Sh*te your co-workers say

Baron Kurtz · 15-03-2019 12:01am

Feisar wrote: »

I've met one or two lads like that in my time. Some eye contact and "I don't fancy your chances however if you want to give it a go..." Has settled it.

One lad threatened to put me out the window, it was in a stacked porta cabin on a building site temp office. I locked the door and said, window's the only option now. Soon softened his attitude.

Did you lock the door after or before the anal rape happened?

Paddy Cow · 15-03-2019 2:25pm

Not so civil servant wrote: »

RIP.ie is checked first thing in the morning, followed by details of every person around sick, dying, dead. I'm depressed by 9am. Tea break isn't much better - no matter what topic is brought up it inevitably winds back to cancer.

Old guy '' You cant even put your hand on a woman's knee in work now without it being called sexual harassment"
He's genuinely shocked by this.

That reminds me of being forced to listen to the death notices on the radio.

Paddy Cow · 15-03-2019 2:27pm

completedit wrote: »

People look into things too deeply here hahaha
The only real annoying thing on this thread is the full of himself twat with no self awareness who has managed to etch out himself a place as someone to be admired. I saw these ***** when I was a kid working as a barman, I didn't have the wherewithal back then but theee office parties would come in and you'd see soon after these bellends on action. You'd invariably have a gang of moths around him lapping it up. Very poor personalities but confident. Pricks
I haven't worked in an office job yet but should do come September. Looking forward to encountering one of these tossers

Give it six months in your new office job and I guarantee what seems like minor inconveniences will become hell on earth when you are forced to share a confined space with the same people every day!

Eggs For Dinner · 15-03-2019 2:50pm

mfceiling wrote: »

Taking a sh*t.

Only just realised that this well used phrase is backwards. Surely we give a shlt rather than taking one? Must ponder that now for the afternoon

Wildly Boaring · 15-03-2019 6:11pm

The office boss

Not any type of real boss. But the self appointed boss.

Charity fundraiser. A speciality.
IT issues... she'll try to ring the IT guy and gunter a description of the problem
You better believe she's union rep, fire warden and first aider.

Actual work???

Balanadan · 15-03-2019 6:31pm

TaurenDruid wrote: »

The person with the foghorn voice that's so loud I can hear their "quiet" conversations with the person next to them from 30 metres away; and they raise their voice whenever they're on the phone (because the other person is far away?)

If you're on the phone to someone in another town/county/country, how do you expect them to hear you if you don't talk loudly?

Edgware · 15-03-2019 7:43pm

Eggs For Dinner wrote: »

Only just realised that this well used phrase is backwards. Surely we give a shlt rather than taking one? Must ponder that now for the afternoon

Isnt that what those little white bags in the Ladies are for?

LouD2016 · 26-03-2019 10:04am

Last year after buying the early bird Electric Picnic tickets I had to endure 2 weeks of listening to plans on how my co worker was going to get there.

Constant questions on buses and times and how many taxis did I think would be working that weekend.

A year in advance...and he lives 10 minutes from Stradbally.

Deebles McBeebles · 26-03-2019 10:42am

"So there he was, strung off his face...."

Narc.

ILikeBoats · 26-03-2019 10:54am

SIGH

Ugghhh SIGHHH

No I'm not going to ask you why you're sighing, you'll just bombard me with sh1te talk about your position which has absolutely nothing to do with me

razorblunt · 26-03-2019 11:07am

2 girls both have that "whistling s" when they speak.
Obviously not something they can help but it really grates on me.

LouD2016 · 26-03-2019 11:16am

The 3 day conversation about a monthly email we send out.

It's the SAME email EVERY month - there is no change, there is no need for this conversation.

Just send the fckn thing and lets move on.

Not so civil servant · 26-03-2019 11:20am

The overuse of the word b*stard

Salvation Tambourine · 26-03-2019 11:24am

ILikeBoats wrote: »

SIGH

Ugghhh SIGHHH

No I'm not going to ask you why you're sighing, you'll just bombard me with sh1te talk about your position which has absolutely nothing to do with me

Ah yes, I know this one. Seeking attention without wanting to seem like you want attention.

I used to sit beside someone who would do this all the time, a few minutes later you'd see him stand up and walk over to talk to someone who he thinks cares about his issue.

I don't mind a moan but if you want to moan just tell me, I'll listen and probably contribute.

MzMurfy · 26-03-2019 11:27am

Initiating deep conversation when I am trying to get something done.

completedit · 26-03-2019 11:34am

LouD2016 wrote: »

The 3 day conversation about a monthly email we send out.

It's the SAME email EVERY month - there is no change, there is no need for this conversation.

Just send the fckn thing and lets move on.

Move on to what? More than likely whatever your doing isn't that pressing anyway. The email is as of much importance or lack of. This is the modern world. Most jobs are nonsense

Not so civil servant · 26-03-2019 12:16pm

completedit wrote: »

Move on to what? More than likely whatever your doing isn't that pressing anyway. The email is as of much importance or lack of. This is the modern world. Most jobs are nonsense

Yes and this is what this thread is about

26-03-2019 12:24pm

I think top of the list this morning is the complete and utter waste-of-space shítehawk whose purpose in the organisation is, well, unknown to most people, but who manages to send this little red exclamation mark on each email to tell us their latest heap of abject, ineffably pointless, vacuous right-on cac is "High Importance". It's not; it really, really, really is not.

Feck off, and let the rest of us work.

IK09 · 26-03-2019 3:01pm

razorblunt wrote: »

2 girls both have that "whistling s" when they speak.
Obviously not something they can help but it really grates on me.

Never mention this to anyone else. I used to listen to a podcast that I loved until a friend told me he couldnt listen to it because of the presenters "S's" I didnt know what he was on about, never heard it, never realised it.....until I did. You cant put the toothpaste back in the tube. Ruined the podcast for me, cant listen to it now.

Ray Palmer · 26-03-2019 4:10pm

Not quite a person I work with but she is in work. There is a reception desk in work but realistically the staff that man it are a mix of maintenance and security and certainly not receptionists.
Anyway one of them who is their supervisor has an incredibly shrill flat Dublin accent. Loads of weird things about her behaviour which boils down to everybody has to follow the rules but her. Signs all over the reception not to use phones, she will interrupt people and shout at them not to use their phone. When she is at the desk she friggin face times people and stays on the phone for about an hour. She sings a long to the radio very loudly and she can't sing.
Once she was holding the door for a delivery guy and tells him he can manage on his own now, he was struggling, because she had things to do. She let's the door go and knocks stuff of the trolley .Goes over to the desk and starts singing along to the radio and looking out the window.
There is so much more but people are afraid of her because she has gotten people moved out of the office and removed from projects

razorblunt · 26-03-2019 4:47pm

IK09 wrote: »

Never mention this to anyone else. I used to listen to a podcast that I loved until a friend told me he couldnt listen to it because of the presenters "S's" I didnt know what he was on about, never heard it, never realised it.....until I did. You cant put the toothpaste back in the tube. Ruined the podcast for me, cant listen to it now.

Ha ha! Once you hear it once though you start hearing it everywhere.
Mine began with almost every female presenter/contributor on a certain radio station, it used to drive me insane.

Seanachai · 26-03-2019 4:48pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Not quite a person I work with but she is in work. There is a reception desk in work but realistically the staff that man it are a mix of maintenance and security and certainly not receptionists.
Anyway one of them who is their supervisor has an incredibly shrill flat Dublin accent. Loads of weird things about her behaviour which boils down to everybody has to follow the rules but her. Signs all over the reception not to use phones, she will interrupt people and shout at them not to use their phone. When she is at the desk she friggin face times people and stays on the phone for about an hour. She sings a long to the radio very loudly and she can't sing.
Once she was holding the door for a delivery guy and tells him he can manage on his own now, he was struggling, because she had things to do. She let's the door go and knocks stuff of the trolley .Goes over to the desk and starts singing along to the radio and looking out the window.
There is so much more but people are afraid of her because she has gotten people moved out of the office and removed from projects

She's a narcissist, these people need to be quarantined in society, not put in positions of power. In olden times she'd be brought out on a walk and bowled head first off a cliff.

Ray Palmer · 26-03-2019 5:23pm

Seanachai wrote: »

She's a narcissist, these people need to be quarantined in society, not put in positions of power. In olden times she'd be brought out on a walk and bowled head first off a cliff.

She really is not in any position of power as basically she is the lowest paid in the entire building getting a little more than those she supervises. She has a massive chip on her shoulder because she feels inferior to everybody who works there.
She is inferior due to her lack of basic manners and common decency.
Her job is to sit down and press the open gate button and little more

Not so civil servant · 23-05-2019 9:42am

A manager in a financial section.

"I'm not a numbers person"

"That's just gone over my head and hit the back wall"

"I don't know how to tell the difference between a thousand or a million"

An audit scheduled for this week - she rings in sick.

Sigh

SuperGrover · 23-05-2019 10:09am

Various colleagues, week in, week out...

Monday - "Mondays, huh?"
Tuesday - "Ah well, at least Monday's over"
Wednesday - "Halfway there now"
Thursday - "Nearly Friday"
Friday - "Thank god it's Friday"

SuperGrover · 23-05-2019 10:11am

*Weather forecast shows very slight rise in temperature...

"Where's that heatwave we were promised?"

Der Stier · 23-05-2019 10:37am

Jesus Christ!
I am lucky it seems, some freaks out there.

Der Stier · 23-05-2019 10:54am

ILikeBoats wrote: »

SIGH

Ugghhh SIGHHH

No I'm not going to ask you why you're sighing, you'll just bombard me with sh1te talk about your position which has absolutely nothing to do with me

Can't stand attention seeking lunatics like this, just begging you to ask them what's wrong.

I just ignore them, they never do it around me after that.

Seanachai · 23-05-2019 11:00am

SuperGrover wrote: »

Various colleagues, week in, week out...

Monday - "Mondays, huh?"
Tuesday - "Ah well, at least Monday's over"
Wednesday - "Halfway there now"
Thursday - "Nearly Friday"
Friday - "Thank god it's Friday"

They're basically negating 90% of their lives, I doubt they become joyful, vibrant human beings on the weekend either.

Wildly Boaring · 23-05-2019 11:35am

"Ah you're going to work from home" with a wink or OTT nod.

Yes. Yes I ****ing am. I'll get twice as much done without you over killing time with nosy stupid questions about my projects.

Sunny Disposition · 23-05-2019 11:40am

Most of my colleagues are sound, the ones I find most difficult are the ones whose whole life is the workplace. Debating and arguing about any minor changes, gossiping about what colleagues are doing, who said what to whom etc, get a fcking life!!!!

AndrewJRenko · 23-05-2019 12:50pm

Not so civil servant wrote: »

A manager in a financial section.

"I'm not a numbers person"

Manager in every section, including in hi-tech businesses :

"I don't know anything about that technology stuff"

SirGerryAdams · 23-05-2019 3:57pm

This thread isn't good for someone who may have social anxiety and is afraid to say anything for fear of getting judged. lol

New thread needed - good things to talk about with co-workers.

Blueshoe · 23-05-2019 4:04pm

Eastern European co worker tells me regularly how his country is better than Ireland.
This is better, that is better.

Yet you are here . Why don't you gather up more of your countrymen and **** back to Poland

SirGerryAdams · 23-05-2019 4:11pm

There's a prick in the next desk over (partitioned) who makes those noises like when you're relieved of pain or stretching...not moans or groans, more airy...can't describe it.

Same guy says the same thing on every phonecall he gets:

- Phone rings

- Hi Tim

- (other person obviously asking how are you?)

- Ah you know yourself, living the dream

EVERY.SINGLE.PHONECALL

Deebles McBeebles · 23-05-2019 4:15pm

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

There's a prick in the next desk over (partitioned) who makes those noises like when you're relieved of pain or stretching...not moans or groans, more airy...can't describe it.

Same guy says the same thing on every phonecall he gets:

- Phone rings

- Hi Tim

- (other person obviously asking how are you?)

- Ah you know yourself, living the dream

EVERY.SINGLE.PHONECALL

Ah sure I can't complain....well, I could but no one would listen BAHAHAHAHA

tcawley29 · 23-05-2019 5:06pm

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

There's a prick in the next desk over (partitioned) who makes those noises like when you're relieved of pain or stretching...not moans or groans, more airy...can't describe it.

Same guy says the same thing on every phonecall he gets:

- Phone rings

- Hi Tim

- (other person obviously asking how are you?)

- Ah you know yourself, living the dream

EVERY.SINGLE.PHONECALL

Sounds a bit like me tbh. Are we talking Ireland or somewhere else

angel eyes 2012 · 23-05-2019 5:09pm

The "in" phrase in my workplace this year is "high level". It's overused so much I've started to count how many times it's used at each meeting I attend. Examples- This document is high level, a high level consultation, high level strategy, high level committee, etc.

Last year's buzz word was "coaching", its use has significantly diminished this year. I have deduced that the act of coaching must not be high level enough to be used anymore.

Seanachai · 23-05-2019 5:19pm

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

The "in" phrase in my workplace this year is "high level". It's overused so much I've started to count how many times it's used at each meeting I attend. Examples- This document is high level, a high level consultation, high level strategy, high level committee, etc.

Last year's buzz word was "coaching", its use has significantly diminished this year. I have deduced that the act of coaching must not be high level enough to be used anymore.

This is why I have no interest in management, I'd do a Reynholm and leave by the window if I had to listen to that double-speak.

ArnoldJRimmer · 23-05-2019 7:00pm

I dialed into an online training course this morning. From the start of the meeting, the presenter kept talking about 'how pleased she was to be on a journey with us.' I wasn't sure if the journey in question was the one hour meeting, or using the product itself. But she signed off saying that she's 'looking forward to continuing our journey together.'

This is up there with 'we need to square the circle' in terms of confusing me

dublinman1990 · 23-05-2019 7:36pm

ArnoldJRimmer wrote: »

I dialed into an online training course this morning. From the start of the meeting, the presenter kept talking about 'how pleased she was to be on a journey with us.' I wasn't sure if the journey in question was the one hour meeting, or using the product itself. But she signed off saying that she's 'looking forward to continuing our journey together.'

This is up there with 'we need to square the circle' in terms of confusing me

What are the chances when the course ends for the day in that she says "Thank God. That sh1te is over for another day".

Your Face · 23-05-2019 7:38pm

'Cascade this down to your teams'

Yeah, lll tell them this.

Naydy · 23-05-2019 10:31pm

A woman nearing her 60's in my office, during the Repeal the 8th campaign. She asked if I was for or against, I said I was voting "yes" and she said "Babies like yours will be killed just like that, would you be ok with your baby being murdered?". This said in front of about a half dozen people in our small kitchenette while pointing at my stomach. I was about 25 weeks pregnant

I wish I had called her out on that rubbish but I think I just stood there gaping like a fish at her before finally spluttering out something about her being completely inappropriate. I'd never had a problem with her before then, she is normally quite a nice lady. I don't know what possessed her.

Greyfox · 23-05-2019 11:26pm

SuperGrover wrote: »

Various colleagues, week in, week out...

Monday - "Mondays, huh?"
Tuesday - "Ah well, at least Monday's over"
Wednesday - "Halfway there now"
Thursday - "Nearly Friday"
Friday - "Thank god it's Friday"

I'm one of those people and I'll never change

BuboBubo · 23-05-2019 11:33pm

Blueshoe wrote: »

Eastern European co worker tells me regularly how his country is better than Ireland.
This is better, that is better.

Yet you are here . Why don't you gather up more of your countrymen and **** back to Poland

Worked with one of those a few years ago. One day I had enough of his ranting, and replied in a calm voice "yes, but nobody wants to live there".

That was 10 years ago, doubt I'd get away with it nowadays. However it shut him up!

The_Honeybadger · 23-05-2019 11:58pm

I have the worst energy vampire ever in the office next to mine. The entirety of the worlds misfortune lands on this ones shoulders time after time. Every day I talk to her there is a new tale of woe, a family member is sick or dying, her car is giving trouble and she can’t afford to fix it, her son is being bullied, her back is at her. Jesus f**king Christ she would drain you to listen to her. And that’s before she even starts on the whingeing about how stressful her workload is when in reality we are working around her because she is useless and unreliable.

The whole place avoids her like the plague but I have to walk past her office to get to mine so I can’t dodge her. Our manager has asked HR to move her but no other section will take her it seems.

Not so civil servant · 24-05-2019 8:32am

My manager has a sh*t load of animals and she likes to tell you about them everyday.

The morning starts with her running in late huffing and puffing. She then goes on to say that the morning got away from her and she is so busy with 7 dogs, 6 hens and 5 ducks.

Then the 2 lads in here shout out "and a partridge in a pear tree"

Every.Single.Morning.

Deebles McBeebles · 24-05-2019 8:39am

Naydy wrote: »

I don't know what possessed her.

Same thing that possessed a lot of people during that campaign. Sh*tty thing to say, especially to a pregnant woman.

Greyfox wrote: »

I'm one of those people and I'll never change

Its the mild depression you see, its all that keeps us going.

EmmetSpiceland · 24-05-2019 8:41am

SuperGrover wrote: »

Wednesday - "Halfway there now"

We had a guy who’d say “we’re Bon Jovi now lads!” every Wednesday.

I mean, it was funny the first time but it got old fast. Very fast. It also got the song stuck in your head for the day.

realdanbreen · 24-05-2019 8:45am

What time are you finishing at?

Sh*te your co-workers say

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