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Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

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    #122
    Turtle_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 640 ✭✭✭Turtle_


    StripedBoxers wrote: »
    Can't stop crying.

    Sorry to hear.. Anything in particular or just sad?


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    #123
    Lady is a tramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    My consultant wants me to start doing an hour by hour mood diary. This should be interesting ... :D


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    #124
    carzony
    Registered Users Posts: 2,780 ✭✭✭carzony


    Doctor actually called me back. He made up a referral letter for me but I couldn't hear who he's sending me too.


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    #125
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    carzony wrote: »
    Doctor actually called me back. He made up a referral letter for me but I couldn't hear who he's sending me too.

    Glad to hear that he finally got back to you, C. :)


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    #126
    carzony
    Registered Users Posts: 2,780 ✭✭✭carzony


    Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »
    Glad to hear that he finally got back to you, C. :)

    Thanks :)

    As time goes on, I think it's best as things are getting worse. I'm in bed right now felling very strange and doing any activity is very difficult.

    I've been walking the dogs around the local park for the guts of a year now and still i'm very nervous and reluctant to walk the whole park as it brings me from home. Just at the stage where i'm exhausted, angry and simply had enough.

    Really am ready to try anything. Have to see the GP on Monday so i'll defo need to start on some kind of strong medication to try and contain these symptoms.

    Last time, I tried the pills I was going around high as a kite but i'd take that over the crap i'm going through now.


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    #127
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    carzony wrote: »
    Thanks :)

    As time goes on, I think it's best as things are getting worse. I'm in bed right now felling very strange and doing any activity is very difficult.

    I've been walking the dogs around the local park for the guts of a year now and still i'm very nervous and reluctant to walk the whole park as it brings me from home. Just at the stage where i'm exhausted, angry and simply had enough.

    Really am ready to try anything. Have to see the GP on Monday so i'll defo need to start on some kind of strong medication to try and contain these symptoms.

    Last time I tried the pills I was going around high as a kite but i'd take that over the crap i'm going through now.

    :( *bro-hugs*

    Hang on in there, friend. You'll get the help you need there soon.


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    #128
    Juxtapose
    Registered Users Posts: 486 ✭✭Juxtapose


    ^^ Good to hear the doc got back to you Carzony. The fact you are ready to take the next step to finding your comfortable place is encouraging. Keep going, you're doing great.

    I've had a pretty bland week. Skipped college (which made me feel guilty, but i couldn't face it) but got things done that needed to, without too much enthusiasm.

    My anxiety has subsided and no panic attacks in a while. But with that i just feel totally empty of emotion. I've avoided any triggers and just basically shut myself off, which has helped but its not healthy. I actually can't wait to meet with my counsellor tomorrow, which i guess is a healthy sign.

    Trying to keep the positives in check.


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    #129
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Juxtapose wrote: »
    ^^ Good to hear the doc got back to you Carzony. The fact you are ready to take the next step to finding your comfortable place is encouraging. Keep going, you're doing great.

    I've had a pretty bland week. Skipped college (which made me feel guilty, but i couldn't face it) but got things done that needed to, without too much enthusiasm.

    My anxiety has subsided and no panic attacks in a while. But with that i just feel totally empty of emotion. I've avoided any triggers and just basically shut myself off, which has helped but its not healthy. I actually can't wait to meet with my counsellor tomorrow, which i guess is a healthy sign.

    Trying to keep the positives in check.

    I hope you get on well tomorrow, J.


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    #130
    Juxtapose
    Registered Users Posts: 486 ✭✭Juxtapose


    Thanks Hugo!

    I hope your week is going well and that you can relax and enjoy the weekend :)


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    #131
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Juxtapose wrote: »
    Thanks Hugo!

    I hope your week is going well and that you can relax and enjoy the weekend :)

    It'll be nice to have some time to relax. I hope yours is good there too. :)


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    #132
    Euphoria Intensifies
    Closed Accounts Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Euphoria Intensifies


    Hey everyone. Hope you're all having an okay evening.

    This has been a pretty busy week for me. I started some part time voluntary work which has been okay so far. It looks like I'm going to be starting the proper DBT course in September, so that will be good, even though it is going to be a big commitment (2 hours group session and 1 hour individual session every week as well as homework). I'm kind of worried about how I'll manage it alongside college (which I'll be starting back at the same time and will be full time pretty much).

    Having a proper routine is going to be really helpful for me I think, so I'm glad to have started the bit of work. Getting out of the house and being social is a really big thing for me too as I'm a classic extrovert - being around people really gives me energy. I'm going to focus on planning my routine and keeping on top of my PLEASE skills etc over the next while (I've been doing some DBT skills with the nurse since last year, but just random ones, mainly distress tolerance. Just in case any of you were wondering why I know some skills before having started lol).


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    #133
    Lady is a tramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    Lady is a tramp wrote: »
    My consultant wants me to start doing an hour by hour mood diary. This should be interesting ... :D

    Wow, I would really recommend this. I filled this in religiously every two hours today using a template I found online, rating different emotions in each two-hour period from 1-10, and with notes on what I was doing and how I felt at the time.

    The fluctuations are crazy! It's really interesting. It'll be great to see my counsellor tomorrow and actually show her on paper what goes on with me on a typical day, instead of just saying that I have a lot of mood swings and panic attacks.


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    #134
    Euphoria Intensifies
    Closed Accounts Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Euphoria Intensifies


    That's great that you're finding it useful LIAT - think I'll have a go at tracking mood swings too. Mine haven't been as bad since I've been on the split dose of quetiapine, but they get so out of hand if I'm remotely stressed out.


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    #135
    Lady is a tramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »
    That's great that you're finding it useful LIAT - think I'll have a go at tracking mood swings too. Mine haven't been as bad since I've been on the split dose of quetiapine, but they get so out of hand if I'm remotely stressed out.

    I'm on no medication for now. The consultant wants to see what my moods look like over a few weeks with no meds etc, but while I'm in the safe environment of the hospital.

    I mentioned earlier that I'm not on meds (didn't say why) and one of the other patients made a bitchy comment about what am I doing in hospital then if I'm not even unwell enough to need medication. Other patients have made bitchy comments about me being too happy and friendly, or about the fact that I get up and dressed and do my hair and makeup and am busy and active every day.

    Lots of smiling and nodding involved on my part. F*cking hell, some people can be judgemental. Just because my proble4ms aren't the same as theirs doesn't mean that they're not extremely serious.

    Most people here are lovely though, I guess there'll always be the odd one like that!


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    #136
    bridgettedon
    Registered Users Posts: 391 ✭✭bridgettedon


    Yah we can't control other people. Maybe something to remember is that mental health issues can change our personality so try not to take things personally. It's good that the majority of people are lovely.

    I remember you posting earlier that this hospital isn't using the tough love approach, compared to your previous hospital experiences. I don't react well to tough love. It makes everything so hard and lets face it, life can be pretty ****ty at the best of times. I prefer the soft, slow approach which mainly I have experienced from health professionals. There is a healthy balance between the two that can be used. I am glad that this current experience is going well, it shows that maybe their approach is better suited for you.


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    #137
    StripedBoxers
    Registered Users Posts: 5,112 ✭✭✭StripedBoxers


    Turtle_ wrote: »
    Sorry to hear.. Anything in particular or just sad?
    A few things and a bout of depression as well.

    Irreparable falling out with someone close to me and its starting to hit me now. :(

    I started a daily/nightly journal which is helping somewhat not much though.

    I need long-term counselling, but I know my review appointment in April the Dr who is assessing me will hand me a prescription instead of putting me forward for counselling.

    He's incredibly dismissive and seems to think that high doses of strong medications over a long term period is the answer to all problems. Gobshíte.


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    #138
    mickstupp
    Registered Users Posts: 1,764 ✭✭✭mickstupp


    Binge eating for hours now. And for the first time I don't feel a single bit guilty about it. I enjoyed the Chinese. I enjoyed the large packs of minstrels, and the apple tart, and the f***ing pizza too, and everything else. F*** it. I am now going to bed and it'd be nice if I slept for a few days. Or even a single goddamn hour without waking up, that'd do. Tired. The world can sod off.


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    #139
    get a room
    Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭get a room


    mickstupp wrote: »
    Binge eating for hours now. And for the first time I don't feel a single bit guilty about it. I enjoyed the Chinese. I enjoyed the large packs of minstrels, and the apple tart, and the f***ing pizza too, and everything else. F*** it. I am now going to bed and it'd be nice if I slept for a few days. Or even a single goddamn hour without waking up, that'd do. Tired. The world can sod off.

    Everyone was in bed by 10.30 last night. I made a cup of tea took 2 xanax and a 10mg stillnoct. I woke up at 1.30 and headed straight to bed.
    I woke up first this morning after an ok nights sleep, came downstairs to let the dog out. The sitting room light was still on. I went in to turn it off, on the coffee table was an empty packet of pringles, empty pack of creamcrackers, empty container of coleslaw and an empty bottle of baileys.
    Sh1te - I hope I enjoyed it..................


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    #140
    Lavinia
    Registered Users Posts: 8,089 ✭✭✭Lavinia


    Binge-eating used to hit me the worst in the late evening e.g. after 9pm so at one stage I remember I would go to sleep before this urge would get the better of me, and would get up at 5 in the morning but I would feel good.
    This worked for a while but not anymore though. Thinking of trying to re-introduce this rhythm into my life again and see if it helps. Loved waking up at 5am with all the silence around..


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    #141
    bridgettedon
    Registered Users Posts: 391 ✭✭bridgettedon


    I'm quite annoyed by someone. I'm trying to keep my temper under check so I don't say something I regret. It is really hard..


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    #142
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Mood has seriously dipped and the anxiety/assorted emotional issues has heightened the last few days. Too much ****ing stress.

    I'm increasingly finding that I'm good at nothing: relationships, work, learning, self-improvement etc. My forte seems to be rubbing people the wrong way and getting rejected and/or disliked immensely. I really don't know how I'm doing this but I'm the only common thing in all these interactions with various people, so obviously it's my ****ty personality.


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    #143
    bridgettedon
    Registered Users Posts: 391 ✭✭bridgettedon


    That was my experience as well Hugo. I seemed to repel people. I knew I looked a normal person but I didn't act like other people my age. So people used come up and chat to me but then they kinda stayed at a distance. I feel like depression and anxiety warp your personality. It's hard to hold a conversation when you are socially anxious and have low self-esteem. At my lowest I had no one by side except my family. Now I have developed friendships and get on with people at work. A huge difference compared to 2 years ago. I thought I was the issue before, I thought I was a horrible human being. However now I see that wasn't who I really am. I was sick and it affected my personality, my moods and my behaviour. I think sometimes other people feel that we don't like them and take it personally, that is why they get rubbed up the wrong way. Also concentration and learning abilities are affected by mental health issues. Add in work stress and it is a recipe for disaster. What I'm saying is that your life has turned out this way due to mental health issues, it is not due to you. Your mental health will improve and you will see a big change in your life. Try and think back to a time when you were good at doing something, try and remember having confidence and not being overcome by anxiety. It doesn't matter if it was 10 years. You will feel like that again someday.


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    #144
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    bridgettedon wrote: »
    That was my experience as well Hugo. I seemed to repel people. I knew I looked a normal person but I didn't act like other people my age. So people used come up and chat to me but then they kinda stayed at a distance. I feel like depression and anxiety warp your personality. It's hard to hold a conversation when you are socially anxious and have low self-esteem. At my lowest I had no one by side except my family. Now I have developed friendships and get on with people at work. A huge difference compared to 2 years ago. I thought I was the issue before, I thought I was a horrible human being. However now I see that wasn't who I really am. I was sick and it affected my personality, my moods and my behaviour. I think sometimes other people feel that we don't like them and take it personally, that is why they get rubbed up the wrong way. Also concentration and learning abilities are affected by mental health issues. Add in work stress and it is a recipe for disaster. What I'm saying is that your life has turned out this way due to mental health issues, it is not due to you. Your mental health will improve and you will see a big change in your life. Try and think back to a time when you were good at doing something, try and remember having confidence and not being overcome by anxiety. It doesn't matter if it was 10 years. You will feel like that again someday.

    Thanks for the reply there, B. I really appreciate it. :)

    There's plenty of food for thought there. I tend to go from 0 to 60 instantly in terms of negativity. Haha :o:o


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    #145
    bridgettedon
    Registered Users Posts: 391 ✭✭bridgettedon


    Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »
    Thanks for the reply there, B. I really appreciate it. :)

    There's plenty of food for thought there. I tend to go from 0 to 60 instantly in terms of negativity. Haha :o:o

    Well that my opinion but someone may have a different viewpoint which you may identify with more. I remember going in to work feeling like ****, feeling stupid, feeling that everyone hated me. It was hell on earth. It was just horrible. I hate that others are going through that right now. At the moment I work in a job where there is no stress as it's only a development type job so I may be feeling the same pressures in a different job in the near future. I get so stressed very quickly as well. I also start second guessing every single thing that is said to me, then I lose concentration, then I make mistakes, then I think I'm stupid, then I think others think I'm stupid. It's a never ending cycle of stress and anxiety. Even thinking of my previous job gets me wound up as you can see from this post.

    If people are being nasty to you then fcuk them. Honestly try and not give them a second thought.


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    #146
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    bridgettedon wrote: »
    Well that my opinion but someone may have a different viewpoint which you may identify with more. I remember going in to work feeling like ****, feeling stupid, feeling that everyone hated me. It was hell on earth. It was just horrible. I hate that others are going through that right now. At the moment I work in a job where there is no stress as it's only a development type job so I may be feeling the same pressures in a different job in the near future. I get so stressed very quickly as well. I also start second guessing every single thing that is said to me, then I lose concentration, then I make mistakes, then I think I'm stupid, then I think others think I'm stupid. It's a never ending cycle of stress and anxiety. Even thinking of my previous job gets me wound up as you can see from this post.

    If people are being nasty to you then fcuk them. Honestly try and not give them a second thought.

    No, your previous post really hit the nail on the head.

    I'm delighted to hear that you're getting on well in work there. :)

    I'm extremely prone to such spiralling thoughts too.


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    #147
    StripedBoxers
    Registered Users Posts: 5,112 ✭✭✭StripedBoxers


    Absolutely horrendous few days for me.

    Been depressed all day, spent half of the day in bed unable to get up because I couldn't face it.

    Rang my occupational therapist to see about getting a last-minute appointment next week, I hope I can.

    Fcuk anxiety and depression, fcuk them to hell and beyond.


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    #148
    La.de.da
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,010 ✭✭✭La.de.da


    Truly sorry to hear some of you are are suffering. I hope things improve for you all.

    I'm managing ( I think ) very high anxiety and low moods the last few weeks.
    Meditating trying to relax a bit. Just taking things day by day.


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    #149
    Lady is a tramp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Lady is a tramp


    So, roll call ... who's awake?

    I think I'm awake now for the night. I also think I may have freaked out the nurses after waking up after a bad dream and not knowing if I was asleep or awake.

    Want to get up and showered and dressed now but it's a bit too early, they'll think I'm weird. (Er.) I'll try to hold off until five.

    Going to try to see a doctor on call tomorrow if I can. I wanted to stay medication free but I'm scared to sleep ... I need something that'll make me sleep but not dream ...


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    #150
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    StripedBoxers wrote: »
    Absolutely horrendous few days for me.

    Been depressed all day, spent half of the day in bed unable to get up because I couldn't face it.

    Rang my occupational therapist to see about getting a last-minute appointment next week, I hope I can.

    Fcuk anxiety and depression, fcuk them to hell and beyond.
    La.de.da wrote: »
    Truly sorry to hear some of you are are suffering. I hope things improve for you all.

    I'm managing ( I think ) very high anxiety and low moods the last few weeks.
    Meditating trying to relax a bit. Just taking things day by day.
    Lady is a tramp wrote: »
    So, roll call ... who's awake?

    I think I'm awake now for the night. I also think I may have freaked out the nurses after waking up after a bad dream and not knowing if I was asleep or awake.

    Want to get up and showered and dressed now but it's a bit too early, they'll think I'm weird. (Er.) I'll try to hold off until five.

    Going to try to see a doctor on call tomorrow if I can. I wanted to stay medication free but I'm scared to sleep ... I need something that'll make me sleep but not dream ...

    Hope the weekend goes well for ye all there. x


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    #151
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,731 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Jaws are trying to clamp shut.. Haven't missed meds or been under any extra pressure so I'm pretty frustrated with this..


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