"Money isn't everything"

misterme123

One eyed Jack wrote: »

If someone doesn’t share your opinion, they’re the person with the sheltered world view?

I guess that would make sense from your perspective.

I don't follow what you're saying. I was making a reference to the OP and the title of the thread.

Rubberchikken

Money isn't everything. But it is important and necessary.

My immediate family mean the world to me and yes I can't take money with me when I go but while I'm here it does help to make life run that little bit easier.
I wouldn't like to be absolutely destitute and wondering where the next meal might come from.
I've never left myself without some money, that's just the way I am.

One eyed Jack

misterme123 wrote: »

I don't follow what you're saying. I was making a reference to the OP and the title of the thread.

I know, your point seems to be that you grew up poor so now you don’t take anything for granted, and it riles you up when other people take things for granted like being able to afford a coffee or whatever and saying money isn’t everything, as though they aren’t aware of other people who can’t afford a coffee.

I’m aware of other people who can’t afford what I can afford, but I don’t live my life on that basis. That’s called a martyr. You’re not living in poverty now, why dwell upon the time when you were? I don’t think it’s an immediate indication of a sheltered life that a person doesn’t have to think about the time when they couldn’t afford a coffee. I certainly don’t think about it every time I buy a coffee. There are plenty of people I know don’t think about how they are going to provide for themselves in their old age, and I wouldn’t call them sheltered either, it’s just not something on their mind, and that’s ok.

I do understand why you’d get riled up about what you see as other people being inconsiderate or taking things for granted that other people don’t, but that’s because from your perspective - money is important. Other people choose not to be martyrs is all, because money isn’t as important to them as it appears to be to you.

con___manx1

A family member of mine became a millionaire at the end of the last boom.
Soon after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died a long agonising death.
His family have now squandered the money and one asked me for a loan recently.
I just earn an average wage but bailed him out with 400 quid.
Money can destroy some people.

I've lived both sides of having money and not having it. At the end of the day, for me, the happiness associated comes from choosing the manner of my lifestyle.

I come from a middle class family whose parents managed their incomes well, gradually improving on their lives. I've received a good education from both my family and from the various educational institutions I've attended, along with my own quest for personal development. I do have a life long shaking disorder, and have had to deal with a variety of minor learning difficulties (minor only because I mostly overcame them, or manage them reasonably well daily). I've never found myself fitting into "normal"/"average" social norms and tend to keep my contact with others to very controlled circumstances.

Professionally, I did quite well, gaining the relevant experience and references before I was 30 to rise well in Financial Management. I traveled, worked internationally, and explored a variety of fields within management. I made extremely good money for my age for a time, tried to manage the stress, and pressures of that lifestyle. I didn't really choose the the manner of my lifestyle though. I had reacted to circumstances in my life, and the expectations of those around me. I jumped through the hoops. The expensive mortgage, the nice car, the holidays to impressive places, etc. I lived a life that most people would consider successful. I was neither happy or content though. Not because I was ambitious and wanted more of the same, but because I wanted something different. I wanted a measure of freedom that lifestyle couldn't provide. I was boxed in by values that were not my own, and the expectations of others for me to conform to certain behavior. So I quit.

Now, I'm content. Happy? No... but then my experiences of happiness is that it's something that happens rarely and usually it's something I become aware of, after the fact. I live pretty much a minimalist life, which while I wouldn't say I love, I do enjoy it. Apart from the paying of my mortgage, I have no debts. The only responsibilities I have are those I have consciously chosen to take up. I have zero interest in playing the games that others do to conform within society, and I'm perfectly content to accept that my mindset is different. Most of my happiness comes from my sense of freedom, and the ability to choose for myself, rather than simply accept burdens dropped on my shoulders.

Money isn't everything. You can have a good life without having much money. It really depends on what you can accept, and whether you want something that only money can provide. I live in Asia, because it's cheap. Oh, I love the differences in culture and perspective, but it's mostly because I can have a higher standard of living here than I would in Ireland... and without the stress of living in an expensive country like Ireland... and Ireland is expensive compared to many other countries.

At the end of the day, it all really comes down to what you value in life. Generally speaking, if you want good money (without being born into it), you must sacrifice your personal freedom. Having money means that you spend money to achieve a higher standard of living, which brings associated costs and responsibilities. If you truly want to be free, then you can sacrifice time, to build a war chest of money, so that you can appreciate life later... Or you can do what I've done, and appreciate my middle age, but then, it's slightly different for me because of a fatalistic perception towards getting older.

This thread is full of people casting their own values onto others. Pretty standard in most threads. If you value money, you won't agree with those who don't. Pretty simple really. I've been there. I valued money, the benefits it brought, and I would have considered anyone who disagreed to be delusional or ignorant. Now, I appreciate a very different kind of life. Having more money would make my life more comfortable, but there's always a cost.. and I don't particularly feel like paying those costs anymore.

My life is not suitable for many other people. I'm single, and likely to remain so. I don't have any real interest in having children, or establishing a legacy. I don't have any interest in owning property, and I'm perfectly content living out of three suitcases.... but then, I don't particularly have any desire to live past 70 either (I have perfectly valid reasons, but no need to go into them)

Choice, people. People generally choose their lives. If you're poor, and want money, there are opportunities to change that situation (lets stick to 1st world nations, like Ireland, when you go nuts telling me it's not true). If you don't change that situation, you've still made a choice. Just as you might choose to accept the responsibilities or expectations that other people thrust upon you. There's still the choice to say no, and do something different.

misterme123

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I know, your point seems to be that you grew up poor so now you don’t take anything for granted, and it riles you up when other people take things for granted like being able to afford a coffee or whatever and saying money isn’t everything, as though they aren’t aware of other people who can’t afford a coffee.

I’m aware of other people who can’t afford what I can afford, but I don’t live my life on that basis. That’s called a martyr. You’re not living in poverty now, why dwell upon the time when you were? I don’t think it’s an immediate indication of a sheltered life that a person doesn’t have to think about the time when they couldn’t afford a coffee. I certainly don’t think about it every time I buy a coffee. There are plenty of people I know don’t think about how they are going to provide for themselves in their old age, and I wouldn’t call them sheltered either, it’s just not something on their mind, and that’s ok.

I do understand why you’d get riled up about what you see as other people being inconsiderate or taking things for granted that other people don’t, but that’s because from your perspective - money is important. Other people choose not to be martyrs is all, because money isn’t as important to them as it appears to be to you.

No. Once again, I was making a reference to the OP. It was totally obvious I was joking.

mondeo

Money is everything.... What would you be without it ? Living in a bush in stephens green with other junkies kicking the sht out of you day and night...

chrissb8

I know folk who are chasing the dream and they seem more stressed than anything. No one is asking to give them up but the reality of the world is that you have to prepare yourself and the best way to do this is through money as the OP stated.

Things get thrown out of you out of the blue if you have the finances to cover yourself than you can live a relatively stress free life. The people I know going after their dreams are just covering themselves financially month to month. I applaud them for it but I can't help but think there are pros and cons to each side. I would much prefer the security firstly and sacrifice a few years in order to then have the opportunity to explore things like hobbies, travelling etc.

Tokenisms such as "you're only young once" or "the future will sort itself out" are absolute faff. You need to have a plan and it's best to get this stuff done and out of the way early so you're not stressing out in later years.

car_radio19834

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Here's another cliche, you health is your wealth.
Look at Steve Jobs... billionaire and no amount of money could save him.

But in more real world examples, if you had a steady job and didn't want a promotion/raise for the extra stress then money isn't everything.

That's because Steve Jobs refused medicine until it was too late.

jiltloop

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Here's another cliche, you health is your wealth.
Look at Steve Jobs... billionaire and no amount of money could save him.

But in more real world examples, if you had a steady job and didn't want a promotion/raise for the extra stress then money isn't everything.

That's not what that saying means. Your health is your wealth means that without your health you have nothing and having all of the money in world is worth nothing if you don't have your health. So actually that saying supports your opinion on the matter.

YFlyer

I can't understand why Eastern Europe is 6 to 10 times cheaper to live in than Ireland or Britain. Why is that?

nkl12xtw5goz70

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Look at Steve Jobs... billionaire and no amount of money could save him.

To a point. Pancreatic cancer kills 95 percent of people diagnosed with it within 5 years. Jobs managed to live for 7 years after his diagnosis, and that's because he had access to the best doctors, hospitals, and treatments money could buy. So to propose that he gained no advantage from being a billionaire ignores the fact that money probably extended his life by several years.

Mad_maxx

YFlyer wrote: »

I can't understand why Eastern Europe is 6 to 10 times cheaper to live in than Ireland or Britain. Why is that?

moldova might be where the average income per year is under 5k , the likes of the czech republic certainly isnt ten times cheaper , nor are most eastern european countries

riclad

Having money allows you to live where you want to ,
avoid long commuting time , live near family and friends.
Buy a house ,avoid being at the mercy of a landlord.
Many people stay in mediocre jobs cos they need to pay a large mortgage.
if you don,t buy a property , you will spend maybe a third of your income on rent.
eastern europe countrys are cheap to live in because rents are cheap,
they have subways and public transport.
no housing shortage.but wages are low too .House prices are low.
money is not everything ,but it makes having a comfortable lifestyle
with low stress easy.Theres plenty of rich people who are self centered idiots .
some older retired americans are moving to vietnam because the cost of living is very low, healthcare is cheap vs paying health insurance in america.

lainey_d_123

Raconteuse wrote: »

These threads always become "I don't need to be rich to be happy" but hardly anyone is saying you do. Struggling financially is sh1t. Of course no longer struggling financially will make a person happier - that's still miles off rich though. There's rich, poor and a wide chasm in between.

I think you're one of the few people who actually got the point I was trying to make.

Most people are going 'being rich doesn't make you happy' and I never said it did.

I said that people who say things like 'money isn't everything' indiscriminately are taking a large number of basic things for granted. When you don't have it, money IS everything. It's all you can think about. If you're constantly worrying about losing the roof over your head, not having enough to eat or affording petrol for the car to get to work, how can you be happy and content?

I can't really think of many cases where having money makes your life worse, tbh. Someone mentioned Steve Jobs - yes, he had a terminal illness but he lived much longer than most people would because of the medical care he could buy. And that was even after he made some bad decisions and refused proper care initially. Health is actually one of the things that can benefit most from having plenty of money.

One eyed Jack

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I said that people who say things like 'money isn't everything' indiscriminately are taking a large number of basic things for granted. When you don't have it, money IS everything. It's all you can think about. If you're constantly worrying about losing the roof over your head, not having enough to eat or affording petrol for the car to get to work, how can you be happy and content?

When you don’t have money, it’s everything. That’s not a common attitude to money, and it’s not all people who don’t have money think about. They have plenty of other things on their minds besides money, and they have plenty more influences in their lives which make them happy. That’s the point behind saying money isn’t everything - because to them, there are things in life which offer greater value and fulfilment than money. One can be happy and content without having a roof over their head, or a car, or having to go to work, and because they don’t have to meet those responsibilities, they aren’t worried about whether or not they have the money to meet those responsibilities. You mentioned in your opening post that money gives you freedom. Being homeless gives you freedom too - no responsibilities.

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I can't really think of many cases where having money makes your life worse, tbh.

You can’t because of your own attitude to money. Having more or less money won’t make a person happy or unhappy. It’s their attitude to money will influence whether they are happy or unhappy, so it stands to reason that if you don’t have a lot of money and you think money is everything, you’re bound to be unhappy without it. That’s the whole point of people saying that money isn’t everything, it’s not because they take anything they have for granted, it’s the complete opposite - they value other things besides money.

Calhoun

I don't think anyone missed your point but have commented that their are nuances to it and the phrase can be used for different meanings.

The original post comes across like there is allot of agression in it and is very uncompromising. Then again it was shared on thread that you are on the spectrum, I am not sure how true it is but it would explain it. I don't mean that in a negative way I just meant I didn't get that message from your post, it looked like a personal rant.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Has anyone ever said this who wasn't spoiled, sheltered and wealthy? It's right up there as one of the most irritating comments someone can make and riles me up every time.

The latest time was a friend of a friend saying it in response to our other friend mentioning possibly going for job change this year for more money...

I think most people with a normal IQ get that it isn't literally 'everything', but this phrase seems to come out of the mouth of people who think anyone who is motivated by money is materialistic and shallow. I have never in my entire life heard anyone who has struggled or been poor say anything like 'money isn't everything'.



I've met people who say money doesn't matter and it's better to follow your dreams and I think without exception they have all had mammy and daddy funding them in some way...
What do you think?

I think you have completely misunderstood the phrase. And, it's usually spoken by people who haven't money about those who have. It's saying "They may have money but it cannot buy peace of mind or health, nor can it heal ruptured relationships, or build meaning into a life that has none."

YFlyer

Mad_maxx wrote: »

moldova might be where the average income per year is under 5k , the likes of the czech republic certainly isnt ten times cheaper , nor are most eastern european countries

Czech republic average salary is 15,000 now. I'll have to check other countries.

saabsaab

It's a phrase that needs to be said more often today. Some people seem to be obsessed with it.



Of course i's important up to a point, some research a while back indicated that say a single man in his own house seemed happier as his salary increased up to 50k pa but after that there was little difference. I knew some old country people that had no interest in making money and were more than happy with the little they had.

car_radio19834

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Being on the dole is, quite frankly, ****.

I've been stuck on it the last while, thankfully have something half decent sorted next month.

Glad it's there of course but it's only a lifeline.

Nobody on the dole, well nobody genuine, is living it up. Very little security with social welfare unless it's a lifestyle you want to remain and bleed dry I guess.

Depends. If you got a house from a dead aunt or parent or something youd have no mortgage or rent.

Then if you had a missus working she could contribute a lot in exchange for doing the dishes, making dinner etc.

Would be grand to be honest.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

car_radio19834 wrote: »

Depends. If you got a house from a dead aunt or parent or something youd have no mortgage or rent.

Then if you had a missus working she could contribute a lot in exchange for doing the dishes, making dinner etc.

Would be grand to be honest.

Oh come on!

If ifs and ands were pots and pans, there'd be no work for tinkers' hands.

lainey_d_123

One eyed Jack wrote: »

When you don’t have money, it’s everything. That’s not a common attitude to money, and it’s not all people who don’t have money think about. They have plenty of other things on their minds besides money, and they have plenty more influences in their lives which make them happy. That’s the point behind saying money isn’t everything - because to them, there are things in life which offer greater value and fulfilment than money. One can be happy and content without having a roof over their head, or a car, or having to go to work, and because they don’t have to meet those responsibilities, they aren’t worried about whether or not they have the money to meet those responsibilities. You mentioned in your opening post that money gives you freedom. Being homeless gives you freedom too - no responsibilities.

I think for the vast majority of people, being homeless would indeed be an enormous source of worry, stress and hardship. Very, very few people would actively choose to be homeless.

I absolutely believe you can be very happy with very little, but then the money you do have is 'enough' because it's all relative. If I can live in a shack on the beach in Thailand and live on fresh veg and fruit and spend 300 euros a month all in and be healthy and safe, then that's enough.

You're making out that I'm obsessed with money because I need safety and security. If you're trying to tell me most other women would feel safe and secure while being homeless, I simply don't believe you.

You can’t because of your own attitude to money. Having more or less money won’t make a person happy or unhappy. It’s their attitude to money will influence whether they are happy or unhappy, so it stands to reason that if you don’t have a lot of money and you think money is everything, you’re bound to be unhappy without it. That’s the whole point of people saying that money isn’t everything, it’s not because they take anything they have for granted, it’s the complete opposite - they value other things besides money.

I just find it hard to believe this. There's a major difference between not being bothered about acquiring 'stuff' and not being able to afford essential things.

Cee-Jay-Cee

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Here's another cliche, you health is your wealth.
Look at Steve Jobs... billionaire and no amount of money could save him.

But in more real world examples, if you had a steady job and didn't want a promotion/raise for the extra stress then money isn't everything.

If he had a bit of sense and went to see a proper doctor instead of the witch doctors he went to for help, then me might still be here. In his case, money could have bought him the best medical care on the planet and saved his life but he chose the snake oil remedy and lost.

lainey_d_123

Lyle Flat Pedigree wrote: »

I think you have completely misunderstood the phrase. And, it's usually spoken by people who haven't money about those who have. It's saying "They may have money but it cannot buy peace of mind or health, nor can it heal ruptured relationships, or build meaning into a life that has none."

No, in this context it was very much said by someone who has never struggled and who has always been comfortable to someone who is hugely struggling and desperate to earn more so life will be a bit easier.

That's what I'm objecting to.

I also don't see how having money would make any of the things you mention harder. I don't get this either/or mindset so many people posting here seem to have. You can be financially secure and still have a life full of meaning, genuine relationships and happiness. I know for sure that my mental health is far better when I'm not stone cold broke, and the other things fall into place more easily too.

As I said earlier, money gives you options. You can move out of that flat where your flatmates are making you miserable, you can see a private physio about that chronic back pain which has you in agony every day, you can afford a flight to visit your best friend who emigrated to Australia during the crisis. And these things hugely contribute to happiness and wellbeing. Do you not agree with this?

Where does this mentality come from that poverty = authenticity and money = shallow life?

dd973

"Money isn't everything"

It fookin well is if you haven't got any or not enough of it, a bit like the Bill Hicks quote about 'Freedom', get dropped anywhere with no money and you'll soon find out how 'free' you are.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

No, in this context it was very much said by someone who has never struggled and who has always been comfortable to someone who is hugely struggling and desperate to earn more so life will be a bit easier.

That's what I'm objecting to.

I also don't see how having money would make any of the things you mention harder. I don't get this either/or mindset so many people posting here seem to have. You can be financially secure and still have a life full of meaning, genuine relationships and happiness. I know for sure that my mental health is far better when I'm not stone cold broke, and the other things fall into place more easily too.

As I said earlier, money gives you options. You can move out of that flat where your flatmates are making you miserable, you can see a private physio about that chronic back pain which has you in agony every day, you can afford a flight to visit your best friend who emigrated to Australia during the crisis. And these things hugely contribute to happiness and wellbeing. Do you not agree with this?

Where does this mentality come from that poverty = authenticity and money = shallow life?

No all you like. You're applying a context that's not the intention of the phrase.

One eyed Jack

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

You're making out that I'm obsessed with money because I need safety and security. If you're trying to tell me most other women would feel safe and secure while being homeless, I simply don't believe you.

I wouldn’t believe that either, because it’s taking what I said out of context. You made the point that without money you couldn’t afford a roof over your head and a car to get to work, and I was simply making the point that other people wouldn’t necessarily see that as freedom, they see those things as responsibilities. If they don’t have those responsibilities, that’s what freedom means to them. I don’t share their outlook on life, but I do understand it - they’re happy without those responsibilities. I certainly didn’t say anything about one gender or the other specifically, but now you mention it I don’t think the attitude is specific to one gender or the other.

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I just find it hard to believe this. There's a major difference between not being bothered about acquiring 'stuff' and not being able to afford essential things.

Again though, you’re taking what I said out of context to present all the negative aspects of not being able to afford the basic essentials which you and I could probably fairly agree on, but for other people, the things which we consider basic essentials, simply aren’t a priority for them! One example I can think of off the top of my head are parents whose children qualify for the back to school payment, who prefer to spend the payment on things like alcohol. To them, their children’s education is less of an essential than their own perceived need for alcohol.

Do you see what I’m saying? It’s not that they can’t afford to educate their children, it’s that they don’t consider their children’s education a priority, and they aren’t the least bit bothered about it. I don’t think you’re obsessed with money, and I don’t blame you for wanting to feel safe and secure, I’m saying that simply having more money doesn’t provide anyone with safety and security or guarantee freedom from poverty, and that’s why people say money isn’t everything, because they don’t place the same value in money as other people do.

I don’t think it has anything to do with being spoiled or sheltered or anything else, nor has it anything to do with being conservative or right wing or anything else you’d care to label it. Instead of taking immediate offence to the idea of someone saying money isn’t everything, next time might I suggest you ask them what they mean by that, instead of forming a negative opinion of them based upon your own attitude to money.

Wayne Jarvis

anewme wrote: »

It's nice to not have to worry about unexpected bills, or the boiler breaking, etc. A big one for me weird as it might seem, was to be able to select furniture, carpets, goods for my home that I liked and wanted rather than have to buy the very cheapest Bargaintown had.

Recently when my Mam's TV broke (shes on the state pension) it was great was just to replace the TV for her straight away without having to wonder if that spare cash was in my account that month.

I was poor and I probably have a phobia about being poor again. I'm happy being comfortable, dont need to be rich.

I don't think I have ever seen a post by you that I have disagreed with anewme. You are not anewme you are actually me, get out of my head! I feel the same, I grew up poor in a family that are just not good with money and I prioritised financial security early on and have eventually done ok on that front. I'm far from rich but I am comfortable and it does ease some of the many stresses of life in my opinion. It hasn't made me "happy" of course but it has helped me in my life a lot in a way I think not having it would have contributed to unhappiness a lot in my life.
(Also I'm aware this isn't exactly what the thread is about)

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Being on the dole is, quite frankly, ****.

I've been stuck on it the last while, thankfully have something half decent sorted next month.

Glad it's there of course but it's only a lifeline.

Nobody on the dole, well nobody genuine, is living it up. Very little security with social welfare unless it's a lifestyle you want to remain and bleed dry I guess.

As someone who considers himself a Church on Tuesday fan I'm sorry to read that but am glad to see that you have something lined up. I was on the dole for a long time too at one stage in my life and it's not something to aspire to for sure. I wish you the best of luck with it Church, I hope it works out for you.

ILoveYourVibes

You can be wealthy and miserable.

Money won't make you happy if you aren't happy already.