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The Taylor-made CVPL Chat Thread!

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Comments

  • #852
    TheIrishGrover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,145 ✭✭✭TheIrishGrover


    Suckit wrote: »
    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=110694176&postcount=7376

    Pretty sure I've never found out someody was a vegan and thought they were 'super healthy'..
    I never thought thy were 'probably nutrient deficient' either.
    My first thought would be "why did they just tell me they were vegan?"

    Because


  • #853
    dubstarr
    Registered Users Posts: 13,762 ✭✭✭✭dubstarr


    The one with the Pandas on the tree.I dont get it


  • #854
    New Home
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 77,025 Mod ✭✭✭✭New Home


    "Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition!"


  • #855
    josip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,154 ✭✭✭✭josip


    New Home wrote: »
    "Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition!"


    Fair enough, but what's the Spanish Inquisition got to do with loads of Pandas photoshopped onto a tree?


  • #856
    New Home
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 77,025 Mod ✭✭✭✭New Home


    I bet you didn't expect it, when you were scrolling down through all those pandas...


  • #857
    my3cents
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,764 ✭✭✭my3cents


    New Home wrote: »
    I bet you didn't expect it, when you were scrolling down through all those pandas...

    I actually said to myself "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition" when I scrolled down but really I still didn't make the connection.

    I sort of thought ah there's a connection but its so lame that there must be some other joke there that I missed.


  • #858
    Star Lord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    my3cents wrote: »
    I actually said to myself "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition" when I scrolled down but really I still didn't make the connection.

    I sort of thought ah there's a connection but its so lame that there must be some other joke there that I missed.

    Not high brow enough for you?

    image.jpeg

    :pac::D


  • #859
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,490 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    AndyBoBandy wrote: »
    Man caught at airport with half a kilo of cocaine hidden under his toupee

    image.jpg

    linky
    I thought this was one photo showing two people. I wondered why drug smugglers were wearing uniforms. D'oh!


  • #860
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,474 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Victor wrote: »
    I thought this was one photo showing two people. I wondered why drug smugglers were wearing uniforms. D'oh!
    There'll be hell to pay


  • #861
    locum-motion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,143 ✭✭✭locum-motion


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    napoleon.png

    Once again, what kind of psycho posts an XKCD comic and doesn't include the mouseover text?
    "Mr. President, what if the unthinkable happens? What if the launch goes wrong, and Napoleon is not stranded on the moon?" "Have Safire write up a speech."

    And if you don't get it, you can look it up on www.explainxkcd.com !


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  • #862
    my3cents
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,764 ✭✭✭my3cents


    inforfun wrote: »
    08eb4542403489aad1fc4e730ca4ef59.png

    We should really have a poll to see how many people here have cats because everyone gets the cat jokes :D















    - even me.


  • #863
    BattleCorp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,789 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    oFcBpcg.jpg

    I never understood why women had a problem with the toilet seat being up.

    Surely if the toilet seat is up, it hasn't been pi55ed on. Isn't that the whole notion of putting the seat up or down, not to have it pi55ed on?


  • #864
    Wilberto
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 8,576 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wilberto


    I never got the whole toilet seat issue anyway. I mean, there's also a lid on the toilet. Why would anyone not put the lid down?

    That's what doesn't make sense to me.


  • #865
    josip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,154 ✭✭✭✭josip


    Apparently they have some sort of primeval fear of falling into the toilet and getting sucked into the underworld.
    The same 'logic' as their fear of spiders.


  • #866
    BattleCorp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,789 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    josip wrote: »
    Apparently they have some sort of primeval fear of falling into the toilet and getting sucked into the underworld.
    The same 'logic' as their fear of spiders.

    With the size of their ar5es, not a chance. :D:D:D:D:D


    Well, that comment has probably brought down a jihad on my ass. :D:D:D


  • #867
    New Home
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 77,025 Mod ✭✭✭✭New Home


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    oFcBpcg.jpg

    I never understood why women had a problem with the toilet seat being up.

    Surely if the toilet seat is up, it hasn't been pi55ed on. Isn't that the whole notion of putting the seat up or down, not to have it pi55ed on?

    Why should it be pissed on in the first place? Can't you guys aim properly? Haven't you been toilet trained? Also, you forget about splashback some men leave, both on the inside of the lid, and on the seat itself, which we have to deal with when we have to use the toilet ourselves. Besides, men do one thing sitting up, and one sitting down, women do both sitting down - that makes 3:1. It's maths, really.

    Anyway, as Judy (she of Richard and Judy fame) once put it (and yes, I'm paraphrasing), try and go to the toilet in the middle of the night still half asleep and with the light off so your sleep won't be disrupted too much, then try and sit down and have your heart skip a beat because the toilet feels lower than it should be, only to get an arseful of cold ceramic in the end!


  • #868
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,490 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    New Home wrote: »
    Anyway, as Judy (she of Richard and Judy fame) once put it (and yes, I'm paraphrasing), try and go to the toilet in the middle of the night still half asleep and with the light off so your sleep won't be disrupted too much, then try and sit down and have your heart skip a beat because the toilet feels lower than it should be, only to get an arseful of cold ceramic in the end!
    There's a variant of this where someone just plonked herself down. The hard ceramic was more of a problem than the cold ceramic.

    The flush on my toilet is, eh, zealous, so it's strictly 'seat down cover down' when flushing.


  • #869
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,474 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Wilberto wrote: »
    I never got the whole toilet seat issue anyway.

    https://i.imgur.com/wMBEeHB.mp4


  • #870
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    With the size of their ar5es, not a chance. :D:D:D:D:D


    Well, that comment has probably brought down a jihad on my ass. :D:D:D
    Here it comes...
    cute_pics-funny_pictures_of_animals-3759_1880_donkey-sniper.jpg


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  • #871
    ganmo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,748 ✭✭✭ganmo


    New Home wrote: »
    Why should it be pissed on in the first place? Can't you guys aim properly? Haven't you been toilet trained? Also, you forget about splashback some men leave, both on the inside of the lid, and on the seat itself, which we have to deal with when we have to use the toilet ourselves. Besides, men do one thing sitting up, and one sitting down, women do both sitting down - that makes 3:1. It's maths, really.

    Anyway, as Judy (she of Richard and Judy fame) once put it (and yes, I'm paraphrasing), try and go to the toilet in the middle of the night still half asleep and with the light off so your sleep won't be disrupted too much, then try and sit down and have your heart skip a beat because the toilet feels lower than it should be, only to get an arseful of cold ceramic in the end!

    Get a syringe, fill it up with water, stand in front of the toilet, aim the syringe at the toilet and push the plunger against your belly. Let's see how you do


  • #872
    my3cents
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,764 ✭✭✭my3cents


    joujoujou wrote: »
    485546.jpg

    I believe that, I worked on a project where a customer broke our software and it took a while to work out why. Simple in the end they had set up their account with the company name with a ampersand in it as in "W.H.Smith & Sons". No one had ever thought to test the software with any special characters in the company name and this was the first company that had the "&" in their name :o


  • #873
    Jeff2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,151 ✭✭✭Jeff2


    Wilberto wrote: »
    I never got the whole toilet seat issue anyway. I mean, there's also a lid on the toilet. Why would anyone not put the lid down?

    That's what doesn't make sense to me.

    They really should to stop rats getting in at night.


  • #874
    RobertFoster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,227 ✭✭✭RobertFoster


    Jeff2 wrote: »
    They really should to stop rats getting in at night.
    I dunno what'd be worse, getting bitten on the arse by a rat while half asleep, or the sight of Judy Finnigan's arse hovering above you like a UFO trying to find a landing spot.


  • #875
    BattleCorp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,789 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    ganmo wrote: »
    Get a syringe, fill it up with water, stand in front of the toilet, aim the syringe at the toilet and push the plunger against your belly. Let's see how you do

    And in my case, imagine the syringe is very small and you can't see it with the belly in the way. 😀


  • #876
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,407 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    And in my case, imagine the syringe is very small and you can't see it with the belly in the way. 😀

    And every now and then the water squirts out of the syringe sideways for no visible reason.


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  • #877
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,499 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    joujoujou wrote: »
    485546.jpg

    I actually knew a guy whose job it was to find ways to break websites using emojis and special characters etc


  • #878
    New Home
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 77,025 Mod ✭✭✭✭New Home


    All the more reasons for peeing sitting down, which wouldn'r require for the seat to be lifted. :D


  • #879
    BattleCorp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,789 ✭✭✭✭BattleCorp


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    And every now and then the water squirts out of the syringe sideways for no visible reason.

    You need to wash the cheese off bud. :D


  • #880
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    New Home wrote: »
    Why should it be pissed on in the first place? Can't you guys aim properly? Haven't you been toilet trained? Also, you forget about splashback some men leave, both on the inside of the lid, and on the seat itself, which we have to deal with when we have to use the toilet ourselves. Besides, men do one thing sitting up, and one sitting down, women do both sitting down - that makes 3:1. It's maths, really.
    I didn't realise women do both things with the same frequency.


  • #881
    josip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,154 ✭✭✭✭josip


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I didn't realise women do both things with the same frequency.


    Don't be trying to apply logic to this chestnut.


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  • #882
    mickrourke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 686 ✭✭✭mickrourke


    What's the deal with multi-coloured keyboard in YLYL?


  • #883
    wally79
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,941 ✭✭✭wally79


    mickrourke wrote: »
    What's the deal with multi-coloured keyboard in YLYL?

    Read the letters on centre row


  • #884
    mickrourke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 686 ✭✭✭mickrourke


    wally79 wrote: »
    mickrourke wrote: »
    What's the deal with multi-coloured keyboard in YLYL?

    Read the letters on centre row
    Now it makes sense....


  • #885
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,407 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    BattleCorp wrote: »
    You need to wash the cheese off bud. :D

    Wire brush ordered on Amazon.


    What kind of eunuch would wee sitting down NH?


  • #886
    Mr E
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55,534 ✭✭✭✭Mr E


    wally79 wrote: »
    Read the letters on centre row

    I thought it was no escape (and so, not particularly funny).

    That's an ugly ass keyboard though!


  • #887
    Suckit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,211 ✭✭✭✭Suckit


    Mr E wrote: »
    I thought it was no escape (and so, not particularly funny).

    That's an ugly ass keyboard though!


    Same, I looked at it for a while to see the penis, and noticed no escape so guessed that was the funny.


  • #888
    New Home
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 77,025 Mod ✭✭✭✭New Home


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    What kind of eunuch would wee sitting down NH?

    One that wouldn't piddle on the seat, obvs. :D


  • #889
    Victor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,490 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Suckit wrote: »
    olZyMGr.jpg
    This child is going to have some interesting dinners for the next week.


  • #890
    mickrourke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 686 ✭✭✭mickrourke


    Ok in YLYL, the cartoon with the seat missing? Any ideas?


  • #891
    Silent Running
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,819 ✭✭✭Silent Running


    mickrourke wrote: »
    Ok in YLYL, the cartoon with the seat missing? Any ideas?

    The swing?... It don't mean a thing if you aint got that swing.


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  • #892
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,407 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Silent Running wrote: »
    The swing?... It don't mean a thing if you aint got that swing.

    Huh?:confused::confused::confused:


  • #893
    dubstarr
    Registered Users Posts: 13,762 ✭✭✭✭dubstarr


    The Star Trek one about baked potatoes,havent a clue


  • #894
    Jeff2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,151 ✭✭✭Jeff2


    dubstarr wrote: »
    The Star Trek one about baked potatoes,havent a clue

    Two baked potatoes in tin foil.


  • #895
    Silent Running
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,819 ✭✭✭Silent Running


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    Huh?:confused::confused::confused:

    A very old Duke Ellington song.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Don%27t_Mean_a_Thing_(If_It_Ain%27t_Got_That_Swing)


  • #896
    mickrourke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 686 ✭✭✭mickrourke


    Silent Running wrote: »
    mickrourke wrote: »
    Ok in YLYL, the cartoon with the seat missing? Any ideas?

    The swing?... It don't mean a thing if you aint got that swing.

    Oh that's good. Very highbrow but good.


  • #897
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Mr E wrote: »
    C7v8bvT.jpg?1
    That dog scares me. It legit looks like an angry werewolf.


  • #898
    my3cents
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,764 ✭✭✭my3cents


    Paddy Cow wrote: »
    That dog scares me. It legit looks like an angry werewolf.

    He's just smiling at the camera.


  • #899
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    my3cents wrote: »
    He's just smiling at the camera.
    They must go to the same dentist, teeth whiter than white.:D


  • #900
    Kat1170
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,638 ✭✭✭Kat1170


    tumblr_ngn7ejop6D1r1octlo2_400.gif


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  • #901
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,474 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    ^^^^^

    9ZDjyVZ.jpg

    He'd come second in a David Schwimmer look a like contest.

    You can compare Run, Fatboy, Run to Hot Fuzz to see he's also a terrible director.


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