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Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,714 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld


    Just feeling very anxious today. Work is very tedious and more and more people leaving or being let go. I should look for another job, but I just don't have the energy, and other problems sucking the soul out of me, and I have dependents and I'm getting old.

    I really wish I could step off the treadmill for a year or so. But then it would be impossible to get back on.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,355 ✭✭✭Dazler97


    Sorry only seeing this now , depends on what ward your on etc it's grand in here , breakfast around 9am ,dinner at 1 and tea at 5 ,food is crap but I'm a picky eater so you might like it ,meds are usually in the morning, and at night between 9pm and 11pm , beds are alright it takes time to get used to , I got my own room straight away but usually your in a bay of 4 to 6 people for up to 2 weeks, plenty of activities, art ,creative writing, pottery, music ,yoga ,bingo , PlayStation room ,pool table ,mini golf etc so It's alright and there's loads of programs too ,cbt ,addiction, wellness to recovery ,it all just depends what your in here for and how bad you are etc



  • Registered Users Posts: 13,470 ✭✭✭✭Deja Boo


    (just needing to vent)

    sorry

    Post edited by Deja Boo on


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,287 ✭✭✭RabbleRouser2k


    Been having a rough almost two weeks now.

    My mum had to take a spell in hospital on the 28th Feb (it was a Wednesday). She'd gone to her GP over another issue a few days earlier, and may have picked up an infection from there. She started to feel unwell on the Sunday before her hospitalization, talking about a sore throat, then not having the energy to go to her GP, an ambulance had to come out to take her to hospital because a pulse oximeter showed low oxygen and a rapid heartbeat. She has a recently diagnosed lung condition, has to take an inhaler now, twice daily, or more if she feels she needs it. Have nothing but praise for the medical staff who treated her. They were very kind, and her fellow patients were great to her. Made her time in hospital far less stressful than it could have been.

    She was released from hospital on Friday, sent home very early, and even the nurses we spoke to were surprised she wasn't kept in hospital for a couple more days (only two or three). It was very abrupt. But it's created some stress, to say the least. We hadn't prepped for her return. House has to be cleaned, her meds have to be collected, and my brother's car was at the mechanic because of an issue. Had to ask someone for help bringing her home.

    My mum is strong willed and strong minded (one might even say stubborn), and pretty darn independent. Asking her to do something can feel like a battle. And she's still recovering. So there is that whole thing of having patience. Trying not to create undue stress or arguments, but there have been a few off the handle moments. It's been frustrating.

    But a lot of this takes me back similar incidents in my teens and slightly later. When I was 15, my mum got pneumonia, my dad was diagnosed with a chest infection. It was really stressful, and it led to me essentially having a breakdown and being diagnosed with depression. It was stressful couple of months, it took time for her to recover, and between all the medications, it was very tough. My brother and me had to take on a lot of duties, as well as making sure she took her medications (I'd put them out for both my parents the night before, have them ready to be taken when they woke up). Then years later, my dad's terminal diagnosis. All this has crept back into my mind. How his illness progressed rapidly. I've got all these thoughts running through my brain.



  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,843 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    That's a lot, a massive amount of stuff triggered there. Can you talk to anyone about it?. Maybe even your brother since ye were both through it together?.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,287 ✭✭✭RabbleRouser2k


    Hi Grem.

    Sorry for not replying sooner, but managed to catch a virus, so I've been under the weather and its slowed me down, unfortunately. Probably picked up a bug when we collected my mother from the hospital.

    My brother and me, we did 'kind of' discuss it. We discussed how we dealt with it, in times gone by. That we should be able to deal with anything that happens like that, again.

    We were worried about certain conditions in my mom due to the medications she was on that were making her slightly confused, but the hospital ran tests and my mother passed them with flying colours.

    I have a therapist appointment booked for two weeks time. I haven't had a chance to talk to my therapist for a while due to everything going on. It's been a few months.



  • Registered Users Posts: 8,287 ✭✭✭RabbleRouser2k


    Edit: Post is irrelevant, seemed like a strange tech issue on my end.



  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,843 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Seem to be suffering similar glitches, was pointed to a post from February instead of at least last page



  • Registered Users Posts: 425 ✭✭noah45


    Feeling the same, how are you now?



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,355 ✭✭✭Dazler97


    7 weeks in hospital today (including weekend leave) but hopefully I get a discharge date soon as I feel I can go home , it will feel weird but I can always link in with them if needs be



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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,287 ✭✭✭RabbleRouser2k


    Still trying to fight a virus that's compounding my problems.

    For some reason, it's been lingering in me longer than anyone I know who's had it, outside of my mum. Lots of sweating, lots of fatigue. Colds tend to always lodge in my chest, so that creates more issues.

    While my mum was really ill (she's slowly recovering, she feels herself getting stronger), a relative came over to help clean up the house, as a way to help out. Unfortunately, she threw out a lot of my stuff. Sketchbooks and notebooks, notably, Stuff that had my art in it, and recent art too, and books that are out of print or were bought through a kickstarter (online fundraiser to get a book published). I'm sure my family have thrown out stuff before, but these sketchbooks were more recent. It's really bummed me out. Sketchbooks are like my soul, so to speak.

    My mum's been prescribed some heavy medications to treat the chest infection. As I said in another post, she had tests for alzheimers and dementia, and thankfully passed all those tests, no problem. But some of the medications can make her tired or confused, or create kind of delirium. And that can be very alarming. This happened a week ago, before she got her more recent medications, and it seemingly happened again tonight (This happened on Monday, I saved this post as a draft to post later, not so much tonight). She's aware, and lucid, but can be irritable and start arguments over something as simple as going to bed. She's never been the best patient, to be truly honest. I can remember her, throughout my life, being difficult over something simple like a headcold.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,714 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld


    Feeling really down. Have had enough of everything. One thing is for certain, alcohol is an absolute curse. On the bus home hating myself and alcohol only makes it worse. Not drinking the **** anymore.



  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,843 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Hate how unpredictable our responses are.



  • Registered Users Posts: 366 ✭✭Robert Nairac


    I spoke to my doctor about novel treatments and he dismissed the idea and said it was very unlikely. I still want to follow-up on this as I have been taking antidepressants for 15 years with no benefit and I am at the end of the road. You have to keep on about these things I think. I want to pursue all legal medical treatments available. I did contact St Pats several times about their services and was ignored, which is reassuring. 😑

    I would like to speak to someone who I can present my medical history to and they can determine whether novel treatment would be appropriate and perhaps they could refer me or suggest a next step. How do I go about this and who should I be looking to speak to? I am not opposed to the idea of going to the UK and paying privately for ketamine treatment for example but I don't know if it is possible. This is the kind of thing I want to find out from someone working in this area.

    As an aside, does anyone feel extremely tired after eating and like they have to lie down? When I stopped taking antidepressants recently, I had maybe a week where I felt a little bit of a lift and then it went back to a very depressed state.

    Post edited by Robert Nairac on


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,940 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    no personal experience but marks has been banging on about ketamine for a long time now, shes following developments very closely….

    https://www.youtube.com/user/MarksPsych/videos



  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Woodcutting


    I know someone in a similar position.

    Did you try contacting the UK places that give Ketamine and find if they need a referral?

    As I said to the person I know it might be difficult to get a doctor here to refer as they would be involved if there was any problems and it's pretty new and untested area.

    Regards getting no reply from St Pats, usually you need referral from a GP to a psychiatrist.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,714 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld


    Feeling very anxious and depressed. As usual, in my head deferred a load of things to do to this long weekend break, and did none of them. I'm blocked with fear and depression and can't progress. Can't even hope or dream about anything as their is just responsibilities and work that has to be done to pay for them. And hope no more **** hits the fan.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    St Pats advertise a lot, encouraging you to contact them and “talk to a nurse”. I can only imagine that mentioning a specific drug or novel treatment might not pass their screening. I imagine they take the view that they will assess first and then treatments can be discussed. They probably get tons of requests e dry day for treatments/drugs not yet available here and they have to shelve those. Of course there might be a technical reason for why requests didn’t go through.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I have suffered a lot of depression & anxiety along the way. In 63, only last year was diagnosed with MS with a lot of old brain lesions which are very likely related to some degree re my mental health issues. More and more underlying pathology can be found to explain some mental health issues that defied understanding before modern MRI investigations with AI.

    The good news for me is that my depression & anxiety relented with a common anti-depressant Escitalpram 20mg, worked much better than its relative, Citalopram. My GP suggested it. Then I started suffering an intolerable sense of irritability which was generalised but began focussing on my right leg which I felt compelled to shake relentlessly, especially at night. I was prescribed Gabapentin which substantially relieved the leg and general irritability symptoms. So I am now feeling overall very positive and in a position to cope with elements life might throw at me, as these obstacles of low dopamine and endorphins has been removed and I am the person I can best be.

    Never forget there may be remediable reasons for mental health issues than can be addressed by specific approved medications. Some may not work at all for one particular cause underlying depression, where another will. It took me years to come to realise what was really affecting me. MS night sound dreadful, but the mental health effects it brings by virtue of inflaming the brain can be a lot worse than mobility issues which can be compensated for over time.



  • Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Woodcutting


    Talk to a nurse is a long way from a commitment to admit or be involved in arranging novel treatment like Ketamine.

    The Irish College of psychiatrist says seeing a psychiatrist requires referral

    I looked up three Ketamine clinics in the UK for my friend. Two needed referral. One said you could self refer

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Paul on


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  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,843 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Struggling.. A lot. Worst it's been in a long time, tough to exist. Going to bed.



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭One More Toy


    How are you today grem? Did you get a good rest?



  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,843 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    A bit shook tbh but I've to be out. Spoons replenishment tomorrow



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,714 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld




  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,843 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Slow enough, my OH is incredible thank feck



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,714 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld


    ….

    Post edited by SuperBowserWorld on


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,940 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    …just numb…..



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,714 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld


    I hear you. I'm constantly beating myself up mentally and doom scrolling on the Internet. This I can recognise and stop. But it's unreal how easily I revert. I just feel lonely, isolated and ashamed of the hole I've put myself in over the past many years and feel like I'm completely wasting my life. I have next week off work so I hope to get back to basics.



  • Registered Users Posts: 8,287 ✭✭✭RabbleRouser2k


    I've been quiet on here, for a while. It's been a very… it's been hell, honestly.

    Almost two weeks ago (it'll be two weeks on this Wednesday) my mum had to go to hospital. An infection in her leg didn't clear up with antibiotics. Looked like it might have been sepsis, so she had to go to hospital and get treatment. Some really strong drugs, it seems. My brother and me think she may not have taken them correctly-we found a tablet on the floor days after the course of tablets was meant to be finished.

    Well, they've been running scans. As is normal, make sure everything is fine and dandy. And they run a CT scan on her chest. And they found something. Something on the lung.

    My brother got a phone call, last Wednesday, from one of her doctors. The Doctor suspects that it's malignant, in his experience, it's nothing else. It's cancer. And this doctor has said he won't do any procedures because of an underlying lung issue. My brother picked up some of the details, but when he heard the words 'malignant'… he found it very difficult to pick up the rest of the details. He woke me up to tell me 'mum has cancer'.

    I tried to call my my mum, and not tell her about anything the doctor's had told us But I was crying down the phone, and told her it was because it was my father's death anniversary that was upsetting me.

    The following day, I had to have an emergency therapy session. Spent the whole session crying and trying to speak.

    We went in to see my mum a few days ago, there was a doctor there, who had also been treating her. He told us there was a lesion on her lung, that scans of the neck showed nothing, and because of her infection, they cannot do more tests at the moment. Only scans to monitor the situation, then a bronchoscopy and possible biopsy when she's stronger.

    When I said it's been hell, I meant it.



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  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,843 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia




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