'God hates me' family devastated as church makes changes to first communion

sideswipe · 26-09-2018 8:00am #1

I think this this story is going to blow up in the media today. Kids told to come to mass anytime in May/June for holy communion robbing families of a big day out-

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/god-hates-me-childs-distress-over-heartbreaking-ridiculous-church-idea-37355461.html

Personally think it's the best idea the church has come up with in a while!

_Brian · 26-09-2018 8:08am

This has been the case in places for a few years.

I think it’s good to take the pressure of families who maybe can’t afford a big day out.

CrankyHaus · 26-09-2018 8:11am

Hell hath no fury like a non-practising parent who's already stocked up on budweiser for their little angle's big day.

Sounds a bit like John Halligan whining that he wasn't allowed be a sponsor in a relatives confirmation "just" because he's an atheist.

KevinCavan · 26-09-2018 8:16am

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

Graces7 · 26-09-2018 8:17am

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

which is why parishes and the church are doing this. They have tried all other approaches...

titan18 · 26-09-2018 8:19am

Surely the parents can organise amongst themselves to all go on the same day and problem solved.

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 8:27am

Already a thread on it here OP -

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057914360/1/#post108182581

The part I find more concerning about that article tbh is this bit -

"My son Cathal lost his hair from alopecia last year and just the other day I heard my daughter say: 'God hates me and Cathal. He took his hair and now I can't even make my communion with my class'.
"To hear her say this was very heartbreaking and it just goes to show how much it's affecting her."

That’s just odd.

Fr_Dougal · 26-09-2018 8:27am

Had a look at her Facebook, she’s anti-church and has called for it to be disbanded on several occasions, yet wants a proper church communion?!

Permanently offended mouth breather.

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 8:34am

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Had a look at her Facebook, she’s anti-church and has called for it to be disbanded on several occasions, yet wants a proper church communion?!

Permanently offended mouth breather.

Meh, not the first time I’ve heard of something like that. I remember there was war in one school with the parents arguing that the school had their children ill-prepared for Confirmation, and one parent I talked to saying they weren’t religious themselves but they still wanted their child to make their Confirmation.

I just thought “Ohhhhkay then”. Bizarre, but... not something I was all that bothered to question if I’m being honest.

lawred2 · 26-09-2018 8:38am

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

Wouldn't matter what the perceived pressure was supposed to be, nothing would result in me being that chav

McMurphy · 26-09-2018 8:39am

sideswipe wrote: »

I think this this story is going to blow up in the media today. Kids told to come to mass anytime in May/June for holy communion robbing families of a big day out-

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/god-hates-me-childs-distress-over-heartbreaking-ridiculous-church-idea-37355461.html

Personally think it's the best idea the church has come up with in a while!

It's hardly robbing families of a big day out, have it any day now you feel like, but without all the other stampede of similarly aged kids families trying to book the same function rooms in the same hotels and pubs on the same day.

They should be made wear their school uniforms into the bargain.

Wibbs · 26-09-2018 8:41am

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

I know of two couples who took out credit union loans for the "big day". From what I recall from one couple who went full Celtic tiger and will tell you the price of everything they present to the world it was a few grand involved.

gozunda · 26-09-2018 8:46am

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Meh, not the first time I’ve heard of something like that. I remember there was war in one school with the parents arguing that the school had their children ill-prepared for Confirmation, and one parent I talked to saying they weren’t religious themselves but they still wanted their child to make their Confirmation.

I just thought “Ohhhhkay then”. Bizarre, but... not something I was all that bothered to question if I’m being honest.

I think it's a bit like vaccination - helps to ensures immunity for life

Hector Savage · 26-09-2018 8:47am

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Already a thread on it here OP -

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057914360/1/#post108182581

The part I find more concerning about that article tbh is this bit -

"My son Cathal lost his hair from alopecia last year and just the other day I heard my daughter say: 'God hates me and Cathal. He took his hair and now I can't even make my communion with my class'.
"To hear her say this was very heartbreaking and it just goes to show how much it's affecting her."

That’s just odd.

Yes indeed, child abuse I would say to have the kid so brainwashed that she believes there is a man in the sky personally picking on her.
Who has her believing this tripe ?
Thats the real story - but no, let's make it about the church being mean so
Jacinta can't set a date for her dawters bouncy castle and ten crates of Miller for her mates ....

They should show her some of the suffering around the world and then she'll realise how lucky she is (no, not really SHOW her but you know?)

_Brian · 26-09-2018 8:47am

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Already a thread on it here OP -

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057914360/1/#post108182581

The part I find more concerning about that article tbh is this bit -

"My son Cathal lost his hair from alopecia last year and just the other day I heard my daughter say: 'God hates me and Cathal. He took his hair and now I can't even make my communion with my class'.
"To hear her say this was very heartbreaking and it just goes to show how much it's affecting her."

That’s just odd.

Why is it odd.
Kids love a big day out where they are the centre of attention.

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we don’t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasn’t expensive at all.
We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is it’s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 8:53am

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

To be fair, that’s parents putting pressure on themselves. The Church isn’t asking or expecting them to put themselves under any pressure to do these things, which is more often about the parents showing off than it is about ensuring that their children enjoy themselves.

The Rape of Lucretia · 26-09-2018 8:55am

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.

You cant put a price on it. Its there big day, and only happens once in their lives.
It is up to parents to pull out all the stops without scrimping.

murpho999 · 26-09-2018 9:07am

It's shocking that this non story is getting any media coverage.

Just wish this country would leave this church stuff behind and get on with their lives.

People have kids outside marriage, co-habitate, vote for divorce, same sex marriage , abortion etc, all against the churches doctrine then they don't go to mass but it's still socially and culturally engrained in Ireland to get kids baptised, go to Catholic schools, communions, confirmations and then weddings in Churches.

It's like people are afraid to leave them behind.

_Brian · 26-09-2018 9:09am

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

You cant put a price on it. Its there big day, and only happens once in their lives.
It is up to parents to pull out all the stops without scrimping.

I wouldn’t agree completely with that.
This “pull out all the stops” is getting way out of hand, I’ve seen families on SW with limos and ice cream vans, whole afternoon in a hotel with food and booze.
Them tue same people accepting food parcels at Christmas.

It’s this whole dog and pony show that I find tasteless in the extreme. My daughters dress cost €80, another €80 for a bouncy castle, €100/120 for food to cater for 30 people. Nobody else got new clothes.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 26-09-2018 9:11am

Sensationalist búllshít headline! That child did not say that and for a mother to use such a line in order to get exposure is a new low in this country.

Maybe she should have thumped her daughter in the ribs before the photo was taken in order to get her to cry and compound her daughters 'devastation' rather than having the girl sitting there with a wee smirk on her face.

Fcuking stupid story being driven by hack journalists for a rapidly declining gutter rag.

sentient_6 · 26-09-2018 9:12am

How does this scutter get past an editor? Is the Independent even bothering anymore?

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 9:15am

_Brian wrote: »

Why is it odd.

A child coming out with the idea that God hates them is odd.

Kids love a big day out where they are the centre of attention.

Some children do, some children don’t, could definitely argue the toss with you there either way. The motivation for this particular protest appears to be more from the parents point of view than the children, and they’re appealing to tradition as the reason rather than any religious motivation for their objections to the Church adapting to modern society. That makes it even more odd.

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we don’t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasn’t expensive at all.
We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is it’s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

The Church isn’t stopping the parents doing any of that though. I’ve heard of a few parents who have had non-religious coming-of-age ceremonies for their children and it’s pretty much the same thing without any Church involvement, which makes me wonder why the appeal to tradition from parents who appear to want nothing to do with the Church? It sounds more like a case of the parents wanting to have it both ways, and that’s a parenting issue rather than it is an example of the Church being unfair to their children, or even instilling in their children the idea that God hates them, for any reason.

eagle eye · 26-09-2018 9:22am

The problem these days is that every idiot has access to media. You just have to scream loud enough and your idiotic comments will make the news.
You have plenty of people with agendas, both for and against you, ready to make sure your story gets heard.

sideswipe · 26-09-2018 9:35am

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Already a thread on it here OP -

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057914360/1/#post108182581

Sorry mods, didn't see other thread.

It is interesting that the Indo had that piece yesterday and then today have the 'human faces' behind the story- that would suggest that the 'God hates me' family contacted the Sindo to tell their story.

Live and let live I suppose but things do seem to be getting out of hand and escalating each year. The church is perfectly entitled to de-escalate things. Their religious right of passage that has been hijacked and the notion of parents who are not regular mass attendees staging a protest outside a church over this is pretty ridiculous.

angel eyes 2012 · 26-09-2018 9:36am

_Brian wrote: »

Why is it odd.
Kids love a big day out where they are the centre of attention.

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we don’t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasn’t expensive at all.
We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is it’s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

You cannot compare an adult's birthday party with a christian rite that is considered a sacrament. Personally, and this is just my opinion, I find it very odd that a young child when making their first communion stands before a man in a dress that represents an organisation, which still owes millions in redress to victims that were abused as children.

How you compare this with a 40th party in the local pub is beyond me. You are perfectly entitled to participate in the event just don't include the rest of us that don't believe in it.

_Brian · 26-09-2018 9:38am

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

You cannot compare an adult's birthday party with a christan rite that is considered a sacrament. Personally, and this is just my opinion, I find it very odd that a young child when making their first communion stands before a man in a dress that represents an organisation, which still owes millions in redress to victims that were abused as children.

How you compare this with a 40th party in the local pub is beyond me. You are perfectly entitled to participate in the event just don't include the rest of us that don't believe in it.

Where is anyone including you ?

Hitman3000 · 26-09-2018 9:42am

_Brian wrote:

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we donâ€™t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasnâ€™t expensive at all. We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is itâ€™s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

Communion is a religious event that both the child and parents are supposed to prepare for. No wonder the priest made the decision he did.
You want a coming of age event have a 'sweet sixteen'. Hypocritses everywhere and I don't even subscribe to organised religion.

angel eyes 2012 · 26-09-2018 9:44am

_Brian wrote: »

Where is anyone including you ?

I attend adult birthdays, I would politely turn down an invite to a communion/party. You inferred they involve the same elements, they certainly don't. Again it's just my take on it, you are perfectly entitled to have your communion party.

IrishZeus · 26-09-2018 9:45am

She won’t get her communion money - no wonder the child is p*ssed off

_Brian · 26-09-2018 9:49am

Hitman3000 wrote: »

You want a coming of age event have a 'sweet sixteen'. Hypocritses everywhere and I don't even subscribe to organised religion.

We are vaguely Christian in our ethos so it’s not hypocritical at all to have communion and a small celebration afterwards. We view it as Much a coming of age event as a religious one, I don’t see a problem with that.
Do we 100% follow the churches teaching, no we don’t, but we’re somewhere in there in the Christianity spectrum, we do what we feel is right rather than anything under pressure from society or the church.

Hitman3000 · 26-09-2018 9:56am

_Brian wrote:

We are vaguely Christian in our ethos so itâ€™s not hypocritical at all to have communion and a small celebration afterwards. Do we 100% follow the churches teaching, no we donâ€™t, but weâ€™re somewhere in there in the Christianity spectrum, we do what we feel is right rather than anything under pressure from society or the church.

So you want to be part of the club but don't want to follow all the rules? AFAIK communion, is one of the 5 sacraments of the RCC church. All of which except the last requires preparation from either the parents or the recipients. In the case of communion/ confirmation it's both, so if it means so much parents should have no problem attending communion any day that suits them. Parties to gather the money can also be scheduled for when it suits. As I said hypocrites.

super_furry · 26-09-2018 9:58am

If you want to have a party for your kid, have a party for your kid. Tying it up in some religious nonsense, especially if you don't adhere to or follow that religion in daft.

wexie · 26-09-2018 10:01am

super_furry wrote: »

If you want to have a party for your kid, have a party for your kid. Tying it up in some religious nonsense, especially if you don't adhere to or follow that religion in daft.

'yeah but, yeah but.....everybody else is doing it?!'

:rolleyes:

sbsquarepants · 26-09-2018 10:03am

Personally - I think it's a fantastic idea.

I rarely find myself agreeing with the church on anything however, so I'm off to get myself checked for concussion:D

_Brian · 26-09-2018 10:06am

Hitman3000 wrote: »

So you want to be part of the club but don't want to follow all the rules? AFAIK communion, is one of the 5 sacraments of the RCC church. All of which except the last requires preparation from either the parents or the recipients. In the case of communion/ confirmation it's both, so if it means so much parents should have no problem attending communion any day that suits them. Parties to gather the money can also be scheduled for when it suits. As I said hypocrites.

Religion, belief or spirituality is a personal thing and not black and white, either being one thing or another, I think that is a childish notion.

I’ve no problem with tue idea of communion being separated into days that suit rather than all at once, what difference. Our friends parish does that and groups of friends agree to go on certain sundays - seems to work fine.

We do what suits us, if you think that’s hypocritical, grand, it’s no odds what you think.

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 10:13am

Hitman3000 wrote: »

So you want to be part of the club but don't want to follow all the rules? AFAIK communion, is one of the 5 sacraments of the RCC church. All of which except the last requires preparation from either the parents or the recipients. In the case of communion/ confirmation it's both, so if it means so much parents should have no problem attending communion any day that suits them. Parties to gather the money can also be scheduled for when it suits. As I said hypocrites.

The times in a child’s life when Communion and Confirmation take place according to the Catholic Church are very much tied in with coming-of-age rituals from a historical perspective. It was the Church tied itself in with already established traditions and rituals rather than the other way round, before you start calling anyone hypocrites. The Church wanted to be part of society, and subsumed the already established rituals of that society into their “club”, as you put it.

Apart from any of that, the rules have changed many, many times throughout history and culture, and these changes have been driven by society, so the idea of calling people who break with tradition “hypocrites”, rather than the Church which moulded itself around traditions and rituals that were already established in that society, is a bit rich.

Hitman3000 · 26-09-2018 10:14am

_Brian wrote:

Religion, belief or spirituality is a personal thing and not black and white, either being one thing or another, I think that is a childish notion.

If you wish to be part of a club/cult/religion they're are rules. I wouldn't expect anyone to care about what a randomers on the net says. However hypocritical behaviour makes one a hypocrite whether you accept that or not is irrelevant it's fact. Take care.

sbsquarepants · 26-09-2018 10:14am

One eyed Jack wrote: »

A child coming out with the idea that God hates them is odd.
.

Anyone arriving at the conclusion that god doesn't hate them is odd if you ask me!

Greentree_uk · 26-09-2018 10:14am

its about time they scrapped it. Its a big con. and costs families a fortune. No one goes to church anyway.

Canis Lupus · 26-09-2018 10:18am

That's too funny. The priest has in essence taken away the dress up part of the day and all of a sudden people have completely forgotten the point of it in the first place. Gotten love christianity in Ireland. It's a total joke.

Rubberchikken · 26-09-2018 10:18am

They could still have their big day just go to the mass and receive communion first.
I dont get the connection between hair loss communion and God. Doubtful he's to blame.

crusier · 26-09-2018 10:19am

In fairness the only time the church see most of these parents is at these piss up events. The parents will no longer be able to tap the social welfare officer for drink money, it's a scandal Joe!

Hitman3000 · 26-09-2018 10:21am

One eyed Jack wrote:

Apart from any of that, the rules have changed many, many times throughout history and culture, and these changes have been driven by society, so the idea of calling people who break with tradition â€œhypocritesâ€, rather than the Church which moulded itself around traditions and rituals that were already established in that society, is a bit rich.

You need to look up the rules the church has for communion and the programme that accompanies it. I've heard of parents in my area refuse to participate in the programme but still wanted little Johnny or Mary to have their big day. Always fun when the priest (he's old school ) set them straight.
I have problem calling anyone a hypocrite who behaves as such . Last I heard the RCC was not a la carte. I don't follow it but I know it has its rules and traditions which if you claim to be a member the onus is on you to adhere to them.

Mrs OBumble · 26-09-2018 10:21am

super_furry wrote: »

If you want to have a party for your kid, have a party for your kid. Tying it up in some religious nonsense, especially if you don't adhere to or follow that religion in daft.

Yeah, but how is everyone else in the neighbourhood supposed to know which party to hand over the €50 for?

That's what this is all about, really.

_Brian · 26-09-2018 10:24am

Hitman3000 wrote: »

If you wish to be part of a club/cult/religion they're are rules. I wouldn't expect anyone to care about what a randomers on the net says. However hypocritical behaviour makes one a hypocrite whether you accept that or not is irrelevant it's fact. Take care.

You getting it wrong, I don’t want to be part of anything, we do our own thing which overlaps with Christian beliefs and traditions in places, that’s it and nothing else.

Bullocks · 26-09-2018 10:25am

Rubberchikken wrote: »

They could still have their big day just go to the mass and receive communion first.
I dont get the connection between hair loss communion and God. Doubtful he's to blame.

Yeah someone would want to sit that girl down and explain that God has no connection with alopecia. What kind of parents would let their kids to be interviewed saying they think God hates them. More in the mothers line to talk a bit of sense to the child instead of let her be quoted online.
I think this come as you please is a great job to get the communion.

sbsquarepants · 26-09-2018 10:28am

Greentree_uk wrote: »

its about time they scrapped it. Its a big con. and costs families a fortune. No one goes to church anyway.

They do on communion day! And it's not the church costing the fortune - it's the mini wedding dress, the limo's , the bouncy castles, venue hire + catering all the bolloxology that goes with a wedding communion.
People cost themselves a fortune, the church part is free!

This is my second time today to support the church - I must have a brain tumor!

Hitman3000 · 26-09-2018 10:28am

_Brian wrote:

You getting it wrong, I donâ€™t want to be part of anything, we do our own thing which overlaps with Christian beliefs and traditions in places, thatâ€™s it and nothing else.

You admitted that your kids attended for communion so they could have their day. It's a church ritual that parents and childrenare required to prepare for which includes regular mass attendence. You don't believe you are a hypocrite? That's fine I always tell people though, when in a deep hole is it advisable to keep digging?

_Brian · 26-09-2018 10:35am

Hitman3000 wrote: »

You need to look up the rules the church has for communion and the programme that accompanies it. I've heard of parents in my area refuse to participate in the programme but still wanted little Johnny or Mary to have their big day. Always fun when the priest (he's old school ) set them straight.
I have problem calling anyone a hypocrite who behaves as such . Last I heard the RCC was not a la carte. I don't follow it but I know it has its rules and traditions which if you claim to be a member the onus is on you to adhere to them.

I fail to understand this “your eother in or your out” notion. That died in the 50’s

Irony above irony here is that my experience is that the church are happy with people being a la carte with it, yet proclaimed non believers here say it’s unacceptable and hypocritical. Go figure.

suicide_circus · 26-09-2018 10:35am

sentient_6 wrote: »

How does this scutter get past an editor? Is is the Independent even bothering anymore?

The most disturbing aspect of this story is that it was published in a national broadsheet.

yabadabado · 26-09-2018 10:36am

_Brian wrote: »

Why is it odd.
Kids love a big day out where they are the centre of attention.

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we don’t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasn’t expensive at all.
We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is it’s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

Hahahahahahaha

That's ****ing gas Brian,you really should do a nationwide tour with this material.

'God hates me' family devastated as church makes changes to first communion

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