Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Euphoria Intensifies

Hugs SB. I had a rotten day too. I find it hard to do Mondays, I really do. I know it sounds so silly, but it just seems so much harder to get going than any other day.

Hugo Stiglitz

Euphoria Intensifies wrote: »

Hugs SB. I had a rotten day too. I find it hard to do Mondays, I really do. I know it sounds so silly, but it just seems so much harder to get going than any other day.

It's always a hard day.

Hope ye all have a better one tomorrow.

Euphoria Intensifies

Thanks Hugo!

I actually have a gem of a housemate. She got me to go for a walk with her to get a coffee and enjoy the nice weather. It helped lift my mood and was just good to get out of the house in general. I'm lucky to have great people like her in my life.

carzony

EI, The nice weather defo helps lift you mood and it's hopefully gonna last for the week. The nice weather must have done something for me, I was in very high spirits all day and actually ventured way out of my comfort zone without problems. Hopefully tomorrow is as good

mansize

Slept all day again today. No idea how nice it was.

Gremlinertia

mansize wrote: »

Slept all day again today. No idea how nice it was.

I tried to sleep after work and got nowhere with it, the sun ended up annoying me would you believe? If you slept you probably needed it, don't beat yourself up..

mansize

another night awake after sleeping all fcuking day! But I did put a load of washing on so... some brownie points :P

Gremlinertia

Love the smell of fresh laundry. Least you managed that, I've to rewash whatever is in my machine because i left the house without pulling it out. Again.
Hope you get a sleep pattern sorted for yourself..

mansize

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Love the smell of fresh laundry. Least you managed that, I've to rewash whatever is in my machine because i left the house without pulling it out. Again.
Hope you get a sleep pattern sorted for yourself..

Oh honey I just put the wash on, getting it out it a whole other struggle

Gremlinertia

mansize wrote: »

Oh honey I just put the wash on, getting it out it a whole other struggle

Somebody else who gets it!. Thought i was the only one that often had to rewash clothes.

mansize

Stages of washing:

Getting the stuff off the floor
Sorting it into whites/non whites
Put on a wash - if I discover there's washing in there - have a little cry
Take out the washing- sometimes I spin twice
If if get it out and it don't smell so bad, hang it out - otherwise back to step 3
Hang it out- watch the rain fall- cry

Gremlinertia

Stages for me:
Run out of clean things to wear
Scrabble around gathering clothes from various rooms
Turn everything inside out
Put in machine if nothing else is lingering there
Wash
Forget
Wash
Forget
Take out and curse while pulling bits of discarded tissue off of everything
Wear, sneeze due to tissue, thus using more tissue to complete the cycle of adding tissue to every wash

mickstupp

Guys I shouldn't laugh but these last few posts are totally me right now at this second. Thank you for the first laugh I've had in days, I really appreciate it!

Gremlinertia

mickstupp wrote: »

Guys I shouldn't laugh but these last few posts are totally me right now at this second. Thank you for the first laugh I've had in days, I really appreciate it!

There's always a funny side, I'm glad you got a laugh out of it, even here it's not all gloom and doom..

Euphoria Intensifies

I'm the exact same when it comes to washing haha. Thankfully my shopping addiction means it's very rare that I actually fully run out of clothes. Appropriate clothes maybe! I'd be the girl you'd see in the summer dress, Docs and leggings walking down the atreet. Not out of fashion sense, but cause that's all that is clean!

Pablodreamsofnew

Same issue with the washing machine.

Today has been a really bad day panic wise. We have a visit over at the minute so enteraining and I just wanna curl up in a ball and hide. Must put on the happy face and screaming inside.

I can't eat because i'm too nervous. Does anyone else get more anxious if they're hungry?

whatismyname

Not been able to get out of bed today.

If someone could come round, pull me out of bed, throw me in the shower, then feed me, that would be great.

Hugo Stiglitz

Not a great day here today. I messed up a task for the second day in a row and got an overly severe giving out to for it. Lots of pressure for tomorrow now. Came really close to quitting this afternoon.

Walter H Price

i've been reading this thread for a while and the support you guys give each other is incredible.

I was diagnosed with general Anxiety disorder and depression two years ago , i still find it kinda hard to talk to people about it and outside of my fiance and my parents nobody knows.i've been on Citalopram

The last few weeks have been pretty tough , my job which is permanent is not looking as secure as it was before the election and because of that we've been turned down for a mortgage. i had a ruff couple of weeks and my doctors doubled my dose up to 40mg a day.

I do feel better less anxious and more relaxed but im tired and kinda zoned out allot of the time . i suppose i'm concerned that in a year my dose has gone up , i don't really want to stay on them forever, has anyone any experience with coming off these drugs ? is it difficult ?

mansize

I got out of bed today- and hung out and brought in the washing (well theres still some out)

wrecked, so decided i can go to bed now

mansize

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Not a great day here today. I messed up a task for the second day in a row and got an overly severe giving out to for it. Lots of pressure for tomorrow now. Came really close to quitting this afternoon.

man that was me before Xmas, and had a right nasty co-worker that would put the boot in.

Got out of there. Best thing I ever did.

bridgettedon

mansize wrote: »

man that was me before Xmas, and had a right nasty co-worker that would put the boot in.

Got out of there. Best thing I ever did.

I've been in that boat. Work shouldn't be a constant struggle. A person's health is more important.

Well done on completing those tasks today.

bridgettedon

I came across this short article and found it interesting http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3493348/My-twenties-write-Happy-Valley-star-Sarah-Lancashire-reveals-s-battled-depression-17-contemplated-suicide-twice.html#comments-3493348. I feel I lost a lot of my late teens and twenties due to mental illness. It's so good to see she is better now and has a successful career. I like the line where she says you don't see the depression yet you hide it's affects from others. That's exactly how I used to act.

via4

Hey guys hope eveyones week is going good! My days have improved a lot my dad is being nice to me so the atmosphere is relaxed the last few days I dont feel like I am walking on eggshells haha. I am off 2mo so going in to enjoy the parade. I am going to the pub to enjoy the atmosphere im using tomorrow as an opportunity to get back out there and hopefully bump into some people I know and try and reconnect with the world again.

dublinman101

Have had problems with depression and anxiety since I was 17. Now 39. Have used all routes to try and deal with it. On medication and get counselling. I am functioning quite well on the outside but it is a real struggle on the inside at times. It makes it easier that I don't have kids maybe.
Last week I was sailing through life. Really felt I had it all worked out. Then this week I've been anxious and quite low again. Probably triggered by a bit of work anxiety - a few things that are tricky. I sometimes wonder did I pick the wrong career but then I acknowledge I had problems with this before I ever started this career. All advice and comfort is much appreciated. Anyone have that - when you think you have the problem solved and it comes back at you?
Wish you all the best.

bridgettedon

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Feel out of sorts. I am not happy at the moment. I'm just not happy at the moment.

I overanalyse everything but do I focus on the right issues. I hate having to delete people from my life but some people are more hassle than I can allow in my life.

Feel like saying fcuk off to everyone though. However this is what I would of done in the past so I need to avoid getting into a strop because one part of my life turned out differently to how I expected it to. I actually give myself a headache.

carzony

Well for the first time tonight, In almost a year, I actually venture outside my comfort zone in a huge way. I seen a program about agrophobia, how to cure it and before I knew it I was out and about with no probelms whatsoever. I was even able to get about 2 miles from my home on foot I conquered a long, straight road which I was even scared to look at last week.

The fear just went away, I'm sure it'll come back but i'm hoping I can progress while it's gone. Feel like I can do anything for the first time in ages.....

via4

I know what you mean dublin101..If I had a penny for every "new start" I would be loaded haha....Yesterday I got over my little hurdles...I walked round town on my own yesterday and went into a pub alone as I want to start getting out again. I had a great day and felt extremely proud of myself that I didnt let being on my own stop me from living a life I want. I woke up this morning dreading work but said here goes....dad came in and guilt tripped me about not going up to see my grandad in hospital implying that I do not care and the fact that my cousins came all the way over from england to see him and told me to go up on sunday. My cousines came over for a paddys day piss up they didnt spend the day in the hospital there is photographic evidence of this on fb. I stayed quiet to avoid an argument and just agreed with him. If I explained the truth he would have snapped my neck off. My anxiety angers him deeply and causes him to attack my character quite venomously. If I was allowed to speak I would have explained that I had indeed planned to visit on Wednesday night after giving my neighbour a lift to her meeting. I felt very tired and I do not like driving when I am tired in case it triggers me so I decided after I dropped her off it would be best to leave it until I felt a little less tired another evening after work soon. Im right back to my low point again and I want to leave this job I dont think my mental health will improve staying here. He is starting to pressure me to do things and I know I cant push myself too far I know my own limits. Yesterday my daughter was in town enjoying the day with her friends so I had to stay close to town for when I was bringing her home. The hospital is in the next town so I would have been a bag of nerves leaving her in town while I went to the next town and I wasnt sure what the traffic arragnments where due to the parades in the next town. My child is my responsibilty so that took precedent yesterday unfortunately. I only had one drink and was in the pub for only a half hour just to say I did something instead of moping about the house ( as dad says I do). My grandad has been on my mind a lot and of course I want to go up its finding the right evening. My child has arrnaged the cinema tonight and I have work sat so sunday will be a good option to go up to see him. I just want to go home now had such a nice day yest thought I was getting my strength back but unfortuntaely this morning was like the whole of last week being attacked.

Hugo Stiglitz

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Not a great day here today. I messed up a task for the second day in a row and got an overly severe giving out to for it. Lots of pressure for tomorrow now. Came really close to quitting this afternoon.

Oh Hugo this is so damaging for your mental health It's really crap being in a working environment that you hate. Leaving is a big decision. So many what ifs involved and of course the financial implications.

If you feel that there is nothing which you can do to make your current role easier than I would seriously consider walking away. No job is worth that level of unhappiness.

bridgettedon

carzony wrote: »

Well for the first time tonight, In almost a year, I actually venture outside my comfort zone in a huge way. I seen a program about agrophobia, how to cure it and before I knew it I was out and about with no probelms whatsoever. I was even able to get about 2 miles from my home on foot I conquered a long, straight road which I was even scared to look at last week.

The fear just went away, I'm sure it'll come back but i'm hoping I can progress while it's gone. Feel like I can do anything for the first time in ages.....

Probably the best news I have heard in a while. It's so nice to read that. Well done you.

dublinman101

Has anyone done group therapy for depression/anxiety other than Aware or Grow. Where would I find such a group in Dublin. If you aren't allowed post it maybe you could pm me. Thanks.

bridgettedon

dublinman101 wrote: »

Has anyone done group therapy for depression/anxiety other than Aware or Grow. Where would I find such a group in Dublin. If you aren't allowed post it maybe you could pm me. Thanks.

I did group therapy but it was through the hse psych services. I think I was waiting a few months for it. Group therapy is tough though. I dont think I could do it again. Have you tried cbt? I know you said previously that you have tried counselling but cbt is very much focused on your needs and goals. It worked very well for me.

via4

I have done the aware one before, maybe the hse might have a list of groups therapies around your area. Sorry if the aware group has been discussed previously but I found it really enjoyable and fun as well if anyone on here was thinking about going for it.

Heat_Wave

Hi guys, first time poster in this thread. I have been on anti depressants on and off for the past 3 years. Each time I've had to stop due to side effects such as restless legs, and extreme drowsiness. However, it has since become apparent that I have a sensitivity to serotonin and can no longer take anti depressants. There is only one on the market which does not effect serotonin, but it costs approx €120 per month and requires fort-nightly blood tests, I cannot afford this. I believe my doctor has referred to my symptoms as 'serotonin syndrome'. My legs are constantly restless, and my hand shakes randomly, and I keep jumping at my desk in work and in my sleep. It's quite disappointing as I've had to stop taking the antidepressant. I am two days off them now. Has anyone else experienced this? I wouldn't mind but I was on a very low dosage, 75.

Gremlinertia

Hey there Heat Wave, have to say I haven't heard of it, cant be easy hearing that news.. I'd say some careful research is needed.. I wonder would you consider applying for a medical card?. They can be issued in mitigating circumstances, anyway welcome to the thread, Grem..

bridgettedon

Yah like Grem said check out the medical card. You include a list of the medication costs etc when making the application. Thats a lot of money to be paying out every month. Also check if the medication is covered by a medical card, there are a few that aren't.

Heat_Wave

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hey there Heat Wave, have to say I haven't heard of it, cant be easy hearing that news.. I'd say some careful research is needed.. I wonder would you consider applying for a medical card?. They can be issued in mitigating circumstances, anyway welcome to the thread, Grem..

Thanks Grem. I did not think I would be applicable for a medical card. I will look into this, sound advice.

Would love to know if anyone else has experienced restlessness or 'shakes' whilst on anti-depressants.

StripedBoxers

carzony wrote: »

Well for the first time tonight, In almost a year, I actually venture outside my comfort zone in a huge way. I seen a program about agrophobia, how to cure it and before I knew it I was out and about with no probelms whatsoever. I was even able to get about 2 miles from my home on foot I conquered a long, straight road which I was even scared to look at last week.

The fear just went away, I'm sure it'll come back but i'm hoping I can progress while it's gone. Feel like I can do anything for the first time in ages.....

Delighted to hear this. I hope things improve for you soon

Heat_Wave wrote: »

Hi guys, first time poster in this thread. I have been on anti depressants on and off for the past 3 years. Each time I've had to stop due to side effects such as restless legs, and extreme drowsiness. However, it has since become apparent that I have a sensitivity to serotonin and can no longer take anti depressants. There is only one on the market which does not effect serotonin, but it costs approx €120 per month and requires fort-nightly blood tests, I cannot afford this. I believe my doctor has referred to my symptoms as 'serotonin syndrome'. My legs are constantly restless, and my hand shakes randomly, and I keep jumping at my desk in work and in my sleep. It's quite disappointing as I've had to stop taking the antidepressant. I am two days off them now. Has anyone else experienced this? I wouldn't mind but I was on a very low dosage, 75.

Hi, sorry to hear this. Do you mean you were on a dosage of 75mg? I wouldn't have thought that to be a low dosage at all. I am on 30mg of Cymbalta which is quite a low dose (or so I am told anyway).

I hope you can get some help soon, and things improve for you.

My mood has plummeted tonight. All this talk of sunny weather, brighter evenings, etc has me in a tizzy. I hate the summer time and the sun. There are no words to describe how much I can't stand it.

Everyone is saying "oh isn't it great" etc and I'm like "yeah, fab, nice for a change" but inside I am dreading it and wishing it was Autumn/Winter again.

If I say to anyone that I dislike the brighter weather/sun they look at me funny and ask why, they struggle to understand that I don't like it. I had one person ask me what was wrong with me because I dislike it, not thinking that maybe I just, y'know, have different feelings to others on it.

bridgettedon

StripedBoxers wrote: »

My mood has plummeted tonight. All this talk of sunny weather, brighter evenings, etc has me in a tizzy. I hate the summer time and the sun. There are no words to describe how much I can't stand it.

Everyone is saying "oh isn't it great" etc and I'm like "yeah, fab, nice for a change" but inside I am dreading it and wishing it was Autumn/Winter again.

If I say to anyone that I dislike the brighter weather/sun they look at me funny and ask why, they struggle to understand that I don't like it. I had one person ask me what was wrong with me because I dislike it, not thinking that maybe I just, y'know, have different feelings to others on it.

Nowadays I kinds enjoy the sunny weather. For years I didn't like it. I hated wearing sunscreen and feeling all sweaty. The sunny weather brings out the jealousy in me. I usually avoid doing my usual activities because everyone seems to be having fun whereas I'm just on my own. I also don't like wearing summer clothes so seeing others wearing shorts and skimpy tops reminds me how fat I am. I do like sitting out in the garden and just reading. I'm looking forward to that.

And let's not forget, this is Ireland after all and the brighter weather will be gone in no time.

I have to say Irish people, or maybe just people in general, can be very narrow minded. It's almost like you're strange if you have a different opinion on anything really.

trixychic

Ok so I am kind of avoidin this thread at the min in case it triggers something. Sorry.

Just an update. My OH has been in his course almost a month now. I'm gettin up on the morning's and keepon the kids fed and happy. Still haven't quite managed to get all the house work done too and some days oh has to cook. But I'm getting there.

After 7 yrs of fighting depression, anxiety disorders and having oh with me full time to support me through one of the hardest times of my adult life... things are actually going ok.

Hopefully I can keep pushing through. Hope everyone else is ok. Sorry I'm not reading or replying. I'm very nervous and weary of this state of mind. I'm afraid if I trigger anythin I won't be able to cope. Maybe it's not true but I'm being safe rather than sorry. For now staying busy and kind of positive/neutral.

via4

Sounds like your doing great trixychic! And with regards housework sometimes it's best to say sod it I'm takin it easy today or getting away from it altogether haha....bridgetton I hear you guys on the sunny weather debate....I like seeing it but then I find it hard cos i get a pang of sadness when I see people online getting together having barbecues having a ball and my heart just breaks and I spent every weekend of the summer in bed last year I found it tough going. Towards the end I got up n went to my parents house where I sat there listening to my family planning a day out in Dublin and I wasn't invited I was told to pick up the kids while they got their day out. I ran out of the house n just broke down being ignored and left out breaks me down emotionally. Last week my father defended my families actions and said I took it out of context. But they did what they did and they know how lonely I am they didn't need to stick the knife in. I didn't go up for months after that to which my father gave out to me about that but I don't like being treated this way so if I can avoid a situation like this I will in order to try n have a happy life. He actually gave out to me bcos I felt lonely on Mother's Day, I'm a single parent and it's hard seeing everyone getting spoils by their partners but I wasn't allowed to feel a little down. This year I want to improve my summer by getting a bike and going on cycles for a change in the evenings. I find when I wear nice clothes it gives me a little confidence boost so I'm planning on improving my appearance. Anything to make me a little stronger. Welcome heatwave! Defo try the medical card option hopefully you can get that medication you need cos that's a lot of money indeed.

lukesmom

So I had an argument with my oh and a death in the family that brought me down and flared up my gad for a few weeks. Had some hypnosis last week and a prescription of Valium till things even out and since yesterday I've seen a definite improvement. However I notice the morning times are worse. Has anybody found that the morning anxiety is the last to go when your on the mend???? Please no negative comments

Juxtapose

lukesmom wrote: »

So I had an argument with my oh and a death in the family that brought me down and flared up my gad for a few weeks. Had some hypnosis last week and a prescription of Valium till things even out and since yesterday I've seen a definite improvement. However I notice the morning times are worse. Has anybody found that the morning anxiety is the last to go when your on the mend???? Please no negative comments

Morning anxiety is what has been holding me down for the past few months. I usually feel okay in the evenings, on top of things, then the mornings i have to build it all back up again which can be really difficult.

I've found that having the smallest of tasks to complete really helps. Like folding clothes or letting the dog out the back. I try to do some meditation which helps too, but sometimes the mornings just suck.

Hopefully they get better as i feel i've turned a new corner, we just need to conquer the morning times

Hugo Stiglitz

Deleted User wrote: »

Oh Hugo this is so damaging for your mental health It's really crap being in a working environment that you hate. Leaving is a big decision. So many what ifs involved and of course the financial implications.

If you feel that there is nothing which you can do to make your current role easier than I would seriously consider walking away. No job is worth that level of unhappiness.

Thanks for the kind words there, P. x
I hear what you are saying, and I totally agree.

I need to fight this though. I've ran from every challenge I've ever faced. I need to beat this.

The money is good, and the job itself is probably the best I'll ever be able to get with my meagre qualification. I'm hoping that once I get through the training phase, that things will get better.

I turned 30 during the summer. I need to establish some sort of life for myself. I feel there's huge societal pressure for this.

I've begun seeing a counsellor recently, so I hope that will help me out.

Hugo Stiglitz

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Thanks for the kind words there, P. x
I hear what you are saying, and I totally agree.

I need to fight this though. I've ran from every challenge I've ever faced. I need to beat this.

And beat it you will x

Hugo Stiglitz

[Deleted User] wrote: »

And beat it you will x

Thanks, P. Time will tell.

carzony

Been out and about for the last few days, I have even challenged myself by walking in crowded areas and places I know are usually gonna set me off. Agorophobia completely gone thank god, Just shows me how much I have been missing even in the short time i've been stuck in the house.

As far as I know the Beta Blockers are only to prevent cardiac events?, If true this means it's mostly me, in my normal function. The pills have defo taken the edge off though

Hugo Stiglitz

carzony wrote: »

Been out and about for the last few days, I have even challenged myself by walking in crowded areas and places I know are usually gonna set me off. Agorophobia completely gone thank god, Just shows me how much I have been missing even in the short time i've been stuck in the house.

As far as I know the Beta Blockers are only to prevent cardiac events?, If true this means it's mostly me, in my normal function. The pills have defo taken the edge off though

Delighted to hear it! Onwards and upwards!

mickstupp

Adventure time. Have to go away to foreign lands for seven days for work/training. This is nervous-making. I have not travelled on my own before. I think the newness and busy-ness will keep me going well enough. I hope.

Juxtapose

mickstupp wrote: »

Adventure time. Have to go away to foreign lands for seven days for work/training. This is nervous-making. I have not travelled on my own before. I think the newness and busy-ness will keep me going well enough. I hope.

Definitely. Travelling solo can be daunting. I know from my own experiences that viewing it in smaller stages definitely helped. Just concentrate on the present all the time, what you need, how to get to the airport etc. Be prepared and you'll feel ready. Once you step foot on that plane it will all come naturally.

Best of luck on your trip