Ghosted after a few good dates

28-04-2021 11:49am

Silliness upon silliness.

She cut off contact. That was her choice, and you should respect it. If she wants to get in contact with you again, she will do so. If not, leave it.

Lose the scarcity mentality. Find someone else, perhaps someone more worthy of your attention.

And if she does contact you again, fine... but don't wait for it. Personally, I wouldn't give her the time of day, since if she's capable of ghosting you once, she's more than capable of doing it a second time, after you've invested more time and emotional collateral with her.

gary550 · 28-04-2021 12:02pm

SnuggyBear wrote: »

Worst advice ever. Have some self respect man

I'd agree, it's shockingly bad advice.

You'd swear she (or women in general) were a gold plated scarcity going by some comments posts this thread

She's a low quality person, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

Feisar · 28-04-2021 12:17pm

gary550 wrote: »

I'd agree, it's shockingly bad advice.

You'd swear she (or women in general) were a gold plated scarcity going by some comments posts this thread

She's a low quality person, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

But if she's screaming hot... plus the whole "head space" could mean a bit of a header/daddy issues, so one could be in for a good time. I'd say don't expend to much effort but don't shut her out either. And take a valuable lesson from this, no eggs in the one basket. One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

Leg End Reject · 28-04-2021 1:34pm

Feisar wrote: »

But if she's screaming hot... plus the whole "head space" could mean a bit of a header/daddy issues, so one could be in for a good time. I'd say don't expend to much effort but don't shut her out either. And take a valuable lesson from this, no eggs in the one basket. One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

Jaysis, that's a lot of riding!

Feisar · 28-04-2021 1:39pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Jaysis, that's a lot of riding!

Yea olde glory days!

B.A._Baracus · 28-04-2021 2:34pm

Mimon wrote: »

Don't think you've read the room very well. OP doesn't come across as the sort of person just out for a shag.

Hahahaha
You actually believe that?

Hold on I got to ring up the Sunday world and tell them a man doesn't want a shag. I'm sure it'll make page 1. Just above pics of the little piggies flying.

Ubbquittious · 28-04-2021 2:47pm

Feck sake everyone likes an auld shaggeen of a night.

Hamachi · 28-04-2021 3:08pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Jaysis, that's a lot of riding!

Sounds exhausting.

I feel like a lie down after just reading that!

Leg End Reject · 28-04-2021 3:13pm

Hamachi wrote: »

Sounds exhausting.

I feel like a lie down after just reading that!

Well 4 a week really if you'reinto the multiple partners thing, the chance would be a fine thing with Covid anyway.

gary550 · 28-04-2021 3:58pm

Feisar wrote: »

But if she's screaming hot... plus the whole "head space" could mean a bit of a header/daddy issues, so one could be in for a good time. I'd say don't expend to much effort but don't shut her out either. And take a valuable lesson from this, no eggs in the one basket. One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

God bless your stamina, you must be mentally gifted to keep track of them all

quite honestly I couldn't be arsed with that

bitofabind · 28-04-2021 4:41pm

Feisar wrote: »

One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

I really hope you work in Sales, and if not you should consider it with that level of hustling. This is how you build a sales pipeline full of "opportunities" at varied stages of development.

Mastroianni · 28-04-2021 4:43pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

So, I recently matched with the one on tinder who was very cute, charming a funny. Within a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp. After a while we agreed to meet up in person and we clicked like a house on fire. We met the following week again and had a ball of time together. The following two weeks were Easter Sunday and the following Sunday I was tied the following Sunday helping a friend. We stayed in contact every day and night and shared messages and Snap chatting each other every day. Met her last Sunday and we had a brilliant time together. We chatted Sunday night when I got home and I fell asleep then. Monday morning I texted her and I got the following message back “ You're fine, sooo tired this morning getting up for work how's you? xx “ this is the last message I have got as I have been blocked on WhatsApp and on Snapchat. I’m still a match on tinder with her and friends on Instagram with her. I have reached out to her and asked her what is going on but I have been ghosted!!! To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

is she Irish?:D

Ubbquittious · 28-04-2021 6:07pm

I wonder what makes them go "Ah Jaysus, I think I'll start ghostin' this fella now"

"I haven't ghosted anyone in a while, I think this lad looks ideal for ghosting now"

"Ya go for it, ghost the absolute sh1te out of him!"

This would be the conversation when there be a few girlies sitting around with a bottle of Prosecco and a few nibbles on the veranda. Despite all the lambasting ghosters get I'd say a very high % of people do some bit of ghosting when they're on those sites.

raclle · 28-04-2021 6:26pm

Ubbquittious wrote: »

This would be the conversation when there be a few girlies sitting around with a bottle of Prosecco and a few nibbles on the veranda. Despite all the lambasting ghosters get I'd say a very high % of people do some bit of ghosting when they're on those sites.

Tbh I've being in the exact same position as the OP last year. Was with a (Limerick) girl for a month and all of a sudden she ghost/blocked me. Seen she was still on tinder and met someone else a week later. I knew it was heading that way with the time we spent together so was no real surprise, I just moved on. I've met a few since and got to the texting stage only to be ghosted again. It must be a trend these days. If its not going to work I'm normally just straight up with someone but ghosting is a horrible thing to do and leaves you wondering what you've done wrong.

YellowLead · 28-04-2021 6:34pm

raclle wrote: »

Tbh I've being in the exact same position as the OP last year. Was with a (Limerick) girl for a month and all of a sudden she ghost/blocked me. Seen she was still on tinder and met someone else a week later. I knew it was heading that way with the time we spent together so was no real surprise, I just moved on. I've met a few since and got to the texting stage only to be ghosted again. It must be a trend these days. If its not going to work I'm normally just straight up with someone but ghosting is a horrible thing to do and leaves you wondering what you've done wrong.

I think if some people have it done to them a few times, then they sort of see it as the normal thing and they carry it on themselves and it’s just gets more and more common. I agree it’s horrible and would never do it, sure all it takes is one quick text ‘im sorry this isn’t for me’ or what have you.

Only time I’ve ever had to block was from an unsolicited dick pic from somebody I never met - and that was deserved!

Mimon · 28-04-2021 6:41pm

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Hahahaha
You actually believe that?

Hold on I got to ring up the Sunday world and tell them a man doesn't want a shag. I'm sure it'll make page 1. Just above pics of the little piggies flying.

As I said, you're clueless as to what is going on here.

Hammer89 · 28-04-2021 6:52pm

gary550 wrote: »

I'd agree, it's shockingly bad advice.

You'd swear she (or women in general) were a gold plated scarcity going by some comments posts this thread

She's a low quality person, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

It was brilliant advice. I'd even say it's the best piece of advice he's been given so far.

Maintain a distance until you can bring her out on a real date instead of taking her for a drive every weekend.

What's wrong with that?

bitofabind · 28-04-2021 6:55pm

Ubbquittious wrote: »

I wonder what makes them go "Ah Jaysus, I think I'll start ghostin' this fella now"

"I haven't ghosted anyone in a while, I think this lad looks ideal for ghosting now"

"Ya go for it, ghost the absolute sh1te out of him!"

This would be the conversation when there be a few girlies sitting around with a bottle of Prosecco and a few nibbles on the veranda. Despite all the lambasting ghosters get I'd say a very high % of people do some bit of ghosting when they're on those sites.

:pac::pac::pac::pac:

I think it's generally more of a "mehhh he's a nice guy...don't know if I'm feeling it...he keeps texting...I'll get back to him at some stage...ah shyte he's still texting and can see I've read his texts...not ready to deal with this...I've left it too long now..." and suddenly it's a week later.

Think it's so prolific online because it's a literal meat market. Don't like this face? How about this one. Try this one. Oh and this one or maybe this one? So it's more like going on Deliveroo and looking for a pizza place and that's not really how humans work when it comes to attraction. So we get a bit institutionalised by the swiping and it's no longer about spending valuable time getting to know someone and building rapport with a unique human and more about comparing and contrasting between faces, which makes it easy to treat people like shyte.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Surreptitious · 28-04-2021 6:56pm

bitofabind wrote: »

:pac::pac::pac::pac:

I think it's generally more of a "mehhh he's a nice guy...don't know if I'm feeling it...he keeps texting...I'll get back to him at some stage...ah shyte he's still texting and can see I've read his texts...not ready to deal with this...I've left it too long now..." and suddenly it's a week later.

Think it's so prolific online because it's a literal meat market. Don't like this face? How about this one. Try this one. Oh and this one or maybe this one? So it's more like going on Deliveroo and looking for a pizza place and that's not really how humans work when it comes to attraction. So we get a bit institutionalised by the swiping and it's no longer about spending valuable time getting to know someone and building rapport with a unique human and more about comparing and contrasting between faces, which makes it easy to treat people like shyte.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

This is gas. I wrote a poem pretty much saying what you said here.

B.A._Baracus · 28-04-2021 7:03pm

Mimon wrote: »

As I said, you're clueless as to what is going on here.

Define irony.

Poor Uncle Tom · 28-04-2021 7:11pm

Feisar wrote: »

But if she's screaming hot... plus the whole "head space" could mean a bit of a header/daddy issues, so one could be in for a good time. I'd say don't expend to much effort but don't shut her out either. And take a valuable lesson from this, no eggs in the one basket. One should have a good few on the go at the one time, often these will be at varying stages of development. So one can have the ones that are good for the ride, a student is good for a weeknight which will quite often leave the weekend free for another one or two. Drinks and ride Fri night, that leaves Sat lunch for a potential GF, (early days women put great store in daytime dates). Sat night then for whatever takes yer fancy, out on the pull the traditional way or maybe a casual meet up for a drink with another one.

Aww Bless!

Look what you can do without any standards.

gary550 · 28-04-2021 7:17pm

Hammer89 wrote: »

It was brilliant advice. I'd even say it's the best piece of advice he's been given so far.

Maintain a distance until you can bring her out on a real date instead of taking her for a drive every weekend.

What's wrong with that?

Mate if a woman is all chat one minute and then blocks you the next for some unexplained reason then she's probably a headbanger and probably isn't much deserving of effort.

Telling the OP to bide his time so he can rekindle his soft and fuzzy feeling over a candle lit dinner he'll probably pay for only for her to inevitably pull that sh*t again is absolutely dire advice.

How would you expect any women to even give you a smidge of respect after you being that pliable?

raclle · 28-04-2021 7:21pm

YellowLead wrote: »

I think if some people have it done to them a few times, then they sort of see it as the normal thing and they carry it on themselves and it’s just gets more and more common. I agree it’s horrible and would never do it, sure all it takes is one quick text ‘im sorry this isn’t for me’ or what have you.

Only time I’ve ever had to block was from an unsolicited dick pic from somebody I never met - and that was deserved!

It would take something just as drastic for me too. Is there an age bracket for this ghosting as I'd imagine any mature adult would have the decency to reply

Hammer89 · 28-04-2021 7:26pm

gary550 wrote: »

Mate if a woman is all chat one minute and then blocks you the next for some unexplained reason then she's probably a headbanger and probably isn't much deserving of effort.

Yeah, except there is a reason though isn't there. What's more likely Gary: she blocked him for literally no reason at all or the OP just thinks it's random? We both know the answer.

I guarantee if the girl in question came on and told her side you wouldn't be so quick to be his best friend and tell him he's worth a thousand of her. If the OP told you he flew to Spain using his arms would you believe him?

raclle · 28-04-2021 7:28pm

Hammer89 wrote: »

she blocked him for literally no reason at all or the OP just thinks it's random? We both know the answer.

Didn't OP mention she met someone else?

Hammer89 · 28-04-2021 7:51pm

raclle wrote: »

Didn't OP mention she met someone else?

I don't know. All I know is the man was blocked on Whatsapp and not blocked on Instagram.

And to me that kind of says: "Here, I like you, but I don't like how often you text me, and the more drives we go on, the more we're going to be friends, and I didn't join Tinder to get a new mate. So I'm going to block you from texting me, but I'm not going to block you on Instagram because as I said, I liked you enough to meet you twice in real life and I want you to know this by keeping you unblocked on other platforms. And we're only going on a third date if it's in a restaurant or a pub, but neither of them will be open for a while yet and I know in my heart of hearts that by the time they do open, I won't want to meet you if we continue texting everyday because we'll be friends and as I said, I'm looking for a mate of the other variety."

This is such an open and shut case for me.

Johnnytractors · 28-04-2021 7:53pm

sporina wrote: »

pleeeeeease don't reply! I know that might be hard for you as you seem like a nice guy. Mayb you should block her - give her a taste of her own medicine.. but whether you do or not... please please don't reply.. thats a sob story.. she blocked you - end of. Don't be a raggy doll she can decide to play with when it suits her.. your better than that - plenty more fish and all that

Hi, I ain’t replying and won’t be either.

gary550 · 28-04-2021 7:53pm

Hammer89 wrote: »

Yeah, except there is a reason though isn't there. What's more likely Gary: she blocked him for literally no reason at all or the OP just thinks it's random? We both know the answer.

I guarantee if the girl in question came on and told her side you wouldn't be so quick to be his best friend and tell him he's worth a thousand of her. If the OP told you he flew to Spain using his arms would you believe him?

The simpler answer is she probably had another lad or two on the go who were probably taking more of her interest that particular day, quite simple really.

She left him on insta so probably wanted to see could she keep him in orbit until she was at a loose end or needed something to do.

All I was pointing out was that telling him to wait like a chump and wine and dine her to try win back her attention is awful advice

Johnnytractors · 28-04-2021 7:58pm

sporina wrote: »

pleeeeeease don't reply! I know that might be hard for you as you seem like a nice guy. Mayb you should block her - give her a taste of her own medicine.. but whether you do or not... please please don't reply.. thats a sob story.. she blocked you - end of. Don't be a raggy doll she can decide to play with when it suits her.. your better than that - plenty more fish and all that

Mastroianni wrote: »

is she Irish?:D

Yes, she is a Irish, west Clare woman and I’m from Cork.

Johnnytractors · 28-04-2021 8:02pm

Ubbquittious wrote: »

I wonder what makes them go "Ah Jaysus, I think I'll start ghostin' this fella now"

"I haven't ghosted anyone in a while, I think this lad looks ideal for ghosting now"

"Ya go for it, ghost the absolute sh1te out of him!"

This would be the conversation when there be a few girlies sitting around with a bottle of Prosecco and a few nibbles on the veranda. Despite all the lambasting ghosters get I'd say a very high % of people do some bit of ghosting when they're on those sites.

God only knows. I met this one 7 times and then all of a sudden ghosted. Who knows but I might be lucky it happened now than later in life

YellowLead · 28-04-2021 8:03pm

Hammer89 wrote: »

I don't know. All I know is the man was blocked on Whatsapp and not blocked on Instagram.

And to me that kind of says: "Here, I like you, but I don't like how often you text me, and the more drives we go on, the more we're going to be friends, and I didn't join Tinder to get a new mate. So I'm going to block you from texting me, but I'm not going to block you on Instagram because as I said, I liked you enough to meet you twice in real life and I want you to know this by keeping you unblocked on other platforms. And we're only going on a third date if it's in a restaurant or a pub, but neither of them will be open for a while yet and I know in my heart of hearts that by the time they do open, I won't want to meet you if we continue texting everyday because we'll be friends and as I said, I'm looking for a mate of the other variety."

This is such an open and shut case for me.

This makes zero sense. If she liked him but wanted to wait she would have just said it rather than block him. Who blocks and expects the other to forgive and forget??? If she needs to be wined and dined indoors in order for it to count as a date well what the hell would he want with her anyway!

Hammer89 · 28-04-2021 8:09pm

YellowLead wrote: »

This makes zero sense. If she liked him but wanted to wait she would have just said it rather than block him.!

Not necessarily. It's very awkward to tell a guy or a girl to stop texting you. I can easily see why the block function would be tempting.

Hammer89 · 28-04-2021 8:12pm

gary550 wrote: »

All I was pointing out was that telling him to wait like a chump and wine and dine her to try win back her attention is awful advice

I don't care if he waits or not. He can impregnate the whole of Tinder between now and then for all I care. I told him to message her on Instagram when the country opens up again because they were both just treading water in this landscape, with these restrictions. They're both to blame for trying to get into a relationship when there's nothing to do and nowhere to go. What else except this situation could've happened?

YellowLead · 28-04-2021 8:26pm

Hammer89 wrote: »

Not necessarily. It's very awkward to tell a guy or a girl to stop texting you. I can easily see why the block function would be tempting.

Sure. If you don’t want to speak to that person again!

Galwayguy35 · 28-04-2021 8:35pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Yes, she is a Irish, west Clare woman and I’m from Cork.

Stick with the Cork women and you will be grand.

Itainire · 28-04-2021 8:43pm

I am a woman in mid 20s. I have gone to over 20 tinder dates in the past years and I am gonna be honest: yes we do sometimes ghost men.
But do men sometimes ghost me? Yeah they do too.
Do I like it? Absolutely not.

Truth is that especially now because of the pandemic and all it's easy to feel lonely and having someone to chat it's just nice.. but unfortunately, often enough it is what it is.. just a way to waste time. Nothing more, not the initial phase of a relationship.

Ugly truth is she probably lost interest and found somebody else more interesting.. in my humble opinion literally forget about her and try find someone else more interesting too.
You have got this! Don't give up dating! You will find your one

YellowLead · 28-04-2021 8:48pm

Itainire wrote: »

I am a woman in mid 20s. I have gone to over 20 tinder dates in the past years and I am gonna be honest: yes we do sometimes ghost men.
But do men sometimes ghost me? Yeah they do too.
Do I like it? Absolutely not.

Truth is that especially now because of the pandemic and all it's easy to feel lonely and having someone to chat it's just nice.. but unfortunately, often enough it is what it is.. just a way to waste time. Nothing more, not the initial phase of a relationship.

Ugly truth is she probably lost interest and found somebody else more interesting.. in my humble opinion literally forget about her and try find someone else more interesting too.
You have got this! Don't give up dating! You will find your one

While i think ghosting is cowardly and childish - some men do tend to get invested far too soon and read too much into things. I’ve seen it with male friends countless times. Some women just want pen pals, an ego boost, and boredom relief. And I’m sure it works the other way, though I haven’t encountered it on the male side (yet)

Itainire · 28-04-2021 8:54pm

YellowLead wrote: »

While i think ghosting is cowardly and childish - some men do tend to get invested far too soon and read too much into things. I’ve seen it with male friends countless times. Some women just want pen pals, an ego boost, and boredom relief. And I’m sure it works the other way, though I haven’t encountered it on the male side (yet)

It is indeed cowardly and childish! But let's all admit that getting too attached to a person matched in a dating app isn't too grown-up either. In apps like tinder or bumble you could be talking at 10-15 people in one day. You say women want pen pals? Why didn't this person asked her out much earlier than talking for weeks? Perhaps she thought he wanted a pen pal! It goes both ways around!
Don't get me wrong this way of ghosting just blocking wherever it's very weird.. normally they just take longer to open the text longer to reply and slowly disappear lol

Dating isn't easy for women either.

Ubbquittious · 28-04-2021 8:59pm

Itainire wrote: »

It is indeed cowardly and childish! But let's all admit that getting too attached to a person matched in a dating app isn't too grown-up either. In apps like tinder or bumble you could be talking at 10-15 people in one day. You say women want pen pals? Why didn't this person asked her out much earlier than talking for weeks? Perhaps she thought he wanted a pen pal! It goes both ways around!
Don't get me wrong this way of ghosting just blocking wherever it's very weird.. normally they just take longer to open the text longer to reply and slowly disappear lol

Dating isn't easy for women either.

It is easier for you if you're talking to 10-15 a day. Twould be hard but probably not impossible for me to find 15 a day but would take a lot of effort and sending a lot of messages that go unanswered. Whereas with you they probably come flying in the door to you and most would be willing to meet up for a shaggeen at fairly short notice. The numbers are definitely in your favour. Out of my 15 i'll probably get at least 10 who eventually become ghosters

Mimon · 28-04-2021 8:59pm

Itainire wrote: »

It is indeed cowardly and childish! But let's all admit that getting too attached to a person matched in a dating app isn't too grown-up either. In apps like tinder or bumble you could be talking at 10-15 people in one day. You say women want pen pals? Why didn't this person asked her out much earlier than talking for weeks? Perhaps she thought he wanted a pen pal! It goes both ways around!
Don't get me wrong this way of ghosting just blocking wherever it's very weird.. normally they just take longer to open the text longer to reply and slowly disappear lol

Dating isn't easy for women either.

The OP met the ghosting woman a few times.

raclle · 28-04-2021 9:03pm

Itainire wrote: »

But let's all admit that getting too attached to a person matched in a dating app isn't too grown-up either.

Not necessarily. Like someone else mentioned, if you haven't been on a date or in a relationship for awhile I can imagine its easy to get your hopes up but that's not to say you're immature

YellowLead · 28-04-2021 9:05pm

Itainire wrote: »

It is indeed cowardly and childish! But let's all admit that getting too attached to a person matched in a dating app isn't too grown-up either. In apps like tinder or bumble you could be talking at 10-15 people in one day. You say women want pen pals? Why didn't this person asked her out much earlier than talking for weeks? Perhaps she thought he wanted a pen pal! It goes both ways around!
Don't get me wrong this way of ghosting just blocking wherever it's very weird.. normally they just take longer to open the text longer to reply and slowly disappear lol

Dating isn't easy for women either.

I would be the same (talking to loads) and sure sometimes the conversation just runs out after you match and you leave it.
But I would never not reply and block somebody I had met a few times out of the blue, there’s no excuse for that - not even for those in their twenties

YellowLead · 28-04-2021 9:06pm

raclle wrote: »

Not necessarily. Like someone else mentioned, if you haven't been on a date or in a relationship for awhile I can imagine its easy to get your hopes up but that's not to say you're immature

Maybe not immature, just inexperienced.
You have to have your head screwed on when dating...otherwise you are setting yourself up for upset like what happened OP. Something tells me he has learned though.

JoChervil · 28-04-2021 10:12pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Yes, she is a Irish, west Clare woman and I’m from Cork.

I sense you are still very much into her, so it is hard and it will last some time.

So read just a simple article to be better equipped:
https://www.independent.ie/life/health-wellbeing/toxic-love-some-relationship-red-flags-should-not-be-ignored-37438842.html

A quote from it:
"In other words, it’s very easy to get hooked on people who blow hot and cold — and even easier for people to use this tactic to their advantage."

She already gave you a very hard time, so be cautious...

Surreptitious · 28-04-2021 10:23pm

I have an analogy. I am using the word 'man' because the OP is male, before anyone gets offended.

A man goes into a bar some night to socialise. He walks in, sits down and orders a pint. He feels a bit awkward. The bar tender isn't talking to him and the atmosphere isn't too good. He knocks back the pint fairly fast because he feels uncomfortable and gets out of there.
Then he goes to another bar, he gets chatting to the barman and a regular and ends up having a few drinks but then the bar gets busier and he starts to think maybe I should head off.
He finds another bar after walking around for a small bit and he sits at the counter. Everyone in there except the odd few seem to be having a good night. He orders his drink and gets chatting to a couple of people. The drinks starts flowing, the barman remembers his drink, people are chatting away about this and that. He relaxes and ends up there for the night, even might have stayed after time.
He wakes up the next day, he might have a bit of a sore head but what he remembers is the last bar, the banter, the general ambience and feels it was worth it after all.
He won't go back to the first bar ever again, the second bar, maybe he might have one in there if stuck and the final bar he would gladly drink in there as much as he could because he felt wanted and at ease there.

So basically that what it is like with dates. They won't always work and you have to keep trying to find that bar you can chill out in.

(Corny? Deal with it)

JoChervil · 28-04-2021 10:37pm

Surreptitious wrote: »

I have an analogy. I am using the word 'man' because the OP is male, before anyone gets offended.

A man goes into a bar some night to socialise. He walks in, sits down and orders a pint. He feels a bit awkward. The bar tender isn't talking to him and the atmosphere isn't too good. He knocks back the pint fairly fast because he feels uncomfortable and gets out of there.
Then he goes to another bar, he gets chatting to the barman and a regular and ends up having a few drinks but then the bar gets busier and he starts to think maybe I should head off.
He finds another bar after walking around for a small bit and he sits at the counter. Everyone in there except the odd few seem to be having a good night. He orders his drink and gets chatting to a couple of people. The drinks starts flowing, the barman remembers his drink, people are chatting away about this and that. He relaxes and ends up there for the night, even might have stayed after time.
He wakes up the next day, he might have a bit of a sore head but what he remembers is the last bar, the banter, the general ambience and feels it was worth it after all.
He won't go back to the first bar ever again, the second bar, maybe he might have one in there if stuck and the final bar he would gladly drink in there as much as he could because he felt wanted and at ease there.

So basically that what it is like with dates. They won't always work and you have to keep trying to find that bar you can chill out in.

(Corny? Deal with it)

I don't see any analogy and sense in your story.

Guy that drunk would be happy in any bar at the end. Even in the first one.

Panthro · 28-04-2021 10:42pm

Surreptitious wrote: »

I have an analogy. I am using the word 'man' because the OP is male, before anyone gets offended.

A man goes into a bar some night to socialise. He walks in, sits down and orders a pint. He feels a bit awkward. The bar tender isn't talking to him and the atmosphere isn't too good. He knocks back the pint fairly fast because he feels uncomfortable and gets out of there.
Then he goes to another bar, he gets chatting to the barman and a regular and ends up having a few drinks but then the bar gets busier and he starts to think maybe I should head off.
He finds another bar after walking around for a small bit and he sits at the counter. Everyone in there except the odd few seem to be having a good night. He orders his drink and gets chatting to a couple of people. The drinks starts flowing, the barman remembers his drink, people are chatting away about this and that. He relaxes and ends up there for the night, even might have stayed after time.
He wakes up the next day, he might have a bit of a sore head but what he remembers is the last bar, the banter, the general ambience and feels it was worth it after all.
He won't go back to the first bar ever again, the second bar, maybe he might have one in there if stuck and the final bar he would gladly drink in there as much as he could because he felt wanted and at ease there.

So basically that what it is like with dates. They won't always work and you have to keep trying to find that bar you can chill out in.

(Corny? Deal with it)

Wait, so goldilocks was a dude and the beds were bars and the porridges were pints?!

Suddenly it all makes sense!

I just knew a family of bears would never get planning permission for a house in a woods.

Surreptitious · 28-04-2021 10:49pm

The cynics are out in force as usual. Sure they all know better and nobody is allowed to express themselves.
Excuse me while I post a pick up artist video.

raclle · 29-04-2021 12:10am

Found this on reddit

YellowLead · 29-04-2021 12:12am

What’s wrong with that? Or are you pointing out this is how it should be done?
I feel like I may have written it lol

Ghosted after a few good dates

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