think some people have learnt that happiness doesn't come from having the ability to buy stuff. Sure, having things you like and things to make life more comfortable will give you a certain level of happiness but there comes a point when you have that and then what? Real contentment doesn't equate to your bank balance and that's a very simplistic way of looking at it but it doesn't mean we don't do it, course we do. It's the most natural thing in the world to think money will make everything okay when you have none. I don't believe it actually makes a huge difference in reality though.

I mean I love the idea of living a basic lifestyle and having few possessions and doing yoga all day, but personally I wouldn't be able to feel happy or secure not knowing what would happen to me in the future without a pension, or needing to pay for something really important and just not being able to. That seems extraordinarily stressful. As much as it would be nice to think otherwise, the modern world relies on money for everything, from the roof over your head, to the food you eat.

14-01-2020 12:08am

I read your OP again Lainey. You seem a damn sight more financially better off than me.
Any chance of a loan?

14-01-2020 12:17am

Would you rather a job that paid 70k but you were expected to do overtime every day and get home at 8/9pm or 40 and be home at 5pm every day?

Stheno · 14-01-2020 12:25am

BrownFinger wrote: »

Would you rather a job that paid 70k but you were expected to do overtime every day and get home at 8/9pm or 40 and be home at 5pm every day?

What if the 70k job is more fulfilling?

OP is one of those people who appears to resent her life and where she has found herself and is disparaging to others frequently.

I have a well paid job but have financial commitments at the moment which don't leave me a huge amount to spare but I prioritise that money.

I also have a job where I can work 60+ hours a week at times

Am I happy? Yes it works for me.

My partner has a job where he works the minimum, hates the place and earns 4 times less than me. He also spends far less.

Are we happy? Very much so.

It's not all about money. This Christmas some of the gifts I most cherished were less than 10e and reflected far more than their cost.

When I am working late evenongs/weekends and I can ask my oh to keep me supplied with coffee that support means more than money

OP is being narrow minded

anewme · 14-01-2020 12:26am

It's nice to not have to worry about unexpected bills, or the boiler breaking, etc. A big one for me weird as it might seem, was to be able to select furniture, carpets, goods for my home that I liked and wanted rather than have to buy the very cheapest Bargaintown had.

Recently when my Mam's TV broke (shes on the state pension) it was great was just to replace the TV for her straight away without having to wonder if that spare cash was in my account that month.

I was poor and I probably have a phobia about being poor again. I'm happy being comfortable, dont need to be rich.

Padre_Pio · 14-01-2020 12:27am

Money is like air.

You only worry about it when you don't have it.

JMMCapital · 14-01-2020 12:27am

Greed is good

Say Your Number · 14-01-2020 12:39am

When you see rich people like Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington take their own lives, it makes you come to the conclusion that money means f*ck all really, it's nice to have the security and freedom that comes with it, but I'd place health, work that gives you a purpose and family/friendship above it.

lainey_d_123 · 14-01-2020 12:40am

Stheno wrote: »

What if the 70k job is more fulfilling?

OP is one of those people who appears to resent her life and where she has found herself and is disparaging to others frequently.

I have a well paid job but have financial commitments at the moment which don't leave me a huge amount to spare but I prioritise that money.

I also have a job where I can work 60+ hours a week at times

Am I happy? Yes it works for me.

My partner has a job where he works the minimum, hates the place and earns 4 times less than me. He also spends far less.

Are we happy? Very much so.

It's not all about money. This Christmas some of the gifts I most cherished were less than 10e and reflected far more than their cost.

When I am working late evenongs/weekends and I can ask my oh to keep me supplied with coffee that support means more than money

OP is being narrow minded

Hilarious and totally wrong. I've worked very hard to be in a good/better place after years of hardship and poverty. Which is why I never take having any money for granted.

I wonder if your partner didn't have your financial support and had to deal with an insecure living situation, would he be as happy? What he earns is irrelevant if the household wage is enough to live comfortably.

I know quite a few people whose mental health directly corresponds to their living situation which in itself directly corresponds to their income...people who are 37, 38 years old and because they are single AND low earners, living in overcrowded house shares, no privacy, no space to themselves, can't even have a shower or cook dinner when they want to, awkward if they want to bring someone home...of course having more money would vastly improve their lives.

lainey_d_123 · 14-01-2020 12:42am

anewme wrote: »

It's nice to not have to worry about unexpected bills, or the boiler breaking, etc. A big one for me weird as it might seem, was to be able to select furniture, carpets, goods for my home that I liked and wanted rather than have to buy the very cheapest Bargaintown had.

Recently when my Mam's TV broke (shes on the state pension) it was great was just to replace the TV for her straight away without having to wonder if that spare cash was in my account that month.

I was poor and I probably have a phobia about being poor again. I'm happy being comfortable, dont need to be rich.

Same...I think it is hard to get over this.

anewme · 14-01-2020 12:46am

Say Your Number wrote: »

When you see rich people like Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington take their own lives, it makes you come to the conclusion that money means f*ck all really, it's nice to have the security and freedom that comes with it, but I'd place health, work that gives you a purpose and family/friendship above it.

And at the other end, I lost my friend at 36 in the Recession because he could not get paid for jobs he did and was afraid the house would be repossessed.

Depression, mental health issues, alcoholism, addictions, family tragedy impacts everyone, all walks of life.

It's better not to have money worries on top. Dont under estimate how much of a relief it is to be financially secure.

Raconteuse · 14-01-2020 12:50am

These threads always become "I don't need to be rich to be happy" but hardly anyone is saying you do. Struggling financially is sh1t. Of course no longer struggling financially will make a person happier - that's still miles off rich though. There's rich, poor and a wide chasm in between.

NSAman · 14-01-2020 12:53am

anewme wrote: »

And at the other end, I lost my friend at 36 in the Recession because he could not get paid for jobs he did and was afraid the house would be repossessed.

Depression, mental health issues, alcoholism, addictions, family tragedy impacts everyone, all walks of life.

It's better not to have money worries on top. Dont under estimate how much of a relief it is to be financially secure.

I have been that person. Looking at the lorries passing by and wondering would I? Should I? When things are bleak and your mind brings you to dark places, it is not unthinkable that you could do that to yourself.

Then something brings you back. In my case a simple phone call from a friend. It is a long story and one I do not want to tell, but it saved me from myself.

Money obviously makes things easier in life.

HOWEVER, family, good friends and simply having people to depend on and talk to for me, are invaluable.

You can buy anything you want with money, but you cannot buy those items listed above.

cannotlogin · 14-01-2020 12:59am

Money is great and there's a huge freedom to having it but the phrase money isn't everything really rings true when you want or need something that it can't by you.....

Health, happiness, confidence, security, freedom, friends, family, love , peace of mind etc.

jaxxx · 14-01-2020 1:03am

No amount of money can buy the things that makes life worth living: family, good friends, love.

LaFuton · 14-01-2020 1:06am

my happiest time was when i was poor and didn't care. had my youth, bohemian kinda 20s, doin odd jobs to make the cheap rent and just about eat most days.
but I'd a lot of friends in the same boat so that helped and I was getting way more women back then.
doing ok these days, starting to have more than i need, all thats left is to keep getting more. depressing really.
money really isnt everything, i knew that when i was broke, hungry and 'between flats/sofa surfing' and it helped.
i know it now and it helps.

rob316 · 14-01-2020 1:07am

Family is everything to me. My wife and son that's all I really care about at the end of the day. I need money to live but breaking my bollox for a load of crap I don't need isn't the way to live. I know a couple of millionaires and honestly they are the most miserable people I know because that's all they have, money.

Don't get me wrong money can make your life easier but I'd that's all you have you won't be happy.

When you go in the ground at the end of it all it doesn't matter if you were a billionaire or pauper.

My dad was self employed spent his entire life working, I never saw him. 3 kids he missed there childhood because he worked and worked. He now drives a van part time for 250 quid a week and is the happiest man you would meet.

Raconteuse · 14-01-2020 1:33am

I totally get where Lainey is coming from. All the people who say money isn't everything are people who aren't struggling financially. They're not rich but that's not the point.

Imagine losing your job and not having enough money to pay for electricity bills, gas bills (so having to be really sparing in this weather), rent or mortgage repayments, health insurance - and then you or a loved one becomes ill. Imagine barely scraping by and having children. The worry and despair this all entails - the sleepless nights. Of course you'd be happier if you didn't have those worries, and if you had some left over for an occasional treat. That's still miles off being rich.

And when you're a young student you don't have much in the way of responsibilities so of course it's easier.

I won't ever be rich as I couldn't take the stress of such a job, but I'm damn glad I earn a moderate amount that ensures not being broke, being able to save for a rainy day, and an occasional holiday/nice meal/new item of clothing.

Calhoun · 14-01-2020 1:50am

I think there is a lesson here in being happy with what you have to a degree sure we need to look after the basics of security and housing ect but its also important to be happy enough in yourself that phrases like money isn't everything gets your back up.

14-01-2020 2:19am

had rough years and good years growing up, and had lean years working and now reasonable comfortable

money- steady, guaranteed money- is mighty stuff. no doubt about it.

but it isnt everything. plenty of good times in the poor years, plenty bad times in the comfortable years, money's a factor in yr freedom but not everything can be insured against with it.

by the way im loving the 100% hitrate of miserable rich people ye all know. all the rich people i know are fcukin *deliriously* happy tbh.

One eyed Jack · 14-01-2020 2:27am

Raconteuse wrote: »

I totally get where Lainey is coming from. All the people who say money isn't everything are people who aren't struggling financially. They're not rich but that's not the point.

Imagine losing your job and not having enough money to pay for electricity bills, gas bills (so having to be really sparing in this weather), rent or mortgage repayments, health insurance - and then you or a loved one becomes ill. Imagine barely scraping by and having children. The worry and despair this all entails - the sleepless nights. Of course you'd be happier if you didn't have those worries, and if you had some left over for an occasional treat. That's still miles off being rich.

And when you're a young student you don't have much in the way of responsibilities so of course it's easier.

I won't ever be rich as I couldn't take the stress of such a job, but I'm damn glad I earn a moderate amount that ensures not being broke, being able to save for a rainy day, and a holiday/nice meals/new clothes.

I’m not missing Lainey’s point. Those are worries over not being able to cope with the kinds of life events that can happen to the average person. Been there, done that, was donated the tee shirt. And that’s really the point of saying that money isn’t everything, that there are far more important things in life that no amount of money can buy. I’ve always said what is the point in having all the money and all the ‘nice things’ in life, if a person has nobody to share it with?

Accumulating wealth and maintaining it is almost a full-time job in itself if a person is that way inclined, they’ll never have enough money and will always be insecure about having enough money to feel secure. Thinking that money offers security and support is one perspective, and it’s not one I share, precisely because as I said earlier - my parents were wealthy, but they were miserable. Having all the money in the world wouldn’t have made them any happier, because they cared more about status and it was like others have said - the fear of being poor, that motivated them to hoard their wealth. For what purpose?

Because their perception of what it is to be poor was based upon their own experiences of what it was to be poor - they considered the idea solely in material terms and short term thinking - the next medical bill, not being able to afford heat and light, etc. They simply regarded poverty and people in poverty as beneath them, and it was that which they were more afraid of than anything - being anything like the people they regarded as beneath them.

I know plenty of people who live in poverty, and they are generally happy with their lifestyles. They don’t concern themselves with pensions and security and all the rest of it. They live in the present and don’t dwell on either the past or the future, and they don’t have any cloth to cut (to borrow a phrase Lainey used earlier). I said earlier that wasn’t a lifestyle I wanted for myself, but if it happened again that I found myself in that position, I know I’d be ok, because being resourceful is far more important than resources - at least being resourceful, one finds ways to manage as opposed to being consumed by worries about money or insecurity about the future.

That’s why I say that money isn’t everything, because I don’t agree that it is. I think far more important than money is a sense of perspective and being able to understand that different people are motivated by different things. Having money is clearly important to Lainey. It’s never been important to me, and not because I’m not struggling financially. I never considered myself to be struggling financially even when I couldn’t afford things, because my thought processes don’t revolve around being dependent upon money to provide security and support and all the rest of it. My thought processes have always revolved around people, and sharing what resources I have rather than hoarding them up in case one day I might lose everything. I think the fear of losing everything is an impediment to being able to enjoy and appreciate life and see that when put in it’s appropriate context - money isn’t everything, there are far more important things in life that if you lost them, no amount of money could replace or provide comfort for what has been lost.

Calhoun · 14-01-2020 2:29am

Deleted User wrote: »

had rough years and good years growing up, and had lean years working and now reasonable comfortable

money- steady, guaranteed money- is mighty stuff. no doubt about it.

but it isnt everything. plenty of good times in the poor years, plenty bad times in the comfortable years, money's a factor in yr freedom but not everything can be insured against with it.

by the way im loving the 100% hitrate of miserable rich people ye all know. all the rich people i know are fcukin *deliriously* happy tbh.

Well it comes down to your personal views and how you view money, like as i said if you are unhappy generally then chasing money and being rich wont make you happy. In fact some of the worst people in the world are those that only chase money, i think AH still has its stingy people thread as example.

Always Tired · 14-01-2020 2:29am

Money is like sex. They both seem much more important when you don't have any.

14-01-2020 2:36am

Raconteuse wrote: »

I totally get where Lainey is coming from. All the people who say money isn't everything are people who aren't struggling financially. They're not rich but that's not the point.

Imagine losing your job and not having enough money to pay for electricity bills, gas bills (so having to be really sparing in this weather), rent or mortgage repayments, health insurance - and then you or a loved one becomes ill. Imagine barely scraping by and having children. The worry and despair this all entails - the sleepless nights. Of course you'd be happier if you didn't have those worries, and if you had some left over for an occasional treat. That's still miles off being rich.

And when you're a young student you don't have much in the way of responsibilities so of course it's easier.

I won't ever be rich as I couldn't take the stress of such a job, but I'm damn glad I earn a moderate amount that ensures not being broke, being able to save for a rainy day, and a holiday/nice meals/new clothes.

The number one financial security I have is a roof over my head. Its massive I know and I'm very lucky I never have to worry about not having a place to live.

I can't afford to save, I can't afford to go to the doctor, I can't afford new clothes. Earlier on I had a coffee and thought shìte the price of that along with the little cake, should I have spent it?

Maybe if I did worry about losing my home then I'd be consumed by my lack of money. I don't know. Point is that even though I struggle its possible to still feel happy.

In fact I remember only last year having more money and being absolutely miserable.

misterme123 · 14-01-2020 2:48am

Deleted User wrote: »

The number one financial security I have is a roof over my head. Its massive I know and I'm very lucky I never have to worry about not having a place to live.

I can't afford to save, I can't afford to go to the doctor, I can't afford new clothes. Earlier on I had a coffee and thought shìte the price of that along with the little cake, should I have spent it?

Maybe if I did worry about losing my home then I'd be consumed by my lack of money. I don't know. Point is that even though I struggle its possible to still feel happy.

In fact I remember only last year having more money and being absolutely miserable.

Imagine you had said "ah money isn't everything, I'll treat myself to a coffee for a change". Could have really riled your mates up with your sheltered worldview.

14-01-2020 2:54am

misterme123 wrote: »

Imagine you had said "ah money isn't everything, I'll treat myself to a coffee for a change". Could have really riled your mates up with your sheltered worldview.

Luckily I keep good company

I have to go light the candles now to warm my hands over the flame.

One eyed Jack · 14-01-2020 2:55am

misterme123 wrote: »

Imagine you had said "ah money isn't everything, I'll treat myself to a coffee for a change". Could have really riled your mates up with your sheltered worldview.

If someone doesn’t share your opinion, they’re the person with the sheltered world view?

I guess that would make sense from your perspective.

misterme123 · 14-01-2020 3:03am

One eyed Jack wrote: »

If someone doesn’t share your opinion, they’re the person with the sheltered world view?

I guess that would make sense from your perspective.

I don't follow what you're saying. I was making a reference to the OP and the title of the thread.

Rubberchikken · 14-01-2020 3:04am

Money isn't everything. But it is important and necessary.

My immediate family mean the world to me and yes I can't take money with me when I go but while I'm here it does help to make life run that little bit easier.
I wouldn't like to be absolutely destitute and wondering where the next meal might come from.
I've never left myself without some money, that's just the way I am.

One eyed Jack · 14-01-2020 4:27am

misterme123 wrote: »

I don't follow what you're saying. I was making a reference to the OP and the title of the thread.

I know, your point seems to be that you grew up poor so now you don’t take anything for granted, and it riles you up when other people take things for granted like being able to afford a coffee or whatever and saying money isn’t everything, as though they aren’t aware of other people who can’t afford a coffee.

I’m aware of other people who can’t afford what I can afford, but I don’t live my life on that basis. That’s called a martyr. You’re not living in poverty now, why dwell upon the time when you were? I don’t think it’s an immediate indication of a sheltered life that a person doesn’t have to think about the time when they couldn’t afford a coffee. I certainly don’t think about it every time I buy a coffee. There are plenty of people I know don’t think about how they are going to provide for themselves in their old age, and I wouldn’t call them sheltered either, it’s just not something on their mind, and that’s ok.

I do understand why you’d get riled up about what you see as other people being inconsiderate or taking things for granted that other people don’t, but that’s because from your perspective - money is important. Other people choose not to be martyrs is all, because money isn’t as important to them as it appears to be to you.

con___manx1 · 14-01-2020 4:55am

A family member of mine became a millionaire at the end of the last boom.
Soon after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died a long agonising death.
His family have now squandered the money and one asked me for a loan recently.
I just earn an average wage but bailed him out with 400 quid.
Money can destroy some people.

14-01-2020 5:12am

I've lived both sides of having money and not having it. At the end of the day, for me, the happiness associated comes from choosing the manner of my lifestyle.

I come from a middle class family whose parents managed their incomes well, gradually improving on their lives. I've received a good education from both my family and from the various educational institutions I've attended, along with my own quest for personal development. I do have a life long shaking disorder, and have had to deal with a variety of minor learning difficulties (minor only because I mostly overcame them, or manage them reasonably well daily). I've never found myself fitting into "normal"/"average" social norms and tend to keep my contact with others to very controlled circumstances.

Professionally, I did quite well, gaining the relevant experience and references before I was 30 to rise well in Financial Management. I traveled, worked internationally, and explored a variety of fields within management. I made extremely good money for my age for a time, tried to manage the stress, and pressures of that lifestyle. I didn't really choose the the manner of my lifestyle though. I had reacted to circumstances in my life, and the expectations of those around me. I jumped through the hoops. The expensive mortgage, the nice car, the holidays to impressive places, etc. I lived a life that most people would consider successful. I was neither happy or content though. Not because I was ambitious and wanted more of the same, but because I wanted something different. I wanted a measure of freedom that lifestyle couldn't provide. I was boxed in by values that were not my own, and the expectations of others for me to conform to certain behavior. So I quit.

Now, I'm content. Happy? No... but then my experiences of happiness is that it's something that happens rarely and usually it's something I become aware of, after the fact. I live pretty much a minimalist life, which while I wouldn't say I love, I do enjoy it. Apart from the paying of my mortgage, I have no debts. The only responsibilities I have are those I have consciously chosen to take up. I have zero interest in playing the games that others do to conform within society, and I'm perfectly content to accept that my mindset is different. Most of my happiness comes from my sense of freedom, and the ability to choose for myself, rather than simply accept burdens dropped on my shoulders.

Money isn't everything. You can have a good life without having much money. It really depends on what you can accept, and whether you want something that only money can provide. I live in Asia, because it's cheap. Oh, I love the differences in culture and perspective, but it's mostly because I can have a higher standard of living here than I would in Ireland... and without the stress of living in an expensive country like Ireland... and Ireland is expensive compared to many other countries.

At the end of the day, it all really comes down to what you value in life. Generally speaking, if you want good money (without being born into it), you must sacrifice your personal freedom. Having money means that you spend money to achieve a higher standard of living, which brings associated costs and responsibilities. If you truly want to be free, then you can sacrifice time, to build a war chest of money, so that you can appreciate life later... Or you can do what I've done, and appreciate my middle age, but then, it's slightly different for me because of a fatalistic perception towards getting older.

This thread is full of people casting their own values onto others. Pretty standard in most threads. If you value money, you won't agree with those who don't. Pretty simple really. I've been there. I valued money, the benefits it brought, and I would have considered anyone who disagreed to be delusional or ignorant. Now, I appreciate a very different kind of life. Having more money would make my life more comfortable, but there's always a cost.. and I don't particularly feel like paying those costs anymore.

My life is not suitable for many other people. I'm single, and likely to remain so. I don't have any real interest in having children, or establishing a legacy. I don't have any interest in owning property, and I'm perfectly content living out of three suitcases.... but then, I don't particularly have any desire to live past 70 either (I have perfectly valid reasons, but no need to go into them)

Choice, people. People generally choose their lives. If you're poor, and want money, there are opportunities to change that situation (lets stick to 1st world nations, like Ireland, when you go nuts telling me it's not true). If you don't change that situation, you've still made a choice. Just as you might choose to accept the responsibilities or expectations that other people thrust upon you. There's still the choice to say no, and do something different.

misterme123 · 14-01-2020 12:48pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I know, your point seems to be that you grew up poor so now you don’t take anything for granted, and it riles you up when other people take things for granted like being able to afford a coffee or whatever and saying money isn’t everything, as though they aren’t aware of other people who can’t afford a coffee.

I’m aware of other people who can’t afford what I can afford, but I don’t live my life on that basis. That’s called a martyr. You’re not living in poverty now, why dwell upon the time when you were? I don’t think it’s an immediate indication of a sheltered life that a person doesn’t have to think about the time when they couldn’t afford a coffee. I certainly don’t think about it every time I buy a coffee. There are plenty of people I know don’t think about how they are going to provide for themselves in their old age, and I wouldn’t call them sheltered either, it’s just not something on their mind, and that’s ok.

I do understand why you’d get riled up about what you see as other people being inconsiderate or taking things for granted that other people don’t, but that’s because from your perspective - money is important. Other people choose not to be martyrs is all, because money isn’t as important to them as it appears to be to you.

No. Once again, I was making a reference to the OP. It was totally obvious I was joking.

mondeo · 14-01-2020 1:21pm

Money is everything.... What would you be without it ? Living in a bush in stephens green with other junkies kicking the sht out of you day and night...

chrissb8 · 14-01-2020 1:52pm

I know folk who are chasing the dream and they seem more stressed than anything. No one is asking to give them up but the reality of the world is that you have to prepare yourself and the best way to do this is through money as the OP stated.

Things get thrown out of you out of the blue if you have the finances to cover yourself than you can live a relatively stress free life. The people I know going after their dreams are just covering themselves financially month to month. I applaud them for it but I can't help but think there are pros and cons to each side. I would much prefer the security firstly and sacrifice a few years in order to then have the opportunity to explore things like hobbies, travelling etc.

Tokenisms such as "you're only young once" or "the future will sort itself out" are absolute faff. You need to have a plan and it's best to get this stuff done and out of the way early so you're not stressing out in later years.

car_radio19834 · 14-01-2020 1:55pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Here's another cliche, you health is your wealth.
Look at Steve Jobs... billionaire and no amount of money could save him.

But in more real world examples, if you had a steady job and didn't want a promotion/raise for the extra stress then money isn't everything.

That's because Steve Jobs refused medicine until it was too late.

jiltloop · 14-01-2020 1:58pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Here's another cliche, you health is your wealth.
Look at Steve Jobs... billionaire and no amount of money could save him.

But in more real world examples, if you had a steady job and didn't want a promotion/raise for the extra stress then money isn't everything.

That's not what that saying means. Your health is your wealth means that without your health you have nothing and having all of the money in world is worth nothing if you don't have your health. So actually that saying supports your opinion on the matter.

"Money isn't everything"

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