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19-12-2012, 09:29   #1
 
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Depression

This is a thread that I have been asked to start on the Farming and Forestry forum as it is something which seems to affect rural dwellers more than anyone. Suicide rates among Farmers are pretty high.

This is a thread which will offer people some information and resources to help with depression.

Please feel free to add sensible stuff to the thread. Depression is a pretty taboo subject, but at the end of the day, the only way to beat it is to talk about it.

Here are some links and resources:

Samaritans 116123

Aware

Mental Health Ireland

Pieta House have now taken over the services that were previously provided by Console.
Here are the links: http://www.pieta.ie/blog/
https://www.facebook.com/pietahouse/?fref=nf

Just a note for anyone who feels depressed, it might seem dark now but there is help.
Please read the stickys here and here if you haven't already or speak to a medical professional

Last edited by blue5000; 16-09-2019 at 23:46. Reason: new phone number
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19-12-2012, 10:25   #2
 
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Not completly Nationwide but a group I'm involved in supporting..

http://www.sosadireland.ie/

Drogheda, Navan, Cavan & Dundalk.
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19-12-2012, 11:43   #3
 
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Someone mentioned to me recently, how everyone in Ireland should be talking Vitamin D during the winter. Lack of sunshine can really get you down. Ever notice that after a sunny day in Ireland, you can feel a lot better. Seven Seas, with added Vit D - try them.

http://news.menshealth.com/vitamin-d...on/2012/07/11/
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19-12-2012, 11:45   #4
 
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I know some of us feel caught... trapped.

We are told time and again to run our farms like businesses, but with 1 difference - we are never allowed sell.

We have seen the shame and genrations of tutt-tutting when "family ground" has been sold in the past, so even if we get the burdens of the land and have clear title, we don't ever feel like we own it. Ever.

That is heavy for me.

If we really ran our farms like businesses, we would be truly free to sell - and I mean to the highest bidder - as suits the business. No-one in a farming family should have a right to comment on anyone else in the family selling his or her own ground.

If you don't own it, you don't own it - leave us alone.
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19-12-2012, 12:25   #5
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Hi Reilig

I think this is an excellent idea. God some of the stories that we have all seen on F&F this year especially have been pretty heavy to say the least. One could easily see how people could start to really feel the stress.

Reilig you are right in saying that it can be a totally taboo subject, so might I be so bold as to suggest that this tread remain in this spot and not be relegated to the important thread slot where it may go unobserved? At least give it a longer run than two weeks to see the demand/need for same.

Kind Regards

Muckit
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19-12-2012, 12:35   #6
 
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There is definitely something in the concept of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) at this time of year and going into late spring. As someone that has lost someone to suicide at this time of the year and suffers himself from time to time, I would urge all no matter what the age to DO SOMETHING to combat the mental rot that can set in. Visiting a GP about depression is nothing to be ashamed of - it IS an illness and a vicious one at that.

People of all ages be they 52 or 21 are vulnerable. As a farmer myself, there can be a sense that we are called upon to be machines or robots 24/7 on the farm... well we are not. We are fragile like everyone else. The that there is so much emotional baggage surrounding "the family farm" means that farmers can take setbacks very personally.

My brother was 21 when he took his life, he didn't talk. We need to talk!
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19-12-2012, 12:35   #7
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I think even if demand is low there's merit in keeping it, I'd expect a lot more readers than writers here
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19-12-2012, 13:40   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WexTK View Post

My brother was 21 when he took his life, he didn't talk. We need to talk!
Thanks for sharing your story WexTK.

I lost a brother myself to suicide some years ago. There was only two years between us so we were very close, as you can imagine. He was 3 months shy of his 21'st birthday when he died. I still remember with fondness the times we spent working the family farm together. Graping out pit silage into a barrow and wheeling along a makeshift path made from sheets of rusty galvanize before forking again into half ring feeders - this of course when pits were made in the corner of the field. In sunnier times, the two of us building loads of square baled hay as our father forked them up to us.

There was a really awful wet summer towards the end of the nineties (I can't remember the exact year offhand), every bit as bad as this summer gone, to my mind. We just got the silage baled, but it was a nightmare to get them out of the field. That time we only had the dinky Massey 135, so had to take shifts driving it to bring them all in one by one. The path we made across the fields to the meadow fields were so badly rutted that it was like driving a train on tracks - you didn't have to steer! Half way through my brother came through a gap, the check chains were loose and the bale swung suddenly to one side snapping the lift arm. We got a local fellow to weld it back and testimony to his welding, to this day it has never broke. Every time I see it now, I think of my late brother. Our bond too will never be broken.
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19-12-2012, 14:07   #9
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its probably one of the most taboo subject in the country which is why its one of the biggest killers (far worse then road deaths). As someone from cork i know of too many people that have taken their lifes, the cork and kerry area has a very high percentage. Lots of theory's why but i put a lot of it down to our attitude to mental health issues.

How often do you hear people talking about how "selfish" people who commit suicide are? This is not a very helpful attitude and really annoys me as most of the time these are the same people that say "if only they had talked to me about". If someone with depression is hearing that kind of talk then its no wonder they dont feel there is anyone you will listen to them.

Irish people are great if you have a problem, how often do you see family and friends rallying around when they hear that someone is sick, or had to go in to hospital, or has money problems. I would say that most people would bend over backwards to help out a friend or family member who told them they had cancer, but how many would be as supportive if they told them they were depressed.

If we can change our attitude to mental health then i can see a lot less tragedy in this country. It wont stop depression but it'll certainly lessen its effects.
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19-12-2012, 15:17   #10
 
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There is a history of depression in my family. This last two years have been fairly tough on me with the legal wrangle with my family over the farm. I talk to my gp on a regular basis about my mental health. I have the wife told that if I get sick, get me in somewhere if need be. But the worst of the stress and worry is behind me.

I don't mean to oversimplify life or mental health, but every night, I try to watch comedy of some kind. It might seem stupid, but laughter is an excellent tonic.

On the issue of the family farm and what the neighbours think, tell them to mind their own business and phuckk off. Who are they to lecture or advise. Be loyal to yourself first.

Last edited by Manoffeeling; 19-12-2012 at 16:47.
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19-12-2012, 15:54   #11
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I know people with depression who have said they'd sooner have cancer than have depression. They'd get more understanding/sympathy. Thanks for starting this Reilig.
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19-12-2012, 19:18   #12
 
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Hard to credit in the first page of this thread we have seen the loss of two young men, 21 years of age. My post makes it No.3, though not through suicide, but again my brother at 21. It's a terrible thing to lose a younger brother. For a lot of years I couldn't even think about the loss, but with time I suppose you get to to be able to deal with it better. It's even hard to write this down now.
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19-12-2012, 19:29   #13
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Agree with others here who feel it should stay as a sticky. Farming can be lonely. Someone with depression often won't go searching for a thread on it. Whereas they may just be on here and see it. We'll never know if it's enough to get someone to take action or pull them back from the brink. But it may and that for me makes it worthy of being a sticky.
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19-12-2012, 19:43   #14
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I thank god i never had first hand experience of suicide but just reading some of the posts above makes me realise how lucky i am.have an uncle who suffers a little from "nerves" as they say and thinking back maybe suffer a slight touch myself when under pressure and often find that i dont want to talk to family about as i am the MAN and we dont suffer from those things. if this thread even helps one person i would rate it higher than the rest of the forum and i value the posters and threads very highly!!
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19-12-2012, 20:56   #15
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Fair play to WexTK, Muckit & Bizzum for their stories. I lost my sister to illness a few years ago. I am so proud of her and we all still love to talk about her.

It definitely good to talk about the loss of our loved ones, helps ease the pain I feel, ever a few lines on here are good. It's the same with any serious worries bothering you.

So I am just adding my tuppence ha'penny worth to this worthy thread. Don't keep worries pent up inside.
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