Cheapskategate aka How Not To Host Your Wedding

rainbowtrout · 03-08-2014 10:27pm

emo72 wrote: »

How close was the op to the bride anyway? If you had a "friend" like that surely you would know what to expect.

Probably answered on the original thread but since it's deleted I can't check

Thread is reinstated. Saw it there a few minutes ago.

doireann08 · 03-08-2014 10:29pm

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I don't think we know the full story at all.
I suspect the B&G worked out long time ago, for whatever reason, their friends and family were not really their friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU, which is wrong as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. A sad tale all round, with no winners, and a tale no one should be taking any pleasure in.

I think you are right here, but still its a pretty vindictive thing to do.... very calculated and manipulative

They would have been better off just the two of them going off and getting married

rainbowtrout · 03-08-2014 10:29pm

Toots* wrote: »

That thought occurred to me also. 200+ invited and only 80 or so show up?That's over 50% of the guests. I've never heard of a wedding with such a poor turn out. I wonder how many people RSVP'd compared to how many showed up.

I was down at my parents' house for sunday dinner this evening and I was telling them about this thread. They were completely and utterly horrified and couldn't work out why someone would have a wedding like this. I agree with people who reckon it was about the money.

I definitely think that the overall outcome is that it's really sad. The B&G will have lost a lot of friends from all this but the ones I really feel sorry for is their families because I'd say there are a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

That's what was there when the bridal party got to the reception. Could have been more who left when they realised what was going on. Or they might not have shown up if word got out. Both equally likely really when only 8 were at the civil ceremony and they were due to have 25 for dinner.

Stheno · 03-08-2014 10:31pm

Toots* wrote: »

That thought occurred to me also. 200+ invited and only 80 or so show up?That's over 50% of the guests. I've never heard of a wedding with such a poor turn out. I wonder how many people RSVP'd compared to how many showed up.

I was down at my parents' house for sunday dinner this evening and I was telling them about this thread. They were completely and utterly horrified and couldn't work out why someone would have a wedding like this. I agree with people who reckon it was about the money.

I definitely think that the overall outcome is that it's really sad. The B&G will have lost a lot of friends from all this but the ones I really feel sorry for is their families because I'd say there are a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I don't think we know the full story at all.
I suspect the B&G worked out long time ago, for whatever reason, their friends and family were not really their friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU, which is wrong as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. A sad tale all round, with no winners, and a tale no one should be taking any pleasure in.

@ Toots I showed this thread to my OH earlier, and he wondered if they were just cash poor, and expected to have more money than they did. Best excuse I can think of.

Calmsurrender · 03-08-2014 10:32pm

Toots* wrote: »

That thought occurred to me also. 200+ invited and only 80 or so show up?That's over 50% of the guests. I've never heard of a wedding with such a poor turn out. I wonder how many people RSVP'd compared to how many showed up.

I was down at my parents' house for sunday dinner this evening and I was telling them about this thread. They were completely and utterly horrified and couldn't work out why someone would have a wedding like this. I agree with people who reckon it was about the money.

I definitely think that the overall outcome is that it's really sad. The B&G will have lost a lot of friends from all this but the ones I really feel sorry for is their families because I'd say there are a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

She might not have sent all the invites in the end. Or people didn't want to go to what they correctly perceived to be just an afters.
Pissy rainy Saturday = "will we go down to The X Inn for that wedding yoke? Naaaah let's have a take away and rent a movie"

uck51js9zml2yt · 03-08-2014 10:35pm

WDIC you'll need to keep us updated with the fallout after the honeymoon. This has to get thread of the year

We were on a tight budget for our wedding and did the meal for under 2,000 with 66 guests, all of whom were well fed and watered and ordered what they wanted of the menu. I paid

keith16 · 03-08-2014 10:37pm

Missed the original thread. Would be great if someone would post up a bit more background info / context.

What was the deal with the Dad not showing up?

rainbowtrout · 03-08-2014 10:37pm

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I don't think we know the full story at all.
I suspect the B&G worked out long time ago, for whatever reason, their friends and family were not really their friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU, which is wrong as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. A sad tale all round, with no winners, and a tale no one should be taking any pleasure in.

I dunno, according to WDIC the brides siblings were hurt that they weren't asked to be witnesses, part of the bridal party. Sounds like they wanted to be, but bride didn't ask them.

Perhaps the bride and groom knew exactly what they were doing. If they had her brothers and sisters on board as part of the bridal party they couldn't have planned the wedding the way they did without the family having a meltdown about the lack of food and general stinginess so they chose people they wouldn't have to reveal as much information to, and who wouldn't be in direct contact with their families. That's no disrespect to WDIC. But she must have been in a very awkward position Friday night when the family were rowing about the wedding and she and the other bridesmaid were sitting there like lemons with nowhere to turn.

And like was said on here about the payment for the meal. The family could have thought she was in on the plans for no meal etc.

WDIC is actually lucky in a way she had to pay for her own meal on the day. It saved her having to go through an awful rigmarole of being under pressure to produce the money the bride was supposed to give her and pretend that paying for the meals was completely fine. She could at least be genuinely pissed off about it.

Stheno · 03-08-2014 10:38pm

keith16 wrote: »

Missed the original thread. Would be great if someone would post up a bit more background info / context.

What was the deal with the Dad not showing up?

The row the night before apparantly

rainbowtrout · 03-08-2014 10:42pm

Calmsurrender wrote: »

She might not have sent all the invites in the end. Or people didn't want to go to what they correctly perceived to be just an afters.
Pissy rainy Saturday = "will we go down to The X Inn for that wedding yoke? Naaaah let's have a take away and rent a movie"

Or texted someone in the family going: what's the story with the afters, it says 6pm.

To be told there's no food.

Chocolate · 03-08-2014 10:44pm

It's entirely possible that one of the other guests found out what was in store for them as a result of the previous thread. The date and wording of the invitation was provided. The thread was circulated far beyond the normal audience of this forum. Look, even I happened upon it and I never read this forum!

If I found out that I was due to attend such a wedding, I'd be fairly quick to inform others what was/ wasn't on the agenda.

It's a sorry tale about a socially dysfunctional couple which kept me enthralled to end. It definitely belongs in an episode of Eastenders.

Ninjini · 03-08-2014 10:44pm

I am ashamed to admit this thread made my weekend.

An epic end to an epic thread.

Calmsurrender · 03-08-2014 10:54pm

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Or texted someone in the family going: what's the story with the afters, it says 6pm.

To be told there's no food.

Well there's that too, but maybe coz it was vague enough all the family member had to do was reply "not sure" and that would be enough for someone to think "ah I'll head in later sure it won't get going til 9" and then not bother or get sidetracked.
Seen it happen at 21st and Christenings and the like , when there's no clear structure and not a full days invite people tend to treat it a lot more casually.
Hope that's what happened anyway that the invitees weren't aware of the snub

oblivious · 03-08-2014 10:59pm

Ninjini wrote: »

I am ashamed to admit this thread made my weekend.

An epic end to an epic thread.

Its not over yet baby :P

Nothing on boards truly ever dies :pac:

stripedpjs · 03-08-2014 11:01pm

WDIC thanks for coming back with the update.
I feel sorry for all involved as it should of been a happy joyous occasion for the B&G, and their families and friends.

03-08-2014 11:04pm

stripedpjs wrote: »

WDIC thanks for coming back with the update.
I feel sorry for all involved as it should of been a happy joyous occasion for the B&G, and their families and friends.

I'm finding it hard to have sympathy for the B&G. They organised an exploitative fundraiser of a wedding in a very calculated way, obviously knowing the disapproval it would generate because of how secretive they were.

The families must be devastated.

Oryx · 03-08-2014 11:04pm

This happy couple brought self entitlement to a whole new level. The unfortunate thing is the unhappiness they have spread among their friends and family, which they seem oblivious to. I doubt this is the last drama that they will have in their lives. I just dread to think that they will have kids and bring them up with their values.

Edgedinblue · 03-08-2014 11:20pm

After reading the whole story, I'm bloody raging at the thought that they got money in their cards!!! And I wonder how much at that?!

KKkitty · 03-08-2014 11:25pm

Oryx wrote: »

This happy couple brought self entitlement to a whole new level. The unfortunate thing is the unhappiness they have spread among their friends and family, which they seem oblivious to. I doubt this is the last drama that they will have in their lives. I just dread to think that they will have kids and bring them up with their values.

Their baby will be born with its hand out haha. All joking aside I don't understand how the bride and groom thought their wedding day would go swimmingly. As word possibly got around about no food obviously potential guests couldn't see any point in going. It's traditional I know but it's just common decency to feed guests something at a wedding. I will never have the pleasure of my dad giving me away so I feel angry at the bride for messing up that beautiful opportunity.

athtrasna · 03-08-2014 11:26pm

I'm looking at photos on FB of a wedding at an Inn...there's a photobooth though. Can't see this B&G having forked out for that!

Books4you · 03-08-2014 11:28pm

I've have been stalking this thread constantly over the last week. Never laughed so much at some of the replies. Unreal the way some people have the neck on them to treat people like that. B&G definitely well suited. Thanks WDIC for giving us the update (and toots). I don't think I've ever checked a thread on boards so much as this. My poor phone is worn out!

Howjoe1 · 03-08-2014 11:29pm

this has to be a spoof ?

lazeedaisy · 03-08-2014 11:29pm

Just a thought,

Did the invites have an RSVP?

Normally you need to know for food,

Wondering if they were aware of how many we're NOT going to turn up? Or we're they surprised at all?

Toots · 03-08-2014 11:30pm

KKkitty wrote: »

Their baby will be born with its hand out haha. All joking aside I don't understand how the bride and groom thought their wedding day would go swimmingly. As word possibly got around about no food obviously potential guests couldn't see any point in going. It's traditional I know but it's just common decency to feed guests something at a wedding. I will never have the pleasure of my dad giving me away so I feel angry at the bride for messing up that beautiful opportunity.

I don't know if they did think it would go swimmingly. The fact that they basically spent their wedding day getting hammered suggests to me that they were well aware that it was a disaster.

CarrickMcJoe · 03-08-2014 11:37pm

It is rare I am stuck for words or a smart comment but I am truly dumbfounded at the antics of what can be only described as the most selfish, greedy, ignorant pair of people I have ever heard of.

whatdoicare, you did your best, I would not let my wife even go to that farce of a reception after being abandoned in the park, only to be quizzed by the hangry guests (most who would have had a very light lunch in anticipation of the upcoming feast later) as to when the food was being served.

Then taking the money from the cards, all she was short of was a shredder for them.
As rainbowtrout already stated, the first thread was a bit of banter, hairclips and Hunger Games etc, but it reality the bride had fractured her relationship with her father and siblings for the foreseeable future.

Move on and forget about her.

KKkitty · 03-08-2014 11:41pm

Toots* wrote: »

I don't know if they did think it would go swimmingly. The fact that they basically spent their wedding day getting hammered suggests to me that they were well aware that it was a disaster.

Maybe they wrapped themselves in a bubble about the whole day itself. No matter how much they skimped on the basics they could have thought they'd make it back and more on cards and gifts.

rainbowtrout · 03-08-2014 11:41pm

lazeedaisy wrote: »

Just a thought,

Did the invites have an RSVP?

Normally you need to know for food,

Wondering if they were aware of how many we're NOT going to turn up? Or we're they surprised at all?

There was no food. The only food at the reception was the wedding cake.

Merkin · 03-08-2014 11:53pm

I wonder when their greasy little mitts have finished counting their wedding money will they even have a moment of clarity and self reflection and realise that treating their supposed friends and family like sh!t wasn't actually worth it after all?

Tbh I doubt it, they sound truly awful.

rainbowtrout · 03-08-2014 11:57pm

Anyone else feeling like this after following the thread for the last 2 weeks?

CarrickMcJoe · 03-08-2014 11:58pm

Merkin wrote: »

I wonder when their greasy little mitts have finished counting their wedding money will they even have a moment of clarity and self reflection and realise that treating their supposed friends and family like sh!t wasn't actually worth it after all?

Tbh I doubt it, they sound truly awful.

They should be introduced to this thread, the whole flippin thing. Though I really don't think they would realize what they did wrong.

rainbowtrout · 03-08-2014 11:59pm

Merkin wrote: »

I wonder when their greasy little mitts have finished counting their wedding money will they even have a moment of clarity and self reflection and realise that treating their supposed friends and family like sh!t wasn't actually worth it after all?

Tbh I doubt it, they sound truly awful.

I'd imagine their actions will have quite a wide impact. If they did send out all the invites the WDIC made which was 200, it was likely to have included family, friends, work colleagues, people they went to college with etc.

Some of them they may still have to meet on a daily basis.

jake66 · 04-08-2014 12:00am

What a story !!!!
It sounds like the newly married couple deserve each other..
Meanness has to be the worst of all human traits..

04-08-2014 12:03am

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

They should be introduced to this thread, the whole flippin thing. Though I really don't think they would realize what they did wrong.

Oh I think they would. I think they just wouldn't care.

CarrickMcJoe · 04-08-2014 12:06am

Candie wrote: »

Oh I think they would. I think they just wouldn't care.

Think you're right, they would probably think it's a great laugh.

CarrickMcJoe · 04-08-2014 12:20am

fineso.mom wrote: »

The one saving grace of the day ....there were cupcakes!

But they would have murdered a turkey and ham sambo

roisinbeag · 04-08-2014 12:25am

Wow!!! I have no idea what else to say but... 'WOW'!?!

Lucuma · 04-08-2014 12:30am

Thanks so much for the update WDIC. I can't believe after all that, she made you & your OH pay for your own meal! What a liar she is !! And driving off with your phone & leaving ye stranded in the park.....wtf?!
I assume one of her family was prob supposed to ferry the bridal party around for the photos and when they didn't come
she had no plan B but still, that's no excuse! So in terms of the predictions that had been made on the original thread sounds like everyone invited to the ceremony was at the meal, ye didn't make it to the reception venue for 6pm, she didn't pay for you and there was no finger
food at the reception!! Oh and alot of the guests either didn't come at all or buggered off early...what an utter shambles. You were shafted bigtime.....the fact is with her family absent you & the other BM basically kept the whole show on the road for the bride. She would have been LOST without ye. And how does she pay you back? Abandons you in a park and reneges on her promise to pay for your meal!
Good riddance to a friend like that

Moonbeam · 04-08-2014 12:32am

I am not sure whether this is all true or not but it makes for great reading

The bride sounds so amazingly self centred and thoughtless that she is lucky anyone turned up !!

Tarzana · 04-08-2014 12:32am

Candie wrote: »

I'm finding it hard to have sympathy for the B&G. They organised an exploitative fundraiser of a wedding in a very calculated way, obviously knowing the disapproval it would generate because of how secretive they were.

The families must be devastated.

I really hope they didn't profit as much as they might have hoped to, if that was their plan. Very easy for an invitee to scrap the card they bought and drop in a much lighter one to them in the next few days.

Tarzana · 04-08-2014 12:34am

Moonbeam wrote: »

The bride sounds so amazingly self centred and thoughtless that she is lucky anyone turned up !!

The bride is taking all the heat here. I'm convinced the groom had a big hand in it.

04-08-2014 12:36am

Tarzana wrote: »

The bride is taking all the heat here. I'm convinced the groom had a big hand in it.

Undoubtedly, it took the agreement of them both to orchestrate this whole thing. I suppose we're just focusing on the bride since WDIC has had most interaction with her. I don't think she's seen much of the groom at all, has she?

They deserve each other anyway.

Stroke Politics · 04-08-2014 12:51am

Following this thread since it was Post of the Day, can't say I am not surprised with the outcome. The B&G sound like they are as tight as two coats of paint, or haven't a red rex between them; there is nothing else, to my mind to explain the meanicity and bad manners displayed at, what should be the happiest day of their lives.

I hope that they do not intend having children who have to endure that level of scrupulous meanness when they are baptised, have birthdays or a possible First Communion.....

ABajaninCork · 04-08-2014 1:12am

Oh dear. I was really hoping it would be all right on the night, and was reading the thread with a thrill of horror. It was off the scale un*******believable! I thought the wedding we went to at home was bad enough, but this takes the prize!

Very sad all round. No wonder the 'happy' couple got pissed (classy). 'Twas the only way they could get through it! As for opening the cards at the table? WOW!! It's a wonder she wasn't sat there with a calculator totting up as she opened the cards...

The pity of it is I reckon the B & G will go round telling people how wonderful their wedding was, and simply don't have the nous to realise just how badly they've treated their families and guests. BTW - I wonder if the groom turning up hungover was a clue?

Thanks to WDIC and Toots for keeping us royally entertained for the last two weeks. WDIC - you and the other unfortunate BM are absolute heroines for behaving in such a dignified manner. Lots of others would've lost the plot altogether, especially after being stranded without a backward glance!

Fred Swanson · 04-08-2014 1:18am

This post has been deleted.

ABajaninCork · 04-08-2014 1:20am

Fred Swanson wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

LOOOL!

the_syco · 04-08-2014 1:38am

CarrickMcJoe wrote: »

As rainbowtrout already stated, the first thread was a bit of banter, hairclips and Hunger Games etc, but it reality the bride had fractured her relationship with her father and siblings for the foreseeable future.

I hope the bride wakes up to a nice large bill. As both families have pretty much deserted her, I can't see the marriage lasting that long.

ohohseven · 04-08-2014 1:44am

I've read this thread and the thread before hand and I am struggling to find what the big deal is.

Dodd · 04-08-2014 1:47am

I would like to say fair play to the mods in this part of boards for letting this thread go forward.
I know the op was deleted but many were following it and it was let to reach an end of story.

Well done mods.

Many threads on boards just get deleted.

Thanks OP for the update and hope you have a great future.

mikeymouse · 04-08-2014 2:45am

ohohseven wrote: »

I've read this thread and the thread before hand and I am struggling to find what the big deal is.

wind up

newbee22 · 04-08-2014 3:30am

Just arrived home from a night out- my weekend. Has been made by seeing this thread reiopened! oP you deserve a medal for surviving the wedding!

Cheapskategate aka How Not To Host Your Wedding

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