Cheapskategate aka How Not To Host Your Wedding

Stheno

spygirl wrote: »

I feel so sorry for her family and friends. As well as being outraged by the behavior they must have been mortified. Terribly sad all round. Really not sure what I expected the ending to be to this story. WDIC...you went above and beyond and thank you for posting the update.

I would wonder if the small amount of guests at the"reception" was as a result of family telling people at the last minute?

doireann08

Stheno wrote: »

I would wonder if the small amount of guests at the"reception" was as a result of family telling people at the last minute?

+1, i would definitely say this is the case

Calmsurrender

fineso.mom wrote: »

The one saving grace of the day ....there were cupcakes!

Whole cupcakes too... She missed a trick there ...

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

doireann08

Just curious if the penny dropped at ALL for the B and groom as to what they have done. Did they just drink themselves into oblivion to block it out. I find it hard to believe that anyone could be so callous to treat friends or family in this way

Honestly, I have never heard anything like this..I am still flabbergasted

Calmsurrender

FouxDaFaFa wrote: »

As bad as there not being food at the reception was, I think the worst thing was stranding you and the other bridesmaid after the photos. It would be bad enough if they were like "make your own way" but to not even tell you and just let you stand there, waiting? It's rare you hear of people being so self-involved.

This is the part that stood out for me too... Was the bride langers on all the champagne at This point !?

emo72

How close was the op to the bride anyway? If you had a "friend" like that surely you would know what to expect.

Probably answered on the original thread but since it's deleted I can't check

Toots

Stheno wrote: »

I would wonder if the small amount of guests at the"reception" was as a result of family telling people at the last minute?

That thought occurred to me also. 200+ invited and only 80 or so show up?That's over 50% of the guests. I've never heard of a wedding with such a poor turn out. I wonder how many people RSVP'd compared to how many showed up.

I was down at my parents' house for sunday dinner this evening and I was telling them about this thread. They were completely and utterly horrified and couldn't work out why someone would have a wedding like this. I agree with people who reckon it was about the money.

I definitely think that the overall outcome is that it's really sad. The B&G will have lost a lot of friends from all this but the ones I really feel sorry for is their families because I'd say there are a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

shewasdiesel

doireann08 wrote: »

Just curious if the penny dropped at ALL for the B and groom as to what they have done. Did they just drink themselves into oblivion to block it out. I find it hard to believe that anyone could be so callous to treat friends or family in this way

Honestly, I have never heard anything like this..I am still flabbergasted

I don't think we know the full story at all.
I suspect the B&G worked out long time ago, for whatever reason, their friends and family were not really their friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU, which is wrong as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. A sad tale all round, with no winners, and a tale no one should be taking any pleasure in.

eviltwin

Its a terrible way to treat people but no one died and it seems the relationship is over and no great loss to WDIC, all the guests will get over it. Its the family and the issues there independent of the wedding that are a real concern, hopefully they can sort them out and move on.

Things will seem a bit quieter on the wedding forum from now on :pac:

rainbowtrout

emo72 wrote: »

How close was the op to the bride anyway? If you had a "friend" like that surely you would know what to expect.

Probably answered on the original thread but since it's deleted I can't check

Thread is reinstated. Saw it there a few minutes ago.

doireann08

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I don't think we know the full story at all.
I suspect the B&G worked out long time ago, for whatever reason, their friends and family were not really their friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU, which is wrong as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. A sad tale all round, with no winners, and a tale no one should be taking any pleasure in.

I think you are right here, but still its a pretty vindictive thing to do.... very calculated and manipulative

They would have been better off just the two of them going off and getting married

rainbowtrout

Toots* wrote: »

That thought occurred to me also. 200+ invited and only 80 or so show up?That's over 50% of the guests. I've never heard of a wedding with such a poor turn out. I wonder how many people RSVP'd compared to how many showed up.

I was down at my parents' house for sunday dinner this evening and I was telling them about this thread. They were completely and utterly horrified and couldn't work out why someone would have a wedding like this. I agree with people who reckon it was about the money.

I definitely think that the overall outcome is that it's really sad. The B&G will have lost a lot of friends from all this but the ones I really feel sorry for is their families because I'd say there are a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

That's what was there when the bridal party got to the reception. Could have been more who left when they realised what was going on. Or they might not have shown up if word got out. Both equally likely really when only 8 were at the civil ceremony and they were due to have 25 for dinner.

Stheno

Toots* wrote: »

That thought occurred to me also. 200+ invited and only 80 or so show up?That's over 50% of the guests. I've never heard of a wedding with such a poor turn out. I wonder how many people RSVP'd compared to how many showed up.

I was down at my parents' house for sunday dinner this evening and I was telling them about this thread. They were completely and utterly horrified and couldn't work out why someone would have a wedding like this. I agree with people who reckon it was about the money.

I definitely think that the overall outcome is that it's really sad. The B&G will have lost a lot of friends from all this but the ones I really feel sorry for is their families because I'd say there are a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I don't think we know the full story at all.
I suspect the B&G worked out long time ago, for whatever reason, their friends and family were not really their friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU, which is wrong as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. A sad tale all round, with no winners, and a tale no one should be taking any pleasure in.

@ Toots I showed this thread to my OH earlier, and he wondered if they were just cash poor, and expected to have more money than they did. Best excuse I can think of.

Calmsurrender

Toots* wrote: »

That thought occurred to me also. 200+ invited and only 80 or so show up?That's over 50% of the guests. I've never heard of a wedding with such a poor turn out. I wonder how many people RSVP'd compared to how many showed up.

I was down at my parents' house for sunday dinner this evening and I was telling them about this thread. They were completely and utterly horrified and couldn't work out why someone would have a wedding like this. I agree with people who reckon it was about the money.

I definitely think that the overall outcome is that it's really sad. The B&G will have lost a lot of friends from all this but the ones I really feel sorry for is their families because I'd say there are a lot of hurt feelings on both sides.

She might not have sent all the invites in the end. Or people didn't want to go to what they correctly perceived to be just an afters.
Pissy rainy Saturday = "will we go down to The X Inn for that wedding yoke? Naaaah let's have a take away and rent a movie"

uck51js9zml2yt

WDIC you'll need to keep us updated with the fallout after the honeymoon. This has to get thread of the year

We were on a tight budget for our wedding and did the meal for under 2,000 with 66 guests, all of whom were well fed and watered and ordered what they wanted of the menu. I paid

keith16

Missed the original thread. Would be great if someone would post up a bit more background info / context.

What was the deal with the Dad not showing up?

rainbowtrout

shewasdiesel wrote: »

I don't think we know the full story at all.
I suspect the B&G worked out long time ago, for whatever reason, their friends and family were not really their friends and family behind their back, and decided to do a massive FU, which is wrong as well. Two wrongs don't make a right. A sad tale all round, with no winners, and a tale no one should be taking any pleasure in.

I dunno, according to WDIC the brides siblings were hurt that they weren't asked to be witnesses, part of the bridal party. Sounds like they wanted to be, but bride didn't ask them.

Perhaps the bride and groom knew exactly what they were doing. If they had her brothers and sisters on board as part of the bridal party they couldn't have planned the wedding the way they did without the family having a meltdown about the lack of food and general stinginess so they chose people they wouldn't have to reveal as much information to, and who wouldn't be in direct contact with their families. That's no disrespect to WDIC. But she must have been in a very awkward position Friday night when the family were rowing about the wedding and she and the other bridesmaid were sitting there like lemons with nowhere to turn.

And like was said on here about the payment for the meal. The family could have thought she was in on the plans for no meal etc.

WDIC is actually lucky in a way she had to pay for her own meal on the day. It saved her having to go through an awful rigmarole of being under pressure to produce the money the bride was supposed to give her and pretend that paying for the meals was completely fine. She could at least be genuinely pissed off about it.

Stheno

keith16 wrote: »

Missed the original thread. Would be great if someone would post up a bit more background info / context.

What was the deal with the Dad not showing up?

The row the night before apparantly

rainbowtrout

Calmsurrender wrote: »

She might not have sent all the invites in the end. Or people didn't want to go to what they correctly perceived to be just an afters.
Pissy rainy Saturday = "will we go down to The X Inn for that wedding yoke? Naaaah let's have a take away and rent a movie"

Or texted someone in the family going: what's the story with the afters, it says 6pm.

To be told there's no food.

Chocolate

It's entirely possible that one of the other guests found out what was in store for them as a result of the previous thread. The date and wording of the invitation was provided. The thread was circulated far beyond the normal audience of this forum. Look, even I happened upon it and I never read this forum!

If I found out that I was due to attend such a wedding, I'd be fairly quick to inform others what was/ wasn't on the agenda.

It's a sorry tale about a socially dysfunctional couple which kept me enthralled to end. It definitely belongs in an episode of Eastenders.

Ninjini

I am ashamed to admit this thread made my weekend.

An epic end to an epic thread.

Calmsurrender

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Or texted someone in the family going: what's the story with the afters, it says 6pm.

To be told there's no food.

Well there's that too, but maybe coz it was vague enough all the family member had to do was reply "not sure" and that would be enough for someone to think "ah I'll head in later sure it won't get going til 9" and then not bother or get sidetracked.
Seen it happen at 21st and Christenings and the like , when there's no clear structure and not a full days invite people tend to treat it a lot more casually.
Hope that's what happened anyway that the invitees weren't aware of the snub

oblivious

Ninjini wrote: »

I am ashamed to admit this thread made my weekend.

An epic end to an epic thread.

Its not over yet baby :P

Nothing on boards truly ever dies :pac:

stripedpjs

WDIC thanks for coming back with the update.
I feel sorry for all involved as it should of been a happy joyous occasion for the B&G, and their families and friends.

stripedpjs

stripedpjs wrote: »

WDIC thanks for coming back with the update.
I feel sorry for all involved as it should of been a happy joyous occasion for the B&G, and their families and friends.

I'm finding it hard to have sympathy for the B&G. They organised an exploitative fundraiser of a wedding in a very calculated way, obviously knowing the disapproval it would generate because of how secretive they were.

The families must be devastated.

Oryx

This happy couple brought self entitlement to a whole new level. The unfortunate thing is the unhappiness they have spread among their friends and family, which they seem oblivious to. I doubt this is the last drama that they will have in their lives. I just dread to think that they will have kids and bring them up with their values.

Edgedinblue

After reading the whole story, I'm bloody raging at the thought that they got money in their cards!!! And I wonder how much at that?!

KKkitty

Oryx wrote: »

This happy couple brought self entitlement to a whole new level. The unfortunate thing is the unhappiness they have spread among their friends and family, which they seem oblivious to. I doubt this is the last drama that they will have in their lives. I just dread to think that they will have kids and bring them up with their values.

Their baby will be born with its hand out haha. All joking aside I don't understand how the bride and groom thought their wedding day would go swimmingly. As word possibly got around about no food obviously potential guests couldn't see any point in going. It's traditional I know but it's just common decency to feed guests something at a wedding. I will never have the pleasure of my dad giving me away so I feel angry at the bride for messing up that beautiful opportunity.

athtrasna

I'm looking at photos on FB of a wedding at an Inn...there's a photobooth though. Can't see this B&G having forked out for that!